Merry Christmas, if you’re into that sort of thing!

@Shadowplay

“How else would you characterise [quote from GOSJM] then?”

Fair enough, I have NO interest in arguing over what someone else meant, since I don’t read minds. I was only pointing out that his post as a whole didn’t rub me that way. But then again, I’m an idiot. 😐 Moving on…

To be clear, the rest of that post was 100% me.

@Scild

“Our media is soaking in anti-slavic sentiment. They’re practically a go-to villain, opposition, or general underhanded-shady-person archetype.”

Good point.

@Valentin

“this is why this discussion is important. it is easy to see clear racism or xenophobia, and easy to fight. harder to see things which disguise like kindness or concern but which still ignorant. and it is hard to criticise people who share your political ideas.”

Yes, good point.

Maybe we are reading your article from different ends. It kinda pissed me off at first glance, but I should take a seat here. You haven’t said anything that I haven’t agreed with.

I was more worried that hate would beget hate. I don’t want Russians to assume that our anger at Russia has everything to do with our feelings towards Russians. Whatever bullshit Slavophobia that we possess, (and I’m sorry for that), our anger towards the Russian government is legitimate.

@mrex

Yer as far from an idiot as I am from a saint, OK?

I was more worried that hate would beget hate.

shows that, as it’s wise indeed.

Christ, I log off for half an hour and some utter jackass sends a fake nuke alert to Hawaii.

The Hawaii emergency management agency says that nuke warning was sent accidentally during a drill. Maybe a drill ought not to include a warning which explicitly says “this is not a drill”. Just a thought.

Maybe a drill ought not to include a warning which explicitly says “this is not a drill”. Just a thought.

this is so funny – but sad and terrifying

Threadrupt from page 10:
Everybody judgeing Mrex harshly, but not me, I’m taking ownership of those “fuck offs” too.

Right back atcha. A parent isn’t just someone who “pops out a kid”. Being a parent is much, much more and until you know that responsibility, no, you don’t know what its like.

You have the right and responsibility to know where your kids are and who they are with. Cell phone or landline, meatspace or online, you have a job to do and you better do it well because predators are always on the lookout for unattended minors.

So many people had shitty parents that they can’t seem to imagine another kind. What you’re worried about is abusive, bigoted parents who are cruel. That’s a separate issue and I and Mrex do not deserve to be judged as automatically one of those because we we’re doing our job as parents.

Someone even said I was saying “not all parents”. Really? Having children puts me in that category? Christ a rubber crutch, that’s toxic.

@mrex
Help me out, here. I’ve re-read my reply a couple of times and I’m not seeing anywhere that I’m making any assumptions about your personal life, your ethnicity, your experiences, or your motivations. Couild you please let me know what I said that gave you this impression? My goal was to do two things: 1) counter the narrative being pushed by multiple commenters that anti-slavic sentiment doesn’t exist on the left and 2) share my personal experiences in this matter. Clearly I’ve failed, as I was not intending to say anything about anyone else’s experiences, and I’d like to know what I said wrong. If you could be as kind as to enlighten me, I would appreciate it.

We inherit the traumas of our parents, and pass them onto our children.

Parenting’s hard. It’s the impossible task. It is true that parents need to protect their children from predators. It’s also true that invasion of privacy can have an absolutely shattering, life-long effect on their psyche, no matter how important that invasion might have been at the time.

When you are presented with an infinite number of choices, and they’re all bad in different ways, it can be impossible to choose. Sometimes the only choice left is whether you’re the one to stick in the knife, or to risk letting some stranger do it.

I’m not taking either side in that particular fight, because I don’t think sides exist in that one. It’s the central tragedy of humanity. We inherit the traumas of our parents and pass them on to our children.

Be good to one another. No one else is going to.

I also make them see doctors and dentists on schedule. I decide if they take medication take their ADD. (They do.) I decide where they go to school and I have access to their savings accounts. I make them sleep on clean sheets and decide where in the house they can eat and drink to prevent infestations. I don’t let them draw on the walls. They can’t get tattoos until they’re 18. That’s not abnormal or cruel.

Parental control is not some evil conspiracy.

Some of you are starting to sound like the PUAs who think sex with minors is fine and keeping them from sex with adult men is stiffling their freedom.

TIL not violating a child’s privacy and teaching them they have a right to keep secrets (Therefore they can trust their parents with things they want to share) is equivalent to being a pedophile.

I also make them see doctors and dentists on schedule. I decide if they take medication take their ADD. (They do.) I decide where they go to school and I have access to their savings accounts. I make them sleep on clean sheets and decide where in the house they can eat and drink to prevent infestations. I don’t let them draw on the walls. They can’t get tattoos until they’re 18. That’s not abnormal or cruel.

No, it isn’t. Parenting is really hard. And the hardest part is that there aren’t consistent answers to a lot of these things. There are situations, and have been situations, and will be situations, where reading a kid’s communication can keep them safe from harm. But that doesn’t make privacy less fundamentally important to human beings, or the violation any less awful – it’s just, in those situations, it was the best option.

Some things just have to be so – take your medicine, go to school, keep your space clean, eat what I serve you because I know it’s healthy and balanced. Those are habits they should be developing anyway. But a habit they shouldn’t develop is “It’s normal and okay for people in my life to read all my communications whether I want them to or not”. I would say it should be closer to “It’s normal and okay for me to show my communications to people I trust if I think something’s a little strange, or I’m not sure what’s going on.”

Parental control is not some evil conspiracy.

…Parental control isn’t a binary state. It’s best employed with the parent controlling some things, but as much as possible being left to the child, as they become used to being their own person, and become able to manage themselves as adults.

I’m with you, SFHC.

In other news, Trey Gowdy resigned from the House Ethics Committee.

@kupo

I think Valentin already covered this; you were speaking in a general “you”, even though you were quoting me. I assumed that a quote from me meant you were directly replying to me.

You’re not going to claim that you have never made assumptions about me, are you? Because you have. But I’m not even mad. Just take the point and move on.

Re:Parenting

I have shit to say, but I’m still a little pissed off about that.

ETA:

@Sandra

“…Parental control isn’t a binary state. It’s best employed with the parent controlling some things, but as much as possible being left to the child, as they become used to being their own person, and become able to manage themselves as adults.”

Holy shit I agree with you. Why didn’t you say this the first time around, rather than calling me an “abuser”!?

I’m pretty sure my 12 year old son’s psyche was damaged more by the rape and incest porn he was watching and by his exposure to a pedophile than by me restricting his access to them. The girls (as young as 9) he told he would kill himself if they didn’t talk to him or who he told to “go suck a dick, bitch” probably felt pretty damaged too.

All our psyches were pretty damaged by the police waking us up when he begged strangers on Facebook for help when he claimed he was being kidnapped. We’re lucky no one was shot.

I don’t know what kind of Candyland world people think kids inhabit that they have a right to privacy when I’m legally responsible for any damage they do or harm they come to, but I live in this world and so do my kids. When I can give them privacy and freedom, I do. There are times when it is absolutely necessary to draw a line because they are not adults and do not have the same rights for a reason.

I’m so accustomed to being told I’m too liberal and let them have too much choice. I support their sexual choices as they grow into teens, though I try hard to teach them consent and responsibility. I encourage them to embrace whatever gender, orientation and religion or lack of they feel is right for them. So, naturally, I’m a monster. This is new. I’m a monster for not being liaise faire enough. That’s part of parenting though. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t, especially by the childfree who will never have to walk a mile in your shoes.