By David Futrelle
The most heartening thing in the news today — I mean, aside from ex-Trumper Sam Nunberg’s live TV meltdown — is this story by Mimi Montgomery in Washingtonian magazine about the sad plight of right wingers in D.C., none of whom are apparently able to find anyone who wants to get into their pants.
Yep. In these politically fraught times, it seems no sensible person wants to have anything to do (in bed or out) with those who like, much less work for, that orange thing in the White House.
In a city as overwhelmingly Democratic as DC, the combination of lingering anger over Hillary Clinton‘s loss and President Trump‘s existence makes it tricky for conservatives to date across party lines.
“A lot of times you’ll connect with someone [on an app] and they’ll Google you, find out you worked for Trump’s campaign, and then it’s pretty much all downhill from there,” says a Trump Administration official.
Aww. Let me play you a little song:
But actual White House staffers aren’t the only ones suffering:
People who work in right-wing media say they don’t have it any better.
“The political divide has gotten so wide that a lot of younger liberals don’t have any interest in meeting conservatives,” says a reporter at a conservative media company. Working for a right-wing publication is such an obstacle to dating in DC, he doesn’t put his employer on any dating apps and avoids talking about it until meeting someone face-to-face, he says.
Maybe this will cheer you up a little bit:
No matter how hard they may try to hide their perverse political proclivities, there are always clues. One self-described “moderate conservative” tells Washingtonian that he
once brought a woman back to his place, and while checking out his bookshelf, she noticed some books by conservative thinkers, he says. “She was like, ‘Oh no. First question: Did you vote for Trump?’,” the reporter says. He told her no, but that he was conservative. “She was like ‘I have to get out of here. I can’t see you,’ and left.”
Let’s listen to the song that’s already playing in your head:
While conservatives complain that all the liberal hotties lump Trump true-believers in with “principled” conservatives, one progressive woman assured the Washingtonian she’s perfectly capable of distinguishing between dudes who want “lower marginal tax rates” and those who believe no “woman should have a right to terminate an unwanted pregnancy.”
Generally, it’s not that hard to tell.
Most of the self-identifying progressives I talked with said they could tell how far right a man or woman leaned based on their dating-app photos—”Make America Great Again” hats are an obvious tell, but some also listed photos of US flag paraphernalia, hunting gear, or fratty beach parties as turn-offs.
But sometimes stealth conservatives can slip past liberal filters.
When she first moved to DC, a former Obama White House staffer who now works at the Aspen Institute was set up on a date with a Republican who worked on Capitol Hill. “We had a really nice time, but at the end of the date, he told me he didn’t believe in global warming,” she says. “I started laughing, because I’m from Colorado and didn’t realize people actually didn’t believe in global warming. But he was serious.”
They didn’t go out again.
Evidently, it’s those on the left who are doing most of the rejecting.
Republicans say it’s liberals who are more likely to turn down someone across the aisle. “Democrats are usually more vocal” about their opposition, the Trump staffer says, and therefore quicker to demonize all conservatives.
“I feel like they look at me and are like, here’s a tall white dude with brown hair wearing loafers, and he probably has a picture of Reagan and the NRA in his bedroom or something,” says one of the reporters from the conservative media company. “I just think they have a very hyperbolic view of what a conservative is.”
Yeah, I don’t think that’s it. I think the problem is that you are all fucking terrible. (And probably terrible at fucking to boot.)
I guess they can’t figure out why a woman would have a problem with “conservatives” (read “regressives”). After all, the policies they spout don’t affect any REAL PEOPLE , so they don’t know what all the fuss is about.
Calm down, boys. Lots of white women voted for Trump. Of course most of those are either older, or deeply buried in Evangelical Christianity (in which case you might just have a problem getting laid unless you come up with at least an engagement ring). Go forth and seek a proper conservative woman.
We’ll watch.
There aren’t any fucking conservatives in Washington… (nor, apparently, are there any conservatives fucking… but I digress….)
There are plutocrats, religious fundamentalists and repubs who are afraid of losing their jobs to other religious fundamentalists… but no conservatives.
It is interesting that they’re not even TRYING the whole sour grapes “Nyah-nyah conservative women are hotter anyway!” thing.
Did they try for ‘balance’ to find left-wingers complaining about all the Trumpies who won’t date them? What about conservative women lamenting all the leftie men who won’t go near them.
Seems pretty obvious that this ‘curse’ is limited to white frat-boy dudes who lack self-awareness.
I remember when some idiot put together a video of all the *cough* ‘hot’ Fox News hosts, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin etc. and then coupled it with the least flattering photos he could find of Janeane Garofolo, Oprah Winfrey etc. and then claimed that it ‘proved’ his belabored point.
If theres a silver lining to Trump’s presidency, it is at least now we have a way to identify all the horrible garbage humans. They so graciously help us by wearing MAGA hats and various other markers so good normal people can shun them. I would never date anyone male or female that voted Trump, its a instant warning sign that the relationship wont go well.
What Alex Stallwitz said. Anyone who chooses to vote for the Pussy Grabber In Chief is not a person it’s safe to be around.
I would never date a Republican. Not now. Not 10 years. Not ever. If a man doesn’t think I should be allowed to have any control over my bits, he’s not getting anywhere near mine. I don’t care if he claims to be personally pro choice, voting Republican is an anti-choice act and that’s what I care about.
Of course progressive women don’t want to date men who are on the side of the pussy grabber on chief. They’re advertising they don’t respect us, don’t respect our boundaries and that they may not safe to be alone with.
These doucebags deserve their untouched peni and I’m happy other progressive women are coming around to my side.
