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Wishing my beautiful daughter a great time at prom after I shoot her date in the dick

Keep your paws off of my daughter!

By David Futrelle

On Saturday, former NFL star Jay Feely posted this pic on twitter:

Feely later clarified that the picture was meant as a joke, so I guess it’s a bit of a relief to know that he wasn’t literally planning to gun down his daughter’s boyfriend if he found out that the two had engaged in some variety of sex-having.

As jokes go, though, this isn’t exactly an original one. A quick search on the Google will turn up countless variants on Feely’s joke, many of them available for purchase in the form of signs and t-shirts.

Not everyone on the internet thought Feely’s variation on this old joke was all that funny.

https://twitter.com/nachdermas/status/988128179821916160

Some made their own jokes:

https://twitter.com/gothstepdad/status/988118581572526080

https://twitter.com/LilRevive/status/988156277179256832

And then, of course, there were the cute animals.

https://twitter.com/bkerogers/status/988260730725126150

https://twitter.com/Slennon_/status/988127131451314176

Ok, maybe cute isn’t the right word for that last tweet.

But my favorite response was the angry email that gun control activist Shannon Watts got from someone insisting that the dad was perfectly correct to pull out his gun to “protect” his daughter’s “chastity” because once a woman has been with too many dicks she loses the ability to love.

Huh. Seems like I’ve heard that argument before. Evidently, the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit is leaking again.

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sunnysombrera
6 years ago

He couldn’t just stay behind the camera and let his daughter go on a nice date to the prom. You’re right, this whole venture screams “possessive and chauvinistic.”

I wonder what his marriage is like.

_CEEFAX_
_CEEFAX_
6 years ago

Best part for me was @MechaPrimate going fucking ballistic and calling people ‘male feminists’ and basically insinuating they were perverts or something.

Like gee

Mexican Hot Chocolate
Mexican Hot Chocolate
6 years ago

This “joke” is insulting to both young women and young men. It implies that the young woman’s sexuality is not her own and that the young man is an uncontrollable sex-fiend. It doesn’t paint a very flattering picture of fathers either; showing them as heavily-armed, barely restrained balls of toxic rage.

tim gueguen
6 years ago

Yep, it’s because American women are so promiscuous that marriage rates are so low. It has nothing to do with all those American men who are being promiscuous with them. Or nothing to do with promiscuity at all. And marriages ending in divorce is bad, unlike the good old days when people stayed married no matter how shitty their marriages were.

calmdown
calmdown
6 years ago

I noticed this is only a problem if you have “pretty” daughters. Of course, every manly man wants a beautiful daughter, no point in having a woman if you can’t make other men jealous and threaten them! /s

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

The joke would have been funny if it subverted the trope and the boy was his son, the girl was the date and the dad was protective of his virginity. Only if the gun was fake though. It’s not a very funny joke if it’s just upholding a bullshit status quo.

I find it really funny – but not haha funny, peculiar I guess* – that so many misogynists from the English speaking world fetishize the chastity of Asian women when at the same time there’s a huge sex tourism industry in many Asian countries. It’s almost like their interest in Asian women is not actually about virginity but more about perceived powerlessness and submissiveness. And now I have a use for this Skye gif again

comment image

*I’ll reward anyone who knows where that line is from with a cute pic of an animal species of your choosing.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I noticed this is only a problem if you have “pretty” daughters. Of course, every manly man wants a beautiful daughter, no point in having a woman if you can’t make other men jealous and threaten them! /s

Yeah, wanting a trophy daughter is even grosser than wanting a trophy wife. It also rests on the assumption that no one would have sex with a not “pretty” girl.

I’m also going to go out on a limb and guess that these obsessively overprotective dads are more likely to be sexually abusing their daughters than the general dad population. Purity culture and rape culture are inherently linked.

Hexum7
Hexum7
6 years ago

Obviously, you only obsess about the state of your kid’s vagina if they’re a hottie that you would date.

Bet they are all Trumpsters

Or could be I’m reading this tweet wrong…could it be there’s another reason why Jay wants to shove his hard ready to shoot phallic symbol next to that sweet blonde teenage package?

Sister Bat'leth of Rational Discussion
Sister Bat'leth of Rational Discussion
6 years ago

This sort of thing comes up in non-sexual areas too. When my partner’s daughter finally got her driver’s license, you wouldn’t believe the number of people who made “jokes” indicating that we should keep her in the child’s position of having to beg us for a ride any time she wanted to go anywhere. I would give them the “what planet are you from?” stinkeye and talk about how pleased we were that she’d achieved this major step toward independent adulthood.

