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Happy Thanksgiving and/or Thursday! Open Thread

Happy Thanksgiving, to everyone who celebrates it! And a very merry Thursday to everyone who doesn’t.

Because I haven’t provided a health update in a while (outside of the comments) I just wanted to reassure everyone that I am still here, and still trying to sort through a bunch of medical issues with the help of assorted doctors, some very competent and others not so much.

The issues I’m facing aren’t lifethreatening, but they are still debilitating enough to keep me from regular posting here. Sorry to be so vague; I’ll offer more details once some of these issues are sorted out a bit more. I’ll return to posting as soon as I am able but I cannot predict when that will be.

I appreciate everyone’s patience and continued support. Thanks!

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NicolaLuna
NicolaLuna
4 years ago

@WWTH and ooglyboggles
Thanks, I hope so too.

@ooglyboggles
My mum was similar about my antidepressants. She said they’re just a crutch. I asked her if she tells people with broken legs not to use crutches.

Have you explained to her that things are going better now *because* the meds are working?

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
4 years ago

@Shadowplay
Currently I don’t live with her. Atm I’m with aunts and grandmother to keep college commutes short. Usually she doesn’t bring it up during our phone calls and so far I’ve been able to pretend I’m busy and kept my calls with her brief. If she starts bringing it up more and more Your suggestion for me to use the doctor is a good idea. She’s no the type to dismiss a person in their field of expertise.

@NicolaLuna
I did, but then she mumbled something about side affects and over reliance on meds. I’m just glad that she and everyone in my family almost never mentions my meds to my face, and when they do they haven’t pressed the issue. I’m certain the reason why they haven’t brought the subject up more often was because they don’t have the energy to argue with me.

Catalpa
Catalpa
4 years ago

@Oogly,

Perhaps an analogy would help? If a diabetic suddenly stops experiencing hypogycemic and hyperglycemic reactions because they started using insulin, that doesn’t mean that they no longer need insulin. It means that the insulin is working.

People with diabetes cannot regulate their insulin levels, and people with clinical depression cannot regulate (some of) their neurotransmitter levels. Having an external source of these substances is important for the continued health of people with these conditions.

Lea
Lea
4 years ago

Well put, Catalpa.

Sheila Crosby
4 years ago

@NicolaLuna Good luck with the operation.

@ooglyboggles best of luck. I get tired of explaining to people that yes, some psychiatric medicines are over-prescribed but some people really do need them and find life so much better with them. I haven’t told anyone to fuck off yet but I’ve a feeling that it’s a matter of time.

@Vicky I’d like to be Granny too, but I’m not worthy either. I’m no good at cheese-making either so I can’t be Tiffany. I think I might have to settle for being Magrat (note spelling) and making the tea, or Perdita if can learn pig boring.

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
4 years ago

@Oogyboggles:

Seconding Shadowplay, about your antidepressants. I’ve been on them for 12 years.

Hunting season has started, in the good ‘ol commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Which means I don’t know how safe it is to take a walk where I live. I’ve heard gunshots over the last few days. Also, I just read that a hunter shot and killed a woman in New York state. He said he mistook her for a deer. I’m stuck with walking laps around my property, which gets boring after a while. Sigh.

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
4 years ago

My mum was similar about my antidepressants. She said they’re just a crutch. I asked her if she tells people with broken legs not to use crutches.

Oh yeah. I used to get the Van Gogh question a lot: Where would Van Gogh be if he’d had antidepressants? Probably not dead at thirty-seven.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
4 years ago

Trump: He’s been in office for almost a year, but he still can make me say, WTF!!!!!!!

Trump Now Says the Access Hollywood Tape May Be Fake
He privately told two White House members that he doubts the tape’s authenticity.

Donald Trump has resolutely refused to withdraw his support from Senate candidate Roy Moore, even in the wake of the sexual harassment and assault accusations leveled against Moore—and the unflattering comparisons many have drawn between descriptions of Moore’s behavior and the infamous Access Hollywood tape in which Trump himself bragged that, because he was famous, he could “grab” women “by the pussy.” Though Trump confirmed the leaked tape’s authenticity in the fall of 2016, new reports indicate that the president is now claiming that the clip is fake as well.

