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Does giving a woman an orgasm make you a cuck, men who never have sex wonder

Perfectly understandable response to incel bullshit

By David Futrelle

It’s always a little strange to see self-described “involuntary celibates” — that is, guys who by their own admission are currently (and perhaps forever) unable to locate any women who want to fuck them — discussing sex as if they actually have first-hand knowledge about it.

But here are two dudes on the Braincels subreddit earnestly discussing what to them is a major sex controversy: should you bother to give women orgasms, assuming female orgasms even exist?

AjitPaiFan1 Corinthians 7 1 point 17 days ago I don't care whether or not a BITCH gets her cumcums. That's the reality. The thing is, however, hoes talk about getting fucked amongst each other. If you fuck a bitch so hard she starts PISSING involuntarily and squirming like a sea creature (sometimes wrongly conflated with the transcendental male experience called "orgasm"), then every single one of her friends is going to hear about it and want in on the action. Considering the size of the social circle of the average female, making one of them cum opens up the opportunity for fucking dozens of other sheepish, millennial, STD ridden, bangin babes in a casual context. permalinkembedunsavereportgive goldreply [–]derpyderpderp42069[S] 1 point 17 days ago Or you could just fuck another girl whenever you want instead of being a beta cuck trying to please women. Jesus what's wrong with you cucks. "Maybe if I jump through these hoops and give some thot a super orgasm she will tell her friends and they will like me too teeheehee" Sheesh grow some self respect.

I really can’t imagine why women aren’t lining up to bed these fellows.

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kupo
kupo
2 years ago

In conclusion, I have no idea why it worked, then borked, then worked again.

EJ (The Other One)
2 years ago

@feartheminotaur:
Huh. That’s icky as hell. Thanks for sharing.

Re board game groups, that’s a problem a lot of them have. My board games group is managing to stay an awesome place; I credit this to our policy of being openly and loudly SJW, which scares off the actually-boys.

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

kupo:

I believe you also need to drop the s from https

You may be right. But I don’t understand that, because I’ve always just cut and pasted from the address bar. And (at least for me!), youtube always redirects to https if you visit over http, so the URL I paste will presumably always be https. And I’m sure that has worked in the past!

For example, here’s hbomb’s latest, which I’m cut-and-pasting without change, and this is an https link. Let’s see what happens this time:

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

These actually look like typical MGTOW comments, rather than incel. Fine distinction, I know.

Funny how AjitPaiFan notes that women delight this “cumcum” thing, while asserting, in an obvious shit-talking move, that it’s not a real orgasm, because women just can’t do anything properly.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

@Moggie and kupo – That rings a faint bell, dropping the “s” from the URL.

Let me try this video of “Baker Street” being played on a cucumber (because that’s what my brain is now mentally substituting for “cumcum” as a self-preservation mechanism)

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L8xEYKadD5M

Edit: no worky 🙁

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

One more try with full youtube URL and no s:

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

That worked! Thanks kupo!

I don’t understand why youtube shortens the URL in the address bar to “m” instead of “www”. Maybe because I’m on mobile?

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

Yeah, m is mobile.

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

I’m heartened to discover that my enjoyment of Baker Street survives it being played on a cucumber. This blog is so educational.

DawnPurityseeker
DawnPurityseeker
2 years ago

@Buttercup

Mobile urls never embed, so if you’re using a phone/tablet you have to request the desktop site and post the nonsecure version of that.

At least that’s what worked for me.

@Jo

But someone who got their sex education from porn (which is a horrifying common phenomenon) could be very confused about what the typical female orgasm looks like.”

Yup. I think just about *all* the squirting porn I’ve seen has actually been urination, and lesbian or straight it seems like the girls always get there by being jackhammered. I’ve resigned to the fact that men who have had no real experience with women are going to absorb porn myths when even men who have had sex with plenty of women have absorbed them.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

@Moggie – Gerry Rafferty’s music can withstand not only vegetables, but the donning of a trilby. I have immense respect for him.

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

Good music justifies any hat.

