Wishing my beautiful daughter a great time at prom after I shoot her date in the dick

…The Toronto Van guy’s an Incel?

…The heck? What was driving a van into a crowd going to do about that?

@wwth

Since incels seem to internalize “I am so hideous that I am unlovable” maybe the plan would be to spare any horrifyingly ugly people. Never mind that physical attraction is subjective and that their personalities are the ugly bits.

Or maybe the sort of folks that do this are the same sort to not think too deeply about their actions and the implications of them.

Before I used to think this is funny and just thought these fathers are trying to protect their daughters but now I realize how very creepy and downright dangerous this is.

People only seem to care about women/girls when they are related or friends. Or they just care about their virginities.

Z&T
For those of us who don’t have a father, what do we do?

Enough of men see us as “easy prey” too. They talk about women with “Daddy Issues”.

Ugh, I lived in a single mother household too. Guys like that are very disgusting.

Yeah I hate that saying “why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free” with a passion. It suggests the only reason someone would marry me is if they’re desperate to bang me but I won’t let them unless they enter into a pesky, pesky marriage.
I’ve given away a shitload of free milk if you go by this allegory, including to Husband, and then Husband still proposed to me, possibly because he actually wants to be in a lifelong relationship with me.

I wouldn’t want to marry a man who thinks it’s okay for him to have premarital sex but not okay for women to have premarital sex, therefore, if I sleep with him after a few dates, he’ll dump me. If a guy is going to dump me for having sex with him, I’d consider that a bullet dodged. So yeah, that threat about the milk and the cows doesn’t function as much of a threat to me at all.

I noticed the other day that a few people in the comments here were perplexed as to what was wrong with that photo/joke. Thanks for doing this extra piece on it, that goes a long way to explaining what’s wrong with it, explained in different ways for different people. I hope that helps the confused

As it happens, I do not trust teenagers to make good choices about sex or indeed a whole range of issues. Teen brains do not assess risk in the same way that adult brains do. In about two years I will be the mother of a teenager. Next year, I will be the step-mother of a teenager. And in about three years, I will have three teen boys in my home (part time).

Any sex other than masturbation* carries physical and emotional risks. I know that my boys’ judgement will improve over time, but it will not be a straightforward journey and they will do some very stupid things on their way to adulthood. If they are in any way like their parents, or other humans on the planet, they will continue to make stupid decisions in adulthood including decisions about sex.

However, threats of violence are not the way to handle this. And a parent’s job is to help their child/teen/young adult to navigate various rites of passage – including prom, learning to drive, etc. etc. Although it icks many people out, parents should be preparing teens to handle sexuality responsibly and that never, ever, ever involves a gun and it certainly doesn’t involve treating another human being as property to be protected, held or transferred. This is difficult, particularly given that there are all kinds messages, not least the traditional wedding ceremony**, that treat women’s passage into adult sexuality as a transaction. Yuck.

___
*even masturbation has risks if not done properly. But not egregious ones, usually.
** I really struggled with this one in my own wedding. I did not want to do this, but my mother talked me into it. Double yuck. I won’t be doing that again, for sure. However, I did just talk my dad into paying the bar bill at my next wedding – so there’s that.

I noticed the other day that a few people in the comments here were perplexed as to what was wrong with that photo/joke. Thanks for doing this extra piece on it, that goes a long way to explaining what’s wrong with it, explained in different ways for different people. I hope that helps the confused

I am thankful too – but also 2 people explained me yesterday anyway. but I am still not sure what to think. if she is “in on the joke” – then is it okay? or because she also contributed to misogyny because of the joke, then she is also responsible?

And he said that he had been contemplating taking me back but now it’s gonna be none of that!

Translation: I am an abusive asshole who will, when I mistreat you, find something you did and try to make you believe that the mistreatment is because of that.

I am so, so thankful that you got away from the asshole safely, DV. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.

@ dvarg

Maybe he had mind control powers like Kilgrave in Jessica Jones? That would explain things!

One of the brightest most independent women I know has been in an abusive relationship for a few years now. Intellectually she knows it, and she even knows why she stays. The irony is she’s a lawyer who specialises in DV cases. We’ve done all the “what would you say to a client who walked in and told you what you’re telling us?” bit. In her ‘lucid’ moments (usually after he’s pushed it too far) she can be completely rational about the situation; but then all his tricks work again. She’s compared it to advertising, like she knows she’s being manipulated, but that doesn’t mean you can resist.

So it’s not so much mind control, it is though manipulation. But you can’t help that. Brains are jerks, they fall for all sorts of crap.

Dvärghundspossen:

Yeah I hate that saying “why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free” with a passion. It suggests the only reason someone would marry me is if they’re desperate to bang me but I won’t let them unless they enter into a pesky, pesky marriage.

(content warning for me overthinking this analogy)

It’s so confusing overall. Is owning a dairy cow like being married to a woman, or the other way round? As a married woman, are you producing sex and trading it for marriage, or are you a means of sex production? Are unmarried women a property of their breeder, and who then is supposed to trade/use their…nevermind.

I hazard to guess it’s the former, and the analogy actually refers to the commitment of maintaining/supporting a dairy cow/wife, rather than the act of buying/marrying one. But even then, a better analogy for a wife would be a contract farmer rather than a farm animal.

And if you’re a farmer giving away milk for free, is it deliberate, or because you’re accidentally stuck with unsellable production? Then there’s the question why would your milk only have sale value in contract farming, when your potential customers are apparently reluctant to commit to contracts, but might well want to buy milk in consumer sized packages.

Finally, I recall that years ago the Nordic dairy company Arla had this advertising slogan, “There’s a small cow living inside each of us”. If this were literally true, raising awareness of it would clearly undermine the dairy market. Therefore, I can only assume it is a masturbation analogy.

In Sweden the tradition is different, the bride and groom walk in together and all parents just sit in the benches. However, because people are so influenced by Hollywood movies, more and more people want to do it the American way. That’s incomprehensible to me. The symbolism is so blatant, and it’s not a nice symbolism. I totally get it if an American wants to do it that way simply because it’s tradition. But why someone from a culture which doesn’t have this tradition would want to import it – it baffles me.
I know there are some priests who object to the American ceremony and even a previous arch bishop spoke out against it, but I guess the majority of priests just bow to the wishes of the client.