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Were you tricked into wanking over a picture of Gordon Ramsey’s forehead? This dude’s got your back

To be fair, Gordon Ramsey’s forehead is sexy af

By David Futrelle

So our old buddy @TakedownMRAs posted an amazing Tweet last night documenting what is either a new low or a new high — I can’t decide — in the fight of brave men against the evil gynocracy.

In this case the evil gynocracy was represented by a women who responded to a request for a nude pic by sending the pic-requester a pic of an angry chef’s forehead instead. What followed may surprise you. Or maybe not; nothing is shocking any more.

someone asked me for a nude so i sent them a really zoomed in picture of gordon ramsay’s forehead wrinkles and said it was my cleavage and then they sent a wanking video and now i’m in tears some guy just wanked over gordon ramsay’s forehead

I wish I could give you a link to the original discussion but, alas, both of these accounts have vanished — though several accounts have, er, borrowed Em’s original post and are reposting it as their own funny story.

Did I mention that you all should be following @TakedownMRAs? Because you should.

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Jarred H
2 years ago

“Yeah, it’s rude that he asked you for nudes, except he’s really complimenting you! So you were the rude one for toying with his emotions!”

My money says it’s extremely likely that “John” likes to ask random women for nudes himself.

personalpest
personalpest
2 years ago

How could anyone possibly take that pic for anything but someone’s forehead? Oh wait, MRAs. Never mind.

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
2 years ago

Did I mention that you all should be following @TakedownMRAs? Because you should.

Yeah, I used to follow TakedownMRAs until he force unfollowed me. About 5 times. Always re-followed, (giving him the benefit of the doubt because, well, Twitter is weird at times) and got the hint after being force-unfollowed for the 5th time.

And then never answered my question as to why.

He was the second person I followed, after you.

Good honest way to treat fans and allies? Not in my book. But hey, YMMV.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
2 years ago

How does one mistake cleavage for forehead?

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
2 years ago

Em is still there, but she changed her @ and her tweets are protected

John Lakeshow is gone.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
2 years ago

Why is it that people named John are always the most boring, long-winded contrarians ?

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
2 years ago

Sinkable John,

Well, not all of them. 😚

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
2 years ago

I saw an epic take down of a dick pic once. The woman’s answer do the dick pic message:

‘Hmm. This looks weird. Are you sure this is normal? Have you shown this to a doctor? I really would, if I were you!’

That whole ‘asking for nudes is a compliment’ thing is about as convincing as the ‘catcalling is a compliment’ thing.

Namely not at all.

I’ve had men on public transport undress me with their eyes since I was 13. Men started hitting on my back then as well. They just wanted to get off and weren’t interested in me as a person. And usually triple my age and upward.

These days I’m fat, so I’m mostly invisible to men. They keep leering at my boobs.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, FemiNest Collective agent, Hell Toupee keeper, & Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, FemiNest Collective agent, Hell Toupee keeper, & Intergalactic Meanie
2 years ago

So in addition to not being able to see the real world as it really is (or at least as well as most people can see it, anyway), these guys really can’t tell the difference between a forehead and cleavage? What cleavages do these guys normally look at, ASSuming that the original unnamed guy wasn’t pulling the OP’s leg about masturbating to that pic?

And OT, this came over my Yahoo feed a while ago. Evidently the Democratic Party is suing the Russian government, U.S. President Donald Trump’s campaign and WikiLeaks over their interference in the 2016 elections.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/democratic-party-sues-russia-trump-campaign-allegedly-disrupting-152040359.html

Not sure how far this can go, or even if it’s a good idea at this point, but there it is.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

@Redsilkphoenix

Years back, the Sun ran a bunch of cleavage shots. Since the Sun is very well known for page three (a usually very fetching topless woman) there was no doubt at all that at least some people had a wank over these pics.
The following day the paper ‘fessed up – all the pics were of builder’s arsecracks. 😛

Jo
Jo
2 years ago

I’m assuming that if you zoom in on a single wrinkle and rotate it 90°, it looks vaguely like cleavage?

Also, according to someone in the replies, John read some of the responses, admitted he was wrong, apologized and then deleted his Twitter account out of embarrassment. So file under clueless rather than malicious in this case, I guess…

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

First of all, how is that toying with emotions? Are we to assume the nude pic asker had deep emotional feelings for Ems?

Second of all, technically, it was a real nude pic because it was a pic of Ramsey’s naked forehead.

Redsilkphoenix,

From what I can gather, the lawsuit is extra insurance in case Trump fires Rosenstein and hires someone who will fire Mueller. Notice this was done days after Mitch McChinless killed the bill to protect Mueller and the investigation and after Trump said he’s considering trying to fire his way out of being investigated. The civil suit is entirely separate from the Mueller probe but is going after the same thing. This way, if the investigation does get killed, it will go on in civil court. This was probably a major factor in why the Cohen investigation was handed off too.

In other words, I think the suit is a good idea.

