Categories
fan mail feminism men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA

Roses are red, women are shrews, here’s a men’s rights poem for youse

Let’s see — brunt, bunt, hunt, shunt … so many possibilities!

By David Futrelle

I get a lot of, well, less-than-complimentary emails from dudes who aren’t what you’d call big fans of this site. But I don’t get a lot of poems.

So imagine my surprise when I checked my email this morning and found this. Enjoy!

You, sir. are an absolute Knave

By G—— R—— 
 
David Foo-troll, you son of a bitch.

If journalism were art, you’d not even be kitsch.

You riffle through trash, and you dig in the ditch

When you look for your subjects, and you give your pitch.

 

Your writing is garbage, your ideas are trite,

Not even a pro could set your blog right.

The fix is in, it must be set alight

While flames of justice glow in the night.

 

The call of the real men, the bark of the wild

Will show you the faces of those you’ve reviled

Male disposability is not a subject mild

All of civilization is on men’s backs piled.  

 

Come to your senses, I beseech you to change;

You’ll find that Men’s Rights are not at all strange,

And feminists your ally badge shall exchange

The moment you see men’s needs on the range.

 

Give aid to the harpies, give aid, if you dare

But a happy man who did so, never was there

I advise you in such company to take care,

Of their pack-minded bloodlust, I warn you, beware.

 

The approval of women, these ephemeral things,

Can’t give you the happiness that men’s rights brings

.

Well, it doesn’t always scan, and some of the rhymes are a little rough. But I have to applaud the effort.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

133 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Louis
Louis
2 years ago

And for those who need poetry, a quick Limerick:

A chap who loves doggerel or verse,
Could get taken away in a hearse,
Or bludgeoned or shot,
Or end daft from a clot,
Or go MRA, which is worse.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Soy boy is pretty transphobic/misogynistic since its based off of the notion that eating soy feminizes you because it contains estrogen,
it should be noted that soy contains PLANT estrogen which does not have any effect on humans so its also scientifically illiterate so as an insult it says more about the user.

Not to mention that cis men/AMAB people already produce estrogen naturally. Just not as much as cis women/AFAB people.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
2 years ago

(uh, during development, estrogens can’t even enter cells; the amount of estrogen doesn’t matter. Testosterone can – at which point it is converted into estraderol, which is the most common estrogen. Estraderol is what masculinizes the cell.)

(These guys have no frickin clue)

Jamborina Squib
Jamborina Squib
2 years ago

At the mention of soy boys, I can’t resist linking to this for those who haven’t seen it yet – Hbomberguy’s soy boy experiment

https://youtu.be/XYXkHIsslD0

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ scildfreja

Estraderol is what masculinizes the cell

I’m now imagining tiny cells lifting and saying “Did you see the ball game last night?”

kupo
kupo
2 years ago
Hexum7
Hexum7
2 years ago

Take your mind back, I don’t know when
Sometime when it always seemed
To be just us and them
Girls that wore pink
And boys that wore blue
Boys that always grew up better men
Than me and you
What’s a man now, what’s a man mean
Is he rough or is he rugged
Is he cultural and clean
Now it’s all change, it’s got to change more
Cause we think it’s getting better
But nobody’s really sure
And so it goes, go round again
But now and then we wonder who the real men are
See the nice boys, dancing in pairs
Golden earring golden tan
Blow-wave in the hair
Sure they’re all straight, straight as a line
All the gays are macho
Can’t you see their leather shine
You don’t want to sound dumb, don’t want to offend
So don’t call me a fagot
Not unless you are a friend
Then if you’re tall and handsome and strong
You can wear the uniform and I could play along
And so it goes, go round again
But now and then we wonder who the real men are
Time to get scared, time to change plan
Don’t know how to treat a lady
Don’t know how to be a man
Time to admit, what you call defeat
Cause there’s women running past you now
And you just drag your feet
Man makes a gun, man goes to war
Man can kill and man can drink
And man can take a whore
Kill all the blacks, kill all the reds
And if there’s war between the sexes
Then there’ll be no people left

Joe Jackson 1982

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ kupo

I love that episode. I’ve done something very similar though. I bluffed my way through about a decade of world cups and Euro tournaments by saying “I’m not sure whether there’s still room for the long ball in the modern game” and then just nodding occasionally as people took up the debate.

(I’m perversely proud of the fact I’ve done legal work for three professional football clubs but I’ve never been to a football match)

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I love how Hope Hicks admitted yesterday that she lied for Trump. Then today she resigns. And White Houses sources (almost certainly) lie and say she was planning on leaving all along it’s just an amazing coincidence she left out of the blue today.

comment image

For me the only question is whether she’s leaving on her own because she’s own more rat off the sinking ship or if she got fired for breaking loyalty by covering her own ass and admitting under oath that Trump is a lying liar. My money is on the latter.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

For me the only question is whether she’s leaving on her own because she’s own more rat off the sinking ship or if she got fired for breaking loyalty by covering her own ass and admitting under oath that Trump is a lying liar. My money is on the latter.

Eh, six of one, half a dozen of the other. Certainly wouldn’t stand between her and an emergency exit in a crisis, put it that way, so I can easily see her bailing to cover herself from further damage!

Which ties in to your second option – Trump demands loyalty, but surrounds himself with people who think loyalty is a supermarket points card or something to stir up the fools. He’s also incapable – by the looks of things – of instilling loyalty in his people. That isn’t a good trait in a leader of a bake sale, never mind a country.

