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empathy deficit incel men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny self-hatred

Incel dating tip: Make women hate themselves by asking them out

That monster … likes me! Could I be a monster too?

By David Futrelle

Guys who define themselves as “involuntarily celibate” spend rather a lot of their time trying to figure out how to make women as miserable as they are.

And so you find incels regularly advising their celibate colleagues to pointedly ignore all the attractive women in their vicinity. “If u even ACKNOWLEDGE femoids in public ur a bluepilled cuck,” one commenter on Incels.me recently declared. “Dont give them even the slightest validation, ignore them like nature intended us to.”

Most of his fellow incels agreed. “Yup,” wrote one. “Hurts their ego if nobody looks at them.”

“Giving females attention only benefits them, and not you, so I don’t see why you should,” another agreed.

But one commenter had what he thought was a better idea: Don’t ignore these women. Ask them out! They won’t say yes, obviously. but they might start to worry that they’re as ugly as you are! 

Getlooksordie Recruit - Feb 12, 2018#18 Wrong  As an unattractive guy the greatest insult you can give to a woman is by approaching her. A good pickup line is "I like you. Since we´re in the same league I think it could really work out between us."  After she tells you to fuck off she´ll immediately run to the bathroom to fix herself thinking "why is that ugly guy approaching me? Am I ugly, too???"  Had this exact same thing happen to me IRL so I know.

CHECKMATE, FEMOIDS!

Incel is weaponized self-hatred.

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Tovius
Tovius
2 years ago

I was hoping misogynistguy would at least wait until page 2 before stinking up the place. Oh well, I suppose this was inevitable.

I would like to second the call for the banhammer.

cornychips
cornychips
2 years ago

Like if I was trying to be part of a community and 90% of the commentariat disliked me and told me to leave, then I would fucking leave. Only a TROLL would stay.

The way he pretends we dont like him and push him away is creepy boundary pushing shit.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Yeah, declaring that a violation of your stated boundary is not a boundary violation and then showing up in a different thread playing innocent is textbook manipulative asshattery.

misophistry
misophistry
2 years ago

When guys ask me out I just tell them I’m married to the scary looking guy with the beard and dark glasses (he actually has a very feminine face under the bush and suffers from light sensitivity but they don’t know that).

IgnoreSandra - Marxist in a Skirt

@Kupo & Jesalin

<3 Love to both of you. But that's kind of my point. Incels think they're ugly though they're not, I think I'm ugly though I'm not. But it's only incels who take their self-loathing, use it to destroy their interpersonal connections, and then blame others for it.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

Not my place to add to the banhammer call.

However, I will say his actions have lead me to lose any minimal tolerance. Consider him trollish in behaviour and pretty much unteachable – not that anyone is obligated to try in the first place.

Going back to ignoring him now.

Violet the Vile, Wielder of an Ideologically Weaponised Vagina
Violet the Vile, Wielder of an Ideologically Weaponised Vagina
2 years ago

When someone asks me out it totally makes my day. It doesn’t matter what they look like or whether I’m interested in them or not.

It makes me feel all like “Violet, she’s so hot right now.”

I always ask out people I’m interested in (if they aren’t in a relationship, or not interested in talking, or a stranger on a train or something) mostly because I want to share that feeling! Yo you can make everyone feel good about themselves!

Yes, incels, ask women out! They won’t go out with you, but they will go home feeling happy that someone fancied them while you crawl back to your internet hate-space defeated!

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
2 years ago
Makroth
Makroth
2 years ago

But what if she says yes? Would he consider this a good or a bad thing?

feministguy
feministguy
2 years ago

Love comes in more than the romantic form, incels can find love, never said they cant

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

I would be fine with a banhammer, mostly because he’s boring now. He hasn’t set off a genuine takedown from WWTH, Scildfreja, Alan, or Dvärghundspossen in days, so what’s the point of keeping him around?

(To all the others who also do magnificent takedowns, I love you too.)

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
2 years ago

Adding my vote for the banhammer. I’m really tired of the way he tries to make every thread about himself, and I’m getting more than a whiff of seagull.

