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Throbbing pinkies, misplaced nipples, and breasts that wave: Signs she’s not a virgin?

Saggy ears: Another sign she might have done the sex thing

By David Futrelle

Fellas! How often do you find yourself wondering if the pretty lady you have  a crush on is the pure, untouched virgin you deserve? The “unbroken hymen” thing is bullshit, unfortunately (and that’s assuming she’s one of those ladies who has a vagina). And besides, you’d probably have to buy her an expensive dinner before she’d even let you have access to that whole area down there.

But you’re in luck! There are several foolproof ways to tell if she’s a virgin without having to get into her pants! A helpful video titled “10 Signs Of Women Who Are Not Virgin (They Can’t Lie To You Anymore)” details, well, ten signs that women aren’t virgins, so they can’t lie to you any more, all helpfully explained by a robot voice and illustrated with stock footage.

Apparently “the character of a virgin woman can be known by observing her physical appearance,” because sex literally alters a woman’s body, from her ears to her back to her boobs And not in a good way!

You can watch the entire video below (it’s only six minutes long) but here are a few of the key findings:

THE NOSE:

“The tip of the nose of a woman who is not a virgin will look faded or pale red. The virgin woman, the tip of her nose would look red. There is no scientific explanation about it yet but most likely it is based on empirical observations from the public.”

THE BACK

“Women’s backs will change because of two things — the influence of hormones and because of the touch of men. Women who have had sex will have an enlarged back. … her back will look wide and big and will be seen clearly as she walks. …

“During sex the back of the women will become erect and after completion of the back will loose in fall. The more frequent sex will make the back more slack.”

THE EARS

“Generally, women who are not virgins during sex will receive stimulation from the man in [their] ears by kissing … [This] will make the ears become more saggy and red.”

THE FOREHEAD

“The virgin’s forehead will look slippery while women [who] are not virgin will look wrinkled and streaked like an old man’s forehead.”

THE BOOBSTERS

“Usually the breasts that have been touched by a man will loosen [and] when [she] is running will be seen waving.

“Meanwhile the breasts of women who have never had sex will remain stable and not to wave despite being run.” 

THE NIPS

“Women who have touched a man, usually [their] nipples will be longer and slightly out of place. Breasts that have been on a man’s suction, usually [the] nipples will become more bruised.”

THE EYES

“[W]omen who are no longer virgins will be visible from the outside especially by those who have much experience on this subject.

“If we look at the eyes of a woman who is not a virgin anymore the bottom of her eyes there are a few folds and look bruised. …

“The virgin girl her eyes will look radiant and there are no black marks, lines or bruises.”

THE CHEEKS

“The cheeks of women who had sex did not look radiant. … A virgin girl has a sweaty cheek even in a cold place.”

PINKIE FINGERS

“If the little finger of a woman is held tightly and she is not aroused, chances are she is not a virgin. But if she feels a little bit aroused … and there is a slight throbbing pain then chances are [she’s] still a virgin.”

BELLIES

“Women who have had sex will have a swollen abdomen and a little distended. During intercourse women will use abdominal muscles that cause the stomach to expand, and after the sexual activity is complete the stomach will be slightly distended.”

LIPS

“Lips of women who have never kissed a man with lust will look reddish … The woman who has ever kissed [her] lips by the man will look cracked … and when laughing [her] lips will look bigger.”

So now you know what to look for, fellas! Good luck in your virgin hunt!

H/T — r/badwomensanatomy

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Lori
2 years ago

Does anyone else find themselves humming Rudolph the Red-Nosed Virgin?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ redsilkphoenix

I think technically it’s the olives that are virgin rather than the oil itself; it’s something to do with how many times they go through the press to squeeze the oil out.

Speaking of virgins, here’s a story I like.

The Virgin Islands are named after what happened to Saint Ursula. As any proud Cornish person will tell you, she was a Cornish princess who went to Europe to marry some King. Before the marriage she went on a tour with her eleven thousand handmaidens. Now that’s what I call a hen do. Unfortunately they got massacred by Huns.

