By David Futrelle
It’s always a little strange to see self-described “involuntary celibates” — that is, guys who by their own admission are currently (and perhaps forever) unable to locate any women who want to fuck them — discussing sex as if they actually have first-hand knowledge about it.
But here are two dudes on the Braincels subreddit earnestly discussing what to them is a major sex controversy: should you bother to give women orgasms, assuming female orgasms even exist?
![AjitPaiFan1 Corinthians 7 1 point 17 days ago I don't care whether or not a BITCH gets her cumcums. That's the reality. The thing is, however, hoes talk about getting fucked amongst each other. If you fuck a bitch so hard she starts PISSING involuntarily and squirming like a sea creature (sometimes wrongly conflated with the transcendental male experience called "orgasm"), then every single one of her friends is going to hear about it and want in on the action. Considering the size of the social circle of the average female, making one of them cum opens up the opportunity for fucking dozens of other sheepish, millennial, STD ridden, bangin babes in a casual context. permalinkembedunsavereportgive goldreply [–]derpyderpderp42069[S] 1 point 17 days ago Or you could just fuck another girl whenever you want instead of being a beta cuck trying to please women. Jesus what's wrong with you cucks. "Maybe if I jump through these hoops and give some thot a super orgasm she will tell her friends and they will like me too teeheehee" Sheesh grow some self respect.](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/ry7ctuf8vyig9uohjp.png?resize=580%2C615&ssl=1)
I really can’t imagine why women aren’t lining up to bed these fellows.
@EJ RE: Millennials
I’ve heard a lot of folks treat the term Millennial pejoratively like we did “Yuppie” back in the day. To them it’s a lifestyle they disapprove of instead of a shorthand for the range of dates someone was born in.
Last time it happened to me was last month in the game store*. Some dude started telling me how lucky I was to be gay. How straight dudes are stuck with “diseased millennial cows that look like Lena Dunham**”. He made it pretty clear he considered it an insult not an adjective.
* An increasingly hostile atmosphere lately. Euro board games are awesome, but sadly, also the ultimate ‘well, actually’ event.
**I suspect this boogeyman could be substituted with anyone their hive mind disapproves of.
@kupo – What, you don’t trust me? 😀
(It’s the “hey dum dum, you give me gum gum?” scene from Night At The Museum, in case you were wondering)
How does one get video links to embed? I used to be able to, but my wordpress skills seem to have atrophied.
Maybe someday you’ll heed it?
@moggie
I googles, saw a pic that looked relatively cute, saw another one with many many legs and really quickly closed the tab. Now I’m going to try to sleep. I should have listened!
@Buttercup
I was assuming it was something about cumcum (I feel ridiculous typing that).
“Dear” incels:
That picture makes me think somewhere there’s someone going “Hang on, this is catnip; who’s snaffled our weed!”
Wow, these guys have such fun notions of sexytimes, don’t they? Also, “giving a woman an orgasm” always makes me smile:
“here you go, I got you an orgasm! It’s a present, from me to you.”
“It’s … it’s the wrong size.”
@Buttercup
Same here; I’ve asked Google a few times but no luck aside from the usual “paste the url in its own line & make sure it’s not hyperlinked” etc.
How would you know tho!? This is the grown ass internet version of the 1st boy to touch a boob having to try and splain to all the other boys how girls’ bodies work, making shit up as he goes along
It sounds like the first guy actually hates the idea of getting attention. “Don’t make a woman orgasm, because she will tell her friends and then all those gross women will go after you” is how I read this. His wording also makes it sound like he enjoys orgasm but is disgusted by other parts of sex. Maybe these incels are simply grossed out by sex in general and that’s why they can’t get laid. They go “Oh woe is me!” because their sexual abstinence challenges their masculinity; but really they never even tried because sex is gross and girls have cooties.
First off, dear incels, I know you’re not having any sex, but if somehow it ever comes about that you do, and the woman you are with pees herself involuntarily, this means one of two things: (a) you’ve been inopportune and initiated sexytimes whilst her bladder was a bit too full to cope with the outcome, (b) you’ve been VERY inopportune and she’s afraid of you.
