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TRUMP ANGRY! LAUNCH MISSILES! Today in Tweets, Friday the 13th Edition [UPDATED]

McCabe is Comey! Comey is McCabe! Black is white! Tyranny is freedom!

UPDATE about 5 minutes after this went up: TRUMP ORDERS MISSILE STRIKES ON SYRIA

Here are a few initial reactions to the strikes on Twitter, followed by my original post:

https://twitter.com/jkfecke/status/984961579270721536

https://twitter.com/morninggloria/status/984964446400450560

By David Futrelle

So much going on today.Trump is losing it on Twitter as he contemplates firing Rod Rosenstein — which would basically trigger a constitutional crises — and/or launching what will almost certainly be a disastrous attack on Syria (even by normal US foreign policy standards).

But wait there’s more! Apparently Mueller has evidence that Michael Cohen lied about not being in Prague for a meeting discussed in the Steele dossier. Gosh, that “dodgy dossier” seems to be full of actual true things, while Michael Cohen’s mouth seems to be full of lies. Oh, and Comey started his book tour today. And Trump fucking pardoned Scooter Libby!

The day isn’t even over yet.

Here’s an actual tweet from the actual president today:

And here’s an old Tweet from his dodgy lawyer:

NARRATOR: But he had been to Prague.

Here’s Mr. Cohen today:

Meanwhile, some fans of pretty alt-lite ladies are having a little trouble trying to create artistic tributes to their goddesses:

https://twitter.com/JABinjail/status/984445917834162176

https://twitter.com/KrangTNelson/status/984882127421485057

Some transphobes are having trouble with pronouns. The CONCEPT of pronouns, that is.

https://twitter.com/princess_stef69/status/984888016551464961

In other news:

JFC.

I envy Zelda:

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PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
6 years ago

Goddamn Trump. Goddamn his incompetent fucking soul to hell.

Chris Oakley
Chris Oakley
6 years ago

@PeeVee: Trump already sold his soul when he won the 2016 Republican nomination.

IgnoreSandra - Marxist in a Skirt

This entire fucking politics in the USA is triggering that little bit of my mental illness that says now and has always said “You won’t survive the next year”.

Fuck him for giving me good reason to think that part of me is right.

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
6 years ago

@PeeVee: Trump already sold his soul when he won the 2016 Republican nomination.

Then the fucking devil can collect his bounty right now.

I am sick of having yet another existential crisis every time that evil anus-mouthed shit-for-brains flaps his bloviating gums.

Nequam
Nequam
6 years ago

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Aside: Michael Cohen’s going to be played by Jeffrey Tambor in the movie, isn’t he?

Horrorfan510
Horrorfan510
6 years ago

There is no word in English to describe how much I hate Trump at this moment. Can any non English speakers suggest one?

Uly
Uly
6 years ago

God, he’s in his 70s, isn’t he? Why can’t he just drop dead already?

tim gueguen
6 years ago

That Zelda! What amazing eyes.

If SavvyCat doesn’t have pronounces does that mean we have to say SavvyCat every time we mention SavvyCat?

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Kick this Orange terrorist out, deport him and take away his access to the Internet before he gets us all killed.

How weak are we as a country that a minor is more threatening than a grown white man wearing a swatiska and white hood carrying a gun? That poor kid. He was just asking for directions. Shooting, deporting, tasing, handcuffing, etc young kids are ok but reporting and standing up to Nazis, etc are “unacceptable because it’s censoring free speech and it makes you as bad as they are” I’m seriously done.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
6 years ago

Horrorfan510
There is no word in English to describe how much I hate Trump at this moment. Can any non English speakers suggest one?

Just a few

Nahuatl the true language of Mexicans.
Go away – ¡Xiauh!
Arabic: I hate you – أنا أكرهك
French: Je vous deteste.
Spanish: Te odio
Haitian Creole: mwen rayi nou
Cherokke word Hate – Ganaquatisdi
https://en.bab.la/dictionary/english-swahili/loathe

And there is this guy
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EddX9hnhDS4

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
6 years ago

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sTjsridwZ-U
And look up the same guy to see his other video “how to say f*** you in 35 different languages.”

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
6 years ago

Nequam: Henry Winkler. With Jon Cryer playing Rosenstein.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

There is no word in English to describe how much I hate Trump at this moment. Can any non English speakers suggest one?

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Ray of Rays
Ray of Rays
6 years ago

There is no word in English to describe how much I hate Trump at this moment. Can any non English speakers suggest one?

I can vouch that there are no words in Elvish or Entish, either.

Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
6 years ago

@WWTH

…I like that one.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
6 years ago

@PeeVee:

Goddamn Trump. Goddamn his incompetent fucking soul to hell.

Begging your pardon, ma’am, but: What soul?

@Ray of Rays:

What about in the language of Mordor? Though I should probably not utter it here …

Hypatia's Daughter
Hypatia's Daughter
6 years ago

Fruitloopsie

“how to say f*** you in 35 different languages.”

Here in the South, we ladies say “Bless your heart!”

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Soooo….

I guess that Wag the Dog pic I posted earlier isn’t even a joke now.

https://twitter.com/funder/status/984991931137691654

The bases struck were empty. Already been evacuated. Totally fake war.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
6 years ago

@WWTH:

Well, at least that means that the US forces (not necessarily Trump, even, but someone) were smart enough to tell the Russians in advance where the strikes were going. So there’s a reasonable chance that WWIII has been averted, at least for tonight.

Now I just want to see how many Republicans who insisted that Clinton only bombed Serbia to distract the world from his sex life are going to insist that Trump only did this as a distraction technique. *waits* *crickets*

I’m also amazed that Trump hasn’t put out a “Friday the 13th sure was unlucky for Assad!!” tweet.

That being said, I’m still stuck on that first not-missile-related Trump tweet in the OP, the one about “McCabe is Comey!!” I’m trying to find a non-ableist word to describe it, because the only term that comes to mind is “unhinged.” Not in the sense of mental illness, but in the sense of spiralling completely out of control and ceasing to make sense. Any suggestions?

Jesalin
Jesalin
6 years ago

Disconnected from reality?

Shadowplay
6 years ago

The bases struck were empty. Already been evacuated. Totally fake war.

Nah. That’s normal for a retaliation strike against a nation state. Give them enough warning to clear out the people but not the gear, then take out the facility. Been done for decades.
You want to smack them for using gas, stop them doing it again, but at the same time you don’t really want to kill unnecessarily. That causes complications.

Jules
Jules
6 years ago

I just want to help the refugees. Just bring some here. We have the room, the resources. I’m so sick of the international community being such apathetic cowards, greedy bloodsuckers, and evil monsters. Our children will be ashamed of us.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
6 years ago

@Jesalin

That works. The only problem is that it’s a bit long, in the sense that you can’t swear with it. It’s an unfortunate truth that ableist language tends to be a lot pithier than the alternatives. (Compare “Is he n**s???” with “Is he disconnected from reality???”)

Shadowplay
6 years ago

@Jules

I just want to help the refugees

What’s stopping you?

Not exactly expecting you to hop a plane to Jordan, though the aid agencies do need skilled bodies! If you do have some skills – Medicines sans Frontieres would REALLY like to hear from you.

But what about looking into sponsoring? Doing work for the agencies that are working with refugees – they NEVER turn down a volunteer?

You want to help – help.

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