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2017/11/trump-access-hollywood-tape-fake

Robert Walker-Smith
Robert Walker-Smith
4 years ago

My twenty year old son has decided to stop taking his antipsychotics. My husband and I are being as supportive as we can, but neither of us really expect a positive outcome.

I’ll stop taking my antidepressants when they pry them from my cold, dead hands. I can remember what it was like without them. Fortunately for me, I don’t have any disapproving family members to contend with.

My husband is part of a three-man coven. They work very much as Crone, Mother and Maiden except translated into male equivalents. I thought it was funny that he was the Mother even before he became a father. When they’re in the same room you can see them sharing a brain.

PaganReader - Misandrist Spinster

@dormousing_it
Do you have anything in blaze orange? When we lived in the country, my mother always had us wear blaze orange during hunting season.
I heard about that poor woman too. She was just trying to walk her dog(s?) and some dude taking an illegal shot killed her (accidentally, but still).

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
4 years ago

Discworld coven for the win! I’ve posted this pic before but I love it so much:

comment image

@Fabe,

The Cuphead furore is a fascinating study in manufacturing a conspiracy out of literally, actually nothing. Shaun’s vid does a great job tracing all of the links back and showing the creation of “games journalists hate Cuphead” and “SJWs want to take over our games” narratives. The proposed easy mode is apparently b/c the game is “ableist”; discussion of the animation style & its problematic origins means that the game is racist according to lefties, and so on.
People have gotten worked up into frothing fury over this. It’d be great for a sociology class 🙂

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
4 years ago

Apologies for yet another post – I want to respond to just about everyone here, but that would drive you all mad 🙂

Re anti-depressants: Catalpa’s analogy is excellent. You don’t stop taking something because it’s working, ffs. In fact it can be dangerous to stop anti-depressants suddenly. It’s not like the whole world knows, anyway – if anyone’s worried about stigma (I know some people are).

@NicolaLuna
You are incredibly brave and amazing. All the best for the surgery <3

OT re above – is anyone following the backlash at NYT over that "here's a perfectly ordinary, cat-loving chap who happens to be a Nazi" article?

Mooncustafer
Mooncustafer
4 years ago

I just saw Wonkette’s review of the article.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
4 years ago

I’ve seen a variety of backlash, ranging from people who knew/were related to Holocaust victims to people who dissect the article pointing out missed opportunities for followup questions or greater context.

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
4 years ago

@Pagan Reader – Misandrist Spinster:

Yes, I have a knit hat in blaze orange. I’m still afraid that won’t be enough. I should probably get a vest in blaze orange, too.

Where I live, some people own acres of land. They don’t build anything, they just go hunting on it. This land abuts to people with houses. I’ve seen hunters walk across my property. I’ve also seen them, twice, walking down the street with their rifles.

sunnysombrera
sunnysombrera
4 years ago

Mish: Hah, I love it when alt-righters burst their own blood vessels in a rage of their own making. It’s so entertaining.

Bleh, just got into a Reddit argument with a dude who used to sub to fatpeoplehate and now I feel gross. 😞 Guy is still a dumb asshole who thinks that shaming overweight people is the key to slimming them down.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

Happy post-Thanksgiving/regular November weekend to all Mammotheers. Hugs and sympathy for everyone dealing with crappy relatives, or missing dear ones who aren’t present. I wish holidays didn’t throw family shortcomings into such sharp relief.

This was the first Thanksgiving without my mom. It was hard not having her here. She loved this holiday. Her house used to be the place we’d all gather, but now we don’t have that central hub anymore. The boys and I ended up having a microwaved potluck dinner in the lobby of a Super 8 motel with my brother and his wife, in a state halfway between us. I guess the change of scenery was good, but it felt like it was one step removed from feasting out of bus station vending machines.

Did anyone else see the recent tidbit about 4channers eating raw onions to boost their testosterone? From the OP:

Time and again, science has confirmed that onion and its juice boost testosterone levels—sometimes threefold. So, I just attempted to drink a cup—a single cup—of onion juice. Needless to say, consuming onion juice was a trying, though masculine experience, and my entire house smells as if an uncleaned NFL locker room and Mexican kitchen converged upon a single point. I can feel the onion juice flowing through my body, coming into contact with every organ, every cell, and every bodily fluid.

I love that….”a trying, though masculine experience”

It then devolved, predictably, into a discussion about which onions are the least “degenerate”.

