By David Futrelle
I get a lot of, well, less-than-complimentary emails from dudes who aren’t what you’d call big fans of this site. But I don’t get a lot of poems.
So imagine my surprise when I checked my email this morning and found this. Enjoy!
You, sir. are an absolute Knave
By G—— R——
David Foo-troll, you son of a bitch.If journalism were art, you’d not even be kitsch.
You riffle through trash, and you dig in the ditch
When you look for your subjects, and you give your pitch.
Your writing is garbage, your ideas are trite,
Not even a pro could set your blog right.
The fix is in, it must be set alight
While flames of justice glow in the night.
The call of the real men, the bark of the wild
Will show you the faces of those you’ve reviled
Male disposability is not a subject mild
All of civilization is on men’s backs piled.
Come to your senses, I beseech you to change;
You’ll find that Men’s Rights are not at all strange,
And feminists your ally badge shall exchange
The moment you see men’s needs on the range.
Give aid to the harpies, give aid, if you dare
But a happy man who did so, never was there
I advise you in such company to take care,
Of their pack-minded bloodlust, I warn you, beware.
The approval of women, these ephemeral things,
Can’t give you the happiness that men’s rights brings
.
Well, it doesn’t always scan, and some of the rhymes are a little rough. But I have to applaud the effort.
Speaking of poetry…
Why are so many MRAs apt to use slightly antiquated word choice when they write something intended to be intellectual?
…Is that some sort of rule?
There was an MGTOW
Who said, “ladies I will no longer trouble you”
Yet day after day
At which women he may
He yells on the WWW
It kind of works if you pronounce the letters.
Their patron saint and AVFM supposed cash cow that never yielded any gelt – Belfort Bax 😛
Such high IQ gents must be quite sesquipedalian
It’s their superior logic you see
And if to us they sound quite alien
Then that’s the fault of you and me
We’re just not on their level
So they can safely ignore us
Whereas they’ve swallowed the red pill
And a thesaurus
Roses are red
Dead grass is tan
My name is Roosh
Now get in the van.
Roses are red
Violets are super
I’ll lose my next blog post
If I wipe my pooper.
Roses are branch-swinging sluts
Violets are divorce-raping whores
Men unconditionally love
It’s why we keep score.
@Fujimoto
The best response to TP USA, and the definition of self-own, Charlie Kirk in a diaper.
I quite like the WHTM poetry slam.
*Finger snaps*
This reads like a combination of my sixth grade writing assignments, Black Sabbath lyrics*, and the poetry feature in the weekly seniors’ magazine in my grandma’s small town, all set in whatever alternate manospherian universe it is that this guy lives in.
*Yes metal people, I love Sabbath too, but their lyrics are hilariously clumsy B-movie doggerel and you know it.
I Started Out with the Best of Poetic Intentions, But It’s Possible That the Following Is Mere Prose
Roses–
The MRM is a hate-filled scam, and its devotees are hate-filled liars.
My humble contributions to create fitting MRA (whiny ) poetry
Roses are Red,
You all are fake News,
My credibility has always been dead,
So I’ll blame the Jews
Roses are Red,
Males are always right,
We welcome all bros,
But only if they’re white
Roses are red,
I only dates hotties,
Every night I spend alone,
With pillows for sexy bodies
Roses are Red,
How do we have Bronies?,
It’s a colorful kids show,
With feminist ponies
Well that’s all I got
Mammotheers, your poetry is wonderful!
Can I just say it’s nice to see you posting again. I missed it.
There once was an emgeeteeohdoubleyou
Whom Bina attempted to clerihew.
But what a sad gimmick —
It came out a lim’rick!
I’m sorry, good people, to trouble you.
How unexpected
He made his sentences rhyme
Meter needs rework.
I don’t know why but I have this image of this “gent” angerly rhyming this into his computer when there is a knock on on his door he opens it and there is this kid with a blank stair on their face and they say in a monotone “Traveler ###### you are off mission abort immediately.”
I have no idea why but I find that amusing (and yes its a travelers reference).
Goodness gracious, someone’s upsought
But hey, it’s what the Cat-King’s brought
Less a hunt and more the vulture’s way
Is why we behold this today
Found dropped dead at his cold doorstep
Perhaps his feline wanted more pep
From their dear owner, and if that’s so
That’s quite a catty way to go.
Nevertheless, it isn’t much
At least it’s framed well, I’ll give it such
But still it’s trite, no matter how much it tries
As appetizing as school-lunch shoestring fries
And this, one and all, is how a man’s soul dies.
Ok. My comment keeps disappearing. I made a comment about how my comment disappeared and that showed up. When I hit the edit button and pasted the old text in it disappeared again. What the fuck!? It had no links in it. Nothing that goes in the mod filter. What gives?
Ok. Weird. I erased the first paragraph and now it’s posting.
Anyway, I’m just wondering if I’m being a cranky asshole or if this a reasonable complaint with the topic discussed below. Sorry for the off topic.
