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Prevent future incel terrorism by banning makeup, forcing women to have sex with creepy weirdos, creepy weirdo suggests

Cher weaponizes her eyelashes in an attempt to bamboozle men with makeup trickery

By David Futrelle

So here’s a screenshot floating around the internet that offers a sensible, common-sense solution to the problem of incels literally murdering people because they’re angry no hot women with have sex with them.

And by “sensible” and” “common-sense” I mean, “what the fucking fuck is this fuckery?”

Here’s the full text if you’d rather not squint at that:

People make is sound as if the “Incel Rebellion” is a laughing matter and that people don’t understand problem.

The incels are not the problem, but rather they are a symptom that something is very wrong in our society — and unless their legitimate grievances are addressed this could very soon spiral out of control just like what happened in Iraq, Libya and Syria when their respective governments refused to address and deal with the legitimate grievances a portion of their popolation had.

Calling the Incels a bunch of virgins and “frustrated losers with communication skills equal to that of an autistic potato” is oversimplifying the problem yes they are all that but why are they frustrated virgins?

The real issue is that with the advancement of makeup, healthy at any size bullshit, feminism and through social engineering a lot of women have become detached from reality. The reason these Incels arn’t getting laid is because women with a sexual market value equal to theirs use makeup to go from a 3/10 – 7/10 (false marketing in my opinion and should be a punishable offense) to fuck with men above their league.

So I propose that rather than making Incels look bad we look at the reasons they’ve become this way and what steps we can take to deconflict and reverse things because, let’s be real calling them names, labeling them a terrorist organization etc isn’t going to make the problem go away.

There are several ways I propose we do this:

1) Women are no longer allowed to wear makeup, ie falsely advertise their beauty and hence stop them from banging guys above their league.

2) Women are only allowed to date men with equal sexual market value to them. State-mandated tests should be made and everyone get a sexual-market value card ranging from 1/10 to 10/10, like an ID card.

3) Every time a woman sleeps with a new man she lose one 1 rank on her sexual-market value card until she reach the lowest rank 1/10.

4) There’s no way to rise through the ranks other than through excercise

5) Women with more than 9 sexual partners and single moms should be forced by the state to date and have sex with incels that can’t get any women despite the above changes.

This would deal with the problem not the symptom and is the ay we deal with everything from counter-piracy to counter- terrorism. The incel threat is real and should be treated the same way.

Though I haven’t been able to track this screenshot to its source, my guess — as someone who has been reading this sort of shit for years — is that it’s a sincere post from an incel sympathizer. If it’s a parody, and I really don’t think it is, it’s pitch-perfect, written by someone who has utterly mastered contemporary internet misogynist logic.

H/T —  r/BadEconomics via Talia Lavin on Twitter.

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Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
6 years ago

without telling them that they were a joke.

What?! But I’ve already noted down the answer in my copybook.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

@Moggie – An incel traveling in a rocketship at v = 0.8c ages into a fine Clooney Noir six times faster than his earthbound counterpart.

Moggie
Moggie
6 years ago

I’ve just measured my wrist circumference, and now I’m sad.

Moggie
Moggie
6 years ago

@Buttercup, that’s all very well, but when he returns to Earth, every Stacy will be long dead.

http://www.1999.co.jp/itbig33/10335337.jpg

Robert Walker-Smith
Robert Walker-Smith
6 years ago

I have a strong suspicion that incels would refuse to believe in gay male incels. Gay men have sex with men, like women do, so they can have sex whenever they want with whoever they want.

To quote the late Harvey Milk, “Oh, I *wish*.”

Shadowplay
6 years ago

@Violet

Get an orchid to reflower

You wild dreamer, you! That’s impossible. 😛

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

@Moggie – Easy peasy. All he has to do is travel faster than the speed of light and go back in time to the 1600s, when women were all natural 9.9s and marrying an incel was the only way to avoid being accused of witchcraft.

Moggie
Moggie
6 years ago

The 1600s? How do you expect a guy to make dank memes in the 1600s?

Binjabreel
Binjabreel
6 years ago

The way my great grandfather made memes! By carving them in scrimshaw or wood!

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Memes go back at least as far as the Bayeux tapestry, don’t they?

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Here’s a carving from an ancient Greek incel uprising against misandric Amazon Stacies
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Look at how ugly those incels are with their no legs and arms.