Dr. Thang
Dr. Thang
2 years ago

@feministguy

You can’t find love when you’re so full of hate. They hate women, there’s no way around it, their massive unfulfilled sense of entitlement has turned into bile in their brains. The “incel” community is one built upon reveling in bitterness and wallowing in misery, so until they leave their little garbage society and gain a sense of humility and responsibility for their failures, they will never find love or be happy.

feministguy
feministguy
2 years ago

Agree with Dr Thang

Violet

What you are saying with regards to incels should ask women out sounds good on paper/text. But constant rejection will have a negative impact on their self esteem, so I dont reccommend they ask women out. They need to realise women make up half the population, there is an increasing number of women working in different sectors of jobs, so to have a successful career, they need to be able to respect women and be able to work with them

But incels shouldnt feel that they need to have any romantic success to live a happy fullfilling life. Intimacy/dating isnt the be all and end all of life

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

Feministguy

The only reason women don’t want anything to do with you is you’re waving more red flags than those Russian guys who captured the Reichstag.

(Not as good as Nicolaluna’s I know)

feministguy
feministguy
2 years ago

@Alan

I have women colleagues and women family members and we got along with fine. Most the people close to me are comfortable with me going without intimacy and going my own way (not fucking MGTOW – I mean living my life differently to others without being a bitter little shit about it)

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

@feministguy

We’re still waiting for evidence of the “not being a bitter little shit” part.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

I have women colleagues and women family members and we got along with fine.

Yeah, some of my best friends are black too.

But I seriously recommend any female friends you may have invest in a copy of Gavin DeBecker.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I have women colleagues and women family members and we got along with fine.

comment image

Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

They need to realise women make up half the population, there is an increasing number of women working in different sectors of jobs, so to have a successful career, they need to be able to respect women and be able to work with them

Cool. So hateful men shouldn’t have to treat women respectfully because, you know, we’re PEOPLE and innately deserving of basic respect, but because if they don’t, then it might be harder for them to have successful careers. Good to know your priorities.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

And the funny thing is, men like this legit don’t think the women in their orbit know what they’re like. I can guarantee his female colleagues are creeped out by him and are just bare minimum nice and friendly to be professional and avoid conflict.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

Don’t be silly, Catalpa

Respect is earn.

Capybara
Capybara
2 years ago

How does one recover from or get out of an incel-like mindset?

feministguy
feministguy
2 years ago

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Not really. Why would they be creeped out? We have each others backs and know each others boundaries.

Rabid Rabbit

Theres no evidence that I am bitter. I wish all women the best of luck and I dont believe I am entitled to anything. My words have been twisted on here.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Why can’t you be entertaining like you were when you were Mrs Chad Skyboom Rooster?

https://wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/05/05/the-mgtows-were-nestled-all-snug-in-their-beds-while-visions-of-sexbots-danced-in-their-heads/comment-page-3/#comment-968729

Remember when you said that lesbians are cishet? Now that was fun.

cornychips
cornychips
2 years ago

I propose emailing david in the morning calling for feministguy ban time. No sense in sending david an email this late at night for a tedious lying troll unless one of yall beat me to it.

So feministguy, seeya! And YOU creep me out. Your behaviour is fucking rapetastic.

Edit: new evidence. Emailing david again.

NicolaLuna
NicolaLuna
2 years ago

But I seriously recommend any female friends you may have invest in a copy of Gavin DeBecker.

QFT

I love that book. I’ve bought copies of it for friends.

Instead of making this thread about unfeministguy, can we talk about non conventionally attractive people who we have a thing for?
For me it’s Mhairi Black (the SNP politician) because watching her speeches in the house of commons leaves me in awe of her. Jeremy Corbyn for similar reasons.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I used to have a thing for Dana Carvey. I like little guys. Hal Sparks, Adam Scott, and Damon Albarn are maybe too handsome to be considered not conventionally attractive? But a big part of why I like them is that they have a smallness about them that I’m into. Carvey is for sure not a hottie by most standards though. Feeeemaaaales are supposed to only like big tall burly guys, so maybe that counts.

cornychips
cornychips
2 years ago

Oh yeah I always liked small skater looking boys when I was younger. The artsy-or the better.

feministguy
feministguy
2 years ago

“And YOU creep me out. Your behaviour is fucking rapetastic.”