Mooncustafer
Mooncustafer
4 years ago

who thinks that shaming overweight people is the key to slimming them down.

Well, we’ve only been trying it for, what a couple of hundred years? /sarcasm

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

It then devolved, predictably, into a discussion about which onions are the least “degenerate”.

comment image

How does an onion become degenerate? I don’t even get it. Does “vidalia” sound too gay for them or something?

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
4 years ago
PeeVee the (Tired of the Militant Plasticfaced) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Tired of the Militant Plasticfaced) Sarcastic
4 years ago

Seriously, guys. Buy some onion capsules, if you really believe in this onion will raise T levels. Eyeroll.

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
4 years ago

RE: This business of eating raw onion because it supposedly raises testosterone levels – I suspect this is mega-trolling. Though, I’m sure there are some dumbasses who’ll give it a try. How can an onion be degenerate? Are white onions somehow the best, while other colored onions are degenerate? These are rhetorical questions.

My cat Sassy is, right now, rather painfully kneading my neck. She’s another cat who’s fascinated with my eyeglasses – when I take them off, she prods them with her paw.

dreemr
dreemr
4 years ago

I have been taking an antidepressent for nearly 20 years, and you’ll never get me to give them up and go back to the incredible depression and anxiety I suffered for years prior to that.

Although I don’t keep it a secret, I don’t think it’s anyone’s business, either. I am very sorry some of you are facing such unhelpful and poor judgement from family members. Why on earth they feel entitled to comment on it is beyond me.

Re: walking in the country during hunting season – here in North Dakota, out at the farm we always kept the kids indoors during deer hunting season. Not so much that people would purposely shoot at children in the mistaken belief that they are deer – although that does happen (buck fever) – but because bullets can travel a long ways even when aiming at a legitimate target if missed. Best to just stay inside for the 2 weeks, or maybe try going to a town or high school with a track for the duration.

PeeVee the (Tired of the Militant Plasticfaced) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Tired of the Militant Plasticfaced) Sarcastic
4 years ago

Re: the woman who was shot after being mistaken for a deer: it was after sundown, and she was shot with a pistol.

Not being very familiar with deer hunting, I have to ask: is it common to hunt deer with a pistol? I truly don’t know.

dreemr
dreemr
4 years ago

@PeeVee I wouldn’t say it’s common, but I know a few (jackasses) who have done it. It is kind of silly because a pistol generally isn’t very accurate at any range other than “right on top of the target”.

More importantly, though, deer hunting ends at sundown.

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
4 years ago

Thanks, dreemr. This whole thing is just tragic.

Fabe
Fabe
4 years ago

Not being very familiar with deer hunting, I have to ask: is it common to hunt deer with a pistol? I truly don’t know.

I think some hunters carry one in case their rifle incapacitates but doesn’t kill a deer. They could just shoot the deer point blank to put it down but I guess they want to save the rifle ammo.

Shadowplay
Shadowplay
4 years ago

@PV

Not being very familiar with deer hunting, I have to ask: is it common to hunt deer with a pistol? I truly don’t know.

Only among assholes. Don’t know a single person (in any country I have hunting friends) who would even think of it, though as Fabe says a lot of the people I know in the US do carry a pistol as an “in case” against a poor rifle shot. Pistol shots don’t go very far if you have to put a wounded deer down.

Sure, it’s doable – a pistol will kill a deer if you’re a decent shot. Usually though, it’s not a clean kill which means you’ve got to track an injured animal and put it out of it’s misery. An asshole move, in other words. There’s nothing wrong with hunting (for food, not sport!!!), but a clean kill is the prime directive.

Thinking on the story with my fiction hat on – it’s a hell of an alibi for a targetted murder, isn’t it? “She was accidentally shot by a hunter” is up there with “Hit by a drunk driver” in terms of shifting the charges of murder to manslaughter.

Talonknife
Talonknife
4 years ago

@PeeVee You’re very unlikely to be able to kill a deer with a handgun, most just don’t have the stopping power at the kind of range you’d want to shoot a deer from. The only kinds of handguns I could really see effective deer hunting with are .357 or .44.

Also, rule #1 of hunting is to positively identify your target. If there’s the slightest possibility what you’re looking at isn’t what you’re hunting, you should never shoot at it.

Fabe
Fabe
4 years ago

Pistol shots don’t go very far if you have to put a wounded deer down.

