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Tantalize your brain with five baffling MGTOW memes!

So MGTOW makes you age ten times faster than married people?

By David Futrelle

So brain teasers are supposed to keep your brain nimble, right? In that case, after all the years I’ve spent trying to make sense of misogynist nonsense I must be some kind of supergenius by now. I have to say I don’t feel any different, brainwise, but maybe that’s because I was a supergenius all along and I just didn’t realize it?

Anyway,trying to figure out these MGTOW memes may help you all get on my level. Take that first one. As far as my supergenius mind can figure it, the meme maker wanted to say that if guys refuse to get married they can look forward to growing old happily with all their MGTOW buds. But what the meme seems to be saying is that MGTOW is some sort of rapid-aging disease that will turn you into an old codger in, like, a year.

If you have a better explanation, let me know.

Here’s some others that I find equally baffling.

Que?

The problem with this one isn’t that it’s in Spanish. I’m pretty good at figuring out Spanish-language memes, at least if they involve someone asking someone else where the library is. This meme is a little more complicated than that, but with a few assists from Google Translate I’ve got the basic idea of what each person in this meme is saying.

The feminists are calling MGTOWs male chauvinists. The PUAs are calling them beta losers. Some dude with his shirt open is calling them, well, a homophobic slur. And the Nazis are saying that MGTOW is a Jewish invention. (I don’t know who exactly that person in blue is supposed to represent, but I suspect you can figure out what they’re saying even if you don’t know Spanish.)

Meanwhile our poor beleaguered MGTOW in the Middle just wants to be free.

So far so good. What I want to know is WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING IN THE MIDDLE? And WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE? WHY ARE THE FEMINISTS JUST A COUPLE OF SEVERED HEADS? WHY ARE SO MANY OF THESE DUDES MISSING THE LOWER HALF OF THEIR BODIES?

I think this is supposed to be an indictment of feminism for causing people to write songs less efficiently, or something? What it really shows is that if you sample another song in your song you have to give the original artist(s) and producer(s) credit and some money.

Also, while Bohemian Rhapsody was basically Freddie Mercury’s baby — and one he’d been working on for more than five years — it’s officially credited to Freddy Mercury/Queen because the other members contributed to it. So that’s four people. The song was a massive group effort that took a month and a half to rehearse and record. 

I guess the big question with this one is why the dude in the cartoon is being such a dick.

Er, what?

I must be missing something here because I have no clue what the point is supposed to be. Yes, “manginas” probably talk to women a lot more than MGTOWs do. Of course, MGTOWs spend more time talking and thinking about women than anyone else on earth including gynecologists and the board of directors of the National Organization for Women.

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Shadowplay
6 years ago

Who has the time to read on the bog anyways? (partner, 6 kids, one bathroom – we installed traffic lights.)

Nequam
Nequam
6 years ago

A rockin’ song with dumb lyrics:

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
6 years ago

Poor Freddy Mercury. I seem to remember the fact that he was suffering from AIDS being announced by the US media, just one day prior to his death.

The one with the guy on the toilet reminds me of how I was once driving through New York state, east to west. I hadda pee, but I thought I could wait for the next rest area. Well, I couldn’t, and I took an exit off the highway and stopped at a gas station. By this time, I was in real pain. An elderly woman entered the bathroom before I did. This was a one-stall bathroom. This woman was in that bathroom for 20 minutes! 20 MINUTES!! I wanted to stomp on her head when she finally came out. What the hell could she have possibly been doing in there? I was ready to take my chances, and use the men’s room.

Then I got back on the highway, and after 10 minutes of driving, there was a rest area.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
6 years ago

…I could say something about musicians…

London Pilgrim
London Pilgrim
6 years ago

In my view MGTOW is not a destination but a journey. A man must separate from women when he is in pain and is entitled to do so… nobody owns another human being.

Eventually he heals and sometimes returns to the life that is expected of him.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
6 years ago

Even more baffling:

comment image

Yes, this guy is simultaneously blaming Hillary for Tim Allen losing his show over his racist rants and for Roseanne getting her show in spite of her racist rants.

