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And now for today’s anatomically confused meme from some dude

Note to confused dudes: This is not how human females work

By David Futrelle

Does no one fact check their jokes any more? Below, a meme involving (cis) lady parts that is somewhat undermined in the hilarity department by the meme-maker’s apparent unfamiliarity with cis lady parts.

Uh, dude ....

Does the guy who made this think that cis ladies only have one big hole down there that basically handles everything?

No wonder some guys have trouble finding the clitoris.

Meme found on the delightful r/NotHowGirlsWork subreddit, posted by someone who ran across it on a “men’s humor” Facebook page.

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Bina's Little iPad Sock
Bina's Little iPad Sock
2 years ago

Do men not know of a little thing called TOILET PAPER?

MayhemSaint
MayhemSaint
2 years ago

Wow, and I thought I was bad at biology. Guy sounds like such an asshole!

Geddit?

…I’ll just see myself out…

Z&T
Z&T
2 years ago

I do think I might have a mature ovum on my back.

No wait, I think it’s just a Comcast ad I tried to toss out from the mail.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Women fart after they urinate? I mean I have farted after urinating before when I also have to poop. But that’s by no means every time I pee. Does this also mean that men never fart urinating? I have a hard time believing that.

But yeah, someone clearly didn’t realize that a fart breeze would have to basically make a u-turn to reach the urethra which is nowhere near the rectum. Did this guy think we pee out of the vaginal opening?

It’s terrifying how ignorant some people are of just basic anatomy.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

This is just silly. Women don’t pee or fart. They use the bathroom to dab powder on their noses and transubstantiate the salad they ate for lunch into a delicate, lavender-like aroma.

Annnnd that is one tiny pair of underpants.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

And surprise, surprise, the racists are now targeting “Wrinkle in Time” for the same hatefest of fake one star reviews that they hit “Black Panther” with, and before that “Last Jedi”.

http://www.indiewire.com/2018/03/a-wrinkle-in-time-rotten-tomatoes-imdb-ratings-user-reviews-1201938353/

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

I’m reminded of a conversation I once had. This took place nearly 20 years ago, but it still sticks with me because it was so bizarre.

I’m sitting in the break room at work. A coworker sits down at my table and asks, “do you ever fart when you pee?”

I’m a little dumbfounded by the question. Do I explain that sitting down on the toilet sometimes causes gas to move? That often we crap at the same time we pee so we just let loose? That the toilet is the safest and most appropriate place to fart and so we might as well, since we’re already there? Why is a grown man even asking this, and why at work? I decide not to go into any detail and reply with, “probably, why?”

He then goes on to tell a story of a time he snuck into the ladies’ room to surprise a woman he liked and she farted while she was peeing. He told this story as if sneaking into the bathroom to surprise someone was a normal thing and as if farting while peeing was an abnormal thing the woman should be embarrassed about.

I’ve always wondered when and where he thinks women should fart and why he thought this was such an unusual occurrence that it was worth telling people about. I sometimes think of it when reading this site and always thought the menzers would be as ignorant as he was on this topic, but apparently even they understand this is a thing that happens, even if they also are completely clueless about it.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
2 years ago

You ever try blow drying your hands in a restroom with, like, a machine entirely designed for performing that task? Cos that takes a minute, even with continuous gale force winds at hi temp. And a fart is meant to waft out indiscriminately for maybe 2sec and wick away all evidence of pee, just like that? Then again, they think shaking their junk entirely solves their own pee prollem, so…

Zaunfink
Zaunfink
2 years ago

@wwth

Did this guy think we pee out of the vaginal opening?

Even if we did, it wouldn’t reach! Wtf is he thinking? If he is thinking….

The only way I can see this work would be if women farted so hard when they pee that the fart came out like a mini tornado, hurtling around and around the toilet bowl, the massive forces of wind blowing everything dry. Although I guess that would suck up the water and create a water hose and get everything wet.

… Hey, free bidet!

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
2 years ago

Sigh.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

Dude’s an idiot.

Always thought women fart when they pee because it’s easier than repeating “occupied” to each person that rattles the door impatiently.

