By David Futrelle
Check out my piece at the Globe and Mail today about shutting incel forums the hell down. Here’s a snippet:
[I]f appeals to shared humanity are out, is there anything else we can do? We may not be able to win back those who have plunged too deeply into the incel rabbit hole, but we can take steps to limit their ability to recruit new members. Incels aren’t born; they’re made. Sure, most new incel recruits start out embittered and lonely. But they are radicalized by their incel peers on a relatively small number of message boards devoted to the incel ideology.
So we should take a page from the anti-fascist activists who’ve done so much to kick back against the so-called “alt-right” over the last year – not only by confronting the fascists in the streets but also working diligently behind the scenes to take away their platforms online.
You can find the piece here.
I know my easily distracted little female brain is going to have a hard time doing this whole “Fighting for my fundamental human rights” thing without a toxic man telling me when I’m doing it wrong.
Well I’m going to go and accomplish my tasks for today, which involve hanging out with and supporting a friend who’s going through some toxic ass bullshit right now.
I’m really hoping men start stepping up to the plate and just being better. It would really help everyone.
So what’s the over-under on Aging Chad and indli sambar revolution being socks?
@Aging Chad
And I remember being “corrected” if I stepped out of the hetero-cis line, so fuck off.
There’s a bare hint of sense in that men should set the example for their peers, but coercing participation in team sports, threatening violence and bullying, and destroying property isn’t even close to any sort of example that we need.
Seriously, listen to the people here. Your plan doesn’t fix this shit, it papers over it with it’s own variety of toxicity. Hammering anyone outside your mold just hurts far more than it could possibly help.
@ Scildfreja
Re: Lord of the Flies. Worrying thought that William Golding was a school teacher when he wrote it.
@Chad, you’re an ally of the evil that created the incels. You want to “fix” the problem” by pushing it underground. In other words, you want women to be just as abused, bulled, and miserable, you’d just rather that you didn’t hear about it. Those are the end results of what you prescribe.
How long have you know about these incels, Chad? We’ve been following their hate for years, and you wade in here and expect to dispense your wisdom like a gymnosperm. We’ve been doing this for awhile, we don’t need Anonybro showing up to tell us we’re doing it wrong while citing anti-feminist talking points as if they were written on stone tablets from the peak of Mt Sinai.
But you’re gone now, and in your departure you make an excellent example on why we shouldn’t struggle too hard to please centrist “allies.” The moment they are criticized or confronted with something they don’t like, their convictions disappear. Their concern for the issues of patriarchy dissolve like cotton candy in the rain. Their desire to help others is overwhelmed by the desire to protect themselves, and they retreat. Chad, I name thee Cassie Jaye.
Bye, Felicia
Well that was well something.
There is always something enjoyable about watching the masters at work ripping into sealions.
@Aging chad
I think you should keep working on that flounce.
Also, David, could you ban that fucko? Just in case?
@Chad:
Idiot gone?
Sorry to DP –
What do you do about this masculist macho bullshit?
Try this for example. Not standing for it is a pretty good response.
Wow. I’m in awe. Y’all are just amazing.
@Violet
All the sympathies, and all the healing, to you and your friends. Men are such bastards.
@Cyborgette, have you never seen the traditional MRA-roast? It’s one of my favourite traditions here 😀 Extra points for adjectiving good.
I remember being bullied on the playground at recess in elementary school. I told adults in charge about it, and kept doing so until the adults got so fed up that they actually did something, and the bullies realized that bullying me was not having the desired effect. It helped tremendously that the faculty and staff knew my parents would back me up. I wasn’t popular because of it, but it never occurred to me that being popular on the playground was a desirable outcome.
I was the sixth child of seven, so my parents had had a lot of experience by then.
I wanna write more about the whole “bullying as social regulation” thing, because it’s important to finish the dissection so that the disease is laid bare to the class. But I have toddlers to wrangle. Maybe this afternoon.