F is for Fro
F is for Fro
2 years ago

…Ummm. Yeah, that’s not cleavage. Definitely forehead.

This reminded me of a friend who wanted to buy a Lancer EVO, but couldn’t spot one in a hypothetical police lineup.

…He ended up not liking the EVO.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
2 years ago

comment image?itemid=4674808
That woman is so funny, I can not believe anyone would think that’s a cleavage and equate that to “playing with someone’s emotions” what narcissistic and weak wankers.

Hey ladies if a guy sends you unwanted dick pics then send some back.

And for the guys who is reading this if you see a guy cat cal- I mean ‘complimenting’ a woman then do the same to him. And if he gets uncomfortable tell him to smile.

After all they are just compliments.

Knitting cat lady
That’s really disgusting. I’m sorry you went through that.

Speaking of catcalling, I know this is a little old and I’m not sure if anyone posted this already.
https://www.thelocal.fr/20180124/france-could-bring-in-90-fine-for-men-caught-committing-sexist-outrage-on-the-street
I wish this law is everywhere in the world.

idli sambar revolution
idli sambar revolution
2 years ago

If this were to become a viral meme anytime a guy anywhere asks for pix that would be epic brah!

Gijoel
Gijoel
2 years ago

Here are some of my dicks pics

Bina
2 years ago

Heh…this exchange made Bye Felipe!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BhzU3FhAine/?hl=en&taken-by=byefelipe

(I went there looking for the one where a guy demanded pix of a woman’s pussy, so she sent him one complete with her fingers…petting a very lovely tabby kitty. He didn’t get the joke, natch.)

Bina
2 years ago

Also, Dick Van Dyke is my favorite Dick of all.

Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

I don’t even really understand what the humor is behind the “haha, you masturbated to something but you thought it was something else!” thing.

The (gross and rude) guy didn’t masturbate to Gordon Ramsey’s forehead, he masturbated to the thought of a woman’s breasts (a specific woman who he chose to harass and send her an unsolicited wanking video). The photo is just a visualization aid.

Sort of like reading erotica or something. It wouldn’t make much sense to go “Haha, you masturbated to words on a page! Someone made all those up, you know, they aren’t even real!” I mean, yeah, they’re not wrong, but the point isn’t the words themselves, it’s the thoughts/fantasies that the words evoke.

Don’t get me wromg, I’m glad that the boundary-crossing jerkoff is getting mocked, but I’m just kind of baffled about what’s particularly funny about it.

flexitarian haruspex
flexitarian haruspex
2 years ago

Don’t get me wromg, I’m glad that the boundary-crossing jerkoff is getting mocked, but I’m just kind of baffled about what’s particularly funny about it.

This is how I feel about The Big Bang Theory… and pretty much all sitcoms ever. :/

Dvärghundspossen
Dvärghundspossen
2 years ago

@Catalpa: Since the internet is shock full of cleavages anyway and thoughts can be found free in your head, I think the whole point of asking a specific woman for nude pics is that you want her to bend to your whims and obey you. That’s part of what he was wanking to. And then he actually didn’t.

Dvärghundspossen
Dvärghundspossen
2 years ago

Also, adding: I think the tricked dudes see it this way too. They get upset and feel cheated when they realize they wanked to the wrong thing. If they were just like *shrug* “whatever, I had a good wank to a good fantasy”, it wouldn’t be funny.

EJ (The Other One)
2 years ago

Dvärghundspossen:

I think the tricked dudes see it this way too. They get upset and feel cheated when they realize they wanked to the wrong thing.

I’d agree with that reading. I think there’s also an aspect of what might almost be called sympathetic magic there: by masturbating over a depiction of a person, they somehow now feel as if they have some ownership over the actual person.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

And then there’s the homophobia. Don’t forget, these types tend to think that “teh gays” is somehow contagious. They might genuinely fear that such an event could be the “gateway drug” to becoming something they fear and hate …

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

They know 150 different ways to spot a virgin, but don’t even know what cleavage looks like?

This is a good example of what many women find frustrating about online dating. So many men act interested, but don’t even read profiles, don’t bother to listen, treat women as a set of interchangeable body parts, and spam them with crude, sexist messages. Women can respond with any nonsense (like the horse ebooks OKC account) and these dudes just plow on ahead with their quest to get laid. There’s no attempt at conversation, just “show me your tits”. In fact, conversation is seen as a tedious obstacle to sex. It’s so dehumanizing.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

Also, Dick Van Dyke is my favorite Dick of all.

I wasn’t a fan, or rather I had no opinion on Van Dyke until he recently not only turned out to still be alive, but officially apologized for his accent in Mary Poppins. Apparently no one told him he was doing it wrong, so he figured he must have got Cockney perfectly right.

Wetherby
Wetherby
2 years ago

To those pointing out (reasonably) that it’s obvious that the picture that David’s used to illustrate his post is of a forehead, I saw the original picture and it consisted of a single crease in that forehead massively zoomed in before being turned 90˚.