Fluffy Spider
Fluffy Spider
2 years ago

The level of complete idiocy of the meme is enough to shatter a dimension. Its almost fascinating how idiotic it is.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
2 years ago

Uh-huh. Everything about women is hilariously funny! At least to those individuals who are scared to death of us.

dust bunny
dust bunny
2 years ago

@ kupo

I vomited a little in my mouth from that story D: at least that guy kind of seems like he’s more clueless than usual, but it does make you think. What if average dudes are all like that underneath, and most just hide it better?

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
2 years ago

Uh, this guy thinks women do WHAT?

Weird (America Where Are You Now? Don't You Care About Your Sons And Daughters?) Eddie
Weird (America Where Are You Now? Don't You Care About Your Sons And Daughters?) Eddie
2 years ago

What if average dudes are all like that underneath, and most just hide it better?

… dammit, ya found us out….

Faerie Bard
Faerie Bard
2 years ago

Do men not know of a little thing called TOILET PAPER?

Since some of them seem to be unwilling to wipe their own asses, I’m really starting to wonder about that… it COULD explain some stuff.

And yeah, it’s not that hard to figure out, guys. Way easier than three seashells.

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
2 years ago

He then goes on to tell a story of a time he snuck into the ladies’ room to surprise a woman he liked and she farted while she was peeing.

What in the actual fuck??? Is this not being creepy enough already that you have to make yourself even creepier by openly boasting about stalking someone? In the restroom?

EDIT:

Btw, carrying on from that stupid book Steven Seagul wrote a while back, guess now we now why he’s so hostile to #Metoo:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Culture/steven-seagal-accused-women-rape-sexual-assault/story?id=53854333

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

I get that this is a joke, but does anybody actually think this is funny? It’s a question I really need to ask of a lot of the memesters out there. They’re honestly neither amusing nor insightful.

I’m a kid of the late 90s, early 2000s internet, so I went to all the “edgy” places online like Newgrounds and SomethingAwful and Maddox’s Best Page In the Universe and there was something kinda transgressive about those guys using the newfangled information superhighway to say all the naughty words, but that novelty quickly wears off and eventually people notice that you’ve really got nothing to say.

Ricky Gervais for example.

Because it was never really the “using the naughty words” part that was the joke. Not even with Carlin’s famous “7 words” bit. The joke was using the power of the state to censor slang terms that everybody uses was self-defeating. As Dick Coughlin has pointed out in a recent video, that kind of censorship no longer happens, so people whining about “political correctness killing comedy” are just upset that their 20-year-old gay jokes don’t get the guffaws they want. Because those old stereotypes have long since been disposed of (mostly). Most people agree the ending of Ace Ventura was, well… bad. Now Jim Carrey messing with Udo Kier, that’s still funny, but playing The Crying Game theme while Ace burns his clothes and cries in the shower… not funny anymore and to be honest, never really was.

I really get the impression that what’s happening to guys like Ricky Gervais is the same thing that happened to The Simpsons: they were the transgressive ones in the past, pushing the boundaries and upsetting what were sterile norms, but now they’re the norm and while The Simpsons was pleased to just accept that and continue cashing in, Gervais and Jerry Seinfeld and John Cleese seem upset that they’ve lost that cultural cache.

Sorry John, but it’s not 1979 anymore. Comedy films aren’t getting banned like Life of Brian was. We’re just demanding comedy with a little more craftsmanship. Don’t get us wrong, we like a good Biggus Dickus bit as much as anybody, but I’d prefer more Grammar Centurion and less “Haha, that Bruce Jenner’s a woman now! Isn’t that FUNNY? Laugh dammit!”

Weird (America Where Are You Now? Don't You Care About Your Sons And Daughters?) Eddie
Weird (America Where Are You Now? Don't You Care About Your Sons And Daughters?) Eddie
2 years ago

but that novelty quickly wears off and eventually people notice that you’ve really got nothing to say.

