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A creepy Pickup Artist has made the world’s worst dating sim. Let’s take a look!

The stealthy PUA approaches his prey from behind

By David Futrelle

Now, I don’t really understand dating sims, and I’ve never played one, but I nonetheless think it’s safe to say that no other title in the genre is worse or more cringeworthy than Super Seducer, a choose-your-own adventure video game guide to pickup artistry put together by Richard La Ruina, an honest-to-goodness, sort-of-well-known, professional pickup guru who actually makes a living running expensive “bootcamps” for hapless wannabe lady killers. It’s scheduled to come out in a few days on Steam.

How bad is it? Well, here’s La Ruina’s own trailer for the game. See if you can make it all the way through it without facepalming or slowly banging your head against your desk or a nearby wall.

As you can see, the basic premise is simple: La Ruina shows himself in assorted contrived pickup scenarios in the form of ten “missions” ranging from “day game” street pickup to pestering women in restaurants.

You choose what he does at various stages along the way. When you make the “correct” choice, the Hot Babe reacts positively and the scene cuts to La Ruina sitting on a bed with two scantily clad hotties to tell you just why your choice was such a genius one. Undercutting his argument somewhat is the fact that the two women he’s hired to sit on the bed with him look as grim as it is possible for human beings to look; kidnap victims look more cheerful than these two.

When you make any of the “incorrect” choices, the Hot Babes who are La Ruina’s targets in the videos tell him to fuck off. They generally give much more convincing performances in these scenes than in those in which they have to pretend to like him. It’s as if they’re not even acting!

Here’s a very brief clip from the game showing one of these little dating mishaps:

After each of these painful virtual rejections, La Ruina appears again on his bed to tell you how you fucked up. If you did sort of badly, the Hot Babes sitting with him have all their clothes back on. If you did really badly, they’re not even there.

If you’re a space alien, or a human male who has never in his life had any kind of meaningful interaction with a human female outside of your own family, I suppose you could learn a few things from La Ruina.

Here are some of the pickup techniques that Super Seducer suggests are bad:

  • Trying to grab a woman’s butt moments after meeting her on the street
  • Pretending you are blind and walking into her with your arms in front like some kind of cartoon zombie
  • Breaking the ice with a woman by telling her how much you’d like to perform cunnilingus on her
  • Asking a woman if she has sex with her dog
  • Sneaking up behind women at a club and smelling their hair
  • Trying to convince a woman you’ve just met to come to your apartment so you can wash her hair
  • Rubbing your crotch suggestively in broad daylight
  • Literally taking your dick out

So if you weren’t clear on any of these things, I guess you know now not to try them!

Trouble is, La Ruina’s “correct” choices are nearly as bad as the incorrect ones. He recommends that men stop directly in front of women they want to talk to as they walk down the street, blocking their path and essentially forcing the women to interact with them. He urges men to pester women reading books or giving other indications that they want to be left alone. He teaches men it’s fine to lie and manipulate to get women into bed. He just wants you to not be too blatant about it.

Needless to say, Super Seducer is not exactly getting rave reviews, particularly on YouTube. Here are a couple of the shorter reviews I found, all of which feature extensive and utterly cringeworthy “gameplay” footage. (La Ruina tried to get some critical videos containing game footage taken down for copyright infringement, but has apparently backed off.)

Enjoy!

If you really want to immerse yourself in this awfulness, there are a variety of hours-long playthrough videos.

This one is five hours long, if you have an entire evening that needs ruining.

And if you really want to put yourself through hell, the legendary Matt Forney — yes, that Matt Forney, one of the grossest and most despicable humans on planet earth — has made his own playthrough, in three parts (so far), with a total time upwards of five hours. Who the hell is actually watching this shit?

Demonstrating his keen grasp of journalism ethics, Forney has written a cheerfully positive review of Super Seducer on his web site. The post is literally sponsored by the game maker. The game maker paid him to review it.

As you may recall, Forney was an avid supporter of GamerGate, the reactionary harassment campaign against women and “SJWs” that liked to pretend it was a crusade for ethics in game journalism.

Super Seducer, a game only paid shills could love!

I really think most people could learn a lot more from that Japanese game in which you date pigeons.

 

H/T — Thanks to Joel Williams for tipping me off to this masterpiece

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Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
3 years ago

Nobody should tell this guy that Dream Daddy exists.

