By David Futrelle
Despite their often quite limited experience with vaginas in the field, so-called Men Going Their Own Way have very strong opinions on the subject. For example, that vaginas are all super stinky and gross. Sour, like grapes.
In a recent discussion in the MGTOW subreddit, a number of forum regulars set forth their theories on vaginal yuckiness, and why gay men are lucky that they get to avoid them.
By contrast, penises totally aren’t gross at all. Not that any of these guys are into them! 
Still, life would be so much easier if they were gay, though NO WAY THEY’RE NOT INTERESTED, nope, definitely DO NOT WANT.
Also, did you know that 20-year-old vaginas are much cleaner than those attached to old hags over the age of 25 or so? SCIENCE FACT.
My condolences to all those who will never get to experience the joy of sex with one of these dudes because their vaginas are too old and stinky.
Having followed you for a long, long time, one thing about the posts you profile has not changed: the utter ignorance of the participants posting are in all things vagina.
Vaginas are actually very clean. They essentially secrete hydrogen peroxide to prevent bacterial infection.
I doubt any of these guys have seen an actual vagina in real life.
Yes, vaginas are so disgusting that Larry Flynt and Bob Guccione made millions of dollars and built huge publishing empires publishing pictures of naked women spreading their legs.
@MHC: Yeah, but the HORMONES, man, they control everything!
Oh, reminds me again of this horrible ex boyfriend of mine who claimed women who’ve slept around are objectively more “dirty” than men who’ve slept around because vaginas are holes and cannot be fully cleaned out or something like that.
But really, being grossed out by vaginas and and then still claim you want to have sex with vagina-havers is just… really… weird.
Yet, apparently gay men have no HORMONES.
Setting aside the ignorance about vaginas and the weird certainty MGTOWs have that they smell really bad, they’re wrong about men not being disgusted by other men’s penises.
I saw Wild Things in the theater. There was a scene with full frontal Kevin Bacon nudity. Pretty much all the men in the theater yelled with disgust. A year later I watched it on video with some friends and a guy who had seen it already actually warned the other guys who hadn’t seen it when the penis sighting was coming so they could cover their eyes.
Things haven’t changed since the late 90s. A couple of years ago there was a scene on Game of Thrones that featured a sex scene between Loras and male sex worker Olyvar (I think that was his name?) and Olyvar’s penis appeared on screen. At a fan site I frequent there were dudebros all over the place complaining about the scene. Nevermind that GoT is usually replete with female full frontal nudity.
Men freak about the sight of a penis all the damn time. Women on the other hand, generally are not grossed out by either type of genitals. At least not to the point of immature screeching and exaggerated disgust. Sure, we’re grossed out by unsolicited dick pics and flashers. But not because penises are gross. Because the lack of consent to see the particular is gross and threatening.
My theory? It’s down to the way girls and boys are socialized. Girls are usually expected to care for younger siblings. Encouraged to babysit as a way to earn pocket money. Boys are not. Just about all women even if we don’t have kids have changed diapers before. We’re used to being near genitals and butts in a non-sexual context in a way that men generally aren’t until they have their own babies. Add that to the stigma around menstruation and the fact that we shield men from ever having to hear too much about it and you have a recipe for being unable to handle the sight of genitals outside of sexual encounters and porn. MGTOWs take it to a ridiculous extreme and talk themselves into disgust with genitals even in a sexual context. Or maybe especially in a sexual context.
Now I’m going to link to the very best stinky vagina rant ever posted here
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2013/09/21/christopher-in-oregon-deconstructs-the-female-and-her-allegedly-very-stinky-you-know-what/
Never seen one that were transparent, flat and filled with nutrient agar before. Come to think on it, never seen one that could handle being autoclaved.
If it will keep these guys far, far away from me, I’ll happily plaster my crotch with biohazard warning labels.
You can run, but you can’t hide.
Well, I don’t want to get into the circumcision argument, because you know how unproductive those are, but an uncircumcised man needs to take a little more care over hygiene.
Not necessarily in that order.
It’s weird how they talk as if gay men are the ideal, unpolluted by those troublesome hormones (lolwut?), and yet they’re quick to emphasise “no homo”.
