Roses are red, women are shrews, here’s a men’s rights poem for youse

By David Futrelle

I get a lot of, well, less-than-complimentary emails from dudes who aren’t what you’d call big fans of this site. But I don’t get a lot of poems.

So imagine my surprise when I checked my email this morning and found this. Enjoy!

You, sir. are an absolute Knave

By G—— R—— 
 
David Foo-troll, you son of a bitch.

If journalism were art, you’d not even be kitsch.

You riffle through trash, and you dig in the ditch

When you look for your subjects, and you give your pitch.

 

Your writing is garbage, your ideas are trite,

Not even a pro could set your blog right.

The fix is in, it must be set alight

While flames of justice glow in the night.

 

The call of the real men, the bark of the wild

Will show you the faces of those you’ve reviled

Male disposability is not a subject mild

All of civilization is on men’s backs piled.  

 

Come to your senses, I beseech you to change;

You’ll find that Men’s Rights are not at all strange,

And feminists your ally badge shall exchange

The moment you see men’s needs on the range.

 

Give aid to the harpies, give aid, if you dare

But a happy man who did so, never was there

I advise you in such company to take care,

Of their pack-minded bloodlust, I warn you, beware.

 

The approval of women, these ephemeral things,

Can’t give you the happiness that men’s rights brings

.

Well, it doesn’t always scan, and some of the rhymes are a little rough. But I have to applaud the effort.