Patty Thinkerer
Patty Thinkerer
3 years ago

I don’t know which LP to watch first. They all (except one, obviously) look like a good time.

calmdown
calmdown
3 years ago

I loved Dream Daddy! 🙂 The bad news is: there are more PUA games out there, this is just the beginning

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

New rule: only Dragonball games and fantastical platformers are aloud to be called super

Also, who’s the cover art guy? Is that supposed to be La Ruina (which, great supervillain name, guy)? Cos it looks like maybe what he would looked like if this was the 80s, but not really a good portrait…

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

He recommends that men stop directly in front of women they want to talk to as they walk down the street, blocking their path and essentially forcing the women to interact with them.

Ugh. This one goes past annoying and into frightening and rapey territory.

When men block the sidewalk I’ve taken to basically playing chicken with them. I’ll briefly make eye contact, fix my gaze ahead and continue purposefully and briskly walking on my path, signalling that I will not move over for them. They always cave and move out of the way. Highly recommended for any woman who feels safe and comfortable doing this. Nothing is more satisfying than shutting down a macho dominance display.

DrHoveiny
DrHoveiny
3 years ago

Just me, or is he like Roosh-lite?

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

I’d rather play Lady Killer In A Bind. It treats relationships WAY better than this game.

Bina
3 years ago

Oh, how I yearn for the days when wankers like these would be beaten at chess by their digital watches…

Godzilla Roberts
Godzilla Roberts
3 years ago

I found out about this steaming pile from Jim Sterling. Thank god for him.

Godzilla Roberts
Godzilla Roberts
3 years ago

And I see his video is in the article. :3 Jim Sterling, yo. And yeah this game… if you can call it that… yeah. I don’t even know where to start.

gnomedeplum
gnomedeplum
3 years ago

He should have called it Ladykiller Talking Out Of His Behind. At least that way Christine Love could take legal action.

Tosca; Chaos made Flesh, Servant of the Purring Jew
Tosca; Chaos made Flesh, Servant of the Purring Jew
3 years ago

Well, at least literally taking out your dick is presented as a bad option. That’s not a given with these people.

EJ (The Other One)
3 years ago

Women? In video games? Awful!

occasional reader
occasional reader
3 years ago

Ah, yes, i remember having talk about it at the worst moment, as the game has been released on the Valentine Day. Sorry about that. You could replace the guy by Tommy Wiseau (with a beard), it would be the same. Classy !

Gijoel
Gijoel
3 years ago

It’s the Leisure Suit Larry of the 21st Century people.

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

Leisure Suit Larry had humour.

Dan Kasteray
Dan Kasteray
3 years ago

All of his advice was used in the movie beauty and the beast by Gaston.

So yes, use this advice if you want a girl to reject you and then plunge to your death off the top of a French castle after fighting a yeti monster

misophistry
misophistry
3 years ago

Stopping directly in my path will get you the sharp end of a golf umbrella up the nose.

Valentin - Emigrantski Ragamuffin
Valentin - Emigrantski Ragamuffin
3 years ago

Dan,

Gaston also suggests to eat 5 dozen eggs each morning which will definately give him dihorreah.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
3 years ago

I’ve watched a few bits of ProJared’s LPs, and if you’re wondering “Is there a part in which the answer is to get a woman blackout drunk then rape her before she wakes up,” the answer is “He wouldn’t be a PUA if there wasn’t.”

(WHTM, Jim Fucking Sterling Son and ProJared together at last? Man, this’d be the best thing ever if the subject matter wasn’t so vomitious.)

misophistry
misophistry
3 years ago

That jim sterling vid was hilaarious.

Female Yid
Female Yid
3 years ago

And finally we have proof that even so called “moderate” PUA’s are creeps.

Diego Duarte
Diego Duarte
3 years ago

It’d be fitting if his actual name was La Ruina. Because that’s about the only thing you’re likely to bring upon yourself if you follow his advice.

Errapel
Errapel
3 years ago

Ewww! Never thought I’d say this, but give me pigeon/tank dating sims any day!

Actually I’m a big fan of dating sims, they can be a lot of fun. I have played Hatoful boyfriend and it was a blast. Honestly people get hung up on the pigeon part, and miss that ‘dating pigeons’ is actually the LEAST weird part of the whole game, I’m not even kidding. I thoroughly recommend it to anyone who enjoys surreal stories, tense action and has secretly dreamed of joining an all female biker gang that never breaks the speed limit.