So in Magic: The Gathering circles, there has been a loud uproar from the more… snowflakey types who are howling that SJWs are ruining their game by Wizards of the Coast recognizing that people other than straight white cis men (aka SWCM) exist. It got worse when one YouTuber received a lifetime ban from official tournaments thanks to the organized harassment of a female cosplayer (and we’re all familiar with the usual arguments that it “wasn’t harassment blah blah blah).
The reason I’m bringing this up in the comments to a completely unrelated post?
At least on Twitter – I don’t have the inclination to see where else this has spread – they’ve started “organizing” themselves as… MTGTOW.
*sigh*
Unlike MGTOW and very much like GG, they’re claiming they are open to everyone and there are some non-SWCM involved because there are always those who are willing to contribute to their own erasure, but yeah. MTGTOW is every bit like you expect it to be.
A friend came close…
http://www.period.media/promotion/vaginal-steaming/
WWTH:
Isn’t this the reason for the popularity of faux lesbian porn among straight guys? Twice the boobs (and, sadly, twice the vaginae), no troubling penises.
Bacteria are really important for a healthy vagina. Vaginas have very complex populations of bacteria that help protect against invading pathogens. In particular, lactic acid bacteria lower the pH to inhibit the growth of other microorganisms, making infections less likely.
(Possible TMI)
Frequent douching can disrupt the microbial population, leading to yeast infections.
And just in case any MGTOW are lurking, everyone have a vaguely vaginal looking Jovian storm
https://twitter.com/NASA/status/975123865851584512
WWTH,
Christopher from Oregon is one of those I was thinking of! Lol ?
The commercials for various products that are supposed to balance ph and the feminine hygiene sprays could have something to do with why these guys believe such utter nonsense.
Vaginas are kind of like the human body version of a self cleaning oven. They don’t need some ph product, nor a spray, and they most definitely and emphatically do not need MGTOW.
He’s just getting an early start on celebrating the 12th anniversary of Ace of Spades’ justifiably infamous “Play-Doh and bacon” post. (No direct link because life is short and brain cells don’t come back, won’t come back, once they’re gone.)
The woman who came up with the phrase “the vagina is like a self cleaning oven”, Dr Jen Gunter, is a highly qualified and respected gynecologist.
She probably sees more vagina in a week than the most wildly “successful ” manospherean does in a year.
I’ll go with her, and science, thanks.
https://drjengunter.wordpress.com/2011/07/31/why-shouldnt-you-douche-because-the-vagina-is-like-a-self-cleaning-oven/
ninja’d!
These guys are the sorts of guys who would never change a baby’s diaper ’cause it’s “gross”, but think they’re super manly resilient macho bros.
(typed that as “mancho bors” originally, really shoulda kept it)
They’re the same guys who complain about having to wipe their asses or keep their homes clean. As in, they’re inconsistent as shit in every dimension but one – the “belittling women” dimension.
There’s a doctor who episode in there somewhere.
I’m a little drunk! Makes the programming easier. Not as good for the toddler-watching though.
Aren’t these the same guys who refuse to wipe because skid marks are manly?
Yeah I don’t think they understand hygiene that well…
Aren’t these the same guys who refuse to wipe because skid marks are manly?
Yeah I don’t think they understand hygiene that well…
Good lord, they’re all trying to out-Aunt Ada Doom each other. “I saw something nasty in the woodshed.”
Don’t gay men also encounter bacteria, BO, and orifices?
@WWTH – My first thought was Christopher from Oregon too! Wasn’t he a ray of sunshine?
@Tabby Lavalamp
I remember over hearing a Magic player complaining that the card isn’t as sexy as it use to be at my local comic and games store. Don’t recall if he said anything about the SJW boogieman but I got the feeling that he was in thecamp that think they’re out to get him.
Today I Learned:
1. The only alternative to being turned on by something is to be grossed out by it. (That might complicate my relationship with food…)
2. I have to constantly balance the pH of my vagina. (How does one go about that?)
3. Vaginas are sentient and can initiate divorces.
4. Vaginas are literally Petri dishes.
(If we combine the last two, does that mean Petri dishes can initiate divorces? Who do they want to get divorced from?? How did they get married in the first place??? So many questions.)