GenJones
GenJones
6 years ago

Lord mercy, was I relieved to finally move into our 2 bed, 2 bath so my partner could have a hobby space that wasn’t the dining table and we could both have our morning after-coffee toilet time.

What exactly is the intended message of the Beyonce vs. Queen one? According to my research, the other folks credited on that song were men. The meme only sampled the lyrics of the chorus, the song has way more lyrics. Also, it doesn’t really take into account that particular music video emphasizes choreography, filmography and costume design that Bohemian Rhapsody didn’t have, so yeah, obviously it needs a director. You could also easily spin a counter example by selecting a song from Joplin, or Nina Simone or Dolly Parton against a song written by a man with goofy, repetitive lyrics like, ugh, I don’t know….

Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle

Races are coming your way
So forget all your duties oh yeah
Fat bottomed girls they’ll be riding today
So look out for those beauties oh yeah

Oh whoops, veered into not very MGTOW-friendly territory at the end bit there….

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I don’t think this Queen song is very MGTOW friendly. Peace? Everyone on earth living in harmony and being friends? No way! We need to divide the US by the Mississippi River and put men on one side women on the other. Men and women living in harmony and being friends? Please.

“The Miracle”

Every drop of rain that falls in Sahara Desert says it all,
It’s a miracle,
All God’s creations great and small, the Golden Gate and the Taj Mahal,
That’s a miracle,
Test tube babies being born, mothers, fathers dead and gone,
It’s a miracle,
We’re having a miracle on earth, mother nature does it all for us,
The wonders of this world go on, the hanging Gardens of Babylon,
Captain Cook and Cain and Able, Jimi Hendrix to the Tower of Babel
It’s a miracle, it’s a miracle, it’s a miracle, it’s a miracle,
The one thing we’re all waiting for, is peace on earth – an end to war,
It’s a miracle we need – the miracle, the miracle we’re all waiting for today,
If every leaf on every tree, could tell a story that would be a miracle,
If every child on every street, had clothes to wear and food to eat,
That’s a miracle,
If all God’s people could be free, to live in perfect harmony,
It’s a miracle, we’re having a miracle on earth,
Mother nature does it all for us
Open hearts and surgery, Sunday mornings with a cup of tea,
Super powers always fighting,
But Mona Lisa just keeps on smiling,

The wonders of this world go on,
It’s a miracle, it’s a miracle, it’s a miracle, it’s a miracle,
The one thing we’re all waiting for, is peace on earth and an end to war,
It’s a miracle we need, the miracle, the miracle,
Peace on earth and end to war today,
That time will come one day you’ll see when we can all be friends,
[repeat …]

For those of you that are newer and haven’t heard about all the trolls of yore yet, we had a troll that actually did want to divide the country into two separate states for the two genders. I don’t believe he ever answered where the non-binary people would go. Maybe on river boats on the Mississippi? They could run the casinos.

ETA: And because I don’t think anyone mentioned it yet, Mercury was South Asian of Parsi descent. His birth name was Farrokh Bulsara and he was born in Tanzania. Wouldn’t that make him what miggy toes often call a “rapefugee?”

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
6 years ago

@wwth

That would definitely be an interesting life, floating around on a riverboat for all eternity. On the other hand, I don’t believe that particular person would’ve recognized non-binary genders and forced separation based on designation at birth.

I prefer your idea, obviously.

tim gueguen
6 years ago

“Killer Queen” is a better song than “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

By the reasoning of the Beyoncé/Freddy Mercury comparison a film made by a couple of friends on their phone cameras is better artistically than Casablanca. After all it involved far fewer people.

If someone has been sitting on a toilet for an hour I’d be worried they’re either badly constipated, or suffering from horrible diarrhea.

Shartheheretic
Shartheheretic
6 years ago

I was recently looking at one of the online t-shirt sellers that let pretty much anyone create their own designs. In the “feminism” section, there were quite a few that were obviously “designed” by MGTOWs. They had the same rambling, excessive verbiage that their memes do. Only in t-shirt form. ?