Swearing was “edgy” when Lenny Bruce did it… by the time Eddie Murphy tried to make comedy out of it, the “edge” had worn off. We all know how to swear, and fart jokes stopped being funny after third grade.

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
2 years ago

My spouse and I, a month or so back, watched the clip of Seinfeld’s “Transgender Airlines” quip that he was so upset the Kids These Days didn’t laugh at. Our reaction was basically:

Us: (Head tilt)
Me: (A day later) Wait, didn’t there used to be an airline called TransAmerica? (Looks it up, discovers it ceased operations in 1986) This is sort of like someone complaining the college crowd these days don’t appreciate the accuracy of his Spiro Agnew impression.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

Don’t like Gervais at all. His big comic role as David Brent was completely ripped off from Chris Barrie, who did it first and better in The Brittas Empire.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

If anyone is interested, this thread is a treasure trove of notallmen, MRA and right wing whines about single mothers being to blame for violence and evo psych.

https://twitter.com/VABVOX/status/975649851106054144

I’ve had some fun replying to these dudes.

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
2 years ago

I’m just puzzled that there’s a person who thinks a fart acts like a blow-dry, but still thinks that “shaking it” would be an implausible solution. There are whole music videos filled with women shaking their various parts.

I’m not saying it’d work, but that’s not to say women *can’t*.

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
2 years ago

@WWTH

Most of the thread is great, until the typical MRAs start making their appearance. At this point “Evo Psych” has just become a synonym for “bigotry disguised as pseudo-science” for me. Did that branch ever have any legitimacy to begin with? Or was it always a half-assed excuse to enforce status quo policies, designed to disenfranchise anyone not White, straight and male?

On the other hand, my sibling and I were raised by a single mother, and we did not shoot up a fucking school. Problem must lie elsewhere.

Weird (America Where Are You Now? Don't You Care About Your Sons And Daughters?) Eddie
Weird (America Where Are You Now? Don't You Care About Your Sons And Daughters?) Eddie
2 years ago

this post contains sarcasm…

@ wwth

re: the twitter

Conservative Atheist
‏ @NeoConAtheist

That’s because women aren’t nearly as aggressive or violent as men are. It’s a biological issue not a societal issue & we know this because this is true in every society on earth. Modern Western Civilization treats women far better than it does men.

… ahhh, so, an astronomically higher rate of violence, lower job prospects and an overall sense of “second-class-citizen”ness aside, you’re saying that being placed on a pedestal dressed in metaphorical Victoria’s Secret underwear (or not metaphorical) for the sexual gratification of all random male-presenting people in the vicinity… is a GOOD thing… thanx, “Conservative Athiest”, I did not know that.

E.T.A.:
comment image

Dan Kasteray
Dan Kasteray
2 years ago

The meme is about as funny as a brick to the face. I’m just curious as to what kind of vacuous clown would draw a laugh from it?

Skreee!kz!ee'ek!z
Skreee!kz!ee'ek!z
2 years ago

comment image

Why do human females release gas from their cloaka after the disposal of body waste?
Because they can’t shake their genitals and must expulse gas to clean their orifice.

Ha ha ha ha.

Now that the frozen water between us is shattered, how exactly do the defenses of our planet function?
I’m asking for an educational project.

laserqueen
laserqueen
2 years ago

I distinctly remember 9th grade biology where the male teacher taught the class that the urethra and the vagina were the same path. I questioned it, he doubled down, and a few other girls and I were exchanging questioning looks and “but you can still pee with a tampon in, right?” We let it drop of course, since the teacher had doubled down and was cranky with our questioning, but there was now a check mark in the “WTH does he know” column for this dude.

Things haven’t improved that much for some folk, apparently.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

… the male teacher taught the class that the urethra and the vagina were the same path.

And I thought passing a kidney stone were painful …

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
2 years ago

I’m so tempted to make a snarky comment that any biology teacher who can’t distinguish between the urethra and the vagina probably can’t find the clitoris either.

tim gueguen
2 years ago

@Katamount, the comments to the Ricky Gervais critique were pretty much what I expected, variations on “Of course it was funny, you have no sense of humour/That joke wasn’t prejudiced.” One even used the term “beta male” to refer to the author.

