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Red Pillers: Stop looking to gorillas for dating advice. Embrace the banana slug instead

The Anglerfish: If you like Pina Coladas, and fusing with a much larger female and basically turning into a dangly appendage that provides her with sperm

By David Futrelle

Pickup artists and Men’s Rights Activists and other reactionary misogynists love to claim that their retrograde ideas about human “mating strategy” have been proven 100% awesome and correct by SCIENCE. By SCIENCE, of course, they generally mean a simplified version of evolutionary psychology based on “just so stories” about our human ancestors and assorted studies of animals that supposedly prove the eternal truth that alphas rule and betas drool.

Consider, for example, one recent defense of “toxic masculinity” posted on Psychology Today and then reposted by Men’s Rights hate site A Voice for Men. In “Is toxic masculinity a valid concept?” Concordia University marketing professor and Evo Psych maven Gad Saad declares that

For sexually reproducing species including humans, evolution has endowed males and females with universal mating preferences that map onto sex-specific recurring challenges faced by each sex during our evolutionary history. This is profoundly obvious to anyone with a grade 8 level understanding of human biology and human psychology.

Ladies in “sexually reproducing species,” it seems, are hard-wired to love big burly dudes.

Female fiddler crabs and hens prefer males with extravagantly large claws and tails respectively.  Ewes (female rams) will mate with the ram that wins the brutal intrasexual head-butting contest.  They reward targeted aggression by granting sexual access. 

Crabs also live underwater and have a seafood diet that includes sea urchins, sand dollars, barnacles, and algae. But never mind.

Needless to say, there are innumerable other examples of sexual selection that I might describe but I suspect that you get the general gist.  Are rams exhibiting toxic masculinity?  Are female fiddler crabs succumbing to antiquated notions of masculinity as promulgated by the crab patriarchy?

I’m going to say “yes” to that first question, as rams can do pretty severe damage to one another with all that head-butting.

Let’s now apply the exact same evolutionary process (sexual selection) to humans.  Evolutionary psychologists have documented universal patterns of mating preferences that are invariant across time and place.  In no culture ever studied have women repeatedly preferred to mate with pear-shaped low-status tepid men possessing high-pitched nasal voices. 

As a pear-shaped — well, more apple-shaped — low-status tepid man, I do fine, actually, but never mind.

In no documented culture do women’s sexual fantasies revolve around granting sexual access to unemployed unambitious men who occupy the lowest stratum of the social hierarchy.  Instead, women are attracted to “toxic masculine” male phenotypes that correlate with testosterone, and they are desirous of men who are socially dominant, are strategically risk-taking in their behaviors, and who exhibit patterns of behaviors that will allow them to ascend the social hierarchy and defend their positions from encroachers.

Other Red Pill thinkers also look to the animal kingdom for lessons on human sexuality, most often citing gorillas and chimps, which are genetically very similar to humans if a bit hairier.

Our old friend Heartiste, the floridly racist PUA guru, regularly turns to studies of other primates to understand what he calls the “renowned human female mate preference for jerkboys of varying jerkitude.” In one post, he recounted an experiment he claimed to have conducted in which he did his best impression of an especially macho gorilla to see how women reacted to this primal stimulus.

For shits and remotely activated tingles, I decided to try out the MAXIMUM ALPHA MALE MODE walking style in a beautiful baby zoo near you.

I walked about town like a guy who [had] absorbed a piece of gorilla DNA …

Result: After an hour or so performing the “here are my steely balls, ladies, feast your eyes” gait, I can conclusively say that a lot… no, a WHOLE LOT… of women tossed me lascivious stares. Not “what is this weird guy doing?” looks; real hardcore “i want… i need… to get to know this man” stares.

Ok, there were a couple of “who’s the weirdo?” looks, but most were definitely in the “checking him out” camp.

In the Red Pill subreddit, someone called SkorchZang offered his scientific assessment of ape sex.

