By David Futrelle
The most heartening thing in the news today — I mean, aside from ex-Trumper Sam Nunberg’s live TV meltdown — is this story by Mimi Montgomery in Washingtonian magazine about the sad plight of right wingers in D.C., none of whom are apparently able to find anyone who wants to get into their pants.
Yep. In these politically fraught times, it seems no sensible person wants to have anything to do (in bed or out) with those who like, much less work for, that orange thing in the White House.
In a city as overwhelmingly Democratic as DC, the combination of lingering anger over Hillary Clinton‘s loss and President Trump‘s existence makes it tricky for conservatives to date across party lines.
“A lot of times you’ll connect with someone [on an app] and they’ll Google you, find out you worked for Trump’s campaign, and then it’s pretty much all downhill from there,” says a Trump Administration official.
Aww. Let me play you a little song:
But actual White House staffers aren’t the only ones suffering:
People who work in right-wing media say they don’t have it any better.
“The political divide has gotten so wide that a lot of younger liberals don’t have any interest in meeting conservatives,” says a reporter at a conservative media company. Working for a right-wing publication is such an obstacle to dating in DC, he doesn’t put his employer on any dating apps and avoids talking about it until meeting someone face-to-face, he says.
Maybe this will cheer you up a little bit:
No matter how hard they may try to hide their perverse political proclivities, there are always clues. One self-described “moderate conservative” tells Washingtonian that he
once brought a woman back to his place, and while checking out his bookshelf, she noticed some books by conservative thinkers, he says. “She was like, ‘Oh no. First question: Did you vote for Trump?’,” the reporter says. He told her no, but that he was conservative. “She was like ‘I have to get out of here. I can’t see you,’ and left.”
Let’s listen to the song that’s already playing in your head:
While conservatives complain that all the liberal hotties lump Trump true-believers in with “principled” conservatives, one progressive woman assured the Washingtonian she’s perfectly capable of distinguishing between dudes who want “lower marginal tax rates” and those who believe no “woman should have a right to terminate an unwanted pregnancy.”
Generally, it’s not that hard to tell.
Most of the self-identifying progressives I talked with said they could tell how far right a man or woman leaned based on their dating-app photos—”Make America Great Again” hats are an obvious tell, but some also listed photos of US flag paraphernalia, hunting gear, or fratty beach parties as turn-offs.
But sometimes stealth conservatives can slip past liberal filters.
When she first moved to DC, a former Obama White House staffer who now works at the Aspen Institute was set up on a date with a Republican who worked on Capitol Hill. “We had a really nice time, but at the end of the date, he told me he didn’t believe in global warming,” she says. “I started laughing, because I’m from Colorado and didn’t realize people actually didn’t believe in global warming. But he was serious.”
They didn’t go out again.
Evidently, it’s those on the left who are doing most of the rejecting.
Republicans say it’s liberals who are more likely to turn down someone across the aisle. “Democrats are usually more vocal” about their opposition, the Trump staffer says, and therefore quicker to demonize all conservatives.
“I feel like they look at me and are like, here’s a tall white dude with brown hair wearing loafers, and he probably has a picture of Reagan and the NRA in his bedroom or something,” says one of the reporters from the conservative media company. “I just think they have a very hyperbolic view of what a conservative is.”
Yeah, I don’t think that’s it. I think the problem is that you are all fucking terrible. (And probably terrible at fucking to boot.)
Oh, but personal responsibility is for “those people.” The poors and the blacks and the single mothers. It’s not for rich white dudes. Their problems are always someone else’s fault.
@Troubelle Awesome work!
Actions have consequences. Supporting hatred has consequences. I’m not even going to play the world’s smallest violin for them.
A few months after the election, I almost went on a date with a Trump voter I met on Tinder >_< Thankfully I added him on Facebook first, to make sure he was an actual real human person, & found multiple posts celebrating Trump's inauguration. (He wasn't being sarcastic. I checked.)
I was floored; I guess I was naive, but it never occurred to me that a nerdy guy who played D&D & dressed up for Renaissance Faires could be the kind of aggressively regressive conservative who could enthusiastically vote for Trump. But I've learned my lesson.