Nunberg is back on MSNBC melting down again. He’s slut shaming Hope Hicks and saying he won’t be part of any investigation going after Roger Stone. So he’s clearly trying to hide something Stone did and doing poorly at it.
Some right wing dude is complaining that refusing to date them is a violation of due process
https://twitter.com/AnaMardoll/status/970748069162749954
All the lulz.
WWTH:
Buh…
Wuh…
It’s… does he…
I think this dude needs some legal advice. Pro boner, of course.
4% of DC voted for Trump. 4%. That’s the second lowest in the country, I think, after Detroit. Part of this is because DC’s a pretty black city. But I live in the surrounding area (Silver Spring, hometown of Roosh, apparently), and yeah, it’s hella diverse and liberal. The only Trump person I’ve seen/met was some black guy who stood outside the polling place with a TRUMP sign.
I actually went on a friend “date” with a guy from OKC who told me he was doing a lot of volunteer work for Bernie because he worked for some kind of Republican establishment and it was his way of evening things out (this was in late 2015/early 2016). Part of me was like “well, ya gotta make a paycheck” but another part of me was like “DC is overflowing with jobs and what you’re doing isn’t exactly niche… would it be so hard to find another job?” Anyway, he was fine and not a Republican. But still. How could you live with yourself? I turned down an interview when I found out the design firm worked with the GOP, even when I was really hard up for a job (now I work with a very progressive design firm that focuses on ped+bike infrastructure, so my soul is safe).
My one coworker is that rare kind of liberal Mormon, and her husband is a lawyer for the GOP. I have no clue how she does it. :T I’m fine befriending people who have beliefs on how tax rates work or even someone who isn’t “woke” to the nth degree (my parents try, but they’re products of their generation), but the GOP is so incredibly toxic and racist right now. I’m not gonna cry for any of these dudes. You don’t get to destroy the government and get laid at the same time.
http://pics.me.me/things-i-see-what-you-did-there-27496573.png
Wait-Why do they want to date democrats all of the sudden? I thought we were ruining the world.
Nunberg: “You know, I know Bob Mueller. I know that whole team, and they’re right and they probably have something on Trump, Trump did something pretty bad, if I understood them.”
Holy crap!
Is Nunberg afraid of Stone?
Funny how these people who spend their lives shaming others can’t handle feeling judged themselves. It’s not like political issues aren’t going to come up in a relationship. To be honest, I just ended an LTR where just his parents were Trumpers and it was a fairly big factor in me ending it. I knew they were never going to accept me, and I couldn’t stand being around them after Trump was elected. Basically, I felt what a lot of people did: if you voted for a man who devalues me (female, in my case) it’s not really that crazy to assume you likely feel the same way. You basically told me to go fuck myself by voting the way you did, so you judged me first. This is why I’m sick of hearing that liberals are being “divisive” or “too emotional” when we hold people responsible for voting Trump. Maybe now Republicans will have some idea of what shame feels like(not likely).
They all believe that. That’s the point. Only conceivable difference is 1 won’t let you get an abortion, the other will let you if you have the up to $1000 to afford it. Plus the time off work, resources to travel to the only PP in your damn state, etc. Same diff, the lot of em, and, if you can’t get laid cos of it, good
Gotta love how conservative dudes complain one day about how liberal women are all fat, ugly, tattooed and short haired and we only object to misogyny because we’re so unfuckable and then the next day they complain about how we won’t fuck them.
That’s one theory. Another theory is that Nunberg is sort of a trial balloon to test whether they can all get away with defying Mueller. That’s why it’s absolutely crucial that Mueller not let him get away with this. Then again, he could just be having a meltdown.
@Weird Eddie
Those are conservatives. Them and white supremacists, although there’s a heavy overlap with religious fundamentalists. There’s no ‘real conservatism’ that isn’t about enshrining privilege and bigotry: That’s what they’re conserving, and always has been.
I said this back when the topic came up on Dr. Nerdlove and I’ll say it again: a lot of these guys are unused to the notion that their actions have consequences.
-rhythmic pen clicking-
Hmm, let’s see
Yes, it’s nothing we haven’t seen before in history
No product of its time
Just some vinegar from white whine
Yes, it’s clear
Nothing I haven’t seen from many of my peers
It isn’t a revolution
Just a continued delusion
It’s nothing new
It’s how people do
Nobody wants to date, no, nobody wants to date
And holy hell, nobody wants to mate
With someone who wants to see
Their own misery
It’s not an awful, no, not an awful lot
To see how that’s not something to be sought
And so, it’s fraught
Finding a date who doesn’t think mates are to be caught
And held until the day
Where you’re sanctioned to say
I do, we don’t
Think this should be put to vote
There’s some things not meant
To be put to a government
It’s nothing new
The evil men do
We shouldn’t debate, no, we shouldn’t debate
Make this message resonate!
On should these people
Not under the steeple
Be considered as such?
That’s awful much
For us to take
Oh, watch ’em break!
At how they assert who’s meant to make and who to bake
They fuss and moan
But in the end, they’re alone
Guess they can’t make it on their own
Even to the door they’re shown
It’s posts like this that make me glad to see you round these here parts again, Troubelle.
I’m glad to hear it, VP.
It’s as if they really do not have any discernible set of principles. Just lashing out rage kerfuffle to get them stuff or so they think.
And don’t forget we also hit the age wall too. Can’t forget that.
/smallest violins for the conservatives’ sad, dry, dicks
@LeeshaJoy
This despite the fact that they blither endlessly about personal responsibility and actions having consequences being the entire cornerstone of their political philosophy. It’s almost like it’s total bullshit…
@David,
I appreciate your work. The image you have for the head of this article gave me a giggle fit.