Austin Loomis
2 years ago

Katamount skrev:

The Simpsons was pleased to just accept that and continue cashing in

Of course they were. They were Groening’s fulfillment of THE ROZZ-TOX MANIFESTO‘s Item 10:

In a capitalistic society such as the one in which we live aesthetics as an endeavor flows through a body which is built of free enterprise and various illnesses. In boom times art may be supported by wildcat speculation or by excess funds in the form of grants from the state or patronship as a tax write-off. Currently we are suffering from a lean economy. By necessity we must be self-supporting. Popular media are bigger than fine art media. Aesthetic mediums must infiltrate popular mediums. We are building a business-based art movement. This is not new. Admitting it is.

(Items 9 and 11 are also relevant, but this quote is sufficiently long and pointless already.)

personalpest
personalpest
2 years ago

He then goes on to tell a story of a time he snuck into the ladies’ room to surprise a woman he liked and she farted while she was peeing. He told this story as if sneaking into the bathroom to surprise someone was a normal thing…

He’s lucky the woman didn’t surprise him with a slap in the face, punch in the nose or kick in the balls. IMHO, you couldn’t really blame her if she assumed she was being physically attacked and defended herself.

Fabe
Fabe
2 years ago

Off topic a bit but Netflix is releacing a “Lost in Space” reboot with a female Doctor Smith and a Black Robinson Daughter. The rage has already started in the comments section of the youtube trailer.

Bakunin
Bakunin
2 years ago

[burns a law review in a pentagram]
@ Alan
Off-topic question, I was reading about the Cambridge Analytica stuff, specifically a U.K. prosecutor announcing they’d be wanting some data from them, and some of the comments were wondering why you’d announce that a day before executing the search, since here in the US the shredders and magnets would be busy. Someone mentioned the U.K. does not have a right to remain silent, and that if anything did seem to be missing, that would be seen as incriminating in itself. That true?

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

@personalpest
I mean, I wanted to do all those things to him on a daily basis and I only spent maybe half an hour talking to him in the break room.

@Skreee!kz!ee’ek!z
That was brilliant.

Sylvia Daniella Foxglove
Sylvia Daniella Foxglove
2 years ago

And about a week ago I had an argument with someone who thought that women and men (couldn’t even comprehend intersex people) have a different number of ribs….

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

Biblical literalist? Adam’s missing rib? Did they also think the earth was only 6000 years old?

Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

@personalpest

He’s lucky the woman didn’t surprise him with a slap in the face, punch in the nose or kick in the balls. IMHO, you couldn’t really blame her if she assumed she was being physically attacked and defended herself.

I’m betting that he ducked into a woman’s washroom that had stalls in it, and the lady who he was stalking “surprising” was still in the stall with the door closed, since she was peeing (and apparently farting). With any luck, the farting startled the weirdo enough that he re-thought his brilliant plan to “surprise” a woman while she was in a restroom, and left. It’s possible that the woman didn’t even know he (specifically, as opposed to some other person coming into the bathroom) was there at all.

Hey, maybe that’s why women fart after they pee- to scare away predators. At least it makes more sense than attempting to blow dry your urethra with it.

The Real Cie
2 years ago

David, my friend, I do NOT want the kinds of fellows who make memes like this anywhere near my clitoris, or any other part of my body either! They are not welcome to go on a clitoris hunt in the Territory of Cie’s Pants.
The back passage doesn’t aim towards the urethra. You’d have to cut one hell of a fart to get a breeze strong enough to blow dry the pubic area.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ Bakunin

Someone mentioned the U.K. does not have a right to remain silent, and that if anything did seem to be missing, that would be seen as incriminating in itself. That true?

Heh, as always, it’s complicated.

In the UK you have a right to silence both when interviewed by the police and at trial. However in both cases a jury “may draw such adverse inference as they feel proper” from the excercise of that right.

But what’s happened here is slightly different.