Secondly @Penny Psmith, I can clear up the confusion, but you won’t like the answer. The point for the angry incel is not that it’s mutual or that he gets enjoyment, but the fact that he gets more enjoyment if his partner is not getting hers. Sex is not only pleasure and validation for him, but also a form of incel schadenfreude.
The aauthorof the reddit post wonders why he doesn’t get laid at all?
Let me say it loud
BEDROOM SELFISHNESS
It is usually unattractive to most women who like males.
Once again proving it was never their looks it’s their personality
Yes, the first thing I do after peeing the bed is make sure my entire social circle of female friends knows about it.
And then we all swarm the Orgasm Giver, because female orgasms are so incredibly rare, we would topple governments to get a few moments of squirming incontinence. The kind that only a dude who really hates women can accidentally provide.
(God, these people are so bad at people.)
@Mish – I tried Googling too, but couldn’t get video embedding to work. Guess we’ll have to use our words?
I’m pretty sure these guys have first-hand knowledge about sex.
It’s sex with a partner that’s a challenge for them. That’s true for most people. But most people don’t get on the InterWebz to say vile things about the people who won’t bed them.
Incels: Brush up on your people skills!
@Penny Psmith
Be happy about that.
Re: “Millennial” as a pejorative – My conservative family and coworkers seem to use it as shorthand for “entitled liberal whiny snowflake who also happens to be a young adult”.
…So, I’m just going to say, being a trans woman, and therefore having the relatively unusual privilege of experiencing *both* male and female orgasms, uhhh, well, if there’s any of the two that’s “transcendental”, it’s the female one.
There’s a reason that women tend to be screamers more often then men.
(Your mileage may vary, of course!)
There is definitely porn where women are supposedly squirting but in reality peeing based on the vast quantities involved. (To be clear, I’m not talking about female ejaculation in general, just videos where the sustained firehose effect could only be supplied by something with the capacity of a bladder.)
I think there are some markets where local regulations prohibit urine in porn, so this might be an attempt to circumvent those rules. Or it might be a side-effect of the bigger-is-better attitude to aspects of sexuality in some porn. ‘Our videos are better because the girls squirt more than all the others’ being the general idea.
I’m not excusing the incelery in the post – I’m pretty sure he’s referring to pee because he sees it as a dig against women’s sexuality. But someone who got their sex education from porn (which is a horrifying common phenomenon) could be very confused about what the typical female orgasm looks like.
So the way I read it, summarized:
Incel #1: I don’t care about making women have orgasms, but it might make women more likely to want to have sex with me.
Incel #2: You’re a cuck for wanting to make women want to have sex with you, have sex with them anyway!
So, sounds like #2 is literally saying rape is the only manly option.
Buttercup Q. Skullpants:
I feel as clueless as an incel writing about sex, but I think it only recognises certain domains. Let’s test this. First I’ll post that Night at the Museum clip using a http://www.youtube.com URL:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-gPqfZI-r8
In the next comment, I’ll use the shortened URL you posted.
Huh, that didn’t embed either. So much for that theory. Anyway, here’s your youtu.be URL, which presumably won’t embed either:
https://youtu.be/Q-gPqfZI-r8
I’ve certainly pasted in http://www.youtube.com URLs recently and had them successfully embed, so it’s a mystery.
Since I’m a virgin, my only experience with this comes from reading smutty fanfiction, but with the whole “pissing” thing, I figured Incel #1 was referring to squirting. If the choice is between a guy who’s skilled enough to make a girl squirt and wants her to have pleasure or these idiots-well, not really much of a choice, is it?
Incels watching porn is so unhealthy, just makes them obsess more over something they cant get
TBF I think a lot of people tend to see sex between a man and a woman this way. It’s the man who does sex. The woman receives sex. And so whether the woman has an orgasm depends solely on the man; he’s the one who’s supposed to give her one.
This is so wrongheaded because clearly sex is something you do together. But I actually think it’s really common to think of sex in this manner.
@Moggie
I believe you also need to drop the s from https. Let’s test.
Edit: yep, that worked. To recap:
1) use the full http://www.youtube.com url
2) use the http protocol, not https
Edit 2: Whaaat it broke. Does it have to be the last thing?
Edit 3: Whaaat, still borked.