Now, like most Cornish tales, it’s a load of bollocks. The real Ursula appears to have been an eight year old girl, and the 11,000 virgins bit was monks reading Is and Xs in a name as numbers and mixing up the Latin for ‘thousand’ and ‘soldier’.

The more likely tale that this is based on has a sort of feminist slant. Apparently some queen went over to Europe to marry a reluctant suitor and took a bunch of soldiers with her to persuade him to change his mind.

Dalillama
Dalillama
2 years ago

While we’re on the subject of sports bras…are those considered as underwear or overwear? Like, if I walked out the door wearing just that as my shirt, would I be arrested for indecent exposure?

Only if you live somewhere ridiculously prudish. They’re common jogging/bicycling wear around here, certainly. Granted, there’s no law here that says you have to wear anything at all, so things may vary elsewhere.

DeimosMasque
DeimosMasque
2 years ago

The two places I’ve lived. New York State and Florida its considered outerwear.

Little-known factoid. In Florida nudity is legal as long as nothing sexual is occurring

Shadowplay
2 years ago

I think technically it’s the olives that are virgin rather than the oil itself

Extra Virgin: cold pressed, light pressure.
Virgin: cold pressed, high pressure.
Normal olive oil: steam pressed, very high pressure.

Used to take the in-laws harvest to the co-op for pressing every year.
And I can almost guarantee you’ve never had pure olive oil.

Z&T
Z&T
2 years ago

I found some really bad word salad! It’s on the r / you know what color pill sub reddit, is marked “science” (LOL) and is titled something like….

I probably shouldn’t put a link.

Can I put the title of it?

C & P link?

Let me know, this is some seriously WTF??? stuff.

(A)utonomist Escapist
(A)utonomist Escapist
2 years ago

@Z&T: Title should be ok, right? And probably hilarious and revealing about the lack of coherent thought within to boot!

OT: That’s a despicable and hilariously wrong video. I’ve noticed that in some corners of the meme-verse, Indonesian users seem to be quite vocal on topics concerning girls’ and womens’ behaviour and what is acceptable.

The word-salad-y quality would seem to be a result of a combination of factors, namely Google-translate and direct translation of wording and phrases in their respective languages. Of course, most non-english-speakers do these things on the english-dominated parts of the internet, I can spot fellow Scandinavians in online-forums quite surely based on this kind of thing. Oh, and usernames, dead give-away sometimes 😀 (you know who you are 😉 )

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Go ahead and link. Now I can’t not know. If it’s something that might be upsetting, just put a content note in your post.

Z&T
Z&T
2 years ago

OK, here ya go…..

Yes, a CW, there are some disturbing things, some violence included, worth a look anyway for this scholar’s theorizing as to what may cause migraines. It’s overall just ridiculous.

I decided to try a “tiny url” –

https://tinyurl.com/y9ujh3wl

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I begin, understand than I have tried my very best to understand females.

Off to a very good start.

The image that woman wants for herself? Well, for many, it’s a picture of themselves in a bathroom mirror.

Huh? Is this a really pretentious way of saying that women like to take bathroom selfies?

a pretty girl goes through “yea, I was just doing my own thing, and then all of a sudden, guys started paying attention to me.” While as soon as any boy goes through puberty, he has to build muscle, push through daily encounters with failure, and develop a personality that does not depend on the validation of others. And that takes time. A lot of time. So much time that a woman does not have because of her consistently declining physical features that affect her
fertility, but more importantly, her ability to retain the attention of a suitable mate that can accompany her throughout her life without the risk of becoming a single-mother due to the differences between males and females in terms of parental investment.

So much of manosphere theory really does depend on their refusal to acknowledge that non “pretty” girls and women exist, doesn’t it? Also the refusal to acknowledge that most women have interests and priorities besides finding a provider.

And for woman to want man to be in her image, is the collapse of society as we see today, with statistics that show lower marriage rates that consistently decline each year.

Too lazy to search for the stats, but I’m pretty sure that’s not true. As in, the marriage rate is lower than it used to be decades ago, but it’s not going down by a large percentage every single year or anything.

