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MGTOWs: We’re all about crushing women’s egos, which makes us basically Gandhi, if you think about it

Gandhi, crushing the egos of two women at once

By David Futrelle

Martin Luther King was famously influenced by Gandhi’s philosophy of nonviolent resistance. So, apparently, are the high-minded civil rights activists of the Men Going Their Own Way movement. Only they hope that they can use this powerful tactic to make the women who won’t have sex with them feel bad about themselves.

geocitiesuser 85 points 5 months ago Mgtow argues against associating with women, means less potential mates to choose from. This is the number one reason I throw my support behind mgtow. I as an individual can do nothing to punish these c*nts, but this mgtow "seed" could potentially crash the cock market for them, and force them back to a position of not just moral behavior, but crush the self entitlement and ego out of them. That would make me happy. I wish I could see it in my lifetime. permalinkembedsavereportgive goldreply [–]NietzscheExplosion 25 points 5 months ago Exactly. It's war, the Ghandi way. Passive and nonviolent. We are on strike. Frankly it might be forever, but they might get future generations to get back on the plantation if they smarten up and put on the masquerade again.(control their hypergamy)

Yes, fellows. I’m sure women will be absolutely heartbroken to learn that they will be deprived of you.

But if you’re really going to get serious about this whole nonviolent resistance thing you might want to learn how to spell the name “Gandhi.”

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An on
An on
3 years ago

Honestly, the world needs to forget about Gandhi. Not only was he a terrible person, as many people here have already pointed out, his ideas about nonviolence were basically bullshit. Britain never would have pulled out of India if it hadn’t been for all the damage they’d suffered in WWII.

It’s kind of ironic, really. Most of the Indians who fought in WWII were fighting for the British empire, but in the end it was the Germans who got them their independence.

Also, I never got why Dr. King saw Gandhi as such an inspiration. Beyond the man’s aforementioned personal failings, their goals were almost polar opposites. Gandhi was campaigning for independence from white rule while King and the rest of the integrationist wing of the Civil Rights movement were trying bring American blacks into the mainstream of white society.

Still, in the final analysis, given the distinct lack of progress on racial issues, not to mention what psychologists have learned in the intervening decades about ingroup/outgroup dynamics, oxytocin, Dunbar’s Number, etc. American blacks would probably be better off today if King had been more like Gandhi in some ways…

Feministguy
Feministguy
3 years ago

Well, the issue isnt that the guys cant or dont have the ability to get into a relationship. Its the fact that they are acting like they are the ones who are making the choice and women are supposed to “GASP” be scared by this

I have all the respect for undateable guys who make peace with their situation and go their own way, whilst they continue to support and understand the females in our community

I have 0 respect for guys who let their bad experiences/rejections taint their view of women and let the bitterness take over their lives

Shadowplay
3 years ago

I have all the respect for undateable guys who make peace with their situation and go their own way, whilst they continue to support and understand the females in our community

Pretty much the same. Got a couple mates like that – one guy just can’t get second dates, the other simply isn’t interested in a relationship. They get on with their life, do their own thing, hang with a mixed group of friends and have a laugh – and have our complete, unwavering backup in doing so. Even switched pubs because one of the barstaff got a bit mouthy about them being perennially single. Upped and left drinks on the table, too. 😛

Thing is, there’s thousands of guys who do go their own way. They don’t make a grand conspiracy about it, they just do it. That’s always worthy of respect.

Feministguy
Feministguy
3 years ago

Exactly! I am one of them too. Im just not dateable/attractive. No hard feelings towards women (frankly, why should there be?), no need to beat myself up over it too. I try my best to post on sites like inceltears ect to help men as much as I can. To improve the situation for women, we need to fix men, because its the men who carry out all the violence

Shadowplay
3 years ago

I try my best to post on sites like inceltears ect to help men as much as I can.

Good luck with that! Trying to haul people out of that sort of mental mire is a worthwhile thing to do, but I don’t have the patience for it. I’d do more harm than good (before getting banned 😛 )

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

@Shadowplay,

You’re a good parent-person :). I’m assuming your daughter is Hindu, given the mention of caste?

@dslucia,

Nice to see you! Hope you’re well?
*quietly vomits over MGTOW content of your post*

Shadowplay
3 years ago

@Mish

Well, she were born to Hindu parents, and we made sure she had the basics plus as much extra as she wanted once she were old enough to be interested. Thank god for good friends! 🙂

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

@Feministguy

Exactly! I am one of them too. Im just not dateable/attractive

You must have a pretty low opinion of women if you think there’s some inherent, static quality about yourself that means not one single woman on this planet would ever consider you dateable.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

Hi @Cherubic, welcome to the site! It takes awhile for comments to go through the first time, you should be good now.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

Anyone else getting flashbacks from @Feministguy? I remember a different dude came round here with similar ‘women won’t date me, but I’m OK with that, no, furreals, I’m not bitter, not like these wretches, have I mentioned I’m ugly, cos I am, not attractive at all to women, that’s why they won’t date me, but I’m not bitter about it, incels suck’ kinda talk. Didn’t fly then either…

Feministguy
Feministguy
3 years ago

I dont blame my “failures” on other people or other groups of people. Its called being an adult and taking responsibility. Every time I have a thought/feeling that I dont quiet like or not comfortable with- I ask myself a question – “Would my mother be happy/comfortable with me thinking like that?”

@Shadowplay – Ill try, some incels are responding and self reflecting, obviously getting some hate though. It would feel very rewarding if I can even get ONE to give up the incel ideology.

I dont think its fair for Kupo to say that I dont have a good opinion on women unless I actually say something that is offensive/sexist/trump-like ect.

Valentin - Emigrantski Ragamuffin
Valentin - Emigrantski Ragamuffin
3 years ago

and understand the females in our community

I always have doubt about men who call women ‘females’ even if they say they are feminists.

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

I dont think its fair for Kupo to say that I dont have a good opinion on women unless I actually say something that is offensive/sexist/trump-like ect.

It’s pretty sexist to imply no woman would ever date you because of your looks. To put it another way, by calling yourself undateable you’re saying that you would like to date people (and you’ve implied the people you want to date are women), but that it’s not through your own lack of desire and/or effort that you are not doing so. You attempt to shift the blame for this from women to yourself by blaming your looks, but all that actually does is imply that women are too shallow to date you (and all 3.5 billion of us apparently have the same tastes in men’s physical features).

@Axe
Yes, I feel like we’ve been down this path before.

Feministguy
Feministguy
3 years ago

Mind me asking, whats wrong with being called a “female”?

@Kupo, sorry its just how I feel and view myself. Obviously its not directed at women, and I DETEST the word shallow. Im currently on inceltears trying to outlaw the word “shallow” as we speak! When someone says that something or someone is shallow, in my opinion it means “Im going to vilify them for having preferences” Which happens to women very frequently unfortunately.

I dont blame women at all. The onus is on ME to be attractive and meet the standards. I havent managed to. I realised this, deleted my dating sites, promised myself Ill never ask a lady out again and made peace with it. Its one of those things, laws of averages. Theres things I can do, theres things I cant do. As human beings, we tend to obsess over things we dont have or cant get, rather than appreciate and value what we DO have. No bitterness, no self pity, and certainly, no being part of a women hating “cult culture”. Now I am trying to teach incels to do the same as what Ive done.

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

@Feministguy
I don’t give a fuck what you do in your personal life, just don’t come on here talking about how undateable and unattractive you are. It’s insulting to women to tell us that as a collective we would never date you.

You claim you made a choice not to date but your wording says otherwise.

And calling us “females” is offensive as fuck.

https://jezebel.com/the-problem-with-calling-women-females-1683808274

https://verysmartbrothas.theroot.com/why-you-should-stop-addressing-and-referring-to-women-a-1819180317

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

@Feministguy,

Hi, welcome! You’re stumbling over some sort of common stumblyblocks. Good on you for getting as far as you have, though.

First thing! A lot of men who use the word “females” to refer to women will juxtapose it with “men” and not “males”. “Men do their thing, and females do their thing”. It very literally reduces the agency of women in the conversation. A lot of people do this unconsciously, so don’t feel bad about doing it, but – well, catch yourself when you do, and ask “would ‘women’ work as well here?” If it would? Use it instead.

Second thing! Blaming “ugliness” for being “undateable” is basically blaming women for being shallow – saying all that women care about is looks, and all women have the same standard for appearance.

This is wrong. Society has a standard for appearance. You know, that towering patriarchal edifice that crushes us all? That’s what tells you that you aren’t attractive enough to date. Not women. Women aren’t a monolithic group with the same standards. Lots of unattractive people get dates, have sex, get married, have families, etc.

Being conventionally attractive makes dating easier, sure, but it’s a crutch that a lot of people don’t have, and they do just fine.

Good for you for trying to de-toxify incels that are not overly pickled in hate. I couldn’t do it! Just, be mindful of what you blame a failure to date on. Women are diverse and have as much a range of standards and attractors as men do. Saying “women just don’t want to date an ugly guy” is reductive and insulting.

I’m rambling! Mea culpa. We’ve had people come in and say similar to you before, so it all sort of blurs together. Do you understand why you touched a nerve?

JoeB
JoeB
3 years ago

I catch myself doing the “female” thing at times though it’s contrasted with “male”. Holdover from the military. They use that terminology and like in most cases are quite insistent about it. The women sleep in “female berthing” the men sleep in “male berthing”. “A male sailor”, “a female sailor.” etc.

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

JoeB, those are adjectives, and that’s ok.

Feministguy
Feministguy
3 years ago

Geez Kupo, hostile! And my apologies, I didnt realise where the word female came from and didnt realise the offence and stigma that sorrounds it. My bad. Im here to learn, Im here to discuss.

I dont think I am dateable so its not a choice. But how I react and how I DEAL with it is my choice. I prefer to deal with it in a healthy way and encourage and guide incels to deal with it in a similar way that I do. I wouldnt say its insulting at all. Just based on my experience.

@Scildfreja Unnyðnes Thank you and thank you for clearing things up. I will defo use women instead. I just didnt realise, thats all. No offence intended.

I think there are lots of things important in dating, such as shared values, personality, religion ect ect. But there has to be SOME kind of physical attraction for it to work. Im not physically attractive, hence Ive never dated. Doesnt make women shallow at all. In fact contrary to the shit that the so called incels spout, 99.9999999% of women who turned me down (back in the day when I tried) were absolutely lovely about it.

I take it the people who came before me were hateful incels who think they are entitled to sex? Im attempting to convert as many hateful incels as I can to my peaceful method of dealing with not being able to date. Surely thats a positive right?

We all have our strengths and weaknesses and even…GASPPP… incels probably have things that they are GOOD at. I want for them to live happy fulfilling peaceful lives. Because they are a danger. And its women who will suffer unfortunately .

Edit: Point taken. Take the rough with the smooth in life. Rather than “blame”, accept that some things arent meant to be.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

Yeah, as an adjective it’s fine! If you’re being clinical or abstract it works just fine.

I think it’s reductive – sometimes reduction is just what you need! If you want to collapse the whole messy edifice of gender and sex down to the simplest form ’cause you’re not talking about gender, “male” and “female” do that very well. But if you’re using that reduction all the time, and in every circumstance? That’s an issue.

And I mean, the reduction bulldozes non-binary, gender-fluidity, and related concerns, so it’s not a great one! All reduction attempts involve disregarding things that are important.

That’s one of the main reasons I give STEMlords the big side-eye, incidentally. Reduction-worshippers who see physicists reducing the universe to subatomic particles, then want to do the same thing to humans. They get a big ole squinty eye from me.

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
3 years ago

Axe, Kupo:

Yeah, I am reminded of Afroaway00, for one.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I dont think I am dateable so its not a choice.

You said you deleted your dating profiles and decided not to ask anyone out. That’s a choice that you made. It’s not a bad or wrong choice. You have every right to do that. But it is a choice. And you said so yourself. You don’t think you’re dateable. Presumably you haven’t yet asked out every single and available woman in your area so you don’t know that you are altogether undateable. Having that feeling that you are undateable does not in itself speak ill of you. A lot of people go through similar insecurities and changing your insecurities is difficult. It’s the fact that you’ve gone out of your way to point it out in more than one thread that is earning you the sideeye. Especially since you emphasize how even though no woman would ever date you, you don’t hate us. You’ve said it so much that it seems like – no matter how much you may say otherwise – that you would like praise for not wanting us all to be murdered despite the fact that we won’t touch your penis. Not being filled with hate and rage against women should be the default and a minimum standard of decency. Not something you need to go out of your way to point out. In fact, you’ve brought it up so much already – including maybe under a different name at an earlier point – that it’s starting to sound like a suspiciously specific denial.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

@Feministguy, she’s hostile because “women won’t date me ’cause I’m ugly” is the sort of thing that misogynist spitebladders hiss at us. Adding “but it’s not women’s fault” at the end doesn’t really change it, because you never actually say what is at fault. It ends up reading as “it’s not women’s fault (that they are that shallow).”

Like, you know there are women who don’t give a damn about appearance at all, right? There are women who get hot and bothered by a good thorough discussion of database architecture, or library science, or philosophy. There are women who are attracted by so many things other than appearance. Like women are – now, stay with me here – like women are individuals or something.

Physical attraction does play a part for most people (not all), but what counts as physically attractive varies from person to person. What matters varies from person to person.

I’m not telling you to get back on that dating horse – there’s absolutely nothing wrong with deciding to not date. I don’t date, because I’ve decided that I don’t want that. After going through a lifetime being told by society that I need to date, get married, have a family, etc, I’ve come to the realization that I don’t need to do that if I don’t want to. Neither do you.

But it’s not something as banal and meaningless as appearance that matters. I’ve known and been friends with women and men who are by society’s accounts very ugly – all married, with children.

In short: being conventionally attractive makes it easier; it’s a crutch. That’s it. Be happy with yourself first. If you need a relationship to make yourself happy – being in a relationship will not make you happy.

I hope you understand why you’re getting pushback on this, and I hope you have happiness with yourself!

Singerdog
Singerdog
3 years ago

Yea, Feministguy, your initial post made me cringe for a number of reasons, and the blow-back I expected ensued. Thank Scildfreja Unnyðnes for giving your sincerity the benefit of the doubt, and politely pointing out some of the triggers.

If you are indeed sincere, you will find all sorts of good people here, but ‘happy’ incel or not, is gonna push a few buttons here.

Feministguy
Feministguy
3 years ago

Does an event have to always be someones fault? One of them things, Im not born to date/have sex/become intimate ect. I deleted my dating sites as the rejection was hurting too much. It got to a point where I would think about it non-stop… I wouldnt enjoy simple things like going to the gym or watching football. At that time, I re-evaluated and thought it would be better to make peace with my situation and to carry on getting rejected. Did WONDERS for my self esteem.

Maybe its just not meant to be? Its one of them things, theres lots of things I can do, dating, I cant do. Law of averages, Im going to be good at some things, Im going to be bad at some things. No one to blame. What I want to achieve is to reduce the number of hateful incels. And I like to be considered a feminist too. I have family members too who are women, and they way our society is going, women (are is the most danger they have ever been tbh). If I can use my example and incels can follow my lead, would that be such a bad thing? If so , can someone explain why?

I would like help in fact, any suggestions to how I should message/talk to incels to help them become peaceful singletons rather than peaceful misoginistic turds? I know someone from school who thought life was soooo tough and unfair because he couldnt date like me, so (as a pharmacist myself), I took him to a cancer ward to make him realise how lucky he is and how dating/sex isnt the be all and end all of the world.

And thanks @Scildfreja Unnyðnes I have great family, great friends, a good degree, good job, healthy… theres no reason for me not to be happy. And you know what? Incels have more to cheer about than they realise too! Which is what I will re-inforce and get them to realise one day 🙂 Ive made peace with being single forever, and my aim is to get the incels to do the same!

I know its frustrating reading about a bunch of angry young men wanting to kill you because you wont touch their penis. But I want to help them. Dont know why. Im a crazy idiot! But Im there to help any one of them.

JoeB
JoeB
3 years ago

@Scildfreja Unnyðnes

Clinical is a good description of how it sounds to me and probably how it comes off. Less worried about the sexism aspect (though it reminds me of the sexist use of “females”) of it than it just sounding odd now that I’m a civilian again.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

How do you do, fellow feminists? Ugh… You’re not gonna convert incels to noninceldom by lecturing them incel talking points. Let’s be clear here, @Fguy, you’re an incel. The only difference is you haven’t spouted about Stacy and Chad ‘getting what they deserve’. ‘Moderate’ incel is still incel, cos it’s all the same shitty foundation
Also, just cos this gets my goat:

there has to be SOME kind of physical attraction for it to work

For certain people and in certain relationships. And physical attraction needn’t be looks based. And it needn’t be an up front decider of dateability. And lastly, physical attraction isn’t static. Getting to know and love someone makes them more attractive. It’s actually pretty fun waking up to find that one of your partner’s ‘flaws’ aren’t one anymore. So nope to all of that rubbish

@PeeVee + kupo
Yep, no end to em apparently. And I remember Afro. Collapsed like a souffle, didn’t he…

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

@Feministguy,

You’re right! Sometimes fate conspires. Wyrd bið ful aræd. There are absolutely times when it’s better to withdraw, reassess, and focus on other things. You can return later if you feel like it, after all.

That’s not what you said though. You didn’t say “I’m single ’cause I’ve been rejected a bunch,” You said it was because you’re too ugly to date.

Were you aware of doing that bait and switch, there? I imagine you weren’t. People can often do that unconsciously when they’re defending themselves.

We all live in a misogynistic world, and we all have hidden abscesses of misogyny in our thoughts. Even the most feminist’y of us. If you want to improve, you need to stop defending those little pockets of bigotry. You need to shine a light on them, see what they’re connected to, and get out the scalpel.

It’s good that you want to help them, but if you’re mentioning appearance as a reason at all, you’re putting the blame back on women. You’re saying “Women can’t help but be shallow and concerned only with appearance” – you’re just being nice about it.

Does that make sense?

I have a second half of the argument here, but I would like your reply first. It sort of sticks the knife in a bit.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I would like help in fact, any suggestions to how I should message/talk to incels to help them become peaceful singletons rather than peaceful misoginistic turds?

comment image

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

@Axecalibur,

Getting to know and love someone makes them more attractive. It’s actually pretty fun waking up to find that one of your partner’s ‘flaws’ aren’t one anymore.

Bingo!

As an aside, Axe, i thought you might like to know that it’s your talking about discovering being ace and the experiences and changes you’ve had because of that which have sort of woke me up to that fact in myself! So, thank you!

@WWTH, I’ma steel dat giff

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

It’s kind of amazing how many people seem to think this is a free therapy site for men with dating problems, isn’t it.

I’ve long ago given up even talking about the various not conventionally attractive men I’ve known who have managed to partner. Because 99% of the time, the men who are supposedly undateably ugly are only going for women who are conventionally attractive and outgoing and ignoring the nerdy/conventionally not attractive/awkward women.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

aw, WWTH, you spoiled my big Part Two Super-Incisive Turbocritical reveal!

I mean, it wouldn’t be a surprise to anyone here, but I thought it was gonna be good.

Valentin - Emigrantski Ragamuffin
Valentin - Emigrantski Ragamuffin
3 years ago

physical attraction isn’t necessary to fall in love and have relationships. asexual people exist and have relationships and fall in love, and some asexual people don’t feel physical attraction at all.

Feministguy
Feministguy
3 years ago

So me thinking Im too unattractive to date is somehow misogony ? I do think as human beings we are all more superficial than we are willing to admitt.

And again, I HATE the word shallow.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

@Scild

it’s your talking about discovering being ace and the experiences and changes you’ve had because of that which have sort of woke me up to that fact in myself!

Dawww! <3 Always like to see other acies talk shop as it were. You helped me figure myself out too, so thanks as well 😊

Valentin - Emigrantski Ragamuffin
Valentin - Emigrantski Ragamuffin
3 years ago

also I thought more about this (sorry for double post) but I am not sure how you look but if you feel ugly because of facial deformity for example, plenty of people with facial deformity or skin conditions fall in love and marry. what you said seems very shallow when I think about this. secondly insulting, differences in people’s appearance are not ugly. it is society which is ugly when it tells you these people can’t have happy lives because they don’t look like magazine modles.

Feministguy
Feministguy
3 years ago

I believe I can have a happy life, and incels can have a happy life. But we cant date though, but its part and parcel of life. We cant have everything in life

Makroth - cowboy Jacobin from Hell
Makroth - cowboy Jacobin from Hell
3 years ago

@Feministguy

Have you just been skimming over the replies you received?

Let’s try this: Why do you think EVERY woman would find you unattractive, both in terms of looks and personality?

I’m not trying to give you dating advice, tbh. It seems people here think you’re making assumptions about women.

Feministguy
Feministguy
3 years ago

Based on previous rejections and experiences. No hard feelings. Part and parcel of life. You cant have everything in life

Handsome :Punkle Stan: Jack

I took him to a cancer ward to make him realise how lucky he is and how dating/sex isnt the be all and end all of the world.

comment image

DawnPurityseeker
DawnPurityseeker
3 years ago

@Feministguy

Yeah sometimes I also catch myself using “female” as an noun after reading incel crap. (Although I will also be using “male” as a noun when I do that). The problem with this is that it’s dehumanizing. Describing people this way distances people from themselves as whole person. It’s the way that we describe animals. It’s not an accident that female and male gets used in medicine, law enforcement, or military, because these are all occupations where people sometimes dehumanize others when doing their job.

(Not to mention that when people use female or male as a noun they are also pretty much always making sweeping generalizations, which is definately problematic in its own way.)

Think about it. I’m a woman. Say you overheard me in a store saying, “oh, all you MALES are so good at putting together objects” to my boyfriend. As a man, would you feel lifted up, or would you feel put down? And without knowing anything else about me, how much would you feel that I repect men in general?

You’re getting some pushback here because you made some generalized statements about women. I don’t think that you meant to, and I don’t think that you’re here in bad faith. (And at least some of your issue is poor self-esteem). Most of your problem is that you seem to be early into learning and understanding feminism. We all make mistakes in our feminism; even women do. So, pull up a chair and listen, FeministguyInTraining. 🙂

Makroth - cowboy Jacobin from Hell
Makroth - cowboy Jacobin from Hell
3 years ago

*sigh*

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

@Feministguy, if you’d like a conversation with me that’s great, but you have to actually engage what I’m saying instead of just repeating your point. I know it’s difficult! Self-criticism is really, really difficult. But there’s no point having this conversation otherwise.

And I chose the word shallow because you don’t like it. Not to be mean, but because you’re calling women shallow. It’s what you’re saying when you equate “can’t get a date” with “not good-looking” enough.

I won’t continue until you actually engage what is being said to you. I hope you do!

@Axe,

http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/ftpuploads/bloguploads/epic-hugs-anime.gif

it’s interesting how we build one another; how our self-perception shifts based on who we’re exposed to!

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

Addenda:

You’re saying “I’m not being misogynist!” to a bunch of women who are telling you that you are being a bit of a jerk to women, @Feministman.

That’s not a very feminist thing to do. Maybe stop being defensive and consider for a moment that we might be on to something here?

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

So when feministguy said he was here to learn, what he meant was he was here to spout the same incel talking point again and again and not actually pay attention to what anyone else has to say. Got it.

But I will still bring up one more point that will probably be ignored because it’s necessary to harp on IMO.

The incel community is almost exclusively cishet men. Why is that? If some people are just undateable because they’re too ugly, why do those people almost always seem to be men? Are there no such thing as ugly women? Why are they straight? You’d think, given that there are fewer gay people than there are straight people that gay people would have a tougher time just by the numbers. There’s a smaller pool. Yet not only are incels just about always men, they’re men who are into women. Trans people are one of the few groups of people that it’s socially acceptable to blatantly hate or even deny their existence. How many jokes in comedies revolve around a man hooking up with a hot woman only to find out she has a dick? If incel were actually about rejection, I’d think trans women would be a major part of the group. Their bodies and identities are treated as a joke and something freakish and disgusting more than probably any other group. And yet. They all seem to be cis men, don’t they? So why is that? If the incel identity has nothing to do with privilege and entitlement and misogyny, why is it that they are almost all cishet men? How is it that cishet men get rejected the most or are seen as the ugliest despite being in the demographic group that our culture treats as the default human? It just doesn’t make any sense.