Thankfully I found a shy, queer, liberal, nerdy boy instead 🙂 & yes, denizens of the Manosphere; short skinny effeminate beta male feminists do, in fact, get laid :3
@Dalillama
No argument from me! The bunch in power now is indistinguishable from the McCarthyites of the ’40s/50s… The names have changed but the targets are still non-white, non-cisgender, non-heterosexual, non-xian, non-male and ESPECIALLY non-rich
also, it’s good to see you again, seems like it’s been a while
Yeah, well, maybe they should try on some responsibility for a change. The rest of us are getting pretty fucking sick and tired of having had to clean up rich white dudes’ messes since forever. Having only their right hand to turn to on Saturday nights seems like only the beginning of just desserts.
Gee. It’s almost as if hating every kind of person other than your exact own makes you…UNLOVABLE!
It’s almost as if opposing reproductive rights makes you…UNFUCKABLE.
It’s almost as if marching in tiki-torch parades makes you…INSUFFERABLE.
Gosh. Who knew?
Personal responsibility? Like, for their speech? Ha.
(Does anybody else read “Nunberg” as “Nuremberg” every. Single. Time, or is it just me?)
Or Nürnberg, yes.
@SFHC
Well … I didn’t. Thanks. 😛
Hmmm, they may be getting “laid”, so to speak, but is it a lay even worth mentioning? Standards do have to be maintained after all, even a bare minimum at the very least. But then again, those types are usually so desperate enough, that for them, even a crumb is better than no bread at all. Ah, the utterly bathetic tragicomedy that has ever been the plight of the average heterosexual male of all species tsk tsk tsk
If JDSM keeps this up, David is going to have to add “tsk, tsk, tsk” to the moderation filter.
I keep reading tsk as tusk so I think a good troll challenge for him would be to add a fun fact about a tusked animal in each post.
@wwth
He already does. Boars are tusked, and he is rather boring. 😛
lol
L O L
You mean I can knock back sex with conservative hotties!!! What a time to be an incel. Finally our day has come when we have the power of the sexual marketplace.
*whisper, whisper.
What do you mean they still don’t want to have sex with me?
Finally, someone’s speaking sense! The demands placed on us by a narrow and restrictive masculinity, combined with an extractive economic system and a popular culture which glorifies power, have destroyed the lives of common men and women! Let us rise up, Comrades, join hands, destroy the entrenched violent power structures, and let the black banners fly as a new dawn rises for all of humanity!
(You were talking about anarcho-pacifism and the need to replace coercive with cooperative power structures, right? It would be downright silly if you said that about something as trivial as sex.)
Politics is life after all.
And why not? After all, while sex is indeed not the only meaning in life, it sure is the sweetest , at least for a male hehehe
Even the gays and bis say so too; and they have a much more easier time of it since they dont have the problems which arise from having to deal with the oppositely-oriented sex-drive of females , sssiiiggghhh …
So tell us more about yourself JDSM, maybe we misjudged you. No need to share any identifiers just what is it you believe, where your comming from, who you vote for etc. This whole mysterious thing has not gone down well here. Vindicate yourself please.
(TRIGGER WARNING: SEX)
I dunno. I mean, I’m male, and I’ve found that sex isn’t nearly as fun as some other things. Once you get bored of sex parties and group sex with nubile ingenues, you end up longing to just sit and discuss Foucault and knitting and Markov chains with someone, you know? All the whips and chains and unusual orifices in the world are no replacement for someone who has a meaningful opinion on Hegel.
Tell me about it. Demanding sex constantly, becoming annoyed when you use the wrong gag, expecting you to perform two or three times a night for each of them. I mean, it’s unreasonable. When am I supposed to get some work done?
technically the sweetest thing in life is thaumatin.
Ah, I’m just a modern moderate, and not to virtue-signal, but I really hate hate hate the poxy populism plaguing the whole world right now, but since I really can’t do anything about it as an individual myself, I have resolved to just largely lose myself in mindless unthinking hedonism for the most part until, well, worst case scenario, 2024 hehehe
And there is still, after all, Apophis in 2029, you know? So what’s the point of extended future planning eh? tsk tsk tsk
“Gotta love how conservative dudes complain one day about how liberal women are all fat, ugly, tattooed and short haired and we only object to misogyny because we’re so unfuckable and then the next day they complain about how we won’t fuck them. ”
I’m fat, tattooed, probably ugly as far as most people are concerned, but I have long hair even though women over 50 aren’t “supposed” to have long hair. I wouldn’t let any of these weasels anywhere near my business.
I suppose it isn’t very nice of me to insult weasels.
“the utterly bathetic tragicomedy that has ever been the plight of the average heterosexual male of all species tsk tsk tsk”
I very much doubt that the average male of any other species gives one single whack about the nonsense you’re blathering on about.