By David Futrelle
Despite their often quite limited experience with vaginas in the field, so-called Men Going Their Own Way have very strong opinions on the subject. For example, that vaginas are all super stinky and gross. Sour, like grapes.
In a recent discussion in the MGTOW subreddit, a number of forum regulars set forth their theories on vaginal yuckiness, and why gay men are lucky that they get to avoid them.
By contrast, penises totally aren’t gross at all. Not that any of these guys are into them! 
Still, life would be so much easier if they were gay, though NO WAY THEY’RE NOT INTERESTED, nope, definitely DO NOT WANT.
Also, did you know that 20-year-old vaginas are much cleaner than those attached to old hags over the age of 25 or so? SCIENCE FACT.
My condolences to all those who will never get to experience the joy of sex with one of these dudes because their vaginas are too old and stinky.
Dr Jen Gunter is a legend. I’m forever grateful for the mammotheer who posted a link to her blog a couple of years back (it was WWTH or Croquembouche, I think?).
The more I re-read this, the funnier it gets:
It’s got its own little rhythm; you can kind of sing it (or rap it):
“Penis is a thing that exists.
Other men have one, I have one,
It’s okay.
I don’t want to touch penis,
Other than my penis,
But penis isn’t gross
If one pops up in a porn,
Oh well.”
@Mish, this is NOT the penis museum.
It is the penis poetry slam. 😀
@ epitomeofincomprehensibilty
You have to use Clitmus Paper!
(I’m in town all week; try the veal)
These dudes tend to forget they, too, have smells.
None of these dudes has “seen” a vagina unless he has access to a speculum.
Oh Jesus. In my experience, even never-het gay men enjoy hanging out with women because toxic masculinity is *you know* toxic. Plus gay men enjoy a friendship with no sex side issue as much as the next woman.
I’m not even going to touch the “cunt is crap” nonsense (yes, I went there) because a) I have one and it rocks, and b) I’ve been intimate with both dicks and cunts, both are fine, and neither are more important than the people attached to them.
It’s guaranteed that all the guys making giant fusses in public about seeing penises in Wild Things and GoT watch oodles of porn featuring penises on a regular basis (not to mention assorted closeups of hairy asses, etc) without blinking. You can’t watch mainstream straight porn without seeing a lot of dicks and other parts of male anatomy that aren’t visible when men are clothed. So I suspect the big fuss they make when they see a dick in a non-porn movie or show is a bit performative; they might as well be yelling out “I’m not gay, nope!”
@David
Hello!
Is that because when it’s porn they’re busy pretending it’s their dick? Out of wanking context it’s a bit of a shock.
Just a thought.
Lovely to have you back!
@epitome
I’m slightly bruised by the idea of a penis poetry slam and I have no skin in the game (literally).
Maybe I’m thinking too much.
“I wouldn’t find this part of human anatomy attractive if it weren’t for all the stupid hormones in my brain” is an incredibly banal statement, if you think about it.
“This activity wouldn’t make me happy without all this serotonin messing me up!”
Of course, your average MGTOW seems like the sort of guy who’d insist to someone that they’re not in love, they’re just experiencing a chemical infatuation, to cover up the fact that they themselves have difficulty feeling anything but hatred and jealousy for others, so… yeah. Color me unsurprised.
I’ll just leave this right here. (assuming my linking works)
@ Alan
Okay, that joke made me laugh pretty hard.
We ladies here smell like Mountain Rain. Because our Other Z got a giant bottle of this (“Xtra”) laundry soap and split it with us.
It is a good laundry soap, smells nice too.
We beat the bulk sellers by splitting among us. You can get some swank toilet paper this way too.
Thus, our bits, have the most excellent of aromas!
😀
As a (part time, gender fluidity ftw) trans man, this whole thing just makes me sigh.
Wow, I’ve never seen a more obvious bunch of virgins in my life, they can’t even pretend they’ve actually seen one up close. I feel like this is one of those things where a guy gets rejected by a woman and then he says she’s fat and ugly and he didn’t want her anyway, even though he was just aggressively perusing her. Is there a word for that?
Also, I feel like I’ll regret asking, but what the hell is “divorce-rape”?
At least they know that women have pubic hair.
Earlier this year I was reading Cosey Fanni Tutti’s autobiography Art Sex Music. It includes a lot about her work in the UK porn industry in the ’70s. She noted that photo shoots where the model had a hairless pubic area were considered a specialty assignment, and were actually a bit of a bother for models. You’d lose a bit of work while waiting for the hair to grow back.
@ Dr. Thang
Divorce-rape is their term for husbands being obligated to split assets with (and potentially pay alimony or child support to) their wives upon divorce.
‘Cause, you see, when a woman is raped, her most valuable asset is stolen, so ‘stealing’ money from a man is the exact same thing as rape. The term comes about from a combination of them considering women’s bodies commodities and also of them trying to use progressive language to suit their own purposes without actually understanding the term at all.
Not to mention that ingrown hair follicles in that body area really fucking hurt.
@ Catalpa
By Odin’s balls, that was somehow even worse than I could have imagined. But, you gotta know what you’re getting into when you ask questions about these pitiful shit goblins.
Indeed there is; it’s usually called “sour grapes”.
“Sour grapes”, from the Aesop fable of the fox who wanted to get a bunch of grapes, and when he couldn’t he sniffed “Well, those grapes are all shriveled and sour anyway”.
And I’m going to skip all the mgtow nonsense to ask wtf is up with that Kotex ad?
Incels get a mention in the latest Dumbing of Age strip. Unfortunately I find myself suspecting Faz is a prime candidate to fall for Incel or MGTOW nonsense when being a PUA fails.
The 70’s were a verystrange time.
All heterosexual men should be able to agree the attraction to women in general and to their vaginas in particular seems bizarre when we aren’t caught up in the heat of passion, we’re thinking clearly, and we consider what they are.
“Woman is a temple built over a sewer.”
– Tertullian, Early Church Father
“The value of vagina is only good from 18 to 29. Pussy get old like bread not like wine.”
– Patrice O’Neal, Philosopher King
Are you new? If so, welcome!
I’m confused by it too. I think there’s an infection that can cause a fishy odor. But menstrual fluid? Does not smell fishy. At least not in my experience. So I’m not sure what they were going for either.
@Uly
If new, welcome! Also yeah the hell’s with the fish hook and fish attached to that woman’s vagina? The ad’s french and says roughly “I’m like a fish in water.” Still doesn’t explain anything.