By David Futrelle
It’s not like any of you need any more reminders that incels are some of the worst people on planet earth, but here’s one anyway, in the form of a comment on Incels.me from a dude who thinks that following 14-year-olds down the street in order to freak them the hell out is kinda fun and every incel should try it.
Here’s the full text:
I once approached a teenage girl (around 14 years old) by asking her for directions at first. Then I proceeded to ask for her name. She became afraid and started walking away. I followed her, and then she went from walking briskly to running. Her gait was peculiar, because she ran like a newborn fawn, turning around every so often, trying to see if I am still following.
(Now, I want to make clear that I absolutely abhor rape and did not have any intention in that direction, not molestation not any of that.)
She had no reason to be frightened. I wasn’t gonna do anything.
But the feeling when you follow a girl and she notices you, and she tries to loose you or picks up the pace. That is kind of a good feeling. You become important to her. You are no longer some random insignificant face in the crowd.I know it is kind of low-level behaviour. But I do enjoy doing that. I go to another city, look for a girl that is walking by herself and start following her. After a while they notice you. After dark, after sunset it may suffice to just walk in the same general direction as a girl that is walking in front of you. They become paranoid.
I recommend you lonely incels try it some time. Just to make her afraid. If you know your limits and don’t actually harass -let alone rape- that girl, it should be harmless psychological fun.
Yes, that girl had no reason to be scared of the exceedingly creepy dude following her down the street because he wasn’t really planning to rape her though the thought had definitely occurred to him.
H/T — @iAmTheWarax
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@Diego: I think he’s not just trying to GROOM rapists…he is one in the making, if he hasn’t crossed the line since this was written. He has all the earmarks of a dangerous creeper already. If the only thing holding him back is fear of getting caught, as it sure smells like it is, then eventually he’ll get emboldened to go one step further. He’ll keep going until somebody calls the cops on him. And he’ll rationalize that it’s not really assault, because because because. Just “harmless psychological fun”, eh?
Also, I love how his avatar is some asshole cheerfully kicking a girl in the crotch. Yeah, that’s not creepy or violent at ALL!
That’s one reason I’m very much unhappy that nothing other than bottom surgery is covered here (for trans-women). It may not be super prominent, but the ‘bulge’ in my throat is definitely noticeable. It’s super noticeable/glaringly obvious if I look up or crane my neck to look at something.
That’s the thing about the “involuntarily celibate.” They sure make a lot of choices that people to keep a very wide berth. Sounds like voluntary celibacy to me.
Thanks Dalillama!
Words can’t express how much I despise this sort of behavior. I know I’ve mentioned it on WHTM before; I’ve been stalked twice in two different US cities. I was an adult both of these times. I can only imagine how terrifying this must be for a child.
Like several commenters have said, it’s power-tripping. And it’s pathetic.
Ugh, this happened to me so many times as a kid. Guys in trucks, mostly, following me down the road (rural area) and trying to “talk” to me. Ugh.
In many states and cities there are ordinances and/or laws against “bothering” minors. I sincerely hope this asshole finds that out the sharp way.
I once gave a friend’s daughter a necklace with the name “Julia” spelled out. Her name is not Julia. When she looked at me with that pre-teen “what the hell?” look, I told her, “If anyone approaches you and acts like he knows you and calls you Julia, get away from him any way you can.” She thought about it for a minute and said, “… that’s really smart!”
WWTH said everything I wanted to say.
Ah well. One day he’ll do it to the wrong woman and she’ll be so freaked out she’ll stab him with the kitchen knife she keeps in her purse.
I feel pretty stupid after reading this.
Just two days ago I was arguing (online) with one of those “cat calling is just telling a woman that she is pretty and all women secretly like it”. ( and feminists are ruining good clean fun that everyone enjoys , especially , da ladies, rite? ), Doofuses.
I thought I might have gotten through to him a tiny bit when I pointed out to him that girls as young as twelve sometimes get cat calls and wolf whistles, and that is disgusting and horrible, right? So he has to know that it’s not just saying “hey, pretty lady, I appreciate your style” (creepy as that would be if yelled at a total stranger) That with that example in mind, he’d have to know that it’s a predatory, despite his disingenuous protest of cat calling being an innocent compliment .
Now I se that there are creatures out there who have no compunction against stalking, or yelling sexual innuendos at a twelve year old, – creeps of his ilk, who would actually consider that to be acceptable behavior, and that they are everywhere and I am feeling sick to my stomach
It does not surprise me one bit that men use ruses like asking for directions in order to get close to trans women to inspect them. Yuck.
This post is bringing back memories of my own similar stalking experience. I think I’ve told it here before. But it’s probably been awhile.
I was 16 (but looked a little bit younger) and walking to the lake to meet a friend for a swim. The lake was about a mile or two from my house. I stopped at a gas station about halfway there to pick up some sodas. When I was in line to pay for the them, the guy behind me, a middle aged man, was giving me creepy vibes. But he didn’t say anything to me so I thought I was imagining it. I paid and continued on my way. A block away from the gas station, he rolled up in his car, drove slow enough to keep pace with me and kept shouting “hey, hey!” I ignored him and kept walking at a brisk pace. He said “what’s the matter? Are you afraid of black guys?” and drove off. Because the problem in that scenario was race. Not a clearly adult man following and harassing a clearly not adult girl.
