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Sex is like making an apple pie in which the man does all the work and the woman just opens her oven, dude who clearly never has sex explains

Women are picky about the “apple pies” they “eat,” if you know what I mean

By David Futrelle

In the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, yet another man with what appears to be a merely theoretical understanding of the subject has decided that he needs to explain sex to us all.

Be warned: He uses … metaphor.

It’s not pretty.

Here’s the whole text if you don’t want to squint to read that:

The Rigged Exchange (self.MGTOW)

submitted 7 months ago by slyn69
when you boil male female relationships down to their most basic exchange, the man provides resources and utility and the woman provides access to sex. already, this is a completely unfair exchange when you realize that women actually enjoy and crave sex as much as men, if not more-so. on top of that, it is the expectation on the man to perform sexually, pleasure his woman and bring her to orgasm multiple times.

its like, if u and a woman were making an apple pie together. your job would be to grow the apples, pluck them. plant the wheat, grind it into flour. mead the dough. add the sugar. turn it into a pie. then u bring your pie around to all the women u know hoping one of them will open her oven for you. she doesnt even turn the oven on, thats still your job. then, after the pie is done cooking, u have to feed it to her.

Er, “mead the dough?”

I’m not sure this guy is much of a baker, if you catch my drift.

I’ll leave it to the rest of you to tease out all the implications of the rest of this metaphor because I’m a having a little trouble trying to figure out what, sex-wise, each of the pie-making steps he mentions actually refer to.

The oven is the vagina, right? Is the pie the penis? Because I’m pretty sure you don’t bake pies by repeatedly putting them in and pulling them out of the oven.

And if we ignore this little metaphorical oddity and accept that putting the pie in the oven is penis-in-vagina fun time, then why does the guy have to feed her the pie afterwards? What if she wants to, er, eat it beforehand? Or maybe just use her hand? What if he wants to eat her pie or, I dunno, put his finger in it? If her pie, in this metaphor, is actually the oven, dude should probably wear oven mitts, right? Do they make those for tongues?

I have so many questions.

I suspect this guy will be “meading” his own dough for a while, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge.

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NicolaLuna
NicolaLuna
2 years ago

Im right that some men are so bloody damn ugly they cant date. Im living proof. Where incels go wrong is their misoginy, hate, rape fantasies and consumption,.

@misogynistguy
How have you not learned anything at all from the make up thread?
How have you not realised that you’re just saying the same thing over and over without responding to anything others in the conversation have said?
And how the fuck dare you continue to call yourself a feminist when women on this thread have set boundaries and you have just acknowledged the boundary and then steamrollered over it like it’s insignificant.

Seriously?

You say you can’t date because you’re too ugly, but from your time here, you’ve made it clear that you can’t get dates because you are a walking red flag dressed in a red flag cape while leaving a trail of red flags behind you.

Fluffy Spider
Fluffy Spider
2 years ago

@feministguy
I’m going to go out on a limb here.
Undateable for looks isn’t really a valid concept. My real self (not the many awesome pics) isn’t classically beautiful or whatever. Neither is my good ex. What got us to have dates (including his engagement) Is being a decent person, respecting boundaries being kind not to get anything romantic or sexual in return but to be kind for the purpose of being genuinely kind
Anyone can become dateable by being a genuinely likeable person.
*loudly audible sigh*

Shadowplay
2 years ago

@NicolaLuna

Knew I liked you for a good reason.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
2 years ago

WE NEED TO TEACH INCELS HOW TO MAKE PEACE WITH BEING UNDATEABLE.

We” need to teach ’em, y’all.

Dude you need to take the hint.

Tashilicious
Tashilicious
2 years ago

Incels aren’t incels because they’re ugly.

Incels are incels because they’re horrible misogynists.

Plenty of people have told you, in multiple threads, that physical attractiveness wasn’t a deal maker or breaker for them. Women. Women have told you this. The people you deride as being shallow and only caring about how hot a man is. Told you. You were wrong. About your assumptions.

You ignored it and kept banging the drum and blaming the women for not liking “Us ugly incels :(”

We can take you to the water, guy, but apparently we can’t make you understand you’re supposed to drink it or you’ll die of thirst.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
2 years ago

Hey something I just noticed :

Where incels go wrong is their misoginy, hate, rape fantasies and consumption,.

The what ?

Tashilicious
Tashilicious
2 years ago

Consumption. The thing that killed Doc Holliday

Shadowplay
2 years ago

And Elvis.

EJ (The Other One)
2 years ago

Incel causes tuberculosis? But… Keats and Chopin were like the least celibate people ever.

Kidvelociraptor
2 years ago

Scildfreja Unnyðnes: Fucking brilliant. Says it all, really.

