By David Futrelle
From the Unpopular Opinions subreddit, a rather ingenious explanation as to why it’s much, much worse for men (well, cis men) to cheat on (cis) women than it is for women to cheat on men:
This was an unpopular opinion even for Reddit, with everyone in the comments arguing against this unique insight from OpinionManVIP, who not only seems to have never had sex but also to have never watched any porn. Seriously, dude, if you believe this you are Very Bad at Sex.
H/T — r/TheBluePill
I’m on a shit ton of psych meds and really paranoid about running out. So no advice on that front.
I tried coming off once, under medical supervision. Went really bad.
Weirdest symptom I had was the feeling of spiders crawling across my brain. Brain zaps are slightly better.
As for insomnia:
Go to bed when you feel really sleepy. And always get up at the same time. Don’t nap during the day. No caffeine after lunch.
Do have one trick for insomnia.
Get dressed. Comfortable clothes, but clothes – including pants. Either sit in a very comfortable chair or lay on the sofa with TV or a boring video on low.
You’ll sleep. Your mind isn’t keyed up into insomnia mode by you getting ready/into bed, so sleep catches it unawares.
Don’t like to use it often cause I’m superstitious – use it too much it’ll stop working.
Good luck with the meds. Any pleasant distractions (favourite movies, etc.) you can have ready in case you need them?
RE: the penis-enhancing virgins:
Or a really really weird vampire story.
Speaking of depression meds,
Should I start experimenting with meds for what is clearly seasonal depression? If yes, what’s the best time to start?
I’m not an energetic person at my best, but daylight and lack thereof clearly makes a difference. With age, I seem to be getting worse every winter (or maybe winters are really getting darker, as my brain tries to convince me). For a few months I’m largely unable to work and unable to care about that. Then when daylight comes, I start feeling like a new person and the winter looks like wasted time.
Obviously, if I’m going to haul my ass to a doctor, it has to be done before the next darkness comes. The question is, how many months before?
@Arctic Ape
Hie thee to a doctor to get it confirmed that yeah, it is seasonal (I know it as Seasonal Affective Disorder, might have a diff name for you) rather than cyclical that just happens to coincide with the dreary time of year.
If it is: great news! Those daylight bulbs, the ones that mimic the sunlight spectrum? They work like a fucking charm.
Partner has seasonal affective and it used to hit her hard. She’s got a daylight bulb next to her seat, and in her bedside lamp and she’s not one problem in 6 years.
This is regarding the insomnia issue that people have been discussing. The only thing that works for me is a low dose of THC/CBD (2.5 mg of each), usually in a tea but there are also edible gummy squares. Prescription sleep meds make me do weird crap like sleepwalking and waking up as the cool breeze of the night blows across my butt because for some reason I decided to drop trou and pee on my car tire. Antihistamines make me mean and irritable rather than tired. Natural sleep supplements like valerian don’t really do anything for me, although they do work for some people, and melatonin makes me have weird dreams.
Regarding the THC, a dose that low is unlikely to get you high. It doesn’t get me high, and I’m a lightweight. It acts as a mild sedative.
This is assuming that marijuana is legal where you live, of course.
@Shadowplay:
I’m really glad for your partner and hope it carries on working for her. Sadly, I got one and it didn’t help me at all. It probably varies drastically from one person to the next.
Humans are complicated.
@EJ
🙁 I’m really sorry they didn’t help you. Seasonal really does a number on a person and it’s such a simple antidote.
Still, for a couple quid, it’s worth trying.
@ EJ
When I tried them indoors it was just like a really harsh cold light, didn’t work at all. But then I rigged some up so it looked like the light was coming from outside the windows with the curtains partly drawn; like I’d do on a real summer’s day. And that sort of tricked me into feeling it was real. Might be worth a punt.
Never thought on that. Both her lamps have cloth shades.