Paradoxical Intention: Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Oooh fuh.

People make is sound as if the “Incel Rebellion” is a laughing matter and that people don’t understand problem.

Honestly, the “incel rebellion” isn’t a laughing matter. These fuckers are going out and killing people. It’s gone way past “laughing matter”, and it’s been past that honestly since its current incarnation.

The idea that men can be bitter and angry that they’re not given what they feel they’re owed is a societal problem for sure, but I don’t feel like it’s a “we don’t understand them” kind of problem, but more of a “they don’t understand how anything works” kind of problem.

The problem isn’t that people don’t “understand incels”, society as a whole bends over backwards to “understand” and accommodate angry, bitter men in many, many ways. And in doing so they often steamroll everybody else in the process.

If you look at women who are attacked/raped/murdered by men, we get shit like “Why did she do ______?”, or “Why didn’t she just ________?” or “Well, what did she expect?” and this is constant.

However, this does run into problems. Mainly the problem that led to incels, men who think they’re “owed” a partner of their choosing and all the sex that goes with it. They’re entitled.

The incels are not the problem, but rather they are a symptom that something is very wrong in our society — […]

Ah yes, nothing says “I’m someone whose issues are to be legitimately considered” than comparing “I can’t seem to get laid and/or get women to talk to me” to an entire country being torn apart by civil war.

And what a lame ass attempt at a veiled threat. “If we don’t get what we want, we’ll start a war where people will die!”

Look dude, knowing what comes after this? You’re way off base.

Calling the Incels a bunch of virgins and “frustrated losers with communication skills equal to that of an autistic potato” is oversimplifying the problem yes they are all that but why are they frustrated virgins?

Because they only see women as tools for sex and not their own people? Because they’re bitter assholes who think they’re “owed” sex, but who also hate themselves to a very awful degree? Because they “rate” women at a glance on a scale of 10? Because they think “autistic” is an insult?

Because even if a woman DID pay attention to them, they’d get angry because she wasn’t a “10/10” virgin with the sex skills of a porn star?

Because they’ve been told constantly that they’re “ugly” and women don’t want them because women are all shallow, and not because they’re all bitter at women as a whole because they spend their time furiously hating women on Reddit for not being willing to give them a chance?

The real issue is that with the advancement of […]

Nothing’s stopping men from wearing makeup, joining HAES, or benefiting from some feminist advancements, bruh. None of these things are exclusive to women, you’ve just boxed them that way.

As for women “fucking with men above their league”: How do you know that those men are “above their league”? What makes you think that she’s not an awesome lady who deserves an equally awesome dude? Solely because of her looks? How very shallow of you.

You don’t know anything about these women’s lives or personalities, but you’ve decided based solely on their looks that they’re not worthy of the man who you’ve deemed superior based, again solely, on looks.

And you don’t find this hypocritical at all?

So I propose that rather than making Incels look bad

Trust me dude, they don’t need any help in that department.

we look at the reasons they’ve become this way and what steps we can take to deconflict and reverse things because, let’s be real calling them names, labeling them a terrorist organization etc isn’t going to make the problem go away.

I agree with the name calling bit. Calling people awful names doesn’t help anyone and only leads to them further retreating into their echo chambers. (As tempting as it is to hurl insults at the very unrepentant.)

However, it’s hard to want to extend an olive branch and seek to understand someone who wants to put people in prison for putting on makeup and/or fucking men that some stranger who feels they don’t deserve to.

I’m also not going to apologize for the calling them terrorists. Because they are the literal definitions of terrorists. “People who use violence and fear to incite political change”.

There are several ways I propose we do this:

1) Women are no longer allowed to wear makeup, ie falsely advertise their beauty and hence stop them from banging guys above their league.

Counter proposal: Stop defining “leagues” that people fit into based on vague superficial nonsense that varies from person to person.

Also, no one wears makeup to “falsely advertise their beauty”. That’s like saying that we should all walk around naked because clothes can make us look nicer.

Of course, the only reason you’re not demanding that is because men wear clothes too, and makeup has a more feminine core demographic. Wonder why that is.

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/256/183/9d5.png

2) Women are only allowed to date men with equal sexual market value to them. State-mandated tests should be made and everyone get a sexual-market value card ranging from 1/10 to 10/10, like an ID card.