I‘m always deeply touched when watching a documentary about apes and there’s some mating scene or something going on. Typically the male is what you’d expect, he’s humping away, working it, it feels good and he’s just focused in on that. But the female, man! They actually use their wrinkly monkey faces to make the exact same “porn faces” that human women will put on. You know the face, that “oh you dirty big fucking fucker, you… fucking me all bent over like that when you know that’s not very nice!” kind of face. With the eyes and everything. Hilarious display of the raw natural hunger for male domination that TRP often talks about and taps into.

But is a “hunger for male domination” really this universal? Even amongst those species that value male alphatude in matters of the heart and loin, things are a bit more complicated than the Red Pill alpha male myths.

Amongst  rhesus macaques, for example, “younger females often sneak off to mate with males lower down on the dominance hierarchy,” according to a guide to primate behavior put together by  behavioral scientist Dennis O’Neil of Palomar College. Male chimps, meanwhile, prefer mating with older females instead of the nubile young lady chimps that Red Pill ideology would suggest they’d go for instead.

But this isn’t the main thing wrong with Red Pillers’ fetishization of animal studies as a guide to human sexual desires and behavior. The biggest problem? There are 7.77 million species of animals on our little planet. Red Pillers (and Evo Psych enthusiasts generally) cherry-pick a tiny handful whose behavior seems to best match with their crude “alphas rule, betas drool” vision of the world. But the mating behavior of many species bears little or no resemblance to what we humans do.

Consider, for example, our fellow social mammal the spotted hyena. Given their infamous aggressiveness, you might assume spotted hyena society to be lorded over by the alpha males who can bite and laugh the hardest. Not exactly. Female spotted hyenas like their men meek. As Wikipedia notes,

Males will show submissive behaviour when approaching females in heat, even if the male outweighs his partner. Females usually favour younger males … Passive males tend to have greater success in courting females than aggressive ones.

Oh, and did I mention that female hyenas have fake dicks?

The mating process is complicated, as the male’s penis enters and exits the female’s reproductive tract through her pseudo-penis rather than directly through the vagina, which is blocked by the false scrotum and testes. These unusual traits make mating more laborious for the male than in other mammals, while also ensuring that rape is physically impossible.

Things get even weirder when we move beyond the mammals. Fenale fiddler crabs may prefer macho lovers with huge … claws. Praying Mantis and Black Widow females like men they can literally eat (though in practice they eat their former lovers far less than the urban legends suggest).

If death at the hands of your insect (or arachnid) lover sounds unappealing, consider the horrific fate faced by male anglerfish after they get jiggy with it in their own weird way. As Wired notes, in many species of anglerfish, those hideously ugly denizens of the very deep,

[f]emales are so large and in charge that the much smaller males don’t even look like [they’re from] the same species. A male will bite onto his lady friend, then fuse his face to her body. He lives the rest of his days like this, releasing sperm when she releases eggs. That little bump at the back of her belly? That’s her husband.

Were Anglerfish capable of producing rom-coms, Wired wryly observes,

Every single movie would go a little something like this: Boy meets girl, boy bites girl, boy’s mouth fuses to girl’s body, boy lives the rest of his life attached to girl sharing her blood and supplying her with sperm. Ah, a tale as old as time.

While male anglerfish may be the ultimate omegas, male seahorses aren’t far behind. As most of us learned back in grade school, it’s the male seahorse that gets “pregnant” after being pumped full of eggs by a female who deserts him immediately afterwards. Here’s what a hot date looks like for these horsefaced creatures, according to Wikipedia:

During a “true courtship dance” lasting about 8 hours … the male pumps water through the egg pouch on his trunk which expands and opens to display its emptiness” in an attempt to impress his would-be mate. If his egg-pouch flapping gets his target female in the mood,

she and her mate let go of any anchors and drift upward snout-to-snout, out of the seagrass, often spiraling as they rise. They interact for about 6 minutes, reminiscent of courtship. The female then swims away until the next morning [when she] inserts her ovipositor into the male’s brood pouch and deposits dozens to thousands of eggs. … Both animals then sink back into the seagrass and she swims away.