A woman with a high salary will never settle for a man that is deemed lesser to her, and so she seeks an already low pool of suitable mates.

Sigh. Yes, women of high socioeconomic status tend to partner with men of similar ses. That has always been true though. Similarly, men have always sought partners in their ses group too. The only difference is that nowadays high ses women are likely to have paid careers rather than being a socialite or managing a large estate. Seriously, why do these dudes always pretend that only women have ever sought to partner with men of their ses or higher?

And what about the ugly woman? Well, a lot of men don’t even look at them because unfortunately, she cannot control whether or not she is perceived as ugly since this is decision completely dependent upon men to deem this to be true. One may argue that woman does not need man, but that is exactly the kind of thinking that leads to a child which comes to expect a family to be devoid of wholesomeness because of an incomplete example of parental guidance. What will happen to that child? What would have happened to me if I did not have my own father in my life?

Whoa! I stand corrected. He does realize “ugly” women exist! First of all, it’s actually pretty ridiculous to assume that men’s boners are the only thing dictating beauty standards. Second of all, women who aren’t conventionally attractive get married and have kids all the fucking time. This is true now. It was true in the past. Whatever he’s trying to blame feminism for, he needs to stop.

And that is what brings me to my final point, which is that the dynamic of coding is very similar to that of war. It is about control. To gain control is to take risks of losing control. To lose control is to risk life itself. But for one to lose control, another must gain it. And if the one who gains control is not capable of maintaining prosperity and resolving conflicts before they happen, then you get a South Korean female president who listens to a “spiritual medium” that pretended to be the host of her dead mother for guidance on how to lead an entire nation that identifies itself as a global superpower. This happened in our lifetime, quite recently actually.

And there it is. Misogynist STEM guys who have never gone anywhere near a war and will never ever fight in one want to be seen as warriors and want the credit for past male warriors. How totally original!

Oh, and male leaders fancy themselves guided by supernatural power all the damn time. If Omarosa was telling the truth, one of them (Pence) is in the White House right now. Then there’s the little fact that monarchy, which tends to be very patriarchal is entirely based on kings being their by the will of God/s. And uh, hasn’t he ever heard of that obscure little powerless organization called the Roman Catholic Church?

Shadowplay
2 years ago

Coding is similar to war? Only in the hygiene department.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

Oh! I was so confused what coding meant in this context. And I’m a woman software developer.

DexX
2 years ago

I have read a lot of hilariously misguided MRA garbage on this site, but I think this actually takes the #1 spot for me. What kind of person could even consider this to be plausible, let alone believe in it so deeply they’re be willing to go on record about it publicly?

Bina
2 years ago

“The virgin’s forehead will look slippery while women [who] are not virgin will look wrinkled and streaked like an old man’s forehead.”

Oh, wait till this innocent rube hears what Botox will do to a forehead.

Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
2 years ago

All I have to say on this:

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BACKS ARE NOT PENISES THEY HAVE NO ERECTILE TISSUE CAN YOU NOT EVEN BIOLOGY RIGHT

Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

I kind of assumed he meant ‘erect’ as in ‘standing erect’ i.e. standing up straight and not ‘erect’ as in ‘engorged with blood’. So having sex causes the spine to go rigid and because of over-use, it means it doesn’t work so well any more and non-virgins get all slouchy?

Yeah, it doesn’t make a single lick of sense by my reckoning either.

Pie
Pie
2 years ago

@Z&T

I decided to try a “tiny url” –

https://tinyurl.com/y9ujh3wl

Speaking only for myself, I’d very much prefer it if URL shorteners were only used on space-constrained things like Twitter. My number 1 problem with them is that I can’t see what I’m visiting before I visit it (which is a good way to make people go to a page they might not otherwise wasn’t too).

There are other things to, like the fact that you’re at the mercy of the link shorteners who might break or silently change your link at any time (and your link might be around for quite a while!) and without any sort of hint as to where the link used to go it well be impossible to search for it ever again. There’s also the fact that they are a useful tool for tracking users and clicks for ad-serving or other things surveillance capitalism might like, and very few of those things are good for auto people.