What?? Rape?? Where did I even remotely mention that rape was OK? I think rape is disgusting. What the fuck?

Dvärghundspossen
Dvärghundspossen
2 years ago

Ok am I the weird one here because I can’t see what Feministguy does that’s so horrible? Did I miss some crucial stuff he wrote? All I see are people piling on him while he seems to be trying to stay inoffensive?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

Speaking of attractiveness, I’d just like to stick this here.

comment image

Now I hear you say “But Al, she’s conventionally attractive”, and I would agree; I’d love to meet her. Unfortunately she died about 22,000 years ago. She was a neanderthal, and that’s a reconstruction of her skull with a modern haircut and a bit of lippy.

And this chap was the original neanderthal, the one Boulle described as ugly and brutish (we now know he had an arthritic spine and rickets). From this picture I can only assume neanderthals died out waiting for Windows 10 to update.

comment image

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

Dvärghundspossen:

I haven’t followed that closely either, but seems that Feministguy has been mildly-but-persistently annoying in a way that gives off a trollish vibe. Especially in recent threads it’s been quite subtle, like he’s taking care to not get banned in a strongly moderated environment, despite his extensive refusal to accept criticism. Even when he says something agreeable and on-topic, it tends to be generic platitudes that come off like a cover for his sealioning.

It’s almost like we’re training a repeatedly banned veteran troll to build a credible feminist commenter persona, to the point that he eventually stops being a troll.

Dvärghundspossen
Dvärghundspossen
2 years ago

Ok

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

Alan:

Now I hear you say “But Al, she’s conventionally attractive”, and I would agree; I’d love to meet her. Unfortunately she died about 22,000 years ago.

Well, apparently her remains weren’t undateable.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ lumipuna

As the cool kids would say ‘Have an Internet’. 🙂

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

Alan, what’s the status of forensic facial reconstruction in English law? I know that such reconstructions are not legally admissible as evidence in US law, because it’s as much art as science and different practitioners tend to produce different results.

In the case of modern humans, we know a lot about the musculature and fatty tissue to be expected, and yet there’s still that variation in the results. In the case of Neanderthals, presumably we’re mostly relying on speculation about that?

Here’s a paper, “Forensic Facial Reconstruction under Test”, by a forensic anthropologist, which talks about the subjectivity involved, albeit with students.

Reconstructions of Neanderthals are fascinating, but I do wonder whether a real Neanderthal would look at our results and say “what the fuck? How rude!”

Starfury
Starfury
2 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen

Ooh, I’ve got one! He said my lived experiences were.. wrong, I guess, or a lie (his words were ‘It’s garbage’) and that I (he used the phrase ‘you women’, lol) had been brainwashed by evil men into denying my true nature.

Everyone gave him enough chances but he wouldn’t even acknowledge their comments half the time, let alone address them, and repeatedly insisted women are ‘shallow’* (but it is okay and natural to be shallow) despite being told it isn’t true and to stop. Oh, and he keeps talking about his sex life when he has been asked to stop bringing up his boner by WWTH a bajillion times.

*I’m using ‘shallow’ as shorthand for ‘needs conventional good-looks in a partner’

Back to fun topics. Unconventionally-attractive people we have a thing for (though platonic, I want in on this so I can gush) I love Mhari Black too, she is so passionate and strong.. and genuinely cares. Charlie Brooker and David Mitchell are both great; so enjoyable to watch speak. I want to say Richard Ayoade but we all know he is blatantly a HB10. Gwendoline Christie as Brienne of Tarth, oh god how I love her. But that might just be envy; I wish I was a tank.

I want to ask as regards David Tennent, though, is he actually conventionally attractive? Same with Benedict Cumberbatch?

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

Starfury, I find it hard to judge guys, but I think most people would say that David Tennant is conventionally attractive, particularly when he smiles.

Steph Tohill
Steph Tohill
2 years ago

@NicolaLuna

There aren’t many unattractive people in the public eye I have/had a thing for (not famous people though, plenty.)