It’s a shame Barry Andrews never achieved the same level of success as Rafferty. After all, Rossmore Road is just round the corner from Baker Street (straight http link here):

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

I think @Jo nailed it with this:

But someone who got their sex education from porn (which is a horrifying common phenomenon) could be very confused about what the typical female orgasm looks like.

I’ve mentioned it before, but Doug Ford, current Ontario PC leader, as mentioned he wants to do away with the updated sex ed curriculum. This is the alternative, Doug: a generation of young people educated to think that what they see on PornHub is what sex is.

@Dvärghundspossen

TBF I think a lot of people tend to see sex between a man and a woman this way. It’s the man who does sex. The woman receives sex. And so whether the woman has an orgasm depends solely on the man; he’s the one who’s supposed to give her one.
This is so wrongheaded because clearly sex is something you do together. But I actually think it’s really common to think of sex in this manner.

And this is made worse by 20-30 years of pop culture telling men that female orgasms are somehow some kind of mystical achievement that only the great artisans of lovemaking achieve (thinking Clerks here, primarily, but other sex comedies have touched on this trope like Revenge of the Nerds and American Pie).

Our culture really has some messed up attitudes towards sex in general and these clods latch onto them and burrow in like ticks to justify their overall assholery.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

@Moggie – Yes, Barry Andrews deserves more recognition too.

I wonder if Baker Street and Rossmore Road are both located in Margaritaville?

Zaunfink
Zaunfink
2 years ago

I’ve resigned to the fact that men who have had no real experience with women are going to absorb porn myths when even men who have had sex with plenty of women have absorbed them.

Oh, the jackhammering. Luckily, eben though my guy also got his education through porn, he’s never done that. But we also talked a lot about sex and what we like (and still do). Although – in a targeted, short burst I’ve found it to be surprisingly good.
But we weren’t teenagers when we started having sex. We were adults and I believe that makes all the difference.

@Dvärghundspossen

TBF I think a lot of people tend to see sex between a man and a woman this way. It’s the man who does sex. The woman receives sex. And so whether the woman has an orgasm depends solely on the man; he’s the one who’s supposed to give her one.
This is so wrongheaded because clearly sex is something you do together. But I actually think it’s really common to think of sex in this manner.

It took me literally years – in fact, more than five – to talk the same guy into having quickies (because “but you don’t get anything out of it”. Dude, I told you like three months in that sometimes I just want to enjoy that you don’t hold back.) and through the fact that the world doesn’t end when I don’t have an orgasm and that, if I absolutely want one, I will make sure I have it.
Five years. And that’s in a country with relatively good sex-ed. And he still often feels guilty if I don’t get off.

Jo
Jo
2 years ago

Porn-based sex education is yet another area where men would benefit too (perhaps not quite as much as women, but who’s keeping score?) from the dismantling of a patriarchal system. I’ve heard older gay guys complain that younger men want to fuck in positions that may look good on camera, but aren’t particularly enjoyable. They’ve been learning from porn too. So it’s not just obstructing women’s pleasure, it’s portraying sex that is visually arresting, but not as satisfying as it could be for both parties.

Those who profess to champion men should be raising their voices against porn tropes that reduce men’s pleasure as well as women’s, helping boys learn to work with a partner (of whatever gender) to explore different approaches to sex in order to find the ones that work best for everyone’s pleasure. The chances of MRAs etc. doing that are essentially zero, of course.

Feministguy
Feministguy
2 years ago

Its really really unhealthy for men who cant have sex (not sexually succesful) to watch porn and treat that as what happens in real life.

Every time I speak to an incel/give advise, the first thing we work on is reducing the amount of porn they watch. Because it almost becomes as if they dont just watch it to get their rocks off , they do so they can obsess and fantacise over something so distant they cant get (sex)

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
2 years ago

@Jo
Another reason to oppose the patriarchy and the manosphere, they’re literally ruining porn for everyone.

Kidvelociraptor
2 years ago

Ok, time for some sex ed.