And honestly if the only thing that will satisfy you is a pick-up artist sim, then play Honey-pop. I mean it’s terribly misogynistic, racist and ridiculous, but it’s well designed, the game play is great, and you can play dress-up with the girls.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

The “Office” mission sounds like a super idea! I hope those scenarios all end with an HR administrator on a bed, surrounded by scantily clad models in pink slips.

Katamount
Katamount
3 years ago

Man, everyone is trying to make a spiritual sequel to Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties. I keep telling them, that there gem is unique!

Schnookums Von Ghostface Fancypants Killer
Schnookums Von Ghostface Fancypants Killer
3 years ago

Just throwing this out here as a potential antidote for this game: http://www.kotaku.co.uk/2017/09/04/zoe-quinn-and-chuck-tingles-fmv-dating-sim-tingle-has-a-saucy-trailer

Love is Real, Buckaroos

Hambeast
Hambeast
3 years ago

I’d love to see jacksepticeye take a stab at this. I watched his whole play through of Cuphead and it was awesome!

Chris
Chris
3 years ago

For even more bizarre but hilarious relationship gaming fun, check out Panzermadels… a dating sim where all the options are girls who are personifications of historical military tanks.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

Eugh, dating sims. Though they can sure be done nicely and sweetly, they are so often not much more than misogyny-trainers. Women are puzzles that you solve by figuring out the right combination of buttons, then you get sex as a reward. I’ll play the pigeon game instead!

As for this guy, blegh. I hate everything he teaches. Rely on women not wanting to make a scene in order to start talking, inconvenience and belittle women to make her feel bad, manipulate and wheedle at every opportunity. Gross. I mean, that’s just an overhead view of pickup garbage, but he’s certainly a specimen of it.

bleghhhh

Shadowplay
3 years ago

Got to admit, I don’t get the point of dating sims, though I do quite enjoy the romance options (what little they are) as part of Stardew Valley. 😛

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

Note the door-in-the-face technique, where obviously awful “don’t do this” choices like inviting a girl to grope your ass and physically lifting her off her feet are presented in contrast to alternatives THAT ARE STILL TERRIBLE, in order to make the “do this” pointers seem socially reasonable. It’s like one of those optical illusions where a grey area seems much brighter and whiter when placed next to a swatch of black.

Sure, you’re blocking a random girl on the sidewalk and asking intrusive questions…well, thank goodness you’re not so clueless that you whip out your dick at a bar.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

In a way, I’d rather have a creepy guy at a bar just whip out his dick than follow me around asking weird questions. At least the former is so unambiguous that you can tell someone at the bar and have the offender bounced. With the latter, he can just claim he’s only innocently chatting or flirting.

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

Anglerfish dating sim. That could be a fun contrast.

MrsObedMarsh
MrsObedMarsh
3 years ago

@Errapel: When I first learned about this sim, I assumed it would be a HuniePop-type thing where you’re a Regular Guy encountering different female archetypes – the Bitch, the Shy Girl, the Prima Donna, etc. – and you have to figure out a different strategy for seducing each one. The title screen also led me to believe that the entire game would be still images in the same cartoon style. But no, it looks like you’re Richard La Ruina, going around and using the same strategies on interchangeable women in a series of mediocre films. So it’s lazier AND more misogynistic than HuniePop. At least the women in HuniePop have individual personalities.

E: And as long as we’re recommending dating sims, Doki Doki Literature Club pretends to be a cheesy slice-of-life anime romance story, but in fact turns out to be much, much darker. Like “maybe needs a trigger warning” darker.

MrsObedMarsh
MrsObedMarsh
3 years ago

PS: La Ruina took down his video, so the link is dead.

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
3 years ago

Anglerfish dating sim.

There actually is one!

Benthic Love

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
3 years ago

Man, how the hell did I miss this being posted? Picked up on the Sterling vid being dropped, though.

Also, Hatoful Boyfriend is fucking great…but has its own brand of darkness. Word of advice: unless you are suicidal and/or really want yakitori for lunch, don’t try to seduce Shuu.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

WHTM : come for the mocking of misogynists, stay for… anglerfish dating sims ?

Ehh, still better than seagulls.

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

@Moon_custafer
Neat! I’m fascinated by the existence of a pigeon dating sim. I need to read from the fans at some point since I don’t play them. I’m a furry too so two groups of fans maybe.

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

@Moon_custafer
Home from work. After reading the whole blog post I’m still interested. It’s an interesting take but they didn’t want to spoil it for anyone so they didn’t go into detail. I totally understand:)

Jules
Jules
3 years ago

Godzilla,

Thanks for that vid, which led me to ProJared, which led me to his Let’s Play of A Normal Lost Phone, which made me tear up and gave me like humanity +3.