I thought that was the end of it. I met up with my friend. We swam and hung out on the beach for a couple of hours. I walked home. All without incident.
Then as soon as I got home, my other friend who lived a block from me and I decided to meet up to hang out between our houses. We were standing on the sidewalk and I was telling her the story of this creeper. Who should drive by right at that very moment? THE SAME FUCKING GUY. I suppose it could have been coincidence. But my street was on a residential block. Not super high traffic. And I never again saw him in my neighborhood. So presumably he had been watching me from a distance all day. I was scared I’d have another encounter with him that whole entire summer. Fortunately I never did.
I hope he has lots of fun in jail.
“I abhor rape, but it feels good to force my presence on young girls and traumatize them.”
Dude insists he has rigid boundaries, but he’s perfectly willing to ignore those of strangers. This is the “I didn’t inhale” of rape culture.
Gavin DeBecker calls that ‘stereotyping’. It’s a standard predator tactic, to manoeuvre targets into vulnerable situations.
It obviously doesn’t have to be race. Say for example someone offers to walk you home and you feel uncomfortable and decline. Then you get “Ah sorry, didn’t realise you were one of those feminazis who think all men are rapists”. You suggest the victim fits a negative stereotype, and then there’s pressure to disprove that.
Now it’s interesting to consider how many people here that would work on; but the fact is women are socialised not to appear paranoid, or even rude, and this tactic exploits that.
It’s a method of getting women to override their instincts that alert them to potential danger.
I’m sure now I’ve mentioned it, many people here can think of times it’s been tried on them.
Hmmm…next time that Flat Earth dude tries to launch himself into the atmosflat to disprove a spherical Earth, that stalker asshat should be the test pilot.
@ Tony
This is a thread about a horribly distasteful and rage inducing subject, but that really made me giggle, so thank you.
I hope this shitstain forgets to look both ways while crossing the street to stalk a child.
Not that I’m suggesting that any cars should hit him, of course! I’m just interested in the cars having some harmless fun in testing out their brakes!
Welcome back, Tony! Haven’t seen your ‘nym in a while! 🙂
@Alan Robertshaw:
Then you get “Ah sorry, didn’t realise you were one of those feminazis who think all men are rapists”. You suggest the victim fits a negative stereotype, and then there’s pressure to disprove that.
Not to mention that putting the target on the defensive also serves to deflect her attention from the crucial fact that the predator is the one acting out of line. It very probably overlaps the concept of negging.
@ full metal ox
I’d never considered that. I actually find the concept of negging a bit bizarre because it’s basically “Check please” guy from Goodness Gracious Me but on purpose!
But you’ve got me thinking. I don’t know much about PUA techniques, but it might be interesting to compare them with the standard predator techniques DeBecker identifies.
I actually feared the “to death” part in the title wasn’t litteral.
The actual post describe something not much better mind you. Just, for once, they were a small bit less awful than expected.
Solve for X:
“Don’t harass. Just, you know, stalk her.”
“Don’t rape. Just, you know, ____X____ her.”
Ugh.
Hi Tony, welcome back!
Oh wow 🙁 This is horrible. I really hope he faces consequences for this, and soon, but I’m not optimistic.
And ugh, nothing but sympathies for all the folks here with stalking and harassment stories.
I’ve been pretty lucky so far myself, but what I’ve dealt with has already been wearying. I still remember the drunk guy in South Station who called me Rainbow Brite and bent close enough almost to kiss me. And the two (!) dudes in NY Port Authority, one bombarding me with probing questions and misgendering me, the other using the correct gender and claiming to know me (!!!) and generally doing some kind of creepy rescuer act. And the also-drunk guy who sat down next to me in a subway station in East Boston, and started talking on and on at me about sex and b*tches. And…
At least my brain has gotten good at recognizing incoming schmucks. Most of the time I can look around and think: “Yeah, that gait and that look on his face, *that guy* is going to come this way and start some shit in a minute.” So when he does it’s at least not a surprise. So tiring though.
Yesterday morning on the train home from work most recently…
@Alan Robertshaw
I had some drunk creep pull the racial variant of that on me in my own residence hall’s downstairs when I was an undergrad. Being a meek kind of person, the bastard managed to sweet talk/ hassle me into giving my phone number and— yech— kissing him on the cheek. (Thank god he wasn’t a resident so he couldn’t get in at will.)
He called me the following day. Not sure what I said, but at least he didn’t follow up. Nevertheless I was freaking terrified to go or stay downstairs in my own dorm for months.
The RA pointed out to me later that it didn’t matter whether this guy was purple, plaid, or chartreuse, what he did was wrong. So yes, this stuff struck an old nerve and I have an especial hatred of this tactic.
Meanwhile incel child stalker is going to really enjoy it when some alert parent takes their child seriously and calls the cops on him. I hope that’s what happens, and not the other.