Squirting actually does come from the urethra, as the substance is stored in the bladder. But the fluid that women “squirt” is NOT urine, despite being manufactured by the kidneys, & stored in the bladder. It’s a completely unique fluid. It does have the same basic chemicals contained in urine (what else did you think the kidneys used to manufacture it?), but in radically different proportions.

The fluid does most closely resemble extremely dilute urine, plus female ejaculate that’s expressed from the Skene glands when the squirting happens. For most women, it has no color, scent, or taste. & even if a woman who can squirt reliably pees right before sex or masturbation, the kidneys work overtime during arousal in order to fill the bladder with that unique dilute fluid.

& I don’t know about you, but *I* certainly can’t recreate the high powered firehouse effect of porn squirting when *I* pee. It seems a lot more likely to me that such “squirting” isinstead the result of the powerful autonomic muscle contractions of the pelvic floor muscles caused by the female orgasm.

& for the record, male ejaculate also comes from the urethra, & even contains urea. Does that mean semen is piss? No.

I’m sorry if I came across as rude, most of it was aimed at ignorant incels. But I hope all of you value accurate information about the female body, & female sexuality. Lord knows it hasn’t been valued for most of human history, & I’m trying to change that a tiny bit.

Dr. Thang
Dr. Thang
2 years ago

@Kidvelociraptor

You’re speaking science to guys who think vaginas change shape and color based on how many penises have been in them and that women don’t really have orgasms. Might as well be explaining string theory to a toaster.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

Does anyone else feel like Feministguy is trying to inject incel sad boner updates wherever he can?

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Yeah, that’s clearly all he’s here to do.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
2 years ago

Porn is great! But, like, fellas… Porn is to sex as HK action movies are to martial arts. The real stuff as a bare bones foundation but with the magic of acting and cinematography and editing and lighting and sound and graphical design and wires (well, a certain kinda porn has wires anyway) slapped on top. Becoming sexually active with only porn knowledge is like entering a wushu tournament cos you saw Ip Man a buncha times

@kupo
comment image

DawnPurityseeker
DawnPurityseeker
2 years ago

@Kidvelociraptor

“& I don’t know about you, but *I* certainly can’t recreate the high powered firehouse effect of porn squirting when *I* pee”

Not to quibble with your excellent education on female ejaculation, but I most certainly can urinate with pressure when I’m doing it around something. And it’s not like mainstream porn isn’t known to use some movie magic with it’s ejaculations, male AND female, anyway. 😉

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

@dawnPurityseeker

And it’s not like mainstream porn isn’t known to use some movie magic with it’s ejaculations, male AND female, anyway.

My favorite is when you can just about see the shadow of the guy who’s throwing the whipped cream for the money shot. It’s like the guy with a bat on a stick in Plan Nine from Out Space. I mean, seriously, the dick’s on the left side of the screen. How is the whipped cream coming from the right?

DawnPurityseeker
DawnPurityseeker
2 years ago

@Rabid Rabbit

Lol, oh man, whipped cream?

And I’d thought I’d already seen the worst cinematic effects ever when my high school history class borrowed our parent’s cameras and used ketchup as fake blood to film pretend war documentaries. I totally have to see this porno now.😆

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

I once heard of a local feminist indie porn producer who resorted to portraying actual urination using tea from a ketchup bottle.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

At least I hope it was whipped cream. I shudder to think of the alternatives.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

Kidvelociraptor:

Squirting actually does come from the urethra, as the substance is stored in the bladder. But the fluid that women “squirt” is NOT urine, despite being manufactured by the kidneys, & stored in the bladder. It’s a completely unique fluid. It does have the same basic chemicals contained in urine (what else did you think the kidneys used to manufacture it?), but in radically different proportions.

The fluid does most closely resemble extremely dilute urine, plus female ejaculate that’s expressed from the Skene glands when the squirting happens. For most women, it has no color, scent, or taste. & even if a woman who can squirt reliably pees right before sex or masturbation, the kidneys work overtime during arousal in order to fill the bladder with that unique dilute fluid.

