By David Futrelle
In the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, yet another man with what appears to be a merely theoretical understanding of the subject has decided that he needs to explain sex to us all.
Be warned: He uses … metaphor.
It’s not pretty.
Here’s the whole text if you don’t want to squint to read that:
The Rigged Exchange (self.MGTOW)
submitted 7 months ago by slyn69
when you boil male female relationships down to their most basic exchange, the man provides resources and utility and the woman provides access to sex. already, this is a completely unfair exchange when you realize that women actually enjoy and crave sex as much as men, if not more-so. on top of that, it is the expectation on the man to perform sexually, pleasure his woman and bring her to orgasm multiple times.its like, if u and a woman were making an apple pie together. your job would be to grow the apples, pluck them. plant the wheat, grind it into flour. mead the dough. add the sugar. turn it into a pie. then u bring your pie around to all the women u know hoping one of them will open her oven for you. she doesnt even turn the oven on, thats still your job. then, after the pie is done cooking, u have to feed it to her.
Er, “mead the dough?”
I’m not sure this guy is much of a baker, if you catch my drift.
I’ll leave it to the rest of you to tease out all the implications of the rest of this metaphor because I’m a having a little trouble trying to figure out what, sex-wise, each of the pie-making steps he mentions actually refer to.
The oven is the vagina, right? Is the pie the penis? Because I’m pretty sure you don’t bake pies by repeatedly putting them in and pulling them out of the oven.
And if we ignore this little metaphorical oddity and accept that putting the pie in the oven is penis-in-vagina fun time, then why does the guy have to feed her the pie afterwards? What if she wants to, er, eat it beforehand? Or maybe just use her hand? What if he wants to eat her pie or, I dunno, put his finger in it? If her pie, in this metaphor, is actually the oven, dude should probably wear oven mitts, right? Do they make those for tongues?
I have so many questions.
I suspect this guy will be “meading” his own dough for a while, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge.
Ah, The Rigged Exchange uses the old Little Red Hen” analogy, and ends up enjoying his bread all alone.
My brain hurts from reading that, from trying to take this apart and turn it into something coherent. This guy clearly never baked before, either.
Or maybe he saw a female relative bake a pie once, and thought it was super easy to do. IDK.
Aww, missed the edit window!
Anyway, “Mead the dough” sounds like a bawdy song.
I echo other sentiments. He knows as much about baking and sex as he does quantum physics
Mispistory!!!! 😛
Though I’ve never understood why people think baking is hard.
The gentleman is experienced in neither in matters of sex nor pie. His grasp of written English is also somewhat questionable.
If all you see women as being “good for” is for providing a place to put a penis, then I suppose it might seem like that’s what relationships with one come down to.
Blech. They’re so incredibly insipid, really.
This sounds like a lot of work. Why doesn’t he just get apple pie at McDonalds?
@ moggie
Because they won’t be cool enough to eat until ten minutes after the heat death of the universe. They’re like sugary lava.
If this “metaphor” refers to P.i.V. sex, well, I never thought it took all that much “work” to get the “pie” ready for the “oven”….
Maybe it’s just me….
I don’t know, I rather like the idea of “meading the dough”. Fermented honey is definitely something that could improve apple pie.
Also does my vagina have variable temperature settings? How did that get missed in my biology classes at school? The quality of sexual education… Sheesh.
ETA Although it’s only now dawned on me that dough doesn’t feature in an apple pie recipe. He’s thinking of bread. I must be tired. *facepalm*
@ Weatherwax;
… there are soooooo many inappropriate jokes from my factory worker days….
I love how mad MGTOWs are about relationship models that aren’t even that common. I don’t know anyone who has ever been in a relationship in which the man always pays for dates and all the dates are lavish, only the man gives gifts on holidays, and all the woman does is look pretty. I’m sure there are relationships out there like this. But I’ve never seen it. Yet every MGTOW seems to think this is how relationships work. My only explanation is that it is still pretty common for the man to pay on the first date or two. I wonder if these guys have never gotten past a first date because they’re so unpleasant to be around and they just assume the entirety of relationships are like an awkward first date but with more sex.