I agree ,I was thinking in a situation where a deer is down but wounded for the use of a pistol.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
4 years ago

@Catalpa
The insulin analogy sounds like something she would understand. She knows enough people in her life with diabetes to know that there’s nothing wrong with taking something for a common ailment.

@Dormousing_it
And I hope your antidepressants keep you on the up and up for more years to come.

@Hippodameia
Oh the possibilities of a Van Gogh living a long, happy life, content with his art.

@Robert Walker-Smith
Sorry to hear that about your son. At least he has you two to rely on if/when he needs to take his antipsychotics.

@Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Tbh I don’t really worry about stigma. Some people take inhalers for asthma, some take regular blood tests for their diabetes and some take painkillers so they can go about their lovely days. I don’t really see how it’d be any different for me. In regards to stopping them, a few months ago I forgot to refill my prescription for a few days. I felt completely awful, the basic act of even walking felt hazy, like someone turned off my internal drive. I’m just glad that when that happened I was just walking rather than driving.

@dreemr
Sorry about the years of suffering you had prior to taking anti depressant medication. But at the same time I’m glad to hear that the meds have given you decades of you allowed to be who you want to be and feel. In fairness to my mom, I was the one who brought it up by mentioning I refilled my prescription. I made the mistake of thinking that talking about it was a good idea. Then again I kind of wished she’d just noticed that and moved on to another topic instead of framing my depression like a flu that eventually goes away. Well at least she and my relatives aren’t very confrontational when it comes to that subject. As long as I don’t mention it, they’ll almost never talk about it.

sunnysombrera
sunnysombrera
4 years ago

Re: hunting and the poor lady that was shot.

The image I’m getting is that she was shot in a residential area and not out in the deep woods. Surely this can’t be right? Are there really cowboys with rifles walking round small rural towns in the hopes of killing a deer that might happen to appear?

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 years ago

@sunnysombrera : that kind of incident happen in France, even if I can’t point to an example where the shot actually wounded someone. It come from hunters who follow their target in the suburbian area.

One time they killed the deer with daggers. A litte girl watched the life reenacting of Bambi.

(also, people killed by hunters taking them from pretty much anything, ranging from duck to bear to rabbits is a common occurence in France. Local law enforcement is *WAY* too lax with people who hunt while drunk)

Pie
Pie
4 years ago

@Dormousing_it

This business of eating raw onion because it supposedly raises testosterone levels – I suspect this is mega-trolling. Though, I’m sure there are some dumbasses who’ll give it a try. How can an onion be degenerate?

A particularly entertaining bit of this whole ridiculous episode is the authorship of the paper that these idiots are holding up as a manly way to manlily boost their white western manliness:
Mohammed Z Allouh, Haytham M Daradka, Mohammed M Al Barbarawi and Ayman G Mustafa
. I eagerly await the backlash when some of them decide that this is an evil muslim plot to pollute their precious bodily fluids.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

Re the woman shot by her neighbour – that story just popped up in my WaPo feed, after I’d read people’s comments here.
She was 200 yards away, and what really struck me was she was walking her two dogs at the time. Easy to say “How did he mistake a woman + 2 dogs for a deer?”, I know, but given the poor light, why in hell did he fire in the first place? Even the “it was self-defence, I thought I was in danger” clearly doesn’t apply here. It’s so sad. I can’t even begin to get my head around what some of you are saying about staying indoors during hunting season.

@Oogly – I’ve missed my Zoloft script a couple of times in the past and it was so horrible that I’m super careful now to never run out. Brrr.
And wrt to stigma, I was thinking more of your mum; i.e. she needn’t be concerned because it’s not something that everyone can see, unless you choose to make it known. Anyways, I hope that she’s more understanding if it comes up again.

dreemr
dreemr
3 years ago

@Ooglyboggles – I hope I didn’t come across as blaming you for your situation with your mom. I understand wanting to talk to her about important things. I probably get overly-defensive about that kind of thing as I was never able to share personal information like that with my own mother without the fear of her using it against me somehow.

In any case, I hope it works well for you and that your relatives can find a way to be more supportive of you.