So, in answer – yes. It were both. 😛

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
2 years ago

(haven’t had a chance to read all the poems yet, and this one has nothing to do with the content of the post, but I wrote it and was told to share it here anyway)

A small white frame on the ground,
With a darkened middle.

With a practised hand,
I hold it to the light.
A frozen moment in time is revealed –
Train tracks on the prairies.

I think about a dark room,
The sharp click as images changed.
Knowledge passed on from teacher to student.
(Though my eyes sometimes slid shut.)

I tuck it into a pocket,
Lulled by the rememebered soft hum.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

So, former Trump administration member Sam Nunberg (sp?) just went on MSNBC and basically said he thinks Trump did collude. He was trying to defend Trump … I think? But he said he thinks Putin promised Don Jr. dirt, Don Jr. told Cheeto Benito, but that it’s not a crime because nothing came of it and besides Hillary Clinton should have protected her emails better and Trump would have won without Putin’s help anyway.

I think this merits bringing out an old classic reaction gif

comment image

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

I hope the NRA go into apoplexy about this.

“Take the guns first, go through due process second.”

(That’s one Donald J Trump in a nauseating display of opportunism having presumably sussed the public mood)

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

My theory? In that meeting with the NRA the other day, they agreed to let Trump and his camp make some pro gun control noise with the understanding that congressional Republicans will not be allowed to let any gun control legislation make it his desk to actually sign. Trump’s ass is covered for a while and the NRA still gets what it wants.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

You’re undoubtedly right; although I expect Trump himself is just blustering away as usual. I doubt if he has a frikkin clue how any of this works.

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
2 years ago

Botulism is
the very best reason to
eat a dead seagull

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
2 years ago

Wal-Mart took the same route as Dick’s.

Good.

Since it was readily obvious from today’s performance that Trump didn’t have any clue where AR-15’s even *came* from; he seemed to be under the impression that the AR-15’s were all obtained via black market.

MrsObedMarsh
MrsObedMarsh
2 years ago

It’s far too much to hope we’ll get gun control legislation with teeth out of congressional Republicans, but at least we’re getting some sweet sweet gun owner tears. Small victories.

Micky Knox
Micky Knox
2 years ago

i almost rimes

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

How about congressional Democrats, in a couple more months?

Manafort’s trial has been scheduled to start in late September.

That’s not going to be an October surprise. It’s going to be an October surprise factory cranking out one of them after the next, and not one of them will endear Republicans to the electorate.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
2 years ago

i see that you are following the MSNBC’s as closely as I am, WWTH :3 My god, it’s like I need to make a bowl of popcorn all day with the steady stream of drams. I am willing to bet that Hope Hicks resigned because she was asked to lie about the “white lies” she told, and said no. She’s apparently a clever cookie and I bet she realizes that her career’s going to be very short if she starts lying under oath. So I bet that’s what’s going on there. We’ll see though!

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
2 years ago

@EJ
comment image

Fujimoto
Fujimoto
2 years ago

Bakunin
February 27, 2018 at 8:04 pm
@Fujimoto

The best response to TP USA, and the definition of self-own, Charlie Kirk in a diaper.

Thanks. I never knew about that. My campus newspaper is getting concerned about TPUSA’s antics since it became an official club.

Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
2 years ago

Dear MRAs:

Roses are red
violets are blue,
Your poetry stinks,
And so, probably, do you.

(Okay, so it isn’t Whitman…)

Bina
2 years ago

In Response to a Misandrist Post Made by One Futrelle

(snippage)

Oh look, our troll
came by to play —
not much improved
in any way
BURMA SHAVE

(He’s lucky I’m only here in my capacity as an ordinary commenter, and not as a poetry editor, because his dreck would have gotten him soundly rejected where I used to work…and not just because it belabored a rhyme scheme, either.)

EJ (The Other One)
2 years ago

Hey Axe.

comment image

I think Hicks jumping ship is a bigger story than we’ve realised. She’s a Trump loyalist from his reality-TV days, and has been very well rewarded for her loyalty; if she’s leaving then it can only be because the White House is falling apart faster than we suspect.

Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
2 years ago

I have mocked
your latest poetry
proclaiming misandry

that you thought would sway
David to the side of
all redblooded, true males

Forgive me
but it was so risible
so whiny
and yet so entitled

occasional reader
occasional reader
2 years ago

Roses are red
ah… i’m already tired.

I wonder… It seems that poetry fans, hit by the ludicrousness of the, er, text of this person, consider it as a piece of shit. Is it because of this kind of situation you are saying that shit hit the fan ?

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
2 years ago

Waterboarding words,
rhymes against humanity;
The Hague awaits you…

Malice W Underland
2 years ago

@Full Metal Ox

I just saw your comment! I’d never thought of this nitpick before, but I think you’re 100% right. It’s totally depression. It’s actually such an accurate depiction of depression that I have to assume it was from the personal experience of one of the band members.

Paradoxical Intention: Resident Cheeseburger Slut

I’d contribute to this poetry slam,
But I’m afraid I’m a sham,

And my sleep medication is kicking in.

I’m no Troubelle the bard,
and let’s face it

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/wrih.gif

Steven Dutch
Steven Dutch
2 years ago

Reminds me of Tom Lehrer’s “Folk Song Army.”

Oh the tune don’t have to be pretty
And it don’t matter if you get a couple of extra syllables into a line.

Also a Pearls Before Swine:
I hate my neighbor (yayyy!)
I wish he’d die (applause)..

Gets trophy.
What’s this for?
Winning the poetry slam.
I thought this was the city council meeting.

(dejectedly) That’s when they took my trophy away.