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Totally off topic, but today the grocery store had a display of Velveeta Liquid Gold dinners and I almost guffawed right there because it reminded me of the PUA who was going on about his sperm being liquid fucking gold a few years ago.

http://www.themplsegotist.com/sites/www.themplsegotist.com/files/images/Screen%20Shot%202014-02-17%20at%2011.35.20%20PM.png

Tee hee!

kupo
kupo
6 years ago

@WWTH
I believe nursing mothers also call their breast milk liquid gold (for much better reasons, of course), but either way you’re getting a bodily fluid.

Shadowplay
6 years ago

I’d almost managed to forget about that particular dolt. 😛

Anyte
Anyte
6 years ago

Nearly everyone are supergeniuses compared to these mgtow. That there are men who created these memes, let alone that there other men who believe them, is astounding.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
6 years ago

My point was that the post I was referring to just made a vague statement, likely to agree with the sentiments of most of the people here, but void of any substantive new content, argument, or insight. Thus its purpose seemed less to communicate anything new about the topic at hand so much as just to solicit approval. Especially as it was coming from someone who the community has been somewhat skeptical towards, thus far.

kupo
kupo
6 years ago

@Surplus to Requirements
I agree with you on this one.

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
6 years ago

WWTH,

Ah, yes. Anthony Zarat, aka Antz. He of the FOREIGN BRIDE fame.

ETA: I meant the guy who wanted to divide the country, not the liquid gold guy.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, FemiNest Collective agent, Hell Toupee keeper & Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, FemiNest Collective agent, Hell Toupee keeper & Intergalactic Meanie
6 years ago

@Dormousing_it,

Speaking as someone who’s worked gas stations before, it is permissible for folks of one gender to use the other gender’s bathroom in that kind of situation, or similar. The rules are 1. No-one else needs to use that restroom at that time (like, in your case, no guy was waiting to use it); 2. Get in and out as fast as you can manage it; and 3. If ‘caught’, apologize and explain you really had to go. The majority of folks will understand, I’m sure.

OT: a decal I saw today across the back window of a huge pickup/SUV-style truck in drive-thru. “I’m proud of my ENORMOUS carbon footprint.” That is…just… >.< Why take pride in something like that?

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

@Redsilkphoenix

Why take pride in something like that?

To piss you off. That’s literally the reason. “‘Libs’ think carbon is bad, therefore I’m going to go out of my way to make more”. see also ‘rolling coal’

TreePerson
TreePerson
6 years ago

@Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer
I consider those anti-environmentalist people enemies of Humanity and all life on Sol III.

The Real Cie
The Real Cie
6 years ago

So, the dumbass in that one meme has been sitting on the can for an hour and feels put out because his housemate is knocking on the door when he’s been sitting there forever. I hope his butt falls asleep.
I keep wondering when these douchewads are going to go their own way and leave the rest of us alone.

Moggie
Moggie
6 years ago

WWTH:

Totally off topic, but today the grocery store had a display of Velveeta Liquid Gold dinners and I almost guffawed right there because it reminded me of the PUA who was going on about his sperm being liquid fucking gold a few years ago.

Wow, that was longer ago than I thought: September 2013. To anyone who wasn’t around for that: you owe it to yourself to listen to Sarumangry’s dramatic reading of that rant, which is one of the best things ever. Here’s David’s post on it.

Vainamoinen
Vainamoinen
6 years ago

The cartoon up there has been repurposed for MGTOW purposes, and I really think that this should be acknowledged in the article. The artist’s name is Yehuda Devir, he’s actually the dude in the cartoon, and he’s one of the good ones! He’s recording the real-life everyday little battles with his girlfriend, and if he left her for the MGTOW cause, his whole life and cartoon series would fall apart. 😐

Catalpa
Catalpa
6 years ago

My general rule of thumb is: if the bathroom is a single-person affair (i.e. There is just one toilet in the room and no stall walls) then it doesn’t really matter what the sign on the door says, it’s a unisex bathroom. I suppose if there was a line-up for both the men’s and women’s room but the men’s was shorter, I wouldn’t line up for the men’s, but otherwise there’s not really any difference, imo.