At least this one seems to realize that women (in general) actually do like sex. That’s progress!
They’ve managed to kill my craving for some apple pie. I think I’ll have a cupcake now instead
@WWTH:
The “women are all gold-diggers” meme always boggles my mind because I’ve never known a woman who was like that. Not a single one. Maybe I’ve met a gold-digger, but I’ve never gotten to know one, not even as an acquaintance. What I have known are a ton of women who bust their asses to be successful on their own merits.
The way I read this was that the apple pie metaphor wasn’t so much about sex, at least until she “opens her oven”. I think he’s talking about all the work, the slaving, etc, you know, killing the mammoth and so forth, to take care of the woman who sits watching TV and dreaming about Chad all day while he goes out to his super-brainy STEM job, works 37 hours a day, brings in a super paycheck that she spends in one place, probably on shoes and lipstick, and then, only then, once he’s worked to bring her these goodies, she might permit him to have sex with her.
I’m not sure about the feeding her afterwards, though I suspect that might refer to all the horrible child support checks he has to send for that little brat he didn’t want and she tricked him into having when he just wanted some fun.
It’s just the same tired old economic theory of sexual relations, with a sugary coating.
That metaphor is half baked.
Now I want to try adding mead to my pie dough.
@MrsObedMarsh
That was exactly what I was thinking about while reading this! I’m used to mgtows being virgins who have no idea how sex works and using poorly realized metaphors that prove it, so that’s nothing new. But the whole 50s mindset that all men do all the work and all women just leech off them and provide nothing but sex, is that like, ever true? I mean, does anyone ever see that anymore? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a relationship like that in my life, I can’t think of one where both partners didn’t have a job. Hell, my sister makes more than her husband. How are these failures so blind to the reality that is happening all around them? Do they just never leave their mom’s basements?
Btw, I just noticed your awesome name! I’m a huge Lovecraft fan.
Yeah, but you’re not an MRA.
It must be really difficult to get the “pie” ready when you hate the “oven” with the fire of a thousand suns…
Re: Gold diggers
I’m sure they do exist – after all, greedy assholery knows no gender – but they’ve got to be a really small percentage of women.
Probably comparable to the percentage of gold-digging men, who somehow get conveniently left out of the whole “gold digger” narrative.
@Shadowplay
Not all baking is hard, but pastry can be, especially for people who don’t have cold hands (warm hands melt the butter too much when you’re mixing it into the flour). And there’s the fact is a precision sort of cooking, in that things can get ruined really fast.
ETA: Which I suppose makes the metaphor even worse. I mean, I’m sure there are some women who like cold hands meading their dough, but I don’t think they’re in the majority.
What kills me is the way they blame the basic tasks of daily living on women. If women disappeared from the earth tomorrow, there would still be jobs. There would still be wars and people dying in coal mines. There would still be the need to earn money and wipe butts.
None of this is foreplay. It’s basic adulting.
Part of me thinks they deliberately bat around these ridiculous metaphors in order to justify their failures. If sex is a bakery, but also a wolfpack, but also the stock market, then clearly it’s an illogical waste of time for them to engage in something so alien and nonsensical. (These are the same sort of dudes who mysteriously can’t grasp how to do laundry because it’s just too complicated.) Anything can be made to seem overblown and ridiculous and too much effort, if you go far back enough in time and add up all the labor that got you to that point.
Why choose a metaphor about something that you don’t understand to explain another thing you don’t understand? Then you just look like you know nothing about two subjects. Why not use something you actually have expertise in? (Although what that would be for a MGTOW I have no idea, sex = reddit gold or something?) Maybe they just can’t do anything besides be terrible.
Btw I simplified the recipe for anyone who wants to bake this at home: homegrown apples + hand milled flour + mead + sugar + ???? = pie.
It’s mind blowing how out of step with reality they are. I’m almost scared to ask what they would think of stay at home dads.