I have to say that even despite these adjustments I found its erotic allure somewhat elusive, not least because it was heavily pixellated thanks to the extreme magnification and pretty much out of focus – but I daresay it takes all sorts.

QuantumInc
QuantumInc
2 years ago

The whole asking for nudes & handing out dic pics phenomena baffles me; at least how it become normal male behavior. However it is clear that most of the people doing it are not just trying to harass women. I think most of the guys do it precisely because it is seen as the normal thing for a guy to do. They have no idea what really works so they just copy other men, specifically the most visible and loudest men. There are also a lot of dudes who only chase women in order to fit in with other men in the first place.

Dvärghundspossen
Dvärghundspossen
2 years ago

IDK, if this is seen as normal male behaviour or not must really depend on the kind of company you keep. I have male friends who are on Tinder and go on dates, and none of them behave like that.

Cindy
Cindy
2 years ago

That dude can’t have seen a pair of breasts before in his life, lol.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

@QuantumInc

However it is clear that most of the people doing it are not just trying to harass women. I think most of the guys do it precisely because it is seen as the normal thing for a guy to do. They have no idea what really works so they just copy other men, specifically the most visible and loudest men. There are also a lot of dudes who only chase women in order to fit in with other men in the first place.

I don’t think that’s clear at all. Have you been on dating sites as a woman? Back when I had profiles on multiple dating sites it was very clear to me as a woman that there was a very big difference between the guys who went straight to asking for nudes, describing sex acts, demanding sex acts, sending dick pics, etc. and everyone else: The former group were all bent on violating boundaries and controlling women. It was obvious from their behaviors, from their descriptions in their profiles, and from their responses to questions on the questionnaires.

Paradoxical Intention: Resident Cheeseburger Slut

My favorite game to play with dudes who ask for nudes is to send them things that are also called by the thing they want to see, feigning ignorance the whole time.

For instance:

– “Nudes” is a nude shade makeup pallete

– “breasts” is chicken breasts.

– “Tits”/”Boobies” are the birds

– “Pussy” is the cat

And so on and so on until he gets bored or pissy.

And if someone wants to “wha wha” at me because this dude’s precious fee-fees got hurt because he didn’t get the picture he was after, then I’d ask them why my feelings, as a person who got an unsolicited message begging for nudes, don’t seem to fucking matter to them in the slightest.

Paradoxical Intention: Resident Cheeseburger Slut

QuantumInc | April 21, 2018 at 11:17 am
However it is clear that most of the people doing it are not just trying to harass women.

“Not trying to” and “actually are” are two different things. I could “not try” to step on your foot, then “actually” step on your foot. Either way, I stepped on your foot, and hurt you. I could ramble about how it wasn’t my “intention” to hurt you, but I still did, and as an emotionally mature person, I would like to think that other people could recognize that.

Intention isn’t magic.

I think most of the guys do it precisely because it is seen as the normal thing for a guy to do.

Except it’s not, as your yourself admit.

It’s not normal, and plenty of dudes can not think with their giblets long enough to engage in conversation with someone they fancy without bringing their equipment into it.

(And I daresay that being online has a lot to do with it. If they said this shit to a woman in meatspace, they very well could get slapped or mocked.)

And when women tell them off, or they get some other negative consequence of doing this behavior, they still fucking do it and ignore the negative feedback. They don’t care about the negative feedback, they just want to do what they want to do.

And as my mother would say: “If everyone else jumped off of a bridge, would you do it too?”

They have no idea what really works so they just copy other men, specifically the most visible and loudest men.

Except they can choose their own experiences online and off. The “most visible and loudest men” only exist if they choose to see them. There are plenty of “visible and loud” people who decry this bullshit. The men in question are just choosing to ignore them or remain ignorant of them.

There are also a lot of dudes who only chase women in order to fit in with other men in the first place.

Sure, but again: “If other men jumped off a bridge, would you do it?”

The Real Cie
2 years ago

I once saw where a woman responded to an unsolicited dick pic by sending the guy a whole bunch of dick pics that she found on the internet. When he got upset about it, she said “I’m just trying to be friendly. Don’t you want to be friends?”

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

Oh, please let someone respond to a nudes request with this next.

https://twitter.com/trumpneckvagina/status/986440603327254528?s=20

Clark_Westfeild
Clark_Westfeild
2 years ago

Honestly the only problem I can see with this is that the guy might keep hassling her for “nudes”.

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

“You gotta let him down easy! Men’s emotions are very fragile things! They could fly off the handle at any moment and you’d be to blame!”

I’ve noticed that people seem to have a problem wrapping their head around subtext. If John were confronted with the aforementioned subtext of what he just said, he’d probably get into the “intent” thing as Paradoxical Intention just illustrated.

Subtext matters. Often more than the plain text. Look no further than Jordan Peterson’s bullshit about makeup in the workplace. The subtext speaks louder than the text, but it didn’t get addressed by the Vice interviewer.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
2 years ago

it’s also pretty ridiculous to toy with their emotions like this

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Skiriki
Skiriki
2 years ago

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