Er, what? There’s conflicting information around on what the female ejaculation actually is, but this one I’ve never heard before. Any fluid stored in the bladder couldn’t remain separate from urine.

Could it be that the fluid you describe is produced in the Skene glands, but the amount is fairly small, and for a heavy squirt to occur there must be a simultaneous leak of urine?

For the record, male ejaculate also comes from the urethra, & even contains urea. Does that mean semen is piss? No.

Semen is not stored in the bladder, but in the prostate, which connects to the urethra, like the Skene glands. (Of course there will be a little mixing with urine residue in the urethra, as you noted.)

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

Rabid Rabbit:

At least I hope it was whipped cream. I shudder to think of the alternatives.

I’ve read that they often use corn starch mixed with cooking oil. No idea whether that’s accurate, and I’ve never mixed that up to see how realistic it looks!

Feministguy
Feministguy
2 years ago

Christ Kupo, why all the hate?

Im trying to get a bunch of hateful men not to be hateful and somehow Im the bad guy?

Zaunfink
Zaunfink
2 years ago

I’ve read that they often use corn starch mixed with cooking oil. No idea whether that’s accurate, and I’ve never mixed that up to see how realistic it looks!

BRB. I will do science to it!

And – what kind of porn are we talking about? Either I’ve never come across it (hehe) or I didn’t pay enough attention. Then again, I’m not a fan of the money shot at all, so…

Zaunfink
Zaunfink
2 years ago

Zaunfinks science department has come to the following conclusion:

Olive oil is a miss, as expected (way too green/yellow).
Both canola and sunflower oil work pretty well, a bit too yellowish but I guess that wouldn’t matter with the right light. Ratio is about 1 tablespoon oil to 2-3 heaped tablespoons starch, I’d say (I eyeballed it).
The feeling is really weird, slimy-gritty.

I guess it would work.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Feministguy,

We explained to you at length in the MGTOW-Gandhi thread why your statements about some men being inherently unable to get sex and why your requests for help in helping the incels are offensive and problematic. You – perhaps purposely – did not listen to and absorb any of it and just continue to repeat your talking points. You have no one to blame but yourself if you’re not getting the reception you want here.

If you truly are here in good faith and want to learn, you need to go read that whole thread from the start of your appearance in it. This time really read it for comprehension. If you keep repeating the line that involuntary celibacy is a real thing, you’re going to keep getting pushback. Your choice.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

@Zaunfink:

So basically, about as convincing as the porn itself?

To answer your question, this was the sort of porn that jokes are made of and that you’d find in video stores back before the internet. Other extremely convincing features were the breasts involved and the attempts at plot.

Feministguy
Feministguy
2 years ago

@treehugger

I dont believe INCEL is a real thing as anyone can pay for sex with money.

Not everyone can achieve everything in life, whether it be romance, academia, sports ect. Ive repeatedly condemed their shitty attitude

Zaunfink
Zaunfink
2 years ago

@rabid rabbit

Yup. I always wonder what people they are made for.

Ohhh. Now I know which kind you mean. There’s a rather infamous sentence used in my whole generation (Afaik, never met someone who didn’t know it) which translates to “wait, why is there straw right here?” that stems from such a porn. Its the non-sequiteur auf non-sequiteurs.

The whole thing is hilarious. There’s trouble with the electricity, so the scantily dressed lady leads the electrician (who is wearing a full mask) to the box. Three lines in she asks the question of all questions about straw, to which he answers “well, blow me!”. And then they fuck. On the straw.
Actually, considering how “blow me” is used in the english language, the dialogue would probably work in english…. A little bit.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
2 years ago

Axecalibur wrote:

Porn is to sex as HK action movies are to martial arts. The real stuff as a bare bones foundation but with the magic of acting and cinematography and editing and lighting and sound and graphical design and wires (well, a certain kinda porn has wires anyway) slapped on top.