Rabid Rabbit: I quite like cold fingers. Perhaps I should start referring to my boobs as “pies”.

Unfeminist guy: The thing about women is that, being people, they’re all, you know, different. Different women (like men) put a different amount of emphasis on looks. I’m not going to pretend like all women go off personality alone, but some of them do, & quite a few of those women have told you that. But I wonder if non supermodels are even visible to you, because I see homely couples whenever I leave the house.
You can’t just blame your face when the rest of you is a red flag 🚩

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Im right that some men are so bloody damn ugly they cant date. Im living proof. Where incels go wrong is their misoginy, hate, rape fantasies and consumption,.

WE NEED TO TEACH INCELS HOW TO MAKE PEACE WITH BEING UNDATEABLE. Nothing else is gonna work

Oh, MRAL

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Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

@(un)feministguy

How can you be uncomfortable with something I say about myself?

Are you for real? Here, let’s do a thought experiment. Some dude walks up to a woman and says “my dick is so hard right now.” Do you think that the woman would be able to be uncomfortable about that statement, despite the fact that the dude only said something about himself, nothing about her?

“Well, sure,” you might say, “But that guy was talking about SEX stuff! Of course women can be uncomfortable about sex stuff. But anything non sex related is totally different!”

Even if I accept your position that there’s nothing that can make a person uncomfortable provided the statement is only about themselves and not about sex (ignoring that I’ve ever heard of TMI, etc), YOU’RE STILL FUCKING TALKING ABOUT SEX. Nearly every damn post you write is whining about how you will never find “intimacy” with a woman. That’s sex, dude. You’re trampling over people’s boundaries to keep talking about your sad boner. How the hell can you not see how that would be uncomfortable?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

Feministguy has a twofold agenda.

The first aspect is personal. He gets off on making women uncomfortable. Remember, incel is about hating not dating.

The second is more global. Incels have a thing about ‘blackpills’.

Blackpills are their nihilistic little truthbombs. They get particularly excited if they can point to one from an outside source. Most of those are obvious false flags. I can’t imagine many real women post on dating sites: “Like all females I want a tall 8+ with good wrists, must also be rich”.

But feministguy’s goal is to wear people down until someone says he is too ugly to date.

He then has a screenshot from a site of self identified feminist women, that he can post to the incel sites as “Feminists drop brutal blackpill!”

NicolaLuna
NicolaLuna
2 years ago

@Shadowplay

Thanks, you’re fab yourself ^_^

Tbh I have so little patience for incel/nice guy garbage. I posted here in September or October 2015 about an incel type guy who was harassing me, calling constantly and pretending to be me online to talk to men sexually. He literally even said in messages to me that I wouldn’t date him because he’s ugly and I’m shallow. I haven’t responded to a single message in 2.5 years since I told him to stop contacting me.

Well a couple of days ago the police finally served him a police information notice detailing what he has done and saying if he doesn’t stop immediately then he’ll be arrested. So far it seems to have worked!

But that’s essentially where the incel mindset leads. And anyone expressing incel rhetoric is gonna get a giant telling off from me!

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
2 years ago

NicolaLuna
I’m sorry you went through that. I had a couple of somewhat similiar experiences too.

Incels/nice guys including misognyist guy here: “no one wants to date me because I’m ugly!”
Me:
http://68.media.tumblr.com/f3f20c572bea2f97bf9bac8843bbdc5b/tumblr_mmho3bfDzC1rlqxudo1_250.gif

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
2 years ago

Ohmigosh NicolaLuna, the cops actually did something? That’s so great! That much be such a huge relief. I hope he never bothers you again, and that you get rainbows and cupcakes from here on out. You too Fruitloopsie, that sucks!

Unrelated to that,

The central premise of Feministguy’s argument is that everyone is more shallow and vain than they believe themselves to be; that appearance is always a factor and that anyone who says otherwise is just deluding themselves.

I’ve found that when people are making universal statements about “Everyone”, they’re not talking about everyone, they’re talking about themselves. Because they can’t know everyones’ inner motivations, they only know themselves.

They can’t know, but they can infer, which is what everyone does. And the brain uses itself as the base model in those instances. The motivations of the self are written in those universal statements.

So, I keep that in mind when I read about how Feministguy thinks all people are superficial and vain. No doubt he’s experienced bad social experiences his entire life; our society can be judgemental. There’s a shade of truth there. But certainly not a universal.

EJ (The Other One)
2 years ago

I’m really glad it seems to have worked, NicolaLuna. I remember you talking about him before and I was very worried. Fingers crossed that the official paperwork you did has scared him away.

