By David Futrelle
Ok, so let’s say you’re a totally normal dude who just happens to be, you know, an incel. And like most normal dudes you keep a folder full of pics of super handsome shirtless dudes on your computer, not because you like to look at them or anything but because you need them as evidence you can pull out at a moment’s notice the next time you get into an argument with someone online who doesn’t believe the totally true fact that super handsome dudes who are capable of removing their shirts are literally the only dudes in the world who can get dates with women unless, I dunno, the woman is super icky or a sex robot or just wants money from you or something.
And then your dad finds your folder of super handsome shirtless dudes and all hell breaks loose.
Dude. Dude. Dude!
I’m sorry about your dad, who honestly sounds like a bit of a jerk, but there’s nothing inherently weird about having a folder full of pics of shirtless hunky dudes on your computer.
It wouldn’t be weird if you had a folder full of pics of shirtless hunky dudes because you think they’re hot, regardless of whether you think of yourself as gay or bi or straight or asexual or whatever. It wouldn’t be weird if you had a folder full of pics of shirtless hunky dudes NOT because you think they’re hot but because, I dunno, you were trying to learn how to draw superheroes and wanted some pics of buff male torsos to use as a reference. Or because you like making funny photoshops with them. Or because you’re trying to get buff yourself and want inspiration. Or just because for some unknown reason you find looking at them very relaxing.
I mean, there are hundreds of non-weird reasons you might have a shirtless hunk folder on your hard drive.
The only weird reason I can think of for having a shirtless hunk folder on your hard drive is because you need them as evidence you can pull out at a moment’s notice the next time you get into an argument with someone online who doesn’t believe the totally true not true fact that super handsome dudes who are capable of removing their shirts are literally the only dudes in the world who can get dates with women.
It would also be weird if you had a folder full of pics of Chad Kroeger, but that’s a whole other can of worms my friend.
Always wondered what the parents of these dolts thought about their kids.
This is just so…
It’s so…
*giggles uncontrollably*
…precious.
So let’s see, the guy:
*Has no interest in dating women, and never has
*Has a folder full of attractive shirtless guys
Now, he might not be gay or bisexual. But I don’t think he should dismiss the possibility out of hand. At the very least, maybe spend less time on r/braincels and more time with a therapist. I’m just saying, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that he’s attracted to men but so in denial that he’s lashing out at women — in order to put up a strong defense against being seen as gay. If so, then I hope this helps him figure that out. If nothing else, therapy would help him be less of a schmuck to women, whether he’s straight, gay, bi, ace, or pan, so there’s no downside.
I’m just confused about how a folder of hot dude pictures would even prove certain incel points? That’s just evidence that…hot guys exist? Are they like baseball cards, with stats of how many women they’ve gotten with?
@Jeff Fecke
I’m a bit uncomfortable about speculating on the sexuality of other people. Straight guys can have photos of attractive guys. It’s only toxic masculinity that assumes there must be a sexual reason for it.
@Hidden Turtle
How else are they supposed to measure canthal tilt, wrist circumference, or the billion other measurements they think mean something? Not many concious and breathing people will stay still for that crap.
In that thread, he says he’s 18 and in high school. But someone links to a post he made days earlier in which he claimed to be 25 years old. Sounds like he’s just trolling.
But if he is 18? Dude: plenty of time yet. I get it: I remember the melodrama of being a teenager! But don’t write yourself off so quickly!
Strange, strange, strange, strange…
And I think ye incel doth protest too much…
It’s a nice excuse “oh these images – they’re just for if I’m arguing online…”
It’s not as if merely whipping out a photo is going to prove some weird incel point that only hot men get the women! (Especially when people have eyes and can look around them.)
@Jeff Fecke,
My thoughts too. He would probably find himself happier if he interrogated his feelings properly.
Moggie
I’ll take your word he claimed to be 25 elsewhere. Sounds more 18 to me – but they all do.
I sooo want to comment this but I am busy dying of laughter. Someone please come by to revive me in about 20 minutes.
EDIT: Okay done with that.
I wonder how old the OP is and why his dad has access to his computer. I was of the impression that incels were mostly around their late 20s or early 30s.