Back when I was heavily into martial arts, my sifu used to ask new students – in his intentionally broken, heavily accented English – what kind of kung-fu they wanted to learn. And then he’d quite happily demonstrate some really flashy moves for them, and follow that up with some quick, hard-to-follow moves, to judge what their reaction was. Since he made his money through his martial arts supply store, he didn’t charge for his martial arts classes and was more than willing to reject people he didn’t want to teach.

Anyone who was overly impressed by the flashy moves got assigned to one of the senior students, who was fully aware that their job was to keep the new guy (pretty much always guys) occupied with pushups, sit-ups, and other basic, universal fitness training stuff until they got bored and stopped coming.

I only ever saw one guy who was able to work his way into the real class after falling for the flashy shit.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

@Feministguy
WWTH covered it pretty well already, but I wanted to add that if you want us all to stop giving you the serious side-eye you could start by actually responding to any of the points we’ve made. And read the comments policy.

As of right now by continuing to invade our space to interject with comments we’ve specifically asked you not to where you express sympathy for people who want us dead or enslaved you’re basically confirming that your goal here is to create discomfort.

Analucia Cruz
Analucia Cruz
2 years ago

I could never have sex with a male.
You never know when it’s one of those degenerates… and even if he’s not, most still simply don’t care about you as a person and your pleasure or see sex as a mutual experience. It’s always something they do to you, something they take. They win and you lose.
Most love the shit they see in porn as well.

It’s sometimes saddening, because I do feel lonely and have sexual desires… but I’ll remain a virgin until I die and won’t ever marry or have any relationships. For my own safety and dignity.
I can’t be with someone who sees me as less than them.

Handsome :Punkle Stan: Jack

I could never have sex with a male.
You never know when it’s one of those degenerates…

comment image

DawnPurityseeker
DawnPurityseeker
2 years ago

@FeministGuy

Guy, I hear you. Not everyone is lucky in all areas of life (and finding a good romantic match is sometimes a lot of luck, a lot of being in the right place at the right time). Plus, not everyone is in the right headspace for relationships, not everyone is in a place where they can open their heart up and risk it being broken, even when they yearn for it.

However…

You say you want to help incels with their toxic, hostile misogyny, but you’re drinking from the same water fountain as they are. You lump all women together just like they do. Only difference being that you’re a benevolent sexist instead of a hostile one- you’re the carrot to their stick.

You want us, a forum full of feminists, to advise you in how to turn these shitty, misogynistic, asswipes into kind, benevolent sexists just like you, and you want us to like you for it.

Guy, please. Work on yourself before you work on any of them.

@Zaunfink, @Rabid Rabbit

I think they actually make fake semen out of the same stuff that they make fake blood out of, just goopier and lumpier, and dyed differently. The scenes that I notice it the most in is the creampie type scenes, or the “gallons of cum” money shots. And while if it’s well done it shouldn’t be noticable, I’ve seen some particularly bad squirting videos as well, where they dumbly decided to do a super close up of the actress as she “came”, which made it painfully obvious what was happening. 🤢

Feministguy
Feministguy
2 years ago

How am I a sexist?

I believe in equality and womens rights, so that makes me sexist. I believe all humans need to find each other physically attractive at first to want to date each other. So Im lumping all humans with each other in that statement not just women

Trust me, Im not a carrot to their stick. Things I say make them self reflect and make them feel very uncomfortable

Joel
Joel
2 years ago

Am I the only one who nearly hyperventilated with laughter at the “transcendental male orgasm” line? Man these people are just not wired up to the standards of the Canadian Board of Electricians in the brain department.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

@Feministguy
You could try maybe reading what we’ve already told you is our issue with you instead of building up straw man arguments we never made. You’re clearly not interested in learning from us as you’ve yet to actually pay any attention to anything we’ve said.

I was going to explain what was wrong with what you just said but it’s already been explained to you before, so what’s the point? You don’t care about learning about feminism or becoming a feminist. You only care about stoking those feelings of ostracization because you’re still stuck in the incel mindset. We’re not trying to ostracize you. We wouldn’t waste our time trying to explain things to you if that were the case. But you go ahead and climb up on your cross and we’ll talk to you when you’re ready to come down.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ feministguy

I believe all humans need to find each other physically at first want to date each other.

