By David Futrelle
FADE IN
INT. DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES
WOMAN WAITING IN LINE TO RENEW DRIVERS LICENSE:
Dude, could you maybe stop blatantly staring at my boobs?
GUY WHO JUST WROTE A 1000-WORD POST FOR RETURN OF KINGS TITLED “THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH STARING AT A WOMAN’S BREASTS”
This boils down to slandering healthy male sexuality as if there’s something abnormal in a man who feels sexual desire towards a beautiful woman and likes boobs and firm butts. The reality, of course, is that nothing could be more normal than this …
But even this mere feeling of desire and sexual interest towards women is slandered and labeled as something questionable these days. …
Why do people propagate this message so eagerly these days? I can only guess, but it seems quite clear to me that these people feel some kind of fear towards male sexuality. The male sexual desire itself is somehow scary or dangerous and should be denigrated and slandered so that men would begin to feel shame about their completely healthy desires.
In a certain way, these people want to castrate men: make men into sheepish “gentlemen” who no longer look women with “greedy eyes” and feel sexual desire towards them, or who at least are ashamed of it and keep it to themselves. This is a form of psychological castration and I can only feel a strong sense of contempt towards people who propagate this bullshit. …
The message is a malicious attempt to slander and denigrate normal male sexuality. “Gentleman” here seems to be a man who doesn’t even feel sexual desire towards women anymore and never looks at women with “greedy eyes.” In other words, an abnormal castrate instead of a healthy man. What a truly despicable agenda!
GUY turns to look at woman. She is gone. Everyone else is gone. He is locked inside the now-closed DMV.
FADE OUT
Oh, yeah, also, telling people to chill. Don’t do that, all that does is says “I don’t care about your feelings”. If you’ve upset them and you don’t want to be a jerk, find out why they’re upset and fix it.
For some people it’s okay to be a jerk. kupo isn’t one of them <3
I’m not even upset. I just don’t want to do all your emotional labor for you. ?
If you want to know if a term is ableist, try Google. Or ask everyone. Don’t target specific people, especially not women, to do that work for you.
Fuck this shit.
I understand quite well – I’m simply not going coddle the delicate feelings of a bunch of assholes who don’t “understand” why they can’t treat me like a piece of meat.
I also feel like “Female Y*d” is against the comments policy. I don’t like to read it anyway. it is Jewish slur. almost same a Russian slur. I know maybe you try to ‘reclaim’ it, but just imagine same name but with other slur that is ‘reclaimed’. still will upset some people, still not appropriate.
There’s something wrong here, though I can’t quite figure out how to say it.
Speaking of racism…
For those who still think that Fox News is still clear…
Re: excess sympathy extended towards men as a means of social re-focusing. I find the idea persuasive as presented by Philosopher Kate Mann.
https://jezebel.com/philosopher-kate-manne-on-himpathy-donald-trump-and-r-1822639677
In a separate social space devoted to dissecting problem behavior this might not as much of a problem. But when the awfulness of the act or the perspective of the victims is the focus this can become a problem unless paired with the subject to keep focus (lest people with other tendencies pull the conversation into a harmful focus on the sexist/misogynist as has been the dynamic).
Wait, didn’t that Patrick Howley twerp write this in the Daily Caller like 5 years ago?
Yup, got it here: http://dailycaller.com/2013/12/08/liberals-want-to-stop-men-from-checking-out-women/
And here’s Sam Seder just running circles around this schmuck…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXxotC9s8Q8
Man, Howley just sounds so defeated by the end. If you’ve got 40 minutes to spare, it’s an entertaining listen. This was a year before GamerGate and Howley’s article reads like a Milo column, but with a tad more polish. Poor dope really just missed the boat if he wanted that level of internet (in)famy.
As a gay man who’s been out since my senior year of high school (’78/’79), I’ve had the opportunity to examine the nuances of my own male gaze. I am rarely in social milieux where open gawking is without risk. My sense is that some/many cishet men feel both safe and entitled in this respect, and that part of their terror of gay men is the realization that they might be the object, rather than the subject, of such attention.
I also had certain socialization challenges unrelated to my own sexuality, and resolved in college to work consciously on not being a complete goon around other people. Not because I cared about them as people (I’m still working on that, forty years later), but because I didn’t want to present myself that way. It’s become clear to me over the decades that this is not a usual motivation.
In short (too late!), it’s entirely possible to work on yourself to be less gross around others, but you need a motivation. Realizing that others will hold them at a distance with distaste may be the only motivation that some of these men will respond to. It would be nice if they wanted to be better people, but we can’t count on that.
@kupo and Mammotheers,
I submit for your consideration Aggressive Retsuko as best Sanrio
Please watch her videos. That is all.
Thank you for the link, Brony – that was a great article!
Everyone. I sincerely apologize. I done screwed up. I get that now. I’m not a victim. It’s my own arrogance that did me in
I think I went through something akin to the seven stages of grief before I realized this fully
And, to all of you who bothered to explain to me where I went off the rails, especially Kupo, and Scildfreja, thank you. I realize now that you were all trying to help me.
I’ll try to do better next time
Brony- thank you for the link
Frank, <3
Keep a tight hold of the feelings you’ve gone through. Especially the ones that you felt while you felt like you were right and everyone else was just being a jerk. Those feelings are the only sign that Odin’s gonna give you that you’re wrong about something. It’s vital to remember those feelings and hold them close so that you can recognize the warning when it comes again.
Good for you for figuring it out so quickly. That’s really hard. You done good <3 Keep it up.
Thanks, scildfreja. That is great advice
I know I’m late to the party, but I feel a fisky urge coming on…
No, it doesn’t.
No, it isn’t.
No, we don’t. We’re just fed up with you gawking at us with your fuckin’ tongue hanging out, dude. Boredom + disgust ≠ fear.
Hardly. It’s so banal that I can’t even yawn at it anymore, because THAT bores me, too. Look, all I want is for you to keep your googly eyeballs to yourself. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently, it IS too much to ask.
Dude, if you want to talk about “psychological castration”, here’s a pro tip: Freudian shit is obsolete. Find a new metaphor.
Nobody’s putting your ‘nads in a vise when they tell you their eyes are “up here”, I promise. But if you try to rub them on someone who isn’t expressing enthusiastic consent to you doing so, don’t be too surprised if someone’s knee decides to take up residence in your crotch.
Forcibly.
I’m sorry, I just fell asleep at this part. I’m sure I’d have said something terribly clever in response, if only it had merited one.
@Hippodameia, frank travellin
You are welcome. You imagine their reaction to the word “himpathy” already.
Himpathy on steroids, from this piece of drivel published at the Washington Post:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/i-thought-my-bully-deserved-an-awful-life-but-then-he-had-one/2018/02/21/5c36bc94-1013-11e8-9570-29c9830535e5_story.html?hpid=hp_no-name_opinion-card-b%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.56f14e9a2523
And therefore they should be prioritized, while the people they’ve deliberately hurt are just . . . understandable collateral damage of the bullies’ pain.
the animal planet veterinarian shows have quite a lot of literal castration in them
spaying is also shown, but less often (while pet population control is equal-opportunity, male farm animals are more likely to be surgically sterilized)
my point being – literal castration is rather different from the behavior modification which is being requested and objected to – like lincoln’s example of a dog’s fifth leg, calling something ‘castration’ doesn’t change what it actually is
I could not help but look at the end of the article and find a link to an article named “hating female sexuality: is it normal?” in related content.
Gotta love the irony.