But anyway, rant over 🙂

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
2 years ago

Do these horrible things also happen to a woman who has her first sexual experience after she is married?

Or is the evil of the male body neutralized by the sacrament of marriage?

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

Erm, “auto people”?

occasional reader
occasional reader
2 years ago

> WWTH
In France, we had François Mitterand (president for 14 years), who was consulting an astrolog every now and then (ok, it as been proved he was not consulting her to only listen about his future. He was also reading the map of her stars…). But he was a man, so those dudes probably do not care…

Dalillama
Dalillama
2 years ago

Ol Ronnie Raygun had an astrologer too.

Pie
Pie
2 years ago

@Surplus to requirements

Erm, “auto people”?

Huh, that was probable supposed to be “actual people”. I don’t use this tablet often enough to keep my eyes open for autocorrect surprises 🙁

KatieKitten420
KatieKitten420
2 years ago

Thanks so much for all the advice everybody. It means a lot. But we have fixed things a decent amount. Apparently the thing she was most upset about was not the sex it was that Jake took her day. Thursday is our special day. She and honestly me too have made a point of it. But he was only going to be in the city for 4 days. I’d thought a reasonable adult(which I definitely am not always, so I can cut her some slack. I can be incredibly immature.)would realize I would want to spend as much time with him as possible and her Thursday just happened to fall into those days(he needed a day to see his parents but it couldn’t be Thursday) But now that I understand how important Thursday is to her we’ve managed to have reasonable dialogue.

I don’t want to break up with her unless it becomes absolutely necessary. I guess what I’m going to do is see what happens when Jake gets back in a few months. If it happens again it’s not a fluke, it wasn’t because it was Thursday it’s the sex and maybe the proximity. But if everything’s cool then we’ll just just keep on keepin on.

Because 1, I really do like her more than I have liked anybody in almost a decade except for Jake. 2(and yes I know this next bit about her ex does not give me any obligations)I’m actually her first girlfriend. She’s 39 and her last relationship was for 12 years with an incredibly psychologically emotionally and verbally abusive guy(she says he only hit her twice but I don’t think I believe that.) They have one kid, he’s 6, so she still has to interact with him periodically and she is literally terrified of him.

Maybe that could just come from the other things but my strong impression is he was physically abusive and she’s too embarrassed to admit it. So it makes me really want to be good to her and make her happy and as people have said, if I do end it on this note she will probably be very unhappy and hostile and I really don’t want that especially the unhappy part. If she would just hate me and be happy I could live with that it wouldn’t be lovely but I could live with it. If I made her horribly miserable again, I would just feel so awful.

So I think since she’s being reasonable at least mostly (I mean I think the Thursday thing is silly and a bit much but if it really meant that much to her now I know and I can accept it.) I have weird quirks. From anyone at all I’m dating every 48 hours I need some sort of check in. Text, call, Facebook message, anything at all that says “hey what’s up I’m alive” essentially.

I’m incredibly anxious and paranoid and I know it’s utterly ridiculous to think that because I haven’t heard from someone in 2 days it’s theoretically possible that they’re dead but after 48 hours I start worrying and after 72 hours I really start getting panicky. I think most people would say that’s pretty unreasonable. If she can accept that and a few other quirks from me, I can accept Thursday is her be all end all special day and I must see her.

As always this is insane wall of text and I apologize for making people read it but my very last question is do I sound reasonable or naive? Do I sound like I’m making excuses for her or something like that? Cuz I genuinely believe that was the problem I can live with it. But I’m really bad at telling if people are being disingenuous to me that sounds fine does it sound weird to anyone or inconsistent or anything strange? Cuz right now things are pretty much resolved. I told Jake when he comes on Thursdays I just won’t be able to see him at least I’ll have to spend like 6 or 8 or whatever many hours she desires with her, and he’s fine with that.

So what do y’all think? Still no this is not going to work I’m being silly? Or yeah, she was excessive at the time but we can work it out? I’m honestly really bad with stuff like this so I’d appreciate other opinions.