Back when Hulu had a free membership option, I had an account. When they switched to a pay only Netflix type model, I never signed up for a plan. I finally decided to sign up for the free trial and see if I wanted the service. Well, of course, I’ve long since forgotten my password. I clicked the reset password link and never got an email. Not in my inbox, not in my spam folder. I clicked the link again about 15 minutes later. Still no reset password email. So I went to the website and looked at the support page. Nothing useful. I hit the “contact us” link at the bottom of the page. It went back to the login page. So I went to the Hulu support Twitter account and explained what happened. They gave me a toll free number to call. That’s it.
Am I right to be salty about this? I sent a reply asking for an email or chat function because I don’t want to go through some horrible automated phone system and why should I sign up and offer them my money if I’m already getting terrible customer service? I hate to be mean and maybe it was just a chatbot sending a stock reply anyway, but seriously? Why should I beg a company to give them my money? At this point, I’d probably only sign up if I could get an extended free trial or something to make up for the aggravation I’ve already experienced, but the Twitter support didn’t hint that I might get anything like that. I’m just kind of pissed and offended that I’ve been put through the wringer when a big profitable company should be able to figure out to either send and email or offer an email for those needing support. How can an online service only offer a phone number for customer support and nothing convenient and online? It makes no sense to me.
Anyway, it’s hard for me to figure out the balance between wanting to resist the socialization I got as a woman to not stand up for myself and wanting to still be a decent non-entitled person. Is this a reasonable thing to be super pissed about?
In Response to a Misandrist Post Made by One Futrelle
You cretinous gonzo, are you lacking in shame?
Do you think that Men’s Rights is some kind of game?
I’ll bet that your response wouldn’t be so tame,
If of feminism and gynocrats I said the same.
You’d call me a sexist, send flying monkeys,
Summon six soy boys, awaken the chunkies,
Enlist the white knight, pugilistic punk, he’s
numbered amongst your army of flunkies.
Vaginocrats alive! There’s a mighty upsurge
Of women consolidating power to submerge
The order of men, through a ballot-box purge,
The west now quakes, for it hears its own dirge.
Tis but our last hope, the end is nigh.
To undo the damage, we may as well try.
Don’t bother with details, it matters not why;
But if you ignore me, don’t come to me and cry.
Support men and boys, it’s the only way
To keep our world from going astray.
From the hills on the horizon, I hear them all bray,
In powerful unison, for that wonderful day.
Shelters for men, play time for boys,
Meat on the grill, tools making noise,
Male contraceptives, masculine toys
Worthy accomplishments, red-blooded joys.
All of these things are things which may be
If you support men’s rights, you just might see.
this is common mistake for many people when they try to write poetry, not just MRA. (of course MRAs seem to do it always). it is because what poetry people study at school usually from 1700 &1800, so people think that this is how they must write it. but this is mistake and actually makes people sound clumsy, or worse, arrogant
Good poetry is for many people. people alive in times of Pushkin or Wordsworth can understand what language they use, this is common language of that time. so modern poetry is most successful when it is on language of modern times. what is poetry which only poet can understand? only something to say ‘oh you are too stupid to understand my clever poem’.
I think poetry is like border between words and music – there is more than one meaning, more even than what poet wants to say, but best poetry is humble, something others can find the meaning or beauty inside, something which feels natural to read or to speak.
this poem he wrote is arrogant, awkward mess.
@wwth
Why be pissed off? They don’t care. Just don’t give them your cash – it’s not like you had your heart set on it, right? Go with your gut – if the customer service sucks when they’re trying to reel you in, no god knows how bad it is when you are on the hook.
I know you said you were trying to sign up for a free trial to see if you liked it, but those things can be impossible to cancel. Take the cancellation, in triplicate and signed in all 4 blood types, to a monk who sits on the tip of K2 every second Thursday unless it’s a full moon sort of deal. (I’m still paying one of those)
@Shadowplay
The first thing I did when I did my amazon prime trial was figure out how to cancel it so I would not get charged at the end.
Ah, but you’re organised. Not gifted in that department when it comes to money. 😛
Last free trial I signed up for was a seed club. It was OK, 3 month free trial, cancel anytime in the last 30 days. Was waiting for the cancel period to arrive, 6 weeks into the trial period – I got deployed for 7 months … 😛
Arrived home to a very nice garden – partner had planted the seeds as they arrived.
Yeah, the Twitter support account just replied to me and said no, they don’t offer email support and they only offer chat support if you’re already logged in. So I guess they lost a customer. Because I’m not about to call and beg them to let me give them my money. I’m puzzled as to how they can send me emails asking me to sign up for a free trial, but they can’t contact me by email to reset my password so I can actually do it? No sense at all.
If I can sustain my annoyance into tomorrow, I might contact their corporate offices to complain and see if I can get something for free though.
I do find it frustrating that corporations have such horrible policies that you have to really throw a snit to get your problem fixed. Because it’s not the fault of the customer service workers who have to hear the snit, but if you don’t put your foot down, you’ll just get scripted bs and your problem won’t be solved. Everyone loses but the executives.