Valerian? I thought that was that guy in that movie, the one whose name didn’t even mention Laureline even though she seemed to be the brains of the operation (certainly the more mature of the two) and pulling most of the team’s weight …
Seconding the marijuana advice for insomnia. I was born like this, so sleep meds are a Really Bad Idea for me (’tis how my grandfather died, too) and I had to find other ways – this is one that works pretty well. Doubles as a rather good antidepressant too, though it won’t be nearly as efficient as something prescribed unless your case just happens to be appropriate.
Just watch your tolerance, cos it sucks when it stops working, though a good dry week will sort you out easy. Still, better to avoid overindulging, brains get used to this stuff fast. Although, admittedly, I wouldn’t know about the legal prescription drugs derived from marijuana, here the only thing that’s available is the raw stuff on account of it being illegal.
We know a pretty big amount of the circadian rhythm, we don’t know nearly as much about the circannual rhythm. As for when it would be best to go on meds? Talk to your doctor, but these rhythms are keyed to the slow increase and decrease of concentrations of proteins in cells, slowly taking in cues from the environment to affect changes. Angle of incident light is one of those, it’s thought, so once the sun starts getting not quite so high in the sky – that’d be when you’d want to start, very gently. That’s my non-doctor thought on it!
For the same reason, those true-daylight lamps should absolutely be put where the summer sun’s light would be coming in. The neurons that gather sunlight in your eyes are very much angle-sensitive – they gather on the lower half of the retina, meaning that they receive light from the upper half of your visual field. Shining from mid or lower half wouldn’t have nearly as much of an effect.
I hope you figure it out! SAD sucks. I has it. Hibernation! What you gonna do.
@PeeVee…
I think that was me.
Arctic Ape. Can you get Vit D capsules without a prescription where you are?
Vitamin D is Ace! Even in Australia we take it – esp if we’re stuck indoors because of work-illness-disability-depression. It does make a difference.
@Oogly
I’ve no idea if this is true everywhere, or if I just have the world’s best pharmacist, but when I last ran out of SSRIs (random aside – isn’t it fun to have an illness that actively makes it harder to get the medication? Sarcasm), my pharmacist checked his records, saw the previous prescriptions and gave me a week’s worth to tide me over. It may be worth asking, if you haven’t already.
@Weatherwax,
They’ve done that for me, too, on a number of occasions; a “script owing”, they call it here. Three different pharmacies, but they all knew me and once they’d checked the databases for script history it was all good.
@Tosca, that was you all right. I’m still laughing at that one 😀
@Sinkable John,
Your degeneracy is one of your bestest qualities.
@Oogly
Have you tried seeing if your doctor can call in enough to get you through?
Partner and two of our daughters went to March4Women today. Took the three eldest grandkids.
They enjoyed it.
I’m babysitting the littles. Someone has to and I have problems in crowds anyways 😛
Hey sorry to interupt the current conversation, but does whtm have a discord? I’d like to be able to talk politics and social stuff with people but I dont really have a space, so I was curious if you guys could help, if you’d like.
In case anyone is interested today’s episode of CBC Radio One’s Out in the Open has an interview with Cassie Jaye. I didn’t listen to it, but I would imagine it could be an “at your own risk” kind of experience.
Oh hey! You’re updating again! Glad to see you back, Mr. Futrelle, and I hope you’re feeling well and in good health.
@OverlyLongName
I know that there are some Mammotheers who hang out on Discord, but I’m blanking on how to get there right now.
There used to be a link in Dalilama’s name.
I’m not a Discord user; the software is commonly thought to be spyware and the company’s behaviour has done nothing to dispel that belief, which put me right off. However, I think it’s a good idea and if we used different software then I’d be happy to join in.
Thanks for thoughts, everyone.
I’ve been using a daylight lamp at home for years – maybe I should place it somewhere high and near a window to get more benefit. Close to the end of this winter, I bought another daylight lamp for my workplace and placed it behind/above my desktop screen. It does clearly help some.
I’ve been taking 20 µg of vitamin D3 per day – a common wintertime recommendation here against osteoporosis. Not sure how much is actually safe, or necessary for keeping seasonal depression at bay.