Okay, so who makes these tests? Is it a single man (because of course it would be a man considering how much OP seems to hate women) or is it a panel of men? How do we resolve conflicts when two men inevitably find the same woman to be different SMVs? Would it be based on averages then? Would all men take a test to rate every woman on the planet and then average it out? Would it be constantly updating as we age or as we wear different clothes?

Do men have to go through the same process but with a woman/group of women panel? What about people who aren’t straight? Do they have to have a panel of queer peers to judge them?

What about asexual people who might not want to have sex at all? Do they have to go through this process?

What about trans people? Do they have to go through the process more than once? Or what about non binary people like me whose gender fluctuates frequently? Would I have to get retested every time that my gender fluctuates?

This isn’t a very well thought out plan, bruh.

3) Every time a woman sleeps with a new man she lose one 1 rank on her sexual-market value card until she reach the lowest rank 1/10.

And this doesn’t apply to men because…?

I mean, I know the answer (that OP’s a sexist piece of shit who hates women for having sex), but I honestly want to hear the explanation for this.

Though, this does bring up more questions: Are all porn actresses automatically a 1/10 then? Does a faithful married woman have a lot higher SMV? Does every woman start at a 10/10? How will you explain away the pedophilia that implies? How will men get access to sex if all the women refuse to have it with them if it’ll lower their SMV?

4) There’s no way to rise through the ranks other than through excercise

“Well, Jenny it looks like your SMV will inevitably drop because you broke your leg and can’t do your state-mandated exercise for the next few months.”

“Sorry Karen, but even though you exercise you haven’t lost any weight. Looks like we’ll have to reject your SMV appeal.”

Do women who have sex with a new man get to earn those points back if they exercise enough? Do women who exercise and gain muscle mass lose SMV? Do women who can’t exercise due to disability or illness stay at the same SMV (who am I kidding this guy never thought about them as fuckable in the first place) or do they lose SMV?

5) Women with more than 9 sexual partners and single moms should be forced by the state to date and have sex with incels that can’t get any women despite the above changes.

So men can sit around and not exercise and still get dates with women as long as they manufacture a claim that they can’t exercise?

Sounds like a massive fucking loophole to me.

And what happens when these women who have had more than 9 partners and single moms aren’t up to those incels lofty standards?

Do you incite a new rebellion to force supermodels to fuck you?

This would deal with the problem not the symptom and is the ay we deal with everything from counter-piracy to counter- terrorism. The incel threat is real and should be treated the same way.

Nah, it would only make it worse considering how you didn’t really think this shit out at all.

I mean, “Let’s give the terrorists/pirates what they want!” isn’t how we deal with terrorism/piracy at all.

If you wanted to deal with incels the same way you deal with terrorists or pirates, we’d have outlawed inceldom a long time ago and bombed the fuck out of their country of origin to profit capitalist warmongers, and sent in soldiers to beat and rape the survivors.
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Paradoxical Intention: Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Also, here’s a relevant YouTube video:

The Real Cie
6 years ago

@zlz
Being an asshole isn’t a mental illness.
Me and the trifecta of mental illnesses with which I’ve wrestled for 53 years now raise the middle finger on high in honor of this crap statement:
“At least we know these guys won’t breed and pass down their mental illness”

EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

Paradoxy, I am in awe of you.

(A)utonomist Escapist
(A)utonomist Escapist
6 years ago

Holy dystopian-science-fantasy-nightmare Batman!

Someone probably outwitty-ed me with that, but it’s literally all I can manage at this time.

DerangedDan
DerangedDan
6 years ago

Though I haven’t been able to track this screenshot to its source, my guess — as someone who has been reading this sort of shit for years — is that it’s a sincere post from an incel sympathizer.

I have a fairly strong suspicion that this is specifically our old friend GGG. I’m not terribly confident, since he’s hardly the only incel who think a like this, but these oddly specific, nonsensical systems by which society can properly appeased him are very much his style.

IgnoreSandra - Lady of Smoke

@Paradoxical Intention

You are catlike in your obvious glory.

idli sambar revolution
idli sambar revolution
6 years ago

It behooves us to settle upon one spelling of Stacey. I’m seeing Staci, Stacie, Stacy and Stacey. Just like a woman to create so much confusion. At least Chad is straightforward and easeful in it’s simplicity.