Talk about being pumped and dumped!

Even amongst those species in which the ladies seem to prefer the most macho lovers the betas often manage to get some action as well. Consider the cuttlefish. As Wikipedia explains,

Male cuttlefish challenge one another for dominance and the best den during mating season. … The animals will threaten each other until one of them backs down and swims away. Eventually, the larger male cuttlefish mate with the females by grabbing them with their tentacles, turning the female so that the two animals are face-to-face, then using a specialized tentacle to insert sperm sacs into an opening near the female’s mouth. 

But lower-status cuttlefish have a sneaky trick up their many sleeves — turning themselves into ladylike “sneaker males” to fool their macho rivals into giving them access to the cuttlefish equivalent of a HB 10.

[S]maller cuttlefish will use their camouflage abilities to disguise themselves as a female cuttlefish. Changing their body color, concealing their extra arms (males have four pairs, females only have three), and even pretending to be holding an egg sack, disguised males are able to swim past the larger guard male and mate with the female.

But my favorite animal sex-havers have to be banana slugs. Slugs in general, Wikipedia explains,

are hermaphrodites, having both female and male reproductive organs. Once a slug has located a mate, they encircle each other and sperm is exchanged through their protruded genitalia. …

In the banana slugs, the penis is trapped inside the body of the partner. Apophallation allows the slugs to separate themselves by one or both of the slugs chewing off the other’s or their own penis. 

Fucking hardcore.

If Red Pillers and PUAs really want to impress the world with their badass no-fucks-given attitude, I’d suggest they stop taking their cues not from gorillas but from these slimy, yellow, penis-shaped penis-chewers.

H/T — Thanks to all those Tweeters who provided me with many excellent examples of Blue Pilled animal species. And check out Humon’s Animal Lives book for even more examples, helpfully illustrated.

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Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

Mish:

The image of Heartiste strutting around gorilla-style with his steel balls had me giggling all day.

It was hilarious, without even trying to imagine how he’d portray his idea of “gorilla”. (presumably something other than knuckle walking – I’ve tried it and it doesn’t work well with a hominin body plan)

And that chap who gets all the feels watching apes having sex … that’s a very revealing comment there, my friend.

“Oh, you mean those *other* apes?”

For a second there I thought you’d gotten married…
But what happened to Arctic Ape?

I’m transitioning to a new nym (the one I already use on Freethoughtblogs). The old one felt pretentious on the “arctic” part.

Lumipuna is a random nonsensical Finnish word construct meaning “snow + red”, which I think sounds pretty. It was made up on the run as I needed a WordPress username and didn’t realize it’d be my nym.

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

I’m not sure I get the point of that baad Saad article. “Here’s some behaviour which I think the womz would call toxic, but it’s animals, so that’s natural, therefore checkmate feminists!” But so what? Chimps are territorial, and will kill chimps from other groups who encroach into their territory. Mallard drakes have frequently been observed committing gang rape. Infanticide by the dominant male is practised by lions and some monkeys, among others. Cannibalism is common across many species. Crows and rats steal all your shiny stuff. Does this mean that those behaviours couldn’t be called problematic when practised by humans? I suspect Saad is perfectly aware that “chimps do it” wouldn’t be a strong defence in a murder trial.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

I still very much identify as an ape and animal – while being very aware of the biological differences between humans, gorillas, chimpanzees, bonobos and orangutans. If the human animal can be considered a furry identity, that’s me.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

PUAs and random shitlords/internet intellectuals seem to think that since toxic behavior is inherently masculine, curtailing it socially would be either impossible or just plain wrong.