People who remember when I very first started posting might remember I would try to engage any troll ish person that seemed even somewhat in good faith. I felt maybe I can convince them maybe I can help them and I always feel that way and a lot of the time people with more, I don’t know the exact word I’m looking for, pragmatism, realism, have to tell me I’m wasting my time. Okay it’s time for Katie to go to sleep. I hope everyone has a lovely day.

Natasha Whilk
Natasha Whilk
2 years ago

Delurking (and I expect only one person here will even remember me), I recommend “Virgin” by Hanne Blank to anyone who wants a scholarly history of the concept.

@Katiekitten: you have already gotten lots of good advice, and I second especially the ones about poly working well for some and not for others. As to your recent post,

1. It’s good to have that clarification re: special day. To me that makes sense and is not necessarily disingenuous to be hopeful.

2. Watch out for that “I just want to make her happy” impulse! Of course you want to help her heal from the abusive relationship. But ultimately you can’t make another person be happy, and you can’t be both her therapist and her girlfriend. And many people who have been through emotional and/or physical violence do need something more (i.e. therapy) to help them heal; even a good relationship is unlikely to accomplish what needs to be done.

3. I hope you are finding some sort of support for your own anxiety. “After 48 hours I wonder if they’re dead” sounds terribly strenuous, and (please forgive me if presumptuous) I really would recommend finding someone to help you moderate it.

Best wishes to all.

3.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

@KatieKitten

Talking is always good. 🙂 Do hope it works out for you three.

Just remember – you are allowed to enjoy peace too.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

If someone goes a long time without contacting me, I’m much more inclined to wonder if they’ve forgotten about me or are mad at me than if they’re dead …

Faerie Bard
Faerie Bard
2 years ago

There are words there, and things that resemble sentences, but not a single one that resembles anything factual or logical. A (cis)woman’s anatomy does not work how he thinks it works. I want to say troll, but it is so very hard to tell these days.

Mooncustafer
Mooncustafer
2 years ago

@ Dalillama

Allow me to gesture in the direction of Canadian PM William Lyon MacKenzie King.

DawnPurityseeker
DawnPurityseeker
2 years ago

@KatieKitten420

Keep in mind that we’re not there, so I would take all our suggestions with a certain amount of salt. But yeah, I’ve had “date nights” in my relationships, and yeah I would have been hurt if my partner spent it with someone else, especially if it was without talking to me about it first. I tried to make sure that if something came up on a “date night” that I made other arrangements with my partners first, and I guess that I expect the same from my partners.

But that’s me, so /salt. 🙂

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

@KatieKitten420
That sounds reasonable to me. Now that you know it means so much to her, you can make sure to make it your special day together if this comes up in the future or maybe if you can’t see her on a given thursday give her an over-the-top special day on another day to make it up (with plenty of advance communication about it, of course!). I was in a mostly verbally abusive relationship for 12 years, too, and stomping all over what’s supposed to be a special day and then acting like I’m unreasonable for being hurt is something he would do. It took some time to trust my husband because of stuff like that, so it may take your girlfriend some time to trust you. But just make sure she understands that you do care and you do want her to be happy and I’m sure she’ll start to relax and might even become more flexible on things like this (but possibly not; we’re all different).

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
2 years ago

<3 That's really tough, KatieKitten. I'm not in a poly relationship, so my advice isn't worth much here I think. Just try to act in love. That doesn't mean sacrificing for her, necessarily. It might just not work. But that's up to her, really, at this point. If she wants to be in that sort of a relationship or not.

Just make sure she knows that your feelings for her are irrespective of what your Official Relationship Status are, and let her know that you'll be patient with her and will be there for her. Otherwise I'm not sure what else you can do about it.

KatieKitten420
KatieKitten420
2 years ago

Thank you so much everyone. I just wanted to make sure her reasoning did not sound disingenuous to someone who wasn’t me. I thought it sounded perfectly reasonable and I’m perfectly happy to have Thursday be very special if that pleases her. That’s great, we have a great time on Thursday. I just wanted to be sure that I wasn’t being naive and falling for something that to someone with more experience and I guess wisdom would sound like bullshit. So we will just keep on like we were.