Re Feministguy, I can’t help but think that we’re ascribing him with too much intelligence. I think it’s a simpler motive: every time we’ve talked about any group of guys who are being assholes, he’s said superficially-feminist things that draw the conversation back to incels.

Does he want us to go after incels? Does he think that we organise invasions of reddit groups or something?

Shadowplay
2 years ago

@NicolaLuna

Glad the bill got off their arses and did something, and really sorry you had to put up with that crap in the first place.
If he does start up again – in the guise of an apology, most likely – contact the bill at once please! They are trying to take this sort of thing seriously now.
Or give me a shout. A bit of exercise now and again won’t kill me. 😛

NicolaLuna
NicolaLuna
2 years ago

Thanks everyone. When I went to the police this time around I was a bit more insistent. I explained that I’d been to them twice already (apparently the paperwork wasn’t even done properly last time) and that 2.5 years of harassment is enough and I need them to do something about it.

The first time, they phoned him and he stopped calling me but that was when he started pretending to be me online. I had men contacting me online saying that they’d spoken to me before and luckily some of them sent me screenshots.

But this time the police officer took it way more seriously. She’s the one who served him with the police information notice and told him his contact is unwanted.

@fruitloopsie I’m sorry you’ve been through it too.

PaganReader - Misandrist Spinster

You ignored it and kept banging the drum and blaming the women for not liking “Us ugly incels :(”

But…but…he didn’t actually say that he blames wimmens! And it only counts if he actually says it! Cause that’s how bigotry works, dontchaknow. Someone’s only racist/sexist/homophobic/anti-Semitic/etc if they actually say that they hate people of color/women/Jewish people/LGBTQIA+ people.

@aboutasfarfrombeingfeministasispossibleguy
I guarantee you it’s not your looks. 100% guarantee. It’s your personality.
To very slightly paraphrase The Social Network

…you’re going to go through life thinking that girls don’t like you because you’re ugly. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won’t be true. It’ll be because you’re an asshole.

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
2 years ago

Oh, and I continue to maintain that Feminist Guy is MRAL. You can see exhibit A of my evidence on page 2 of the makeup thread. Exhibit B is his continued boundary violation.

I think that you are correct.

And I do not get the appeal of trolling this blog for years, starting when he was what? 19?

This is sad, MRAL. Stop.

Steph Tohill
Steph Tohill
2 years ago

Ok I give up – what is an MRAL? I get MRA but the L?

Shadowplay
2 years ago

It were the name of some idiot troll from ages past.

Before my commenting time. Always assumed it stood for MRA Loser.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

I think I saw in the archives that it stood for lieutenant? Could be remembering that wrong.

@Steph, he’s known for making new sock puppet accounts when he gets banned. https://wehuntedthemammoth.com/2013/01/02/the-winner-of-the-man-boobz-troll-of-the-year-award-for-2012-goes-to-mral-no-thats-not-a-typo/

cornychips
cornychips
2 years ago

Kupo,

I forgot that Steele and his vile 😉 ways were all mral! Oh the pearl clutching judgment of Steele. Hahaha. Vile.

I AMOST miss our libertarian troll that enjoyed dropping hints who he was with everysock. He would eventually get banned with one or two threads. 329 engineer seagull on the beach girlfriend in Canada ayn rand dude. It came to a point where he was actually making me laugh with his predictability. He had a shitton of socks. I wonder if there is a complication of his personas?

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
2 years ago

Scildfreja Unnyðnes and Nicolaluna.
☺️

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Cornychips,

Our seagull munching vampire engineer is a possible MRAL too though. He once had a very MRALesque tearful confession about how his trolling habit was a psychological issue and he was in therapy. Followed by a return to the same old troll behavior. Then there’s the fact that seagull man made an extremely brief return, proclaimed himself a god and flounced a couple of days before feminist guy showed up. Of course, like I said before, I just don’t want to believe there’s more than one person so obsessedwith this place.

Nobby
Nobby
2 years ago

Wooow, MRAL? Fuck, dude is as much an oldie as I am. Except I’ve hung around because I like Dave’s writing and the comments (trolls excluded) are always interesting and knowledgeable when I dip into them. To stay around because of a hate-boner or whatever else he’s got going on? Thats’… well, that’s something, that’s for sure.

Definitely sounds like him, though. I can confirm that much.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Good to have an old timer confirm it. I’m familiar with his work because I read the archives, but never interacted with his original persona. Whether that persona is the closest one to the real him, who knows.

AnonymousFriend
AnonymousFriend
2 months ago

And now you’ve given this idiot the same publicity that you receive from this website. Bad publicity is still publicity.

Last edited 2 months ago by AnonymousFriend