Meanwhile, incels and MRAs/MGTOW seem to think that toxic masculinity is ultimately a byproduct of women’s “hypergamous” sexual preferences. This “hypergamy” – which may well be accepted as inherently feminine – is seen as socially harmful and curtailing it would be worthwhile regardless of whether that would solve toxic masculinity.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I walked about town like a guy who [had] absorbed a piece of gorilla DNA …

Result: After an hour or so performing the “here are my steely balls, ladies, feast your eyes” gait, I can conclusively say that a lot… no, a WHOLE LOT… of women tossed me lascivious stares. Not “what is this weird guy doing?” looks; real hardcore “i want… i need… to get to know this man” stares.

Ok, there were a couple of “who’s the weirdo?” looks, but most were definitely in the “checking him out” camp.

I can’t believe none of us have gotten around to mocking this yet. Notice how his entire evidence that gorilla swagger is great and effective game is his perception of the way women are looking at him? We’re just supposed to take him at his words that the stares were stares of lust. Or at least some of them anyway.

We see this in a lot of red pill/PUA field reports. The “philosophy” sells itself as a tool for getting laid, but a most of the time proof of success is women looking a them, smiling at them, talking to them for 30 seconds etc. Not actual sex. Not dates. Not even phone numbers. Like the middle aged dad who wore a t-shirt with right wing slogans to a waterpark and totally got checked out by teenage girls. Or the guy who sexually harassed cashiers and the cashiers told him to have a nice guy. ETA: I meant to type “nice day” but it’s a funny error so I’m just leaving it.

Of course, when they actually do claim to get laid it does sound completely fake. Like our pancake troll who claimed to be getting sexed while he was trolling us. Or the spitting in her mouth is totally alpha guy who socked as his own roommate to assure us that “Fisto” looks just like Thor and totally gets laid all the time.

So, to get red pilled you have to become perpetually angry, learn a bunch of silly jargon, and spend all your time on reddit and manosphere blogs and the fruits of your labor are stares from creeped out women when you make an ass out of yourself in public
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Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
2 years ago

@shadowplay

Not surprised at the identity of the bomber in the slightest, but now I’m worried this administration and law enforcement will just let this shit slide.

Just like they kept quiet about Cruz painting swastikas in his magazines, I’m sure they will try their hardest to keep a lid on any links Conditt might have had with White supremacist groups.

@WWTH

I have to wonder how much of his bravado is just delusion and how much of it exists just to profit off of toxic, gullible assholes. Surely they are aware that they cannot keep on selling the exact same product without re-branding and re-packaging it into a new shiny “technique” for getting laid.

K.
K.
2 years ago

Hyenas are awesome.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

@Diego

Well, they’re still not calling it terrorism. Trying to cover up like cats on a tile floor, they are.

Case in point

Edit: added link, just saw it on twitter.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Sarah Huckabee Sanders specifically said it wasn’t terrorism. Whether he had a political motive, I guess we don’t know yet, but as soon as we learned he was white, terrorism was automatically ruled out and of course Trump went the mentally ill loner route. Sigh.

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

Ugghhhhhh, Gad Saad… he’s like a try-hard version of Jordan Peterson, only without the self-help angle, so he’s left floundering the edgelord sphere as one of those “We couldn’t get Peterson” consolation guests. He’s not only odious, but he’s thin-skinned as well.

I won’t link it here because it’s very NSFW, but if you have second, look up that Oglaf cartoon on Anglerfish. It ends with the dapper Anglerfish in his housecoat, swirling his brandy saying:

“Moral is simple. Men are parasites and women are sluts. Ha! Just kidding! The moral is don’t treat actual animal behavior like a fable. Generally speaking, animals have no interest in teaching you anything.”

Truer words were never spoken.

Also, there’s a surreally hilarious movie called “Green Porno” where Isabella Rossellini dresses up in various animal costumes and acts out their mating rituals in a series of skits. The snail and slug ones stood out to me as particularly odd. I think the whole thing’s on YouTube (or at least clips of it).