However I had a huge massive crush on the rapper Fat Joe back in the day. No idea why.

Steph Tohill
Steph Tohill
2 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen

I can’t see anything either BUT I don’t spend lots of times in the comments so maybe he has been truly objectionable across multiple threads.

Steph Tohill
Steph Tohill
2 years ago

@Starfury

“Everyone gave him enough chances but he wouldn’t even acknowledge their comments half the time, let alone address them, and repeatedly insisted women are ‘shallow’* (but it is okay and natural to be shallow) despite being told it isn’t true and to stop. Oh, and he keeps talking about his sex life when he has been asked to stop bringing up his boner by WWTH a bajillion times.”

Ok he sounds like a massive troll and far from being a ‘feministguy’.

Oh and Benedict Cumberbatch is definitely conventionally attractive and I think he is gorgeous too.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

Here’s a paper, “Forensic Facial Reconstruction under Test”,

Ooh thanks for that Moggie; it was an interesting read.

I couldn’t think of any examples of facial reconstruction being used as evidence in a trial here; and Google doesn’t bring up any examples either. What I have seen happen is they’ve used facial reconstruction in missing person cases, and then once they have a possible ID, they confirm that with familial DNA, dental records, earlier x-rays etc. I have to say, the reconstructions do turn out to be remarkably accurate (although things like hairstyle, skin tone, eye colour etc make a big difference).

I suspect the Neanderthal reconstructions are a similarly accurate. We’ve gone from seperate species, to sub-species already; and I have no doubt as we learn yet more about Neanderthal anatomy and culture, even that distinction will vanish. They’re just people like the rest of us.

Animal reconstructions might be another matter though. Have you seen where they’ve applied the techniques they use on extinct animals to modern animals? The results are, well let’s say, surprising.

Starfury
Starfury
2 years ago

@moggie @steph

Thank you for the clarification on Benedict Cumberbatch and David Tennent.

I’m terrible at gauging these things so often try to step back and go by whether they conform to the ‘golden ratio’ (which I won’t be upset to be told is just pseudoscience bullshit) and that basically eliminates everyone from the ‘good-looking’ category if one is being ‘black and white’ about it.

Violet the Vile, Wielder of an Ideologically Weaponised Vagina
Violet the Vile, Wielder of an Ideologically Weaponised Vagina
2 years ago

@feministguy

I’m not really interested in how rejection makes incels feel, tbh. Rejection is part of life for everyone. You just have to take it on the chin….what’s the alternative? I mean, it’s not like you can spend the rest of your life safely whining about how UNFAIR it is on the internet instead of taking risks and confronting your issues….oh wait

The only place incels face “constant rejection” is in their own heads. I’d bet my entire year’s salary all of them could get a date, if they were willing to get therapy, deal with their shit and actually risk trying to connect with women emotionally.

But it’s easier for them to keep their heads up their own asses, because that way they can blame feminists, society, Stacey, Chad, and the One-Armed Man for their own failures, right?

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
2 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen and Steph

See page 3 of the comments in the Does giving a woman an orgasm make you a cuck, men who never have sex wonder post for a shining example of why folks here are pretty much done with “feminist”guy…

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Or pretty much the entire thread on MGTOWs and Gandhi where we repeatedly explain to him the problem with saying that some guys are just too ugly to ever date or sex. He has a habit of asking questions and then entirely ignoring the answers and restating his original statements instead.

My trolldar was always going off with him, but when I asked him to stop asking us the same questions in multiple different threads, told him that ignoring the answers we took the time to write out was disrespectful and if he cares about respecting women and our boundaries, he’ll heed this request, and he told me that I couldn’t have boundaries that don’t involve sex, that was certainly the last straw for me.

EJ (The Other One)
2 years ago

I’m not really interested in how rejection makes incels feel, tbh. Rejection is part of life for everyone.

This.

I normally try to avoid “it’s just the way life is” arguments, because they’re often made in bad faith, but in this case it’s completely true.

Rejection is always acceptable. “No” is always a complete sentence. If someone can’t accept that, that’d a problem with them, not with anyone else.