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Why is it worse for women to cheat than for men? “Because Penis,” Redditor explains

Cloudy with a chance of … you don’t want to know

By David Futrelle

From the Unpopular Opinions subreddit, a rather ingenious explanation as to why it’s much, much worse for men (well, cis men) to cheat on (cis) women than it is for women to cheat on men:

Girls cheating on guys is 10 times worse than guys cheating on girls because Penis. (self.unpopularopinion) submitted 15 days ago by OpinionManVIP Practically speaking, the main pieces of equipment involved in the act of sex are he penis and the vagina. When a guy cheats and has sex with a different girl, it’s just another hole. Sure maybe it can be tighter, but it’s pretty much the same deal. When a GIRL cheats on a GUY and experiences a new penis, she experiences something different that her boyfriend can NEVER give her. If the guy she’s cheating with is bigger, smaller, or even just shaped in a certain way there are things every guy has in his arsenal that are his signature strengths / weaknesses. And for females, that makes the experience of cheating so much more to be guilty about.

This was an unpopular opinion even for Reddit, with everyone in the comments arguing against this unique insight from OpinionManVIP, who not only seems to have never had sex but also to have never watched any porn. Seriously, dude, if you believe this you are Very Bad at Sex.

H/T — r/TheBluePill

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calmdown
calmdown
6 years ago

Re penises being replaced: Male sexbots with customizable penises are coming soon, hopefully this will enrage the MRM too.

https://sciencetrends.com/realistic-male-sex-robots-bionic-penises-will-go-sale-year/

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
6 years ago

@Tosca; Chaos made Flesh, Servant of the Purring Jew:

Thank you. I added the attribution to my notes.

IgnoreSandra - Marxist in a Skirt

If there’s no distinction between having sex with different women for you except that “some holes are tighter”, then you’re misusing the entire concept of sex and should not be doing that.

kupo
kupo
6 years ago

@Overly Long Name

Trying again. Here’s the link.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
6 years ago

Just ahead of time thanks everyone for the help.
@Ooble
Next time though if I’m aware that I’m going onto a shortage I’ll keep your advice in mind.
@dust bunny
That sounds good, throwing the schedule to the bin until I get better. No need to feel bad about things outside my control.
@Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
I’ll try to keep the exercise in mind. I went from Buproprion to Lexapro. I still got a stash of the old meds, not sure if I should use them though.
@Dormousing_it
That’s okay, I get those “zaps” too. Usually I try to keep attention to my phone to prevent that happening.
@Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Thanks for all of that Scild, onto sweets I go. Lover Bellie Assorted Cookies take me away.
@kupo
Sounds good, I need drawing practice anyways, I still need to be able to draw sexy peoples.
@misophistry
Gonna have to try that out.
@Knitting Cat Lady

Don’t nap during the day. No caffeine after lunch.

The first I can do, the second eeee. I really like coffee candy but sleep.
@Shadowplay
Wait, that’s genius. Oh I need to use that more, thanks.
@Mooncustafer
I got anime, drawing and posting on forums.
@Weatherwax
I should. They did last time, I don’t know why they didn’t offer it this time.
@Pagan Reader – Misandrist Spinster
Not yet. Speaking of which I need him to increase the amount of pills I get per pickup. It probably don’t work because insurance isn’t covering my pills until next Saturday.

Boogerghost
Boogerghost
6 years ago

why it’s much, much worse for men (well, cis men) to cheat on (cis) women than it is for women to cheat on men

@DavidFutrelle Think those got flipped?

JDSM
JDSM
6 years ago

Actually, the reason for this is that , as a General Rule: for Males, Love is a smaller circle inside of a bigger circle of Sex , while for females , it is the exact opposite, Sex is a smaller circle inside of a Bigger Circle of Love.

So healthy males can have Sex without falling in Love (“fuckboys” , especially “Gay” males having casual sex in public bathrooms) , but cannot fall on Love without having Sex (the “Waifu” obsessions of what the Japanese call “Otaku”) unless he has been damaged by being brainwashed into believing propaganda like the Madonna-Whore Dichotomy (which results in those repressedly hypocritical Moral Majority prudes like the Villains in stores set in Victorian England or 1950s Small Town America, which is what leads to serial rapists-killers).

Healthy females, meanwhile, can fall in Love without having Sex (“chaste romances” of the Harlequin/Mills and Boon variety, the phenomenon of Lesbian Bed Death) but cannot have Sex without falling in Love (as that Aziz Ansari/Abby Nierman scandal has shown) , unless she has been damaged by being a prostitute/pornstar/victim of sexual abuse etcetera (which is what leads to 3rd wave radical feminism).