Hambeast
Hambeast
2 years ago

I’ve always been interested in psychology which is why I gave up on Psychology Today about twenty years ago. It either always was or became the National Enquirer of psych.

I had to click through to the Palomar College site to see if it’s the one I attended and it is! Probably the best two year college out there with the highest rate of transfer to four year schools in California as opposed to some of the other jr. colleges* I’ve attended. Lookin’ at you, LA Pierce College!

*or extended high schools, as I call them

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

Katamount:

Generally speaking, animals have no interest in teaching you anything.

Except cats, of course.

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
2 years ago

Sarah Huckabee Sanders specifically said it wasn’t terrorism.

Yes, but wasn’t that right before he was identified? I’m wondering if that will change now and what evidence might come out regarding his ties with White supremacist groups (which I imagine he will have).

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

The bomber identified himself as conservative. Home-schooled, anti-abortion, homophobic, in favour of the death penalty.

There’s a claim that this was his short-lived blog, from 2012. Unsurprisingly, the posts are getting comments today!

Shadowplay
2 years ago

Speaking of Nikolas Cruz – his brother wants to set up a fan club for him

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

@Moggie

I think cats teaching people things is incidental, but it’s more plausible than lobsters, that’s for sure. 😀

Home-schooled, anti-abortion, homophobic, in favour of the death penalty.

And of course this guy’s political views are about as deep as a puddle. “Don’t sex if can’t baby! Teh ghey is unnatural! Dead people can’t murder! Problem solved! DOY!” And I thought my Grade 10 Civics class left me ill-prepared (actually, in retrospect, I gained a lot out of it).

*sigh* Example #17,204,928 of why public education is so damned important. You hear that, Betsy DeVos? Of course not, I’m not a billionaire.

@Shadowplay

Speaking of Nikolas Cruz – his brother wants to set up a fan club for him

End-stage capitalism, folks. Attention is currency. Other people’s lives only matter in their capacity to consume. Likes. Clicks. Retweets. So it freakin’ goes….

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
2 years ago

In lighter news, John Oliver’s Marlon Bundo book is outselling the Veep’s:

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5ab0676be4b0e862383aa9c2

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

PeeVee, did you see that it has over 4000 reviews on amazon.com? Funny thing is, a lot of the one-star reviews are supportive too!

Schnookums Von Ghostface Fancypants Killer
Schnookums Von Ghostface Fancypants Killer
2 years ago

I walked about town like a guy who [had] absorbed a piece of gorilla DNA …

Result: After an hour or so performing the “here are my steely balls, ladies, feast your eyes” gait, I can conclusively say that a lot… no, a WHOLE LOT… of women tossed me lascivious stares. Not “what is this weird guy doing?” looks; real hardcore “i want… i need… to get to know this man” stares.

Ok, there were a couple of “who’s the weirdo?” looks, but most were definitely in the “checking him out” camp.

See, that’s why there’s all sorts of steps you take to have a truly scientific study, otherwise you risk confirmation bias. I can imagine it now:

“We observed your interactions and our conclusion is: Science thinks you’re an asshole.”

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
2 years ago

Moggie…no, but I am not surprised that it has that many reviews.

John Oliver has a *lot* of fans.

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
2 years ago

@Moggie

You forgot to mention he wanted to do away with sex offender registration. So at the very least MRA adjacent.

Fluffy Spider
Fluffy Spider
2 years ago

I always try to not observe the shitshows known as guys attempting to be alphas (assholes) It’s just so awkward to watch an unironic aping (pun intended) of the jocks from 1980s era Teen movies. It’s one of the ultimate cringe inducing experiences (others include people shouting racial slurs, alt right protests,etc)

Weird (America Where Are You Now? Don't You Care About Your Sons And Daughters?) Eddie
Weird (America Where Are You Now? Don't You Care About Your Sons And Daughters?) Eddie
2 years ago

“… so I walked around like I had absorbed a piece of male Black Widow Spider dna…. The way the females looked at me, it was obvious they wanted to breed…. After a few ‘passes”, I got with one… then she ate me.”

