15 tweets about “weaponized vaginas” that may cause yours to sew itself shut

By David Futrelle

A couple of years ago, some terrible person came up with the phrase “weaponized vagina” to refer to the alleged power of women to quickly and easily take down powerful men and make a ton of money in the process by falsely accusing them of rape or sexual harassment.

For some reason the phrase got into my head last night, and so I decided to see if anyone was still using it. The answer, of course, was yes.

So here are 15 tweets about “weaponized vaginas” that might cause yours, if you have one, to sew itself shut.

"Weaponized Vaginas" are more dangerous than guns. From abortion to accusations of early sexual experiences; No age group safe from terror.

— Gary Campbell (@souperfan2012) November 22, 2017

I’m glad all of my sexual advances were met with strong acceptance and everlasting bliss.

I’m also glad I’m not terribly wealthy. Because the common denominator with these “victims” is how much money a weaponized vagina can earn them.

— Frank d'Anconia (@LoveToLead1) January 18, 2018

Don’t let the weaponized vagina created to hurt men convince you that there will not be penance for false accusations. Because acting like a victim is more than unattractive it only makes you prey.

— Robert A. Green (@RobertAlenGreen) December 24, 2017

This weaponized Vagina crap is getting out of hand , we must punish those who use sex as a weapon, this must not trend. https://t.co/ZObz56kSfC

— Ken white (@Kenwhite4444) April 25, 2017

This is one woman I do not want to date She has weaponized her Vagina
There seems to be a WAR ON MEN

— Crocodile News (@crocodilianews) January 30, 2018

I told you guys… vagina has been weaponized.
For the time being, you're better off taking "matters" in hand. pic.twitter.com/8RegEZgino

— Charles Hayes (@hazenoff) January 15, 2018

The Democrat Party and their Fake News Media have politically weaponized the Vagina to use against their Political Opponents…Pure Communist Alinsky Tactics… The Assault Vagina is the New Political Weapon of choice for the desperate Democrat Party and their Fake News Media… https://t.co/Ur1bJdUWMP

— LouisianaFool (@LouisianaFool) December 21, 2017

Wow your picture is even hotter than the voice had me thinking. Hope that’s not harassment I have been trying not to commit it since the democrats weaponized the vagina and made me a walking risk management nightmare.

— Robert A. Green (@RobertAlenGreen) December 20, 2017

Vagina has been weaponized. This is not a drill. Get a 2d waifu. A woman used to be able to take half your shit, when she was your wife. Now, a woman from 40 years ago can accuse you of something, and you lose your whole life's work. Pussy ain't worth it.

— Charles Hayes (@hazenoff) December 16, 2017

A recent study shows that female humans have weaponized their vaginas to suck the male's will to live out of their souls.

— Edge Pleb (@PlebofKekistan) October 12, 2017

You think it’s bad that the FBI and DOJ have been weaponized? There’s nothing more lethal than when a woman weaponizes is her pussy. @NYorNothing

— Maestro Amedeo (@MaestroAmedeo) March 30, 2018

Yep…..those sexbots are gonna look pretty cheap in about a year after all the job losses, firings, real and false litigation, and weaponized pussy yet to be identified by Gloria Allmedia and her crackerJack ass-master Lisa….!!!

— KeepAmericaGREAT (@MAGA2020too) December 14, 2017

Nothing says "sincere" like a porn star whore claiming that somebody sexually assaulted her! How do you assault a weaponized pussy? #nitwits

— Frank d'Anconia (@LoveToLead1) October 31, 2017

Exactly, some women weaponized the pussy, then it becomes worthless! Wow I just described the majority of divorced women! Lol 😎

— David__Kaino (@David__Kaino) January 20, 2018

Weaponized vajayjay is now fully implemented…..be guided accordingly. No closed door meetings, no dining, no drinking, have a chapparone if you are CEO/Board memeber. NO Christmas Parties or "Choir Practice" after work……..Have fun in the "weaponized" vj chronicles….! pic.twitter.com/D5LjR0331P

— KeepAmericaGREAT (@MAGA2020too) November 29, 2017

Here’s a BONUS TWEET that’s more baffling than anything else:

WHEN THE SOVIET UNION COLLAPSED THEY WEAPONIZED 3 THINGS, THE INTERNET, MONEY AND THE VAGINA! TWO ITEMS ARE COMPLICATED SO FOLLOW THE MONEY!

— james m breen (@corlearjbre) July 19, 2017

As it turns out, those devious females can weaponize things other than vaginas:

When my dog is mad at me, she turns around in her bed so her butt is closer to me and then she farts in my general direction à la Monty Python. She has weaponized her farts.

DIBS ON WEAPONIZED FART AS MY NEW DRAG NAME AND/OR BAND NAME

— ursula the seawitch (@geektastik) February 2, 2018

From now on, I would like to propose that we ban all usage of the term “weaponized vagina” (including synonyms) except to refer to:

That Pokemon that looks like one

Liz Phair cover bands

Dolphin vaginas 

Duck vaginas

This gal’s vagina: