20 minutes into collusion and chill and he gives you this look
By David Futrelle
Some people like to crochet while they watch TV. Me, I like to take pictures of Trump family members and/or administration officials and run them through weird DreamscopeApp filters that make them look as creepy on the outside as they are on the inside.
Today it’s Don Jr’s turn. His wife filed for divorce yesterday. Her loss is every straight American woman’s gain!
Let’s tale a look at this soon-to-be very eligible bachelor.
A pic from Don Jr’s wedding, with his equally dashing little brother Eric. Little did Don Jr. know that it would all end in tears. Tears of joy, probably, on the part of his soon-to-be ex-wife.He was such a handsome fella back in those days. Not that he’s anything to sneeze at now!A cool thing about Don Jr. is that he replaced all of his teeth with one giant tooth.Such beautiful dead eyes!It’s like he’s staring into your soul, if your soul is located somewhere off to the side and in the distance.Come on, dude. Don’t make it weird.
Oh, and Vanessa Trump has apparently hired a criminal defense attorney for the divorce instead of the usual divorce attorney. You’ve got to think she knows some stuff and will either be willing to talk or she’ll have to because with no more spousal privilege, she can be subpoenaed.
@Kay – be grateful. He didn’t use the filters that trigger trypophobia this time.
Don’t google it.
(A)utonomist Escapist
6 years ago
And here I was, enjoying a quiet friday evening. No sleep for me I guess…
Katamount
6 years ago
His poor kids… they have that face to look forward to.
Victorious Parasol
6 years ago
I object, Mr. Futrelle. Some of us KNIT while watching TV.
Ooglyboggles
6 years ago
@weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
My dog does not deserve to see these pics. She literally hid behind my armpit upon seeing them.
Fluffy Spider
6 years ago
100 percent nightmare fuel brought to us by Mr Futrelle.
Your my hero
Horrorfan510
6 years ago
Well Mr. Futrelle, thanks to this post I’m renouncing feminism forever and going MGTOW. Now to learn how to survive on boxed mac and cheese and seagull meat…
Ross
6 years ago
David, as much as I appreciate your effort to make members of the Trump family as creepy on the outside as they are on the inside, I fear the challenge is insurmountable.
Temascos
6 years ago
Christian Bale is practically made to play the role of Donald Trump Jr.
Needs more empty hallways and blood so I’ll have to rate this a negative 1 million out of 2.
The worst possible score in the universe my good man! 🙂
I refuse to joke about Vanessa Trump bc it’s NEVER funny when a couple files for an uncontested quick divorce, one where assets can be swiftly transferred, on the same day an independent special counsel subpoenas their family business. People, this could happen to you someday.
It never occurred to me that this might be the reason until I read that. Of course, I find Jr to be entirely divorceable, so it didn’t occur to me someone would need *another* reason.
Dalillama
6 years ago
@kupo
I’m not seeing where that makes it less funny. The opposite, really. Or is that the joke?
kupo
6 years ago
I didn’t post it for the lame attempt at humor.
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
6 years ago
So… do we count this towards the staffer exodus or nah?
Trish
6 years ago
Truly ugly-both inside and out.
(A)utonomist Escapist
6 years ago
@Axecalibur: It’s a grey area to be sure, but I think we could view it as part of a general tendency of the Trumps to repulse people around them…
misophistry
6 years ago
I expect to see horrifying things on this site so I was braced. D: D: D:
@WWTH this cheered me right up.
Oh, and Vanessa Trump has apparently hired a criminal defense attorney for the divorce instead of the usual divorce attorney. You’ve got to think she knows some stuff and will either be willing to talk or she’ll have to because with no more spousal privilege, she can be subpoenaed.
Wondering
6 years ago
Kupo, I was thinking the same thing.
He’s not contesting the divorce, the disposition of assets, or the custody of their kids? And she’s doing this with a criminal lawyer? This doesn’t look like it’s about the failure of their marriage at all.
Eh, he’s not just a criminal lawyer. Does civil and divorce stuff too, according to the Thinkprogress guy (Jud Legum) who did some digging around. I respect Legum a lot, and if he’s calling it a nada, I’ll not argue. Still funny though.
Why would you do this, Mr. Futrelle. This is horrifying.
Shivers…
He kind of looks like when Balthazar’s demon half comes out in Constantine
He always gave me a far less attractive version of Gavin Rossdale thing.
Oh, and Vanessa Trump has apparently hired a criminal defense attorney for the divorce instead of the usual divorce attorney. You’ve got to think she knows some stuff and will either be willing to talk or she’ll have to because with no more spousal privilege, she can be subpoenaed.
@Kay – be grateful. He didn’t use the filters that trigger trypophobia this time.
Don’t google it.
And here I was, enjoying a quiet friday evening. No sleep for me I guess…
His poor kids… they have that face to look forward to.
I object, Mr. Futrelle. Some of us KNIT while watching TV.
@weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
My dog does not deserve to see these pics. She literally hid behind my armpit upon seeing them.
100 percent nightmare fuel brought to us by Mr Futrelle.
Your my hero
Well Mr. Futrelle, thanks to this post I’m renouncing feminism forever and going MGTOW. Now to learn how to survive on boxed mac and cheese and seagull meat…
David, as much as I appreciate your effort to make members of the Trump family as creepy on the outside as they are on the inside, I fear the challenge is insurmountable.
Christian Bale is practically made to play the role of Donald Trump Jr.
Needs more empty hallways and blood so I’ll have to rate this a negative 1 million out of 2.
The worst possible score in the universe my good man! 🙂
>He didn’t use the filters that trigger trypophobia this time.
Yeah, I’ve been trying to avoid those! If any of the weird filters I’ve been using lately have been triggering it let me know.
These are amazing, David, but I find the unfiltered Trumpkins quite horrific enough, thank you!
I know people don’t choose their faces, but the character shines through… or in the Trump brothers’ case, glistens like hair gel gone mouldy.
Just in case people haven’t already seen this:
https://twitter.com/JohnFugelsang/status/974450055330574337?s=19
It never occurred to me that this might be the reason until I read that. Of course, I find Jr to be entirely divorceable, so it didn’t occur to me someone would need *another* reason.
@kupo
I’m not seeing where that makes it less funny. The opposite, really. Or is that the joke?
I didn’t post it for the lame attempt at humor.
So… do we count this towards the staffer exodus or nah?
Truly ugly-both inside and out.
@Axecalibur: It’s a grey area to be sure, but I think we could view it as part of a general tendency of the Trumps to repulse people around them…
I expect to see horrifying things on this site so I was braced. D: D: D:
@WWTH this cheered me right up.
Kupo, I was thinking the same thing.
He’s not contesting the divorce, the disposition of assets, or the custody of their kids? And she’s doing this with a criminal lawyer? This doesn’t look like it’s about the failure of their marriage at all.
Eh, he’s not just a criminal lawyer. Does civil and divorce stuff too, according to the Thinkprogress guy (Jud Legum) who did some digging around. I respect Legum a lot, and if he’s calling it a nada, I’ll not argue. Still funny though.
Well, that first one is downright gigerish.