MrsObedMarsh
MrsObedMarsh
2 years ago

Mike Cernovich wrote an article about the burdens of his “fame” – link is archived here so you don’t have to give him the page views.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

Reads like Sterno’s been hitting the sauce again.

“I can’t trust anyone. So what if I invariably attack my friends, they should put up with it as the price of knowing me. So lonely.”

Guy sounds like Trump, without the minimal coarse charm.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

In all fairness, some gorillas are pretty suave…

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I like that the archive captured his ads for “Gorilla Force” supplements. What is it with right wingers and peddling dodgy pills. Like Paul Watson and his brainforce pills.

Everyone loves to “mock” Gorilla Mindset, but it’s my seminars and coaching and consulting that keep the lights on.

LOL.

People will set you up in honey pot operations.

If you’re a famous man, you think there must be some “perks” to fame. Remember that people who are attracted to you for your fame aren’t honorable people. Maybe someone is trying to frame you, or trap you, or is simply insane. Look at how many men are losing their livelihoods based on the flimsiest allegations. Ryan Lizza went from top dog at the New Yorker to nothing, based on stuff his ex-girlfriend said, which had nothing to do with his employment.

LOL squared.

You can’t tell jokes. Your words will be taken literally. They will be taken out of context. Your satire will be treated as sincere.

Tomi Lahren joked that her dog was being noisy, and she “kicked” her five times. She told this on her Instagram, and as we all know, she adores that dog.

Oh look. Another right winger who doesn’t know what satire is. Or humor. “I kicked my dog five times” isn’t even a joke. It’s just a horrible thing to do.

I made myself famous because that was the most effective way for me to serve my country in the current times.

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And I view my role as a Founding Father (or Mother). They risked their lives for freedom. I am fighting and risking my life for a cause greater than myself, and the downsides of fame are simply a cost of being a patriot.

http://78.media.tumblr.com/4ad24136e70f547a7be6e4a0111ac48f/tumblr_inline_nsb35va05q1s518gt_500.gif

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

And I view my role as a Founding Father (or Mother). They risked their lives for freedom. I am fighting and risking my life for a cause greater than myself, and the downsides of fame are simply a cost of being a patriot.

You just know this is stuff that he tells himself in the mirror to be able to sleep at night. Nobody’s buying it, ‘Roid Gut McGee.

And no, Therno, you are not “fighting and risking your life.” The Kurdish fighters in Syria are fighting for something greater than themselves; you’re just a two-bit con artist that rich people find to be a useful idiot. Remember, Alex Jones tossed you out on your rear for being a bad host.

Verily Baroque
Verily Baroque
2 years ago

And I view my role as a Founding Father (or Mother). They risked their lives for freedom. I am fighting and risking my life for a cause greater than myself, and the downsides of fame are simply a cost of being a patriot.

Would be interesting to hear him list all the no doubt numerous situations during the past, say, six months when his life has been in danger because of the unspecified actions he has taken for this unspecified cause he mentioned…

Shadowplay
2 years ago

Don’t have kittens. Don’t have puppies.

Do have something to restore flagging faith that humans are pretty damned cool.

Steampunked
Steampunked
2 years ago

So some ruffs (rather pretty birds) have a strategy where they have a female colour pattern (faeders). Females and males both prefer mating with them. These males are often the top, so the ‘more dominant’ males submit to them. From observation, the standard males are well aware the faeders are also male.

And females are more likely to mate with the masculine feathered ruff after witnessing him being mated by the faeder ruff.

None of which has to do with anything but it’s my favourite thing to bring up when someone is evopsyching based on animals and sex.