And this dichotomy is further aggravated by the fact that 2/3 of males are polygamous while 2/3 of females are monogamous, which leads to males commonly being able to love multiple females at the same time and all of them equally too, while females can love only one male at a time, and in the rare case that she can Love more than one male at a time, it is rarer still that she can Love them equally: there is almost always a heirarchy involved (and when its the husband who is lesser when he should be greater vis-a-vis the mistral, we have cuckoldry like in that Unfaithful movie with Richard Gere and Diane Lane or that Outlander TV series; what the Japanese call “NTR”, that outmost infamously hated and reviled genre in heterosexual male porn).

This is supported and reinforced by other facts: A) that a male can perfectly impregnate multiple females at virtually the same time, while a female can normally be impregnated by only one male at a time, with superfecundation being rather rare among humans, B) most males are usually either only heterosexual or homosexual , with true bisexuals being rather rare, as they are curious or desperate or bored heterosexuals or homosexuals, while females meanwhile are usually mostly bisexual, with pure homosexuals or heterosexuals being rather rare indeed tsk tsk tsk

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
6 years ago

I just adore MRAs/PUAs who come in here and spout pseudoscience as if they’ve never heard of “citations” or “peer-reviewed studies” or “replication of results.” It’s as if they don’t want to admit that their most cherished facts are opinions shaped by their understanding of pop culture and their favorite echo chamber.

EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

I would love to see some peer-reviewed sources on that, JDSM.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
6 years ago

Why is it 10 times worse and not for example 100 times worse? MRAs are getting less ambitious?

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
6 years ago

And this dichotomy is further aggravated by the fact that 2/3 of males are polygamous while 2/3 of females are monogamous, which leads to males commonly being able to love multiple females at the same time and all of them equally too, while females can love only one male at a time, and in the rare case that she can Love more than one male at a time, it is rarer still that she can Love them equally: there is almost always a heirarchy involved (and when its the husband who is lesser when he should be greater vis-a-vis the mistral, we have cuckoldry like in that Unfaithful movie with Richard Gere and Diane Lane or that Outlander TV series; what the Japanese call “NTR”, that outmost infamously hated and reviled genre in heterosexual male porn).

Nominating this for “Worst Sentence” in the category of “Needlessly Long Sentences”.

EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

what the Japanese call “NTR”, that outmost infamously hated and reviled genre in heterosexual male porn

For the benefit of those of us who have lived blameless lives: what is NTR? I’m afraid to google it.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
6 years ago

@EJ

It’s just cuck porn but the alpha dude is allowed to be non-black sometimes.

Catalpa
Catalpa
6 years ago

Surely if love is a bigger circle for “females” than it is for “males”, then women would have more capacity for love and be better able to truly love multiple partners than men would? I mean, we just have more love to go around, after all. That’s just science.

Especially since almost all women are bisexual. We’ve got twice the amount of potential people to love, surely evolution purposefully designed us better to love multiple folks.

Weatherwax
Weatherwax
6 years ago

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…

That warrants a “citation/s needed” in letters a mile high. I was half-expecting a “/sarcasm” at the end, but none appeared.

PocketNerd
PocketNerd
6 years ago

Gotta love those MRA discourses on human psychology that read like one of those late medieval bestiaries written by somebody who never traveled more than 30 miles from his place of birth.

Ye Feemayl, also known too Some as Wuh-Minn, is verilye the Fiercest of Beasts. When an Hunger is upon her, she doth stand in the doorway of her Domicile, and shouteth thus: Scented Candels!, Scented Candels! And then the Male do bring her Scented Candels, which if they please her by reason of being Fragrant she Devour, but if they please her not, the Male is Speedly Devoured insteadly…

Falconer
6 years ago

All the citations are going to lead back to reddit, I’d bet.

@PocketNerd: I snorted.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I love that in one paragraph he calls the Madonna/whore paradigm propaganda spread by prudes that is so insidious that it causes men to become rapists and serial killers (no thought given to the harm it causes women) but in the next paragraph he says that “healthy females” can’t have sex without being in love. Someone needs some self awareness, badly.

I’d also love to know what perfectly impregnating someone is. What’s imperfect impregnation?

These rants always crack me up. Whenever a dude goes on and on and on about women don’t really like sex all that much and only do it because we’re either in love or we’re trying to manipulate men into doing our bidding, all I hear is “I’m terrible in bed and desperate to blame it on anything but myself.”

Katamount
Katamount
6 years ago

@tim gueguin

…okay, I know CBC has been slumming it since the Harper years, but they can’t be that hard up for decent guests.

@Kupo’s creepy thread

Yeah, if ever I see some religious fundamentalist (looking your way Ontario “””””Progressive””””” Conservative leadership candidate Tanya Granic Allen) caterwauling about how sex ed is all about corrupting children, I’m stapling that thread to their face. It’s the perfect illustration of misinformation told with all the sincerity of an InfoWars devotee (read: possibly trolling, but due to Poe’s Law, just dumb enough to believe every word of it).