On the other hand, there are plenty of valid reasons to have these sort of pics in your PC (being gay included). Pretty much the only non-valid reason is the one stated by the OP.
@Moggie
I’m a member of a Facebook group which posts the strange shit incels says.
We have a member who admitted he had had once thoughts but was working on himself to not give in to what he felt was a developing bitterness towards women for the fact he had never had a girlfriend.
He is 16…
I dunno, I think guys start declaring themselves incels if supermodels aren’t trying to seduce them by puberty. Incel is the new Outsider.
But I agree with Moggie, in this instance. I think this guy is just trolling.
Sounds kind of like thinspo. The pictures are not really there to prove a point or provide motivation or provide any enjoyment. They’re just there to reinforce the collector’s worldview.
Next up, I really did totally trip in the bathtub and fell on a dildo. But everyone at the hospital totally thinks I’m gay.
@Moogie
“But if he is 18? Dude: plenty of time yet. I get it: I remember the melodrama of being a teenager! But don’t write yourself off so quickly!”
I know right? I mean I didn’t have my first date until I was 20 and didn’t meet my wife until 4 years later.
My brother in law has his first real girlfriend at age 26.
And that’s just me and my immediate family. A couple of my friends didn’t start dating until their mid 30s early 40s.
That’s what honestly makes me happy that reddit and the incel thing wasn’t easily found back when I was a teen. I feel like I might have fallen into the same hole these people have.
Now that I’m older I’m glad I didn’t just give up on dating at 18 (seriously besides ace people and the like who does that?)
It just feels like this guy has believed the lie pop culture projects that life ends after highschool.
Yeah, I guess I could see my 18 year old self trying to convince myself that the pictures of hot guys on my PC were for some other reason. Incels both disgust me and make me feel sad. There’s just so much damage toxic masculinity and the patriarchy has done to these guys, but then again, it’s their decision to wallow in their misery.
Posting pics of hot dudes wins arguments online? How? “My hot dude is hotter than yours”? Is that how it works?
Incel logic really is a raging contradiction in terms. I hope his dad is more of a help to him than his fellow haters are.
It’s funny I’m 37 and have never been in a serious relationship (as in the kind where you would introduce your partner to your family) yet I’ve managed to avoid the anger and bitterness some of these young men develop at 16-18. I guess it’s what happens when being in a relationship/having sex becomes an integral part of your identity.
DeimosMasque
Giving up on dating can be very healthy and good IF DONE IN THE RIGHT WAY. If you fill the time you spend on tinder or approaching women in bars getting rejected with instead meditating, reading about politics, walking, travelling it can be good.
Steph- 100% agree. Defining yourself on your romantic success is a recepie to disaster.
I think giving up on dating is unfairly frowned upon.
And also at 16-18 the main concern (especially for males where suicide is the biggest killer) is HAPPINESS. Not dating , not sex, not intimiacy but HAPPINESS. Also direction. Id imagine the 18 year old has college/studies that can define his future- far bigger deal than getting or not getting a date
@Feministguy
“Giving up on dating can be very healthy and good IF DONE IN THE RIGHT WAY. If you fill the time you spend on tinder or approaching women in bars getting rejected with instead meditating, reading about politics, walking, travelling it can be good.”
Absolutely. That’s why I even mentioned asexuals and others who would, for their own reasons, not necessarily seek out partners.
Fill that time with bitterness and anger. And then aim it at the wrong target (honestly as I suggested in my last post it is pop culture that creates the stigma not women.) That’s extremely unhealthy and it seems hard to pull yourself out after entrenching it these vitriolic online communities.
When I wasn’t dating, while I did lament it because my friends all had girlfriends, I didn’t wallow in it (all the time) I focused on my writing, science fiction and RPGs.
Online MUXes actually helped the most as I got that sense of community I desired without it being all about what I didn’t have.
Finally someone who agrees with me:) Thats what I am teaching incels to do ! Im experienced in this field. I think even straight males and females can live without romance in a healthy manner
I like how he continues to not acknowledge that we’ve agreed with him on that point this entire time.
If I were his father I’d much rather he had a folder of men he thought were sexually appealing than a folder of hot men who prove some kind of bizarre grudge he has against women.