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And now for today’s anatomically confused meme from some dude

Note to confused dudes: This is not how human females work

By David Futrelle

Does no one fact check their jokes any more? Below, a meme involving (cis) lady parts that is somewhat undermined in the hilarity department by the meme-maker’s apparent unfamiliarity with cis lady parts.

Uh, dude ....

Does the guy who made this think that cis ladies only have one big hole down there that basically handles everything?

No wonder some guys have trouble finding the clitoris.

Meme found on the delightful r/NotHowGirlsWork subreddit, posted by someone who ran across it on a “men’s humor” Facebook page.

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Weird (America Where Are You Now? Don't You Care About Your Sons And Daughters?) Eddie
Weird (America Where Are You Now? Don't You Care About Your Sons And Daughters?) Eddie
6 years ago

this post contains sarcasm…

@ wwth

re: the twitter

Conservative Atheist
‏ @NeoConAtheist

That’s because women aren’t nearly as aggressive or violent as men are. It’s a biological issue not a societal issue & we know this because this is true in every society on earth. Modern Western Civilization treats women far better than it does men.

… ahhh, so, an astronomically higher rate of violence, lower job prospects and an overall sense of “second-class-citizen”ness aside, you’re saying that being placed on a pedestal dressed in metaphorical Victoria’s Secret underwear (or not metaphorical) for the sexual gratification of all random male-presenting people in the vicinity… is a GOOD thing… thanx, “Conservative Athiest”, I did not know that.

E.T.A.:
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Dan Kasteray
Dan Kasteray
6 years ago

The meme is about as funny as a brick to the face. I’m just curious as to what kind of vacuous clown would draw a laugh from it?

Skreee!kz!ee'ek!z
Skreee!kz!ee'ek!z
6 years ago

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Why do human females release gas from their cloaka after the disposal of body waste?
Because they can’t shake their genitals and must expulse gas to clean their orifice.

Ha ha ha ha.

Now that the frozen water between us is shattered, how exactly do the defenses of our planet function?
I’m asking for an educational project.

laserqueen
laserqueen
6 years ago

I distinctly remember 9th grade biology where the male teacher taught the class that the urethra and the vagina were the same path. I questioned it, he doubled down, and a few other girls and I were exchanging questioning looks and “but you can still pee with a tampon in, right?” We let it drop of course, since the teacher had doubled down and was cranky with our questioning, but there was now a check mark in the “WTH does he know” column for this dude.

Things haven’t improved that much for some folk, apparently.

Shadowplay
6 years ago

… the male teacher taught the class that the urethra and the vagina were the same path.

And I thought passing a kidney stone were painful …

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
6 years ago

I’m so tempted to make a snarky comment that any biology teacher who can’t distinguish between the urethra and the vagina probably can’t find the clitoris either.

tim gueguen
6 years ago

@Katamount, the comments to the Ricky Gervais critique were pretty much what I expected, variations on “Of course it was funny, you have no sense of humour/That joke wasn’t prejudiced.” One even used the term “beta male” to refer to the author.

Austin Loomis
6 years ago

Katamount skrev:

The Simpsons was pleased to just accept that and continue cashing in

Of course they were. They were Groening’s fulfillment of THE ROZZ-TOX MANIFESTO‘s Item 10:

In a capitalistic society such as the one in which we live aesthetics as an endeavor flows through a body which is built of free enterprise and various illnesses. In boom times art may be supported by wildcat speculation or by excess funds in the form of grants from the state or patronship as a tax write-off. Currently we are suffering from a lean economy. By necessity we must be self-supporting. Popular media are bigger than fine art media. Aesthetic mediums must infiltrate popular mediums. We are building a business-based art movement. This is not new. Admitting it is.

(Items 9 and 11 are also relevant, but this quote is sufficiently long and pointless already.)

personalpest
personalpest
6 years ago

He then goes on to tell a story of a time he snuck into the ladies’ room to surprise a woman he liked and she farted while she was peeing. He told this story as if sneaking into the bathroom to surprise someone was a normal thing…

He’s lucky the woman didn’t surprise him with a slap in the face, punch in the nose or kick in the balls. IMHO, you couldn’t really blame her if she assumed she was being physically attacked and defended herself.

Fabe
Fabe
6 years ago

Off topic a bit but Netflix is releacing a “Lost in Space” reboot with a female Doctor Smith and a Black Robinson Daughter. The rage has already started in the comments section of the youtube trailer.

Bakunin
Bakunin
6 years ago

[burns a law review in a pentagram]
@ Alan
Off-topic question, I was reading about the Cambridge Analytica stuff, specifically a U.K. prosecutor announcing they’d be wanting some data from them, and some of the comments were wondering why you’d announce that a day before executing the search, since here in the US the shredders and magnets would be busy. Someone mentioned the U.K. does not have a right to remain silent, and that if anything did seem to be missing, that would be seen as incriminating in itself. That true?

kupo
kupo
6 years ago

@personalpest
I mean, I wanted to do all those things to him on a daily basis and I only spent maybe half an hour talking to him in the break room.

@Skreee!kz!ee’ek!z
That was brilliant.

Sylvia Daniella Foxglove
Sylvia Daniella Foxglove
6 years ago

And about a week ago I had an argument with someone who thought that women and men (couldn’t even comprehend intersex people) have a different number of ribs….

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
6 years ago

Biblical literalist? Adam’s missing rib? Did they also think the earth was only 6000 years old?

Catalpa
Catalpa
6 years ago

@personalpest

He’s lucky the woman didn’t surprise him with a slap in the face, punch in the nose or kick in the balls. IMHO, you couldn’t really blame her if she assumed she was being physically attacked and defended herself.