Why are limbs missing in that Greek carving?

idli sambar revolution
idli sambar revolution
6 years ago

“*lol* if you have had way more than nine sex partners *raises hand*, do you have a negative number then? And what would that even mean? ”

It means an incel wouldn’t have sex with you, so you win.

Z&T
Z&T
6 years ago

Self and two pals here (ladies) decided to measure our wrist circumference. All sim and the average is 6.25 inches.

I’m not sure what this means.

Because I was just talking about “clumsiness”, another related idea, could you “pack a punch”?

Our other Miss Z here punched herself in the face trying to make the bed. “A pillow was stuck”. Which she was pulling on and something finally “came free” but it wasn’t the pillow freed from the side of the bed, it was her fist slipping off the pillow case which then hit her right in the eye.

“I literally saw stars!”
“Gave myself a black eye!”

OUCH

Well then you could probably defend yourself too then, right?

6 and a quarter inches of self slugging fury!

Clumsy people…..

And now I’m going to attempt to cook something….
I think these people hang around me because I start the least amount of fires….

Orion
Orion
6 years ago

Forgive me if someone already asked about this, but I didn’t see it mentioned.

If women can only have sex with men of equal SMV, but women lose 1 SMV every time they have sex with a new man, does that mean they can only have sex with any man once? Like, if you’re a 5 and you hook up with a 5, you immediately become a 4 and can never see them again, right? So even a perfect 10 could only have sex 9 times in their life before they were forced into slavery.

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
6 years ago

Paradoxy, that video is brilliant!! Brilliant, I say! I laughed to hard I peed a bit!

Otrame
Otrame
6 years ago

@ Violet and @ Shadowplay:

*Holds hand up with some trepidation*

Ummm… I have an orchid currently in flower for the 4th time.

Bought it at a Home Depot in bloom. It had lovely flowers. It blooms starting in late March/early April every year. This year, I think I will find a bigger orchid pot for it after it quits.

My first advice is take the orchid out of the pot it comes in. You will find a bit of cork, or a bunch of bark wrapped in plastic that the orchid is actually growing out of. REMOVE the plastic. This is an important step.

Repot the orchid in a mix of about 1/4 sphagnum moss, 3/4 tree bark or you can buy a course orchid mix made for epiphytes, which is pretty much the same thing. Avoid the kind with a lot of charcoal unless you live in a terribly hot and wet climate and want them outside.

They make orchid pots but the main point is that the orchid roots need air. The tree bark mix allows lots of air. You can put them in a variety of things, including wood baskets (if there are lots of holes for the air to get into) but they do not do well in standard flower pots.

There are orchids that are not epiphytes, but I am not at all familiar with those.

Keep the tree bark moist, but not flooded because the water will keep the air away from the roots. You’ll probably need to water every other day or so in summer, less so in winter.

If you have a place outside that is dappled shade pretty much all the time, put them there. You can chain the pots to tree trunks. They like that sort of thing as long as you keep them watered (every day if you live in a hot climate) and remember they don’t like cool weather. Indoors, keep them where they get bright indirect light with little to no direct sunlight. When not in bloom I keep my orchids in my bedroom window that gets about 15 minutes of direct sunlight at sunrise.

The orchids they sell at Home Depot-like places can do fine indoors with the temp that is comfy for you. No need for a greenhouse.

The orchid will put out some roots up in the air that will work their way into the tree bark mix. Avoid touching them. Then, at the correct time for that species, it will put out flower spikes, which at first look a bit like roots. These will sometimes take a month or more to actually bloom. The blooms last a long time, sometimes a couple of months. When they are done, cut the spike back and give the pot a bit of fertilizer. Go VERY easy on this. It is easy to burn them with artificial fertilizers. I use less than half the amount recommend on orchid fertilizer packages. Keep the bark moist, wipe dust off the leaves now and then with a wet paper towel, and wait until next year.

And sometimes they will just up and die on you. They are tricky beasts.

Hope that helps. I’ve had orchids that rebloomed several times and then died for no obvious reason, but the above advice is what I have been doing and I usually get at least 3 years of blooms.

Shadowplay
6 years ago

@Otrame

!!!! <3 🙂

Saving those instructions. I love orchids, but it gets expensive fast when they just up and die on me.

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