15 tweets about “weaponized vaginas” that may cause yours to sew itself shut

This is actually a Pokemon

By David Futrelle

A couple of years ago, some terrible person came up with the phrase “weaponized vagina” to refer to the alleged power of women to quickly and easily take down powerful men and make a ton of money in the process by falsely accusing them of rape or sexual harassment.

For some reason the phrase got into my head last night, and so I decided to see if anyone was still using it. The answer, of course, was yes.

So here are 15 tweets about “weaponized vaginas” that might cause yours, if you have one, to sew itself shut.

"Weaponized Vaginas" are more dangerous than guns. From abortion to accusations of early sexual experiences; No age group safe from terror.

— Gary Campbell (@souperfan2012) November 22, 2017

https://twitter.com/LoveToLead1/status/953980456558645248

https://twitter.com/RobertAlenGreen/status/944764529912795136

This weaponized Vagina crap is getting out of hand , we must punish those who use sex as a weapon, this must not trend. https://t.co/ZObz56kSfC

— Ken WHITE (@Kenwhite4444) April 25, 2017

This is one woman I do not want to date She has weaponized her Vagina
There seems to be a WAR ON MEN

— Crocodile News (@crocodilianews) January 30, 2018

https://twitter.com/hazenoff/status/952881542875041792

The Democrat Party and their Fake News Media have politically weaponized the Vagina to use against their Political Opponents…Pure Communist Alinsky Tactics… The Assault Vagina is the New Political Weapon of choice for the desperate Democrat Party and their Fake News Media… https://t.co/Ur1bJdUWMP

— America First Forever (@LouisianaFool) December 21, 2017

https://twitter.com/RobertAlenGreen/status/943274294418735105

https://twitter.com/hazenoff/status/941999931673411584

https://twitter.com/PlebofKekistan/status/918284786174701568

https://twitter.com/MaestroAmedeo/status/979555631131693056

https://twitter.com/MAGA2020too/status/941122334743609345

https://twitter.com/LoveToLead1/status/925437438046212096

https://twitter.com/David__Kaino/status/954802581112532998

https://twitter.com/MAGA2020too/status/935861269231308806

Here’s a BONUS TWEET that’s more baffling than anything else:

https://twitter.com/corlearjbre/status/887732498935013377

As it turns out, those devious females can weaponize things other than vaginas:

When my dog is mad at me, she turns around in her bed so her butt is closer to me and then she farts in my general direction à la Monty Python. She has weaponized her farts.

DIBS ON WEAPONIZED FART AS MY NEW DRAG NAME AND/OR BAND NAME

— mad madam mim (@geektastik) February 2, 2018

From now on, I would like to propose that we ban all usage of the term “weaponized vagina” (including synonyms) except to refer to:

That Pokemon that looks like one

Liz Phair cover bands

Dolphin vaginas

Duck vaginas

This gal’s vagina:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcYv3SkBlc4