Z&T
Z&T
6 years ago

For those of us who don’t have a father, what do we do?

Enough of men see us as “easy prey” too. They talk about women with “Daddy Issues”.

But what if you have cleared most of that from your mind? Over and done with and recognize that some people are just assholes.

Deep Thoughts: If my father was an asshole, does that make me an Alpha Female?

Contemplating such things would probably cause them to stop braining.

Dads and daughters. And me and my car issues. A guy approached me today, asking if I want to sell my car, he wants to buy it as a gift for his daughter who’s admired it in my driveway!

Really? And dad wants to buy his daughter a gift for graduating college.

Aw, what a nice dad! I was honest about it’s issues, which I am working on, and then we’ll talk more.

This girl likes the car and wants it? And dad wants to help? Nice dad right here 🙂

And this might work out to be one of those mystical “win win” situations….

K.
K.
6 years ago

I noticed this is only a problem if you have “pretty” daughters. Of course, every manly man wants a beautiful daughter, no point in having a woman if you can’t make other men jealous and threaten them! /s

Not to mention if Feely had a son, he’d then probably think said male child should be out, spreadin’ his wild oats with as many girls as he can…*barf*

Starfury
Starfury
6 years ago

I’m just gonna paste what I wrote on the other thread where this came up:

There is also the flip side that this kind of mentality suggests women without a male figure to protect her is ‘fair game’ for disrespectful behaviour from their partners.

I have heard this expressed more explicitly in a heavily patriarchal country than I imagine people do in the US (or UK) but I can’t help feeling like some of the message filters into society

ETA: I hadn’t considered this as an aspect of the horrid ‘daddy issues’ vileness you hear bandied about

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Not to mention if Feely had a son, he’d then probably think said male child should be out, spreadin’ his wild oats with as many girls as he can…*barf*

And if son and his friends get someone else’s “beautiful daughter” blind drunk and rape her, then it’s just boys being boys and she was a dirty slut who shouldn’t have been drinking with boys, dontcha know?

Ray of Rays
Ray of Rays
6 years ago

Evidently, the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit is leaking again.

Pretty sure that calls for lead shielding at this point.

Iseult The Idle
Iseult The Idle
6 years ago

@WWTH Eels lyric, right? Life is funny but not haha funny?

My favorite tweet follow up to this was something like, “It’s been two months since Parkland, but sure, let’s joke about shooting teenagers.”

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
6 years ago

I seem to remember my high school prom date and I screwing like minks the entire time we were dating. Ahhh, young lust…. 😀

…apparently neither of us has changed in 30 some years. LOL! (Well, other than we’re with other people now. *snicker*)

On reflection, I’d be more inclined to believe that my mom would have threatened *me* for being an evil sluuuuuuut. 😛 (Fortunately she was against guns.)

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Iseult The Idle wins a cute animal pic!

Which species do you like?

PS You Rock My World is one of my favorite albums and now that it’s almost 20 years old, I fear its been largely forgotten.

Dreamer
Dreamer
6 years ago

Confession: my dad wanted to tip especially well a waiter who asked me out. Thanks?!

Gijoel
Gijoel
6 years ago

When I looked at that prom photo all I could see was male insecurity and a cheesy sitcom plot.

8 simple rules for shooting myself in the balls.

Pseudonym
Pseudonym
6 years ago

Rules for dating my daughter:

1. My daughter is intelligent, self-aware, and has excellent taste. I trust her.

Cats In Shiny Hats
Cats In Shiny Hats
6 years ago

My father used to show my dates MY old targets and wax eloquently about how good I was. It always made me feel like he trusted me to take care of myself.

Lucrece
Lucrece
6 years ago

Re: the final tweet

These guys still have no idea where milk comes from (hint: it isn’t from vaginas).

brian
brian
6 years ago

I have it on good authority that just having a daughter makes you a beta cuck, so… take that, I guess, football dude.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
6 years ago

“Giving away free milk” sounds like a reference to that old saw “Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free?” Which is disgusting on so many levels.

Flora
Flora
6 years ago

@David

Early reports are tying the man who drove a van through a crowd in Toronto with the incel community. Given the source is a Facebook post it’s hard to say at this point. That he asked police to shoot him (which they declined to do) does suggest that he may have wanted martyrdom, but whether he was inspired by “Saint Elliot” or not is hard to say.

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