Tantalize your brain with five baffling MGTOW memes!

By David Futrelle

So brain teasers are supposed to keep your brain nimble, right? In that case, after all the years I’ve spent trying to make sense of misogynist nonsense I must be some kind of supergenius by now. I have to say I don’t feel any different, brainwise, but maybe that’s because I was a supergenius all along and I just didn’t realize it?

Anyway,trying to figure out these MGTOW memes may help you all get on my level. Take that first one. As far as my supergenius mind can figure it, the meme maker wanted to say that if guys refuse to get married they can look forward to growing old happily with all their MGTOW buds. But what the meme seems to be saying is that MGTOW is some sort of rapid-aging disease that will turn you into an old codger in, like, a year.

If you have a better explanation, let me know.

Here’s some others that I find equally baffling.

The problem with this one isn’t that it’s in Spanish. I’m pretty good at figuring out Spanish-language memes, at least if they involve someone asking someone else where the library is. This meme is a little more complicated than that, but with a few assists from Google Translate I’ve got the basic idea of what each person in this meme is saying.

The feminists are calling MGTOWs male chauvinists. The PUAs are calling them beta losers. Some dude with his shirt open is calling them, well, a homophobic slur. And the Nazis are saying that MGTOW is a Jewish invention. (I don’t know who exactly that person in blue is supposed to represent, but I suspect you can figure out what they’re saying even if you don’t know Spanish.)

Meanwhile our poor beleaguered MGTOW in the Middle just wants to be free.

So far so good. What I want to know is WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING IN THE MIDDLE? And WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE? WHY ARE THE FEMINISTS JUST A COUPLE OF SEVERED HEADS? WHY ARE SO MANY OF THESE DUDES MISSING THE LOWER HALF OF THEIR BODIES?

I think this is supposed to be an indictment of feminism for causing people to write songs less efficiently, or something? What it really shows is that if you sample another song in your song you have to give the original artist(s) and producer(s) credit and some money.

Also, while Bohemian Rhapsody was basically Freddie Mercury’s baby — and one he’d been working on for more than five years — it’s officially credited to Freddy Mercury/Queen because the other members contributed to it. So that’s four people. The song was a massive group effort that took a month and a half to rehearse and record. 

I guess the big question with this one is why the dude in the cartoon is being such a dick.

I must be missing something here because I have no clue what the point is supposed to be. Yes, “manginas” probably talk to women a lot more than MGTOWs do. Of course, MGTOWs spend more time talking and thinking about women than anyone else on earth including gynecologists and the board of directors of the National Organization for Women.