Feministguy
Feministguy
3 years ago

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Id love to chat to you. Maybe we should agree to just say that Im not dateable because of the path Ive been chosen. Im not cut out for it. Nothing to do with women being shallow at all. One of them things. Part of life and Im extremely sorry for any offence I caused

Feministguy
Feministguy
3 years ago

Im sure there are undateable woman out there too. But undateable men are more likely to rape, go on shooting sprees, spread hate, become violent. Men are more violent than woman- so we men are more dangerous. Which is why incels are a huge huge threat to society

Incel isnt just “I cant get laid”. Incel is “I cant get laid, I DESERVE SEX wah wah wah ” So incel ideology is inherently sexist and reeks of entitlement to womens affection and bodies. I agree

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

So Jackie called this out but didn’t actually comment on it, and I’m going to.

I know someone from school who thought life was soooo tough and unfair because he couldnt date like me, so (as a pharmacist myself), I took him to a cancer ward to make him realise how lucky he is and how dating/sex isnt the be all and end all of the world.

Cancer patients are not examples for you to hold up to others as “see how bad yuou could have it”. They’re human fucking beings and they’re going through something really difficult. Ok, instead of generalizing all cancer patients I’m going to get personal.

When my fiance was dying of cancer we would have people like that come around to visit him in his hospital bed. They would talk about how much they loved being in the cancer ward because people there didn’t worry about the petty shit. They took inspiration from our tragedy to remind themselves that it could be worse. We were always super nice to them and never complained, so they probably thought this was perfectly fine for them to do.

It wasn’t. It hurt like hell. It made us feel like an attraction in a zoo. It was so goddamn condescending and smarmy and gross. But we were already going through too much. We didn’t have the time or energy to tell them to fuck off. So we bore our fake smiles and ignored the pain they caused us. Because we couldn’t afford to handle it any other way. You can only break down into tears so many times.

That’s a terrible thing that you’re doing. You need to stop, immediately.

DawnPurityseeker
DawnPurityseeker
3 years ago

@rugbyyogi

” I don’t think that has to be the only way, though it is the likely way, alas.”

I was making a generalization. 😉

I don’t think that men that do this are necessarily conscious of a plan anyway. It’s more that life changes until you get TWO overworked partners, but only one of the partners (the woman) feels society breathing down her neck, while the man doesn’t even pay attention because he’s “tired”. I’m too lazy to find the statistic, but women generally drop something like 7 hours of housework a week after divorce, just from having the man live OUTSIDE their house. So yeah, fucking men. 😑 ;p

Although, I don’t think its necessarily bad to be doing more housework if you gain enough pleasure from the man living there in other ways to make up for it. Things are never going to be exactly equal in a relationship, for men or women, gay or straight. Different strokes for different folks, and all that good stuff. 🙂 I just know myself, and I know that there’s no romance that will ever be worth more housework to me, because I’m a lot happier living alone just to begin with. 😉

@solecism

“Hell, he visited my apartment last night, and I had to have the serious talk with him that I expect him to put his dirty dishes in the kitchen before he leaves and to let me know if he finishes off anything from the kitchen so that I know I need to restock it.”

Yeah, I hear ya too. My ex will come over to see our kids, and he tries to remember to clean up after himself, but he never had to do housework as a child. He has no clue what goes into running a house.

My experience with being married is that I learned that you can’t be a man’s mommy AND his wife. You can’t make up for whatever he didn’t get as a child, or you’ll just be the bitch and the nag. Personally, I find that I’m a lot less angry cleaning up after a GUEST than a husband, and that people (including him) are generally more respectful of places that aren’t theirs. And he tries, because he knows that if he doesn’t, I’ll throw him out. I’ve done it before, and he’s walked out himself when I’ve pissed him off. We have our own places, and we don’t HAVE to hang out, so it’s take it or leave it for the both of us. 😉

Handsome :Punkle Stan: Jack

@kupo

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