Granic Allen runs an organization hilariously called “Parents Are First Educators” which exists to oppose the recent sex ed curriculum changes in Ontario. Yeah, that’s kind of a problem if parents are adhering to antiquated notions of chastity and their sexual education is built upon that agenda. They’ll tell the kid anything they think will scare them away from sex (“condoms give you AIDS”) and leave them at the mercy of… well, porn to educate them about what sex is when they inevitably become curious during puberty. Which is not good. Not good at all.

Civics education kinda fits that same pattern. Take that out of schools and you’ll have folks believing in welfare abuse and voter fraud conspiracies in no time!

…hell, why is this a parents’ prerogative anyway? I get that a parent tends to be one that kids trust to talk to them about a sensitive subject, but this isn’t the Victorian era where it was improper for a woman to sit next to a man on a couch (why yes, I went to the Spadina House Museum on Saturday). Does anybody really think the average NASCAR dad remembers what the vas defrens does? Would mom know about the Skene’s glands? Unlikely.

Yeah, sex ed can be a tad off-putting for all involved (as many a weird 70s sex ed cartoon can attest), but frankly, I’d rather have facts relayed by somebody knowledgeable and agenda-free. Because the alternative will be getting sex information from penis pill ads on PornHub.

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
6 years ago

I’m still laughing at JDSM’s “analysis”, so
I’m just popping in to wave “hi” to IP. ?

occasional reader
occasional reader
6 years ago

NTR is for Netorare, with Ne from neru (to sleep), and Torare the verbal form of toru (to take) meaning “to be taken”. So litteraly “to be taken from sleep” => it is implying “to be take from the marital bed” for a woman (never seen it used for a man except in gay porn).

the “Waifu” obsessions of what the Japanese call “Otaku”

To note, “Waifu” is the term used by your Reddit friends. Japanese are calling the tendancy “ore no yome”, litteraly “my bride”, and that refers to anime/manga/virtual characters that the person would be happy to be in love with (would they be real and ok with that)(it sadly sometimes refer to real persons, especially idols, but it is not well percieved in the communauty, especially by the fans of said idols). So, the link between the “(submissive) waifu” of redditers/redpillers and the “ore no yome” is really tenuous (and let us not speak at this attempt of missed cultural appropriation).

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
6 years ago

Hi PeeVee!

TreePerson
TreePerson
6 years ago

Its like this dude has never heard of asexuaity in amab/male identifying people or aromaticisim in afab/female identifying people,
probably believes enbys like me do not exist are “mentally ill” or what ever,
also that stuff about sexworkers and Japan, whole lot to unpack there.

And his entire argument seems to be based on observations of media made by and for cis-het-men as if it was real life.

EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

Thanks for that, IP and occasional reader. Good to see you both again.

I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed that the “outmost infamously hated and reviled genre in heterosexual male porn” is something so milquetoast as that. Patriarchy is an insidious poison, I suppose.

Katamount
Katamount
6 years ago

JDSM’s comment has been thoroughly smacked down as pseudoscientific drivel, but would like to drill down into a couple of comments:

…like the Madonna-Whore Dichotomy (which results in those repressedly hypocritical Moral Majority prudes like the Villains in stores set in Victorian England or 1950s Small Town America, which is what leads to serial rapists-killers).

Uhhh, you really think it was just the villains of fictional tales that were sexually repressed? And just in Victorian England? I spent my Saturday at two museums (Casa Loma and Spadina House) dedicated to the lives of the Torontonian 1 Percent circa the 1920s and the furniture tells the tale. While the 1920s saw young women adopting more form-fitting clothing, bob-cuts and staying out late to party, the elites raised during the late Victorian and Edwardian periods slept in separate rooms from their spouses. In addition, because women had to wear large elaborate dresses, their chairs were made wider so that the dress could properly span the seat.

comment image

Note the wheels on the legs; this seat was meant to be moved in case a dance broke out.

Also, fainting couches were a thing. Why? Well, it’s hypothesized that the corsets that women wore (morning, noon and night) made digestion difficult due to restricted bloodflow, so they were kept as close to the dining room as possible.

It was scarcely a century ago that women had to wear dresses so ludicrous it’s a miracle they didn’t trip over them, let alone wear something that actually fit their bodies comfortably. Like pants.

And please, serial rapist-killers are all sexually repressed? M’kay, Ed Gein, whatever you say. Feel free to inform Ted Bundy of that one.

…unless she has been damaged by being a prostitute/pornstar/victim of sexual abuse etcetera (which is what leads to 3rd wave radical feminism).

Yeah, so in addition to equating sex work to sexual abuse, that’s what leads to 3rd wave radical feminism, huh? Can’t possibly be a woman noticing societal double-standards or concluding that the patriarchal systems that have been in place for centuries need changing? Again, I refer you to the example of what it was women wore just 100 years ago. Why was men’s fashion comfortable and stylish, while women had to wear corsets to bed just to maintain their “stylish” figure?

The ’20s fashions must have been a godsend in comparison.

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