Katamount (formerly Gussie Jives)
Katamount (formerly Gussie Jives)
3 years ago

@Mish

Wow, just hopped over to the Wonkette breakdown of that NYT article and holy hell, that there is a clinic in how not to do an article about the local Nazi. And I’ve actually been a proponent of doing profiles on 4chan /pol/ dwellers just to get to the root of what draws these people in so the same pattern can be avoided, but as the Wonkette article notes, we don’t arrive at that key element and it just comes off as humanizing a man who calls Adolf Effing Hitler “a chill guy.”

It’s possible evil is just inexplicable as the Wonkette article says, but there’s gotta be some kind of throughline here; it takes effort to burn empathy out of people to the point where they think it’s funny to post gas chamber memes. Whether it’s economic hardship that’s stressing families to the point parents don’t pay heed to what their kids are doing online, a failing education system that’s not providing either kids or adults with enough historical perspective or socialization to adequately understand the ramifications of online interaction, white people not having any attachment to cultural touchstones of the past or just bigots being bigots, I’d like to know where this stuff comes from.

The closest we got is his Charles Murray/Pat Buchanan gateway, and you know who I thought of when I read that? Dylann Roof. “I was just a regular (albeit troubled) kid doing regular troubled kid things and then I Googled ‘black on white crime’ and I was hooked on white supremacy….” Plenty of kids come from abusive homes (as many here have attested) but don’t latch on to hate just to find some kind of purpose. Is it because it provides easy answers and scapegoats to one’s problems? Are these people that hard up for a network that they go to the armpit of the internet to find it?

I’m sure social scientists are studying the radicalizing of white people as we speak, but journalists really need to step up to the plate in changing the narrative from “Aren’t these Nazis charming and quirky” to “Sure they might act like regular people, but their online activities actually do end up hurting and in some cases killing people.”

No one
No one
3 years ago

Girlschase is the self proclaimed most popular PUA website on the internet, with almost 1 million visits per month.

They recently wrote an article on the numerous sexual assaults being condemned in the media recently.

http://www.girlschase.com/content/harvey-weinstein-gropocalypse-and-metoo-campaign

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
3 years ago

@Shadowplay:
I know this is a few days old now, but this always gets me to twitch:

Blurb misspells laser (Seriously, America – fuck off with the Z thing. It’s embarrassing).

Gah. Laser isn’t just a word, it’s a bloody acronym: Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation. You can’t just change a letter.

Estrogen in plants: yeah, that has been a thing with the ‘purity of (manly) essence’ crowd for many years now. Doesn’t make any more sense now than it did then.

Re: Cuphead. I’d managed to entirely miss that controversy, though the game looks fun and very Fleischeresque. Given Mish’s summary, it doesn’t sound like I missed much. A whole lot of special snowflakes laughing about how other people must be ‘triggered’, while said other people are mostly going ‘what are you on about?’.

@poglodyte:
Writing is great for running through ideas. I know I need to get back to doing more of it. I originally joined an APA (Amateur Press Association) because having deadlines and a minac (minimum acceptable contribution) encouraged me to actually write things. Then I became one of the editors of said APA, though APAs are kind of falling by the wayside in general because the Internet is the ultimate vanity press. I recently retired as editor due to being overwhelmed, the other editor is now overwhelmed as well, and I’ve been kind of casting about for a new writing inspiration of late.

(And yes, I know it’s still NaNoWriMo. Never got that to work for me. I’m too much of a compulsive editor and tweaker; I can’t seem to do the streamed first draft you need to do for NaNoWriMo.)

GenJones
GenJones
3 years ago

My parents can be dysfunctional to the point that I’ve considered cutting ties and going no contact with them before. I couldn’t make a plausable excuse this year and i was pretty anxious. Bringing my boyfriend over this year was surprisingly chill. They smoked their turkey and it was fantastic. I can barely stand my folks, but by God did I miss their cooking.

The boyfriend and I had an argument on thanksgiving that sent up big red flags. He’s been staying in his mother’s vacant house and hour and a half away for free trying to start a business out of the garage. He is also renting an apartment with me, and pays his half of the rent with money from his grandmother, which makes me uncomfortable because that means a stranger is supporting me as well. He also got me kicked out of my lovely cob in my intentional community by clashing with the token tyrant. He wasn’t entirely the instigator, but he also ignored my concerns about issues like bringing his dog.