I still think the big test will be when Jake gets back again if everything goes well I’ll be thrilled if everything even goes adequately I’ll be totally content. If everything goes horribly again then I’ll have to assume it’s not a fluke and things just probably aren’t going to work out.

That will mean in my opinion the problem is Jake. If she comes up with like some other really huge reason she’s upset and oh no it’s not Jake or sex but it’s really important that’s not Thursday that will be suspicious to me to say the least.

Thank you so much for all your advice everyone. I truly appreciate having a place I can ask questions of a group of people who are open-minded intelligent kind and a bunch of other awesome things. especially because there are a lot of people from a lot of different backgrounds in every way, race, gender class, sexuality, country/region with all sorts of beliefs so if there probably is at least some wisdom in the advice. And when everyone here is agreed on most aspects, it’s(in my experience)almost definitely wise advice.

I’m about to head home on the subway(still intermittently looking and applying and hoping for an average job, but it’s not happening) but paper is paper and I definitely made a bit of a fortune tonight. I don’t mean to be racist or tactless and I’m sorry if this comes off that way. I believe fair exchange is no robbery so I have no problems making obscene profit from rich people who have no idea what s*** cost realistically.

But I’ve noticed now and previously that rich and upper middle class POC(meaning black and Latino in this case) will know about prices better and not be ecstatic(or even willing)to pay essentially 3- 400% markups on the amount I paid. White people take it and are thrilled, Black people and Latinos will just be like nah I’ll go elsewhere if I mention prices like that. Twice as much or maybeveven a bit more sure, they know I need profit and its a risk for me. But not the prices I use for the NYU trust fund brats for example.

Is that just because of the obvious cultural reasons or does anyone think there’s more to it than I see. I just can’t understand why someone will be willing to pay 400 percent of what something cost ever, and I’m half-white was raised more by my white mother and definitely have upper middle class privilege. Any thoughts? I’m just curious.

Have a lovely night everybody and a lovely day after that. Again, I know I repeat myself but thank everybody for reading my walls of text I don’t know why I can’t help myself.🤔😝

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

Hi Katiekitten

Funnily enough we’ve just been having a related conversation covering similar grounds; although in that case about a friend who basically sells tap water to well off people for thousands of percent profit. There’s an interesting discussion about commerce to be had there; but it’s a fundamental principle of capitalism that you “charge what the market will bear”.

But this

Is that just because of the obvious cultural reasons or does anyone think there’s more to it than I see.

There are two elements at play here. There’s ignorance as to prices, and indifference to prices.

Now I’m not especially familiar with the US drug scene, but over here my two careers have been music biz, and legal. So I’ve seen things from both the consumer view and the supply chain. There’s similar factors, although here it’s more class than race based. Over charging rich kids is a well established practice.

Now no-one wants a twenty thousand word dissertation from me on the UK drug scene. But some factors to consider are, what service are you providing beyond the drugs themselves?

For a lot of folks they’re happy to pay the extra for both the convenience and the avoidance of risk. You provide a level of insulation from risk of encounters with law enforcement; an area where your white clients may be well out of their comfort zone, or to be more accurate their ‘circle of competence’. Your black and Hispanic clients, however well off they are, have a different relationship with , and attitude towards, the legal authorities. They’re more at risk generally and their encounters are going to be less amiable. So the insulation effect is less valuable to them.

To over simplify, your white clients get better treatment from the police than your non white clients generally in life, so they have more to lose. Hence they’ll pay more to keep that.

Dalillama
Dalillama
2 years ago

@Katiekitten
Previous advice rescinded; that’s a whole different kettle of fish, nthing others.

Podkayne Lives
Podkayne Lives
2 years ago

And I can almost guarantee you’ve never had pure olive oil.

I used to take Hebrew lessons from an Israeli lady whose husband had friends who were Palestinian olive growers. They would give him tons of olive oil in random containers–soda bottles and stuff. It was AMAZING. Made with an old-style press, out back of the house.