@cyborgette
Hey, thanks 🙂
I prefer “some men are bastards”. I have male friends I love and have deep friendships with. I love my boyfriend.
Somehow it feels like if I ever descend into hating men generally, the assholes will have won because they’ll have made me normalise their behaviour to all men, just like they want.
No, your bad behaviour does not get to make me hate all men, you don’t get to take my friends away from me and poison my relationship. No, I don’t think all men are rapists, because it is not normal to be a rapist. Stop pretending it is. STOP PRETENDING YOU ARE ALL NORMAL MEN, ALL YOU ABUSERS, RAPISTS, INCELS AND MRAS. YOU ARE NOT NORMAL. YOU ARE NOT REPRESENTATIVE. YOU ARE NOT “JUST THE WAY MEN ARE”.
That’s how they get away with it, you know. They talk like they are normal and everyone goes along with it, even all the people who are secretly thinking “o is this normal? am I the weird one?”
I’m a clear thinker. I don’t hate men. I just hate assholes 🙂
Anyway, as my parting gift before I go to bed, please have Daphne and Celeste making friends with an alien. It’s OT but I am legit in love with it and have been playing it on repeat because it makes me happy 🙂
Or…not. That doesn’t seem to be working. If you want to see it, it’s called Alarms 🙂
Violet: Congrats on the above post, Scildfreja Unnyðnes was as always amazing.
I don’t think that was more than havy disagreeament, what was predictable from the get go.
If this was enough to drive Aging Chad (the nom did scream bad faith btw) away, that is kind of lame for him.
Holy shit. Aging Chad completely ignored what WWTH posted, demanded solutions, and wrote off their reply as bumper stickers without functionally engaging with them in the slightest.
Work on your shit Aging Chad. This,
Is actual substance, and wouldn’t actually fit on a bumper sticker just to be overly literal.
Take it from someone who’s managed to find a way to be helpful and STILL finds shit to work on in couple counseling, those aren’t cheap and shallow political slogans.
Damn I go off to work and when I get back the troll has already flounced.
Oh well I’m sure he’ll be happier in a place more tolerant of allies in favor of *squints at paper* “Encouraging bullying and talking over women.”
Hehehe. Chad reminds me of an onion article:
https://www.theonion.com/man-finally-put-in-charge-of-struggling-feminist-moveme-1819569515
Glad he flounced. Reminded me a lot of fguy too.
@Scildfreja
This… seems like a most excellent tradition. 🙂
@Violet
Legit; to each her own feelings/strategies/goals/etc.
I don’t disagree with any of what you say, just… IDK, cynicism and paranoia towards men have helped keep me alive a bunch, and reality has done little to debunk them. YMMV.
Chad, are you trying to say that when men and boys exhibit misogynistic, bullying behavior they should be socially shamed by pointing out their wrong attitudes? Like speaking up when you hear sexist, racist, bigoted banter and stuff? If that’s what you’re trying so say, then ok. Somehow you didn’t express that efficiently.
idli sambar revolution
Look we get it, you are incapable of seeing anything wrong with what Chad said. You don’t have to belabor the point.
Wow, fguy’s ban didn’t last long did it?
My Dad was a big believer in this. In middle school I was being harassed by some other girls and decided to go to the assistant principal because I couldn’t get them to stop. He said I was breaking the “rules of the playground” by getting an adult to interfere. He also believed the bullying would make you stronger/smarter if you dealt with it yourself. I’m surprised he didn’t say “Maybe those girls have some good points about how lame you are, why can’t you just stop being weird?”
Chad also sounds like a Jordan Peterson type, saying these guys just need to play less video games and to clean their room and that’s going to fix them.
Chad reminded me of this cartoon from the incomparable @Ciaraioch on Twitter:
Also, it’s a new morning here and with the night’s sleep to refresh my mood, I have realised that … nope. Still a really weird thread 😐