Now I’m looking to buy a home to get out of this sketchy complex and he has all these criteria, but gets super hostile when I suggest he get a temporary part time job until he gets his business established to add just a few hundy to our monthly budget so we don’t have to struggle, even just ten to twenty hours a week. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable, but his reaction was that if he wasn’t allowed to focus exclusively on his business I was taking away his dream, and that I was basically calling him a loser.

I don’t appreciate being made into the bad guy, and I’ve been down down this road where a partner doesn’t step up and it the relationship sets me back at square one.

So tomorrow morning I’m going to check out another hobbit house the mountains that has stipulations that will prevent him from coming with me. I love him, but I don’t feel like he’s at a place in life where he’s emotionally or financially ready to be taking on this commitment. I feel like I’m at a crossroads where I can either accomodate this person for love, or pursue my personal idea of an idyllic life.
Wish me luck, and sorry for the ranty run-on sentences

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

@dreemr
No worries, you didn’t come across as blaming me. I’ll just have to wait for the right moment to try to discuss it.

@GenJones
Best of luck to you. That’s not a situation anyone would want to be in.

Shadowplay
Shadowplay
3 years ago

@Jenora

I know, right? Actually swore at the screen when I saw that (and checked to make sure there is no Z in laser).

Still, I expect very little from infowars – and thats exactly what we get. 😛

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

Double post

By “I’ll just have to wait for the right moment to try to discuss it.” I meant discussing it with my folks specifically. You all are greatly sympathetic and knowledgeable about the subject.

@No one

1.) The peaking of pro-feminist / anti-male sentiment in the United States
2.) The game-playing, awkward perviness of what Weinstein stands accused of
3.) The addition of known, sympathetic accusers (which other scandals lacked)
4.) The power of Twitter and the campaigns launched by the stars of Charmed

Yep, that sounds like the rational of a PUA site. First point about being an mra. Second point is them thinking that what weinstein did wasn’t wrong, it was just that he did a poor job. They are partially right about the last two points. Without social media this would have easily been put under by traditional media sources.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
3 years ago

re: deer hunting with handgun, it’s regarded as much the same as hunting with a bow or with a black powder rifle/musket. Just a different weapon for the same task. Two hundred yards is a damn long shot for any handgun, imo. The larger caliber cartridges, e.g. .44, .454, et. al. will have the range to make the shot, but not the stopping power to ensure that the animal is down if the shot is not in a vital point. That aside, the hunter was apparently hunting after sundown, which is not only illegal, but mind-numbingly dangerous… obviously.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
3 years ago

@GenJones

Good luck!

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
3 years ago

and, Nancy Pelosi punts on defending victims of sexual assault on Crapitol Hill….

shit, it makes my stomach turn, the way people in power defend their own. The behavior is wrong, regardless of the merits of the people engaging in it.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ genjones

Your post really struck a chord with me because the situation you describe tallies so much with something a friend went through.

Now it’s obviously not for me to suggest how you manage your own relationships, but maybe I can just mention a bit about her experience so you can see if it sounds familiar or at least have things to look out for.

In her case, hubby is a musician. Or at least wants to be. She had the same thing of effectively providing all the finances. When she suggested he might like to take a part time job to help out that was met with accusations of lack of support/belief in his talents. When he did finally get a job he blamed all his lack of success in becoming a big star on the fact she’d diverted him from his true calling and sabotaged his chances.

When he was in nice guy mode he’d say how his plans were best for both of them and how it would allow him to be the breadwinner. But generally he was just a moocher/dreamer who blamed every setback on her (selfishly) not supporting him.

I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t let him emotionally blackmail you; although you seem to have the situation pretty sussed anyway.

So I very much do wish you well, and really hope whatever you choose it all works out for you.

Robert Walker-Smith
Robert Walker-Smith
3 years ago

Regarding the fact that laser is an acronym: so is taser.
Tom Swift’s Electric Rifle. Jack Cover, the man who invented it, was a fan of the eponymous book series. He added the A because tser was hard to pronounce.

The characteristic prose style of the books also inspired the Tom Swifty.

Jesalin
Jesalin
3 years ago

@GenJones

Best of luck!

@Jenora

Gah. Laser isn’t just a word, it’s a bloody acronym: Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation. You can’t just change a letter.

This!^

dreemr
dreemr
3 years ago

@GenJones – I hope for the best outcome for you, however that plays out. I think I know what I’d do in that situation, and it sounds like you do, too.