CNS
CNS
2 years ago

I find the rank arrogance of that marketing professors’s post profoundly gross. I guess I just expect that sort of drivel from the manosphere .

The effect testosterone is highly dependent on context. For example, it may increase agression in a competition, but it also exaggerates other emotions.

It doesn’t change existing social structures (males with more testosterone don’t become higher status) and it can’t be injected to initiate aggressive behavior in an otherwise peaceful context.

Here’s a brief clip (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpdNEd8fWcw) of Dr. Saposky at Stanford explaining the effect of testosterone on behavior in animal studies.

I don’t know why I’m even engaging the entire logic of the post is ridiculous. Good to know it’s not toxic for women to kill their mate after sex because it’s what the praying mantis does(/s)

On a happier note — cuttlefish are awesome!

Laugher at Bigots
2 years ago

Result: After an hour or so performing the “here are my steely balls, ladies, feast your eyes” gait, I can conclusively say that a lot… no, a WHOLE LOT… of women tossed me lascivious stares. Not “what is this weird guy doing?” looks; real hardcore “i want… i need… to get to know this man” stares.

I have missed how risibly prolix Heartiste is.

epitome of incomprehensibility

@Hambeast – speaking of schools…

Concordia University marketing professor and Evo Psych maven Gad Saad

I read that and thought, “Well, it’s probably not the Concordia University I went to. There are other Concordia Universities. Chances are it’s some other one.” No such luck!

As for comparing (non-human) animals to people… When I was a kid I thought it was odd how so many male animals (lions, deer, most birds) looked “prettier” so they could visually attract their female counterparts, whereas in humans this seemed to go the other way around (in my limited understanding).

Even in Saad’s examples, the male animals are more visually notable. So why is aggression the thing he’s stuck on? If he’s taking his cues from the animal kingdom, shouldn’t he conclude that wearing flashy clothes and makeup is THE macho thing to do?

nparker
nparker
2 years ago

Famous? He really is pathetically full of himself. An immodest man with much to be modest about. Most people will never have even heard of him, not even most people heavily involved in politics.

Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
2 years ago

I think I just sprained my eyeballs.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
2 years ago

Generally speaking, animals have no interest in teaching you anything.

Whoever said this could not be more wrong.

From the moment I open my eyes, my cats are alternately sweet-talking me (“You look lovely this morning, Mom!”) and cajoling me (“Might there be breakfast in the near future, Mother?”). Sometimes they get dramatic: “If I’m not fed instantly, I will die of hunger!”

Once their saucers have been filled and placed in front of them, they might be indignant about the entree: “What’s this? Did Other Cat crap on my saucer?”

They call it persuasion. I call it manipulation.

Msexceptiontotherule
Msexceptiontotherule
2 years ago

…And here I thought it was a bit manipulative the way my dog looks at me when I move in the slightest of ways as it potentially resulting in her getting fed…I get up to go to the bathroom = “is it food time again yet??” I shift in my chair = “you’re getting up to feed me now, right??” Doesn’t matter if she was just fed 10 minutes earlier it’s never too soon for more food!

She’d be much more plump if not for the treadmill that has kept us both exercised throughout the winter and all the snow that kept us from going outdoors for extended walks. I get on the treadmill and she gets on to ‘chase’ me.

If the PUA that is ‘fartiste’ really wants to see what the female response to his strutting around like a gorilla is, he should lock himself in a cage of the same dimensions as zoo enclosures for gorillas. And then wait. And keep waiting.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

he should lock himself in a cage of the same dimensions as zoo enclosures for gorillas

I misread you at first as saying he should be locked in with gorillas.

Though they don’t deserve him being inflicted upon them, it would be amusing – can you imagine his reaction to being pinned down by a gorilla that definitely out alphas him in the strength department … and being groomed? 😛

Sheila Crosby
2 years ago

Sterno has a very bleak view of human nature. He complains that they want his writing, products and attention without ever giving anything back, but then he’s carefully aiming his marketing at people who expect women to provide them with sex, cooking, cleaning, attention and perhaps money without ever giving anything back. Do you think this might possibly be true of his fans rather than humanity in general? /s

Germany is a police state. Pedophile gangs are allowed to roam freely. 

