By David Futrelle
Martin Luther King was famously influenced by Gandhi’s philosophy of nonviolent resistance. So, apparently, are the high-minded civil rights activists of the Men Going Their Own Way movement. Only they hope that they can use this powerful tactic to make the women who won’t have sex with them feel bad about themselves.
Yes, fellows. I’m sure women will be absolutely heartbroken to learn that they will be deprived of you.
But if you’re really going to get serious about this whole nonviolent resistance thing you might want to learn how to spell the name “Gandhi.”
I think stoicism does help, it might not be the best solution, but its much better than what the incels are doing right now.
And I said romance, I never said companionship. And I think incels do lack someone to talk to, some love which they confuse for romance. I think if incels did magically have sex they still would be as they are, their lives wouldnt actually significantly improve. Companionship is someone that you can talk to, share your problems with, without feeling judged. Does not have to be in the romantic form.
Incels can find love, and they need to start with close friends and family. Again, there are lots of different forms of love, other than the romantic. You can be happy without romance, but its harder to be happy without any love/companionship
And do incels desperately want sex? If so they can just go to a brothel. I think its more validation and someone to spend time with they want. The fact that they cant get laid is the LEAST of their problems. They need goals, happiness, something to look forward to. Something to get them up in the morning. Majority of them dont have that.
@Shadowplay, DeimosMasque (hey, I recognize you!), Scildfreja (hey, I spelled it correctly the first time this time!):
Aw, thanks. I’ve had a lot of time to think over the ways that online interactions work, especially prompted by some of the things I’ve read around here and general observations of other forums.
@Mish:
I love talking about academic work, though it’s not anything particularly new at the moment since I’m just at the end of my second year of undergraduate studies. But I did just submit an application to do a combined Honors degree in English and Classics, and after this term I’ll find out if my English GPA is high enough to get accepted into it, which is equal parts terrifying and exciting.
@Axecaliber: Middle Name Danger
So this is kinda random, but I wanted to thank you for something. You’ve always pushed back against anyone who used ‘virgin’ as an insult, and I really appreciate that.
Also, you really have a way with gifs. ^_^
@Prophet
Ayyy! I member you. Ain’t seen ya in a while, welcome back 😀
Ofc! And thanks. I (and others here who’ve spoken out against that sorta thing too) would do it for goodness’ sake/self defense as it were, but nice to hear it’s helped others too *fist bump*
^w^
So, I’ve written and rewritten this a bunch of times, so I’ll just post this and be done. Thank thank you everyone who responded with patience and kindness to my stupidity. It means more than you guys know, because a lot of people can’t handle panic, especially out in meatspace. ? Sorry that I’m only just posting this now, a day later.
@Shadowplay
I was starting to drink quite heavily about 14 years ago, but I stopped. I never really ever got hungover then, but I don’t seem to be able to drink now without becoming violently, violently ill the next morning, even if I keep things to a couple of light standard sized drinks. I don’t drink that often, either, and I’m not on any medications right now.
But, thanks for the bluntness (even though Valentin was right and it wasn’t awesome for my panic. ?). I’ll be sure to talk to the quacker about it. ?
And now to change the subject-
@WWTH
Nope, and I’m pretty sure that I read similar in The Gift of Fear, so you’re in good company. 🙂
@Mish
OMG I’m so sorry I missed you. ☹
Those guys are precious. Of course it’s not fair- living with someone else always involves some amount of sacrifice to keep the other person happy.
Like, I don’t know, sacrificing a career in order to take care of the house so that your spouse can concentrate on becoming a CEO? (Or maybe they think CEOs can wear dirty shirts, and always run late because they can’t find anything. 😆). With these guys, invisible labor is always invisible until they’re the ones doing it. I personally don’t think that they’ll ever appreciate shit-it would interfere with their self-absorbed “self-made” hero narrative too much. -_- The flip side of women being able to spend less time on housework once they divorce, is now the exs have to spend more time, and all without the option of getting lauded as “amazing husbands” for doing it. 😉
This has all been very enjoyable, informative reading. I have only this to contribute: seeing it spelled ‘Ghandi’ drives me absolutely Librarian-poo.* I’m generally quite mild-mannered and soft-spoken, but for some reason that pushes a very large button. You’d think he’d been my favorite middle school teacher.
*Yes, a Discworld reference.
@Dawn – realise I’m coming in pretty late, but I actually read these comments while on the recovering end of exactly the symptoms you described after a drinking session (though less the vomiting, admittedly – I was nauseous and low appetite but not actually sick).
It occurred to me yesterday, when those symptoms recurred, that they’re actually also migraine symptoms, and that when I think about it, I’ve tended to be more susceptible to migraines after drinking. Which makes sense – after all, both drunkenness and migraine are essentially neurological imbalances.
I guess what I’m saying is, do you also get migraines? If so, do you think it’s possible that we experience these symptoms because heavy drinking may be triggering them?