I’m betting that he ducked into a woman’s washroom that had stalls in it, and the lady who he was stalking “surprising” was still in the stall with the door closed, since she was peeing (and apparently farting). With any luck, the farting startled the weirdo enough that he re-thought his brilliant plan to “surprise” a woman while she was in a restroom, and left. It’s possible that the woman didn’t even know he (specifically, as opposed to some other person coming into the bathroom) was there at all.

Hey, maybe that’s why women fart after they pee- to scare away predators. At least it makes more sense than attempting to blow dry your urethra with it.

The Real Cie
The Real Cie
6 years ago

David, my friend, I do NOT want the kinds of fellows who make memes like this anywhere near my clitoris, or any other part of my body either! They are not welcome to go on a clitoris hunt in the Territory of Cie’s Pants.
The back passage doesn’t aim towards the urethra. You’d have to cut one hell of a fart to get a breeze strong enough to blow dry the pubic area.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
6 years ago

@ Bakunin

Someone mentioned the U.K. does not have a right to remain silent, and that if anything did seem to be missing, that would be seen as incriminating in itself. That true?

Heh, as always, it’s complicated.

In the UK you have a right to silence both when interviewed by the police and at trial. However in both cases a jury “may draw such adverse inference as they feel proper” from the excercise of that right.

But what’s happened here is slightly different.

You’re generally under no duty to help the police solve the case against you. So if after a bank robbery you throw the guns in a lake, that’s not a seperate offence in itself. However, if once an investigation has started you try to dispose of evidence then that becomes an attempt to pervert the course of justice.

So by announcing that she wants to see the paperwork, the information commissioner has set CA up for a seperate offence if they now try to frustrate that.

Hope that makes some sense.

It’s similar to Watgergate. Once a subpoena had been issued for the tapes then Nixon was stuffed. However John Dean (White House counsel at the time) has said that his advice was that prior to the subpoena Nixon should have burned the tapes on the White House lawn.

Katamount
Katamount
6 years ago

@tim guenen

You noticed that too, huh? Kinda pathetic if you have to start bombarding comment threads to stand up for your comic standard-bearer (which already speaks to a broader problem of why it takes comedians to relate your pre-existing grievances).

Actually, I think it’s worth elaborating on that problem. Comedy and satire can serve some wonderful purposes in recontextualizing daily life and pointing out absurdities, but more and more I’ve been seeing it as a shield to guard against consequences for things you actually do believe in the most obnoxious, cowardly way.

The whole Count Dankula thing is a great illustration of that. Cliffs Notes version: dumb British YouTuber decided teaching his girlfriend’s pug to do a Hitler salute at the prompt of “gas the Jews” was a funny thing to put online. The British authorities, noticing the repeated incitement to genocide, arrested and convicted him of being “grossly offensive.”

He hasn’t been sentenced yet (and personally, I don’t think he deserves jail time), but this is the first example the “OMFG tyrannical leftist SJWs!” brigade bring up. If Dankula was Canadian, he’d probably be in the same hot water, because the Criminal Code does make incitement to genocide a hate speech and doesn’t factor in “it was for the lulz!” as a defense.

Personally, I don’t think this Meecham guy is anti-Semitic (granted, I don’t watch him), but he’s been bolstered and I’m told hangs out with people who are, so that should tell you everything you need to know about why messing around with hate speech as a meme is bad news. There are people who want to undercut the severity of these concepts for their own ends.

There’s this old series I used to watch on Newgrounds, which I still sub to on YouTube called Neurotically Yours, which follows the weird trials of a goth girl named Germaine and her pet squirrel Foamy. The guy who does the series has a regular streaming bit called Lil Pum’kin where he occasionally goes on these “OMG snowflakes fuck your feelings” rants and I’ve seen his Foamy character deliver these as well. Now, both of these characters are supposed to be irreverent, but when I look in the comment section and see a bunch of edgelords braying “FOAMY SPEAKS FOR ME,” I gotta just bury my head in my hands. Because the joke is that you’re agreeing with a cartoon squirrel and a pumpkin puppet. Neither the creator, nor his commenters actually have the courage to put their names to those opinions, a trend I’ve noticed in a lot of the edgelords. Their political positions are ever-shifting and obscured in layers of irony and jargon.

Now, I’m anonymous because I draw tiger-man wieners for fun, an activity that hasn’t quite achieved mainstream acceptance (although we’re working on it.) But what’s these guys’ excuses?

Hambeast
Hambeast
6 years ago

@Skreee!kz!ee’ek!z – Best first post I’ve seen in a long while!

Apologies if it isn’t the first; I often miss things.

Malice W Underland
6 years ago

I have a confession. As a vagina-haver with a childish sense of humour, I actually think the fart joke is kinda funny despite being anatomically wrong.

Or rather it would be funny if it was being told in the spirit of “it’s fun to make childish potty humour jokes.” But unfortunately in the context of “men’s humour” I read it as just “girls are icky.”

dawnpurityseeker
dawnpurityseeker
6 years ago

I’ve found one of these guys in the wild!

The Supergirl subreddit linked to Our Bodies, Ourselves’ page on the myths about the hymen (don’t ask), and the comments are depressingly mostly women afraid that they’ll get divorced/murdered for not bleeding on their wedding night. Except for this one women who wondered how she still had an intact hymen after years of being married and having painful sex, and the (most likely) dude who helpfully answered;

“You might have been having sex in your urethera if you have been experiencing painful sex and your ob/gyn says your hymen is still in tact.”

O_o