You’re generally under no duty to help the police solve the case against you. So if after a bank robbery you throw the guns in a lake, that’s not a seperate offence in itself. However, if once an investigation has started you try to dispose of evidence then that becomes an attempt to pervert the course of justice.

So by announcing that she wants to see the paperwork, the information commissioner has set CA up for a seperate offence if they now try to frustrate that.

Hope that makes some sense.

It’s similar to Watgergate. Once a subpoena had been issued for the tapes then Nixon was stuffed. However John Dean (White House counsel at the time) has said that his advice was that prior to the subpoena Nixon should have burned the tapes on the White House lawn.

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

@tim guenen

You noticed that too, huh? Kinda pathetic if you have to start bombarding comment threads to stand up for your comic standard-bearer (which already speaks to a broader problem of why it takes comedians to relate your pre-existing grievances).

Actually, I think it’s worth elaborating on that problem. Comedy and satire can serve some wonderful purposes in recontextualizing daily life and pointing out absurdities, but more and more I’ve been seeing it as a shield to guard against consequences for things you actually do believe in the most obnoxious, cowardly way.

The whole Count Dankula thing is a great illustration of that. Cliffs Notes version: dumb British YouTuber decided teaching his girlfriend’s pug to do a Hitler salute at the prompt of “gas the Jews” was a funny thing to put online. The British authorities, noticing the repeated incitement to genocide, arrested and convicted him of being “grossly offensive.”

He hasn’t been sentenced yet (and personally, I don’t think he deserves jail time), but this is the first example the “OMFG tyrannical leftist SJWs!” brigade bring up. If Dankula was Canadian, he’d probably be in the same hot water, because the Criminal Code does make incitement to genocide a hate speech and doesn’t factor in “it was for the lulz!” as a defense.

Personally, I don’t think this Meecham guy is anti-Semitic (granted, I don’t watch him), but he’s been bolstered and I’m told hangs out with people who are, so that should tell you everything you need to know about why messing around with hate speech as a meme is bad news. There are people who want to undercut the severity of these concepts for their own ends.

There’s this old series I used to watch on Newgrounds, which I still sub to on YouTube called Neurotically Yours, which follows the weird trials of a goth girl named Germaine and her pet squirrel Foamy. The guy who does the series has a regular streaming bit called Lil Pum’kin where he occasionally goes on these “OMG snowflakes fuck your feelings” rants and I’ve seen his Foamy character deliver these as well. Now, both of these characters are supposed to be irreverent, but when I look in the comment section and see a bunch of edgelords braying “FOAMY SPEAKS FOR ME,” I gotta just bury my head in my hands. Because the joke is that you’re agreeing with a cartoon squirrel and a pumpkin puppet. Neither the creator, nor his commenters actually have the courage to put their names to those opinions, a trend I’ve noticed in a lot of the edgelords. Their political positions are ever-shifting and obscured in layers of irony and jargon.

Now, I’m anonymous because I draw tiger-man wieners for fun, an activity that hasn’t quite achieved mainstream acceptance (although we’re working on it.) But what’s these guys’ excuses?

Hambeast
Hambeast
2 years ago

@Skreee!kz!ee’ek!z – Best first post I’ve seen in a long while!

Apologies if it isn’t the first; I often miss things.

Malice W Underland
2 years ago

I have a confession. As a vagina-haver with a childish sense of humour, I actually think the fart joke is kinda funny despite being anatomically wrong.

Or rather it would be funny if it was being told in the spirit of “it’s fun to make childish potty humour jokes.” But unfortunately in the context of “men’s humour” I read it as just “girls are icky.”

dawnpurityseeker
dawnpurityseeker
2 years ago

I’ve found one of these guys in the wild!

The Supergirl subreddit linked to Our Bodies, Ourselves’ page on the myths about the hymen (don’t ask), and the comments are depressingly mostly women afraid that they’ll get divorced/murdered for not bleeding on their wedding night. Except for this one women who wondered how she still had an intact hymen after years of being married and having painful sex, and the (most likely) dude who helpfully answered;

“You might have been having sex in your urethera if you have been experiencing painful sex and your ob/gyn says your hymen is still in tact.”

O_o