Paradoxical Intention: Resident Cheeseburger Slut

There are lots of gross dating sims out there, but there’s also a lot of cool ones I’ve come across as well. Like Cute Demon Crashers, or Doki Doki Literature Club. I can also reccomend Seduce Me the Otome.

It does seem as though that people are kind of reclaiming the genre from the assholes out there, and making lots of dating sims for other people who aren’t as cool with the…*ahem* “classics”.

It’s always nice to see people doing something different with it, and making it way more interesting.

Catalpa
Catalpa
3 years ago

I played Hatoful Boyfriend. It is wonderfully bizarre. I love it.

I’d much rather date a pigeon than La Ruina or any other PUA.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

@Jules

Godzilla,

Thanks for that vid, which led me to ProJared, which led me to his Let’s Play of A Normal Lost Phone, which made me tear up and gave me like humanity +3.

Your comment made me look that one up. Halfway in I realised I was supposed to working so I had to stop. Now I can’t wait to find out what happened.
Thank you, and curse you 😄😆

THE_SAMURAI
THE_SAMURAI
3 years ago

Otome games are less creepy.

Chaltab
Chaltab
3 years ago

I nonetheless think it’s safe to say that no other title in the genre is worse or more cringeworthy than Super Seducer

I mean you’d think that, but this is a world where RapeLay and House Party exist.

DavidN
DavidN
3 years ago

Hatoful Boyfriend is an absolute masterpiece, even though that obviously sounds like an off-the-wall claim. It’s impossible to explain why without just telling people to play it all the way through.

I was part of a group who voiced through it and we had a thriving community of Japanese fangirls at one point. My life has never been the same since.

Lensman
Lensman
3 years ago

Did somebody say “Dating Sims”?

I actually reviewed quite a lot of them back in my younger years (though I prefer the term “Visual Novel”, it’s much more accurate, since you have to do A LOT of reading).

And, yeah, there are some pretty weird ones out there…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5s3tN0w-Yo

Unsurprisingly, Hatoful Boyfriend is in one of the top spots. And, yes, it’s actually a good visual novel despite the premise.

Okay, recommendations (please note, that, even though the links are SFW, the games themselves are not):

Katawa Shoujo – Yes, it’s one of the games in the video. Once you get past the premise, that you are courting girls with disabilities, you will find that it’s quite well-written and enjoyable. There’s an MRA comic-relief character in the game though, so be warned. Yes, it has nudity, but you can turn it off in the options. And did I mention that it’s free? You can check out JewWario’s review if you want to get a spoiler-free idea.

Princess Waltz – An interesting story involving a lost prince from a parallel universe and princesses beating the crap out of each other. There are a few twists and turns that I didn’t see coming and the card game mechanics are quite addictive.

Utawarerumono – Yes, the anime is based on a visual novel, and it’s actually quite a good strategy game. The sequel, “Tears To Tiara” , which also received an anime adaptation, is a worthy successor. None of the games have any official English Releases, but they do have fan-translations. It’s quite a hassle to get them to run properly though and you need to have a copy of the original japanese game.

Fate/Stay Night – Those that have been unimpressed with the various anime adaptations over the years will be surprised find out that this is a really well-written visual novel with plenty of emotional and heart-rending moments. It’s worth playing just to see what the fuss is all about. Like Utawarerumono there is no official english release, but there are fan-translations and they are very well made.

I really want to recommend more but most of the other stuff I reviewed is not suitable for the audience of this site. To put it mildly, all the narrative problems hentai have towards certain sensitive subjects, most visual novels have as well (which shouldn’t surprise anyone, since a lot of adult animation is based on dating sims). And because I don’t want to litter this post with trigger warnings, I’ll stop here.

(There are visual novels that treat sensitive subject matters with the respect they deserve, but they are too few and far in-between. I understand that some of the members of this site have traumatic backgrounds so I won’t mention them here, even with a trigger warning, because well… I am not sure if it’s appropriate or not.)

Anyway, enjoy!

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
3 years ago

Tosca; Chaos made Flesh, Servant of the Purring Jew

“Well, at least literally taking out your dick is presented as a bad option. That’s not a given with these people.”

Hehe and looking up skirts. Not a given with these people either. Speaking of which, In Georgia, it’s not illegal to look up skirts and even take pictures. We have plenty of sexist laws here in America and people say we don’t need a women liberation movement.