And lots of people here, through either personal experience or references to society at large, have demonstrated that your assertion is not true. Hence the pushback. You’re implicitly claiming they’re liars .

So Im lumping all humans with each other in that statement not just women

But to reiterate the above, you’re still saying all women are a monolithic hivemind who are lying about their experiences. Saying ‘all men are liars too’ doesn’t mitigate that.

Croquembouche, extrenely mamal omen
Croquembouche, extrenely mamal omen
2 years ago

“Feminist”guy,

Trust me, Im not a carrot to their stick. Things I say make them self reflect and make them feel very uncomfortable

Firstly, citations please. Give us a link to a conversation where that has actually occurred. Because based on your track record here of failing to respond to questions or challenges, I am not inclined to trust you when you say you are a feminist or you are a savior of incels.

While you are at it, you could give us a better understanding of what you think feminism is. Your grasp of the idea doesn’t seem very nuanced to me.

Yet here you are, over and over trying to sell yourself as the guy with all the answers. I imagine the incels read you the same way as I do – who is this person who comes in depicting himself as the font of all wisdom, looking for disciples, when he doesn’t even grasp the situation?

The trouble is, you are approaching the incels from their own perspective, not challenging it. The other problem is, they will ignore you anyway because they are as determined to keep seeing themselves as knowing best, as you are.

You have no credibility in either camp. We here see no reason to bow to your allegedly superior knowledge. (Sorry group, for speaking for the group).

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
2 years ago

@Feministguy

[Trigger warning for racial stereotyping used in the service of an analogy]

Try looking at it like this:

If someone starts talking about how they run a fruit stand, and they really wish they could get some African-American customers, but they can’t because African Americans love watermelons and they only have cantaloupes, I trust you can see why that would be racist as fuck.

…and if that person followed it up by saying “no, no, I’m not blaming African Americans for not coming to my fruit stand; it’s my own fault for not having any watermelons,” that doesn’t make it any less racist.

…and if that person did all of this shit on a Black Lives Matter website, I trust you can see how that might not go over well.

Just in case you’re actually clueless instead of being intentionally dense – which at this point I seriously doubt – the whole “women only date handsome men” crap is the same as “all African Americans like watermelon” shit in the analogy above. The more you cling to your sexist narrative, the less people around here are going to be willing to treat you civilly.

Figure it out or fuck off. I’m pretty sure nobody here cares which you choose at this point.

DawnPurityseeker
DawnPurityseeker
2 years ago

@FeministGuy

A sexist is as a sexist does. And most the people here probably struggle with benevolent or internalized misogyny to some extent, what makes you think that you’re so special that you don’t? I already told you nicely that you need to take a seat, listen, and learn about feminism, because you still have a lot to learn.

Guy, could you explain to me why we will never break free of sexism by embracing benevolent sexism over hostile sexism? Could you even explain what the difference between benevolent sexism and hostile sexism is? Could you explain how they manifest in society?

Take a seat, and listen. You don’t have to check your head at the door, you don’t have to stop thinking for yourself, but you do have to think about what your saying, and you especially have to stop talking over us. Otherwise talking to you is useless, and I might as well start responding to all your posts with gifs of WWE performers hitting each other with chairs, because either way I’ll just be wasting my time.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I’m going to point out once more that Feminist guy never actually denied it when I pointed out that when men say they’re undateable or unfuckable, they don’t mean that every woman on the whole entire planet would reject them. They mean the subset of women who are very conventionally attractive and socially adept seem to prefer men who are also very conventionally attractive and socially adept.

I think there’s a reason this point was ignored.

Another thing, notice how he never described how he looks. He’s just assured us he isn’t attractive enough to attract a woman. I guess this is because whatever trait or set of traits that are supposedly making him undateable is a trait or set of traits possessed by somebody one or more of the male attracted people here have dated.