Might pssibly be talking out of his hat. Or something else round and inappropriate.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
2 years ago

@Msexceptiontotherule
It’s always time for food!

MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
MissEB47 (Resident Rainbow Lorikeet and Beak Typist)
2 years ago

I find it very stupid how the Red Pillers are obsessed with using animals to justify their shitty desires and behaviour towards women. There are too many different species with too many different behaviours. If they could cherry pick an animal to suit their world view, than I could just as easily provide a counter example. Such as emperor tamarins! They are polyandrous, with one dominant female mating with multiple males. When the female gives birth, the males all help care for the babies due to the possibility that the some of the babies are theirs. Female emperor tamarins often give birth to multiple young, so this helps ensure their survival. Therefore, male emperor tamarins are basically what the Red Pillers call Beta Male Cucks! Do they want humans to be like emperor tamarins now?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emperor_tamarin

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
2 years ago

@Lumipuna

Lumipuna is a random nonsensical Finnish word construct meaning “snow + red”, which I think sounds pretty.

Is it pronounced as it appears, or differently?
Snow + red is pretty, all right, although my first thought was blood on snow. I’ve been sneakily working Nick Cave songs into my class slides for tomorrow, so that’s probably why 🙂

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
2 years ago

@wwth,

I can’t believe none of us have gotten around to mocking this yet.

Look, I tried. But I just can’t type and laugh hysterically at the same time, okay?
And then Cernovich’s fame angst came up, and I simply resigned in despair.

Lukas
Lukas
2 years ago

Cats don’t teach. They issue proclamations to their minions. In between naps.

Hambeast
Hambeast
2 years ago

epitome of incomprehensibility – I wonder if it’s the same Concordia U that they tried to sell us on when I was in jr. high? I went to a parochial Missouri Synod Lutheran school. Mind, this was the 70s and our teachers were still on board with the whole education thing; we got taught the scientific method and everything. Only difference was we had one period of Religion in every semester of all three grades, which didn’t keep me from getting into AP classes in public high school.

Msexceptiontotherule
Msexceptiontotherule
2 years ago

@shadowplay

I would never subject gorillas to being caged in with the insufferable boor ‘fartiste’. What if they were to contract some terrible disease from grooming him!? It would be bad enough if they somehow started to behave like him! Besides, wild animals shouldn’t be stuck in zoos. ‘fartiste’, on the other hand…LOCK HIM UP!

@kat

Have you been secretly in contact with my dog!? I knew she has been practicing her mind control techniques to aid in her campaign for “more food, all the time more food” but I didn’t think she’d figured out how to use the telephone! 😉

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

Mish,

Is it pronounced as it appears, or differently?

Yes, all one-to-one, stress on “lu” and “pu”.

(the a is like in “what”, while ä would be like in “cat” and å like in “aw”)

Verily Baroque
Verily Baroque
2 years ago

@Mish

Is it pronounced as it appears, or differently?

This is a bit difficult to answer without knowing your native language. I for some reason think that you are either Australian or Austrian (might be confusing you for someone else, too, though).

Anyway, if you are Austrian, it’s pronounced exactly as you think. If you are Australian, have some IPA:
/ˈlumiˈpunɑ/

😀

ETA: Oops, Lumipuna beat me to the punch. Should have refreshed before commenting. Mea culpa.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

Verily Baroque:

I for some reason think that you are either Australian or Austrian.

I hear that distinction eludes many, globally speaking 🙂

Now, imagine if Finland had been stuck with its medieval Swedish name Österland. It’d likely have been latinized as “Ostria” for international use. We’d be always getting mixed up with Austria, and occasionally with Australia 🙂