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Happy Thanksgiving and/or Thursday! Open Thread

Happy Thanksgiving, to everyone who celebrates it! And a very merry Thursday to everyone who doesn’t.

Because I haven’t provided a health update in a while (outside of the comments) I just wanted to reassure everyone that I am still here, and still trying to sort through a bunch of medical issues with the help of assorted doctors, some very competent and others not so much.

The issues I’m facing aren’t lifethreatening, but they are still debilitating enough to keep me from regular posting here. Sorry to be so vague; I’ll offer more details once some of these issues are sorted out a bit more. I’ll return to posting as soon as I am able but I cannot predict when that will be.

I appreciate everyone’s patience and continued support. Thanks!

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Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

First!

While other Mammotheers were having fun with friends and family, I was paying attention.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

David, I’m sorry to hear that your health issues continue. I hope that you can return to regular posting soon — but only when you’re truly ready. All best wishes!

And my boyfriend, my girl kitty (the brainy half of the feminist government in exile), my boy kitty, and I wish all Mammotheers the best on this Thanksgiving (or fifth day in the week).

Tovius
Tovius
3 years ago

Happy Thanksgiving!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nkXGohB02V0

Hmm, looks like my comment didn’t go through. David, please delete this if it shows up twice.

FossilFishy
FossilFishy
3 years ago

Uh, it’s Friday. 😉

Happy happy, and merry merry to all, regardless of their timezone.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

Adding to the Thanksgiving merriment:

Actor Billy Baldwin says President Trump hit on his wife during party at upscale Manhattan hotel

Actor Billy Baldwin claims President Trump hit on his wife during a ritzy hotel party in Manhattan over two decades ago, blasting the commander-in-chief as a “black belt” sexual harasser.

Baldwin fired off the stark allegations on Thanksgiving morning in response to a tweet from Donald Trump Jr. about the latest sexual harassment allegations against beleaguered Democratic Sen. Al Franken.

“Your Dad is a 5th degree black belt when it comes to sexual impropriety allegations,” Baldwin tweeted at Trump Jr. “In fact…I once had a party at the Plaza Hotel…your father showed up uninvited & hit on my wife…invited her on his helicopter to Atlantic City.”

Iseult The Idle
Iseult The Idle
3 years ago

My furry master says to say: Happy Thanksgiving where applicable, and happy weekend to all!

David, please take care of yourself. We miss you, but we’re fine. Your health comes first.

Mea
Mea
3 years ago

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

We miss you David.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
3 years ago

Happy Thanksgiving/Thursday, everybody!

personalpest
personalpest
3 years ago

Take care of yourself David! We love WHTM, but your health comes first.

Lucrece
Lucrece
3 years ago

Happy Thursday! Except that it’s Friday here in Australia, and our Thursday consisted of the news that Milo Yiannopoulos has been invited to speak at a function in our federal Parliament House by libertarian Senator David Leyonhjelm.

I think it goes without saying we’re unenthused by this development.

Also, although we now have marriage equality, we don’t really have it yet because while the people have spoken, but the legislators are still arguing about it. And at least one MP thinks the equality of millions of LGBTIQ Australians isn’t as important as the less-than-forty people savaged by crocodiles each year. Because, you know, it’s just the vibe.

So, yeah, happy Thursday.

(PS. Glad you’re still alive David! I miss your regular posts, but your health is much more important. Unless there are crocodiles involved.)

dr. ej
dr. ej
3 years ago

Hello Mammotheers! Happy Thanksgiving (where applicable) and Happy Thursday (or Friday) everywhere else!

Just popping in to say I’m still lurking. Being a first semester teacher is tough so I haven’t had much time for posting lately. I love the job but it is exhausting.

I took advantage of my day off today to cook way too much food, including lemon rosemary turkey thighs and a pumpkin pie. It’s been nice to have a real day off. I usually end up working (or thinking about work) on weekends and I didn’t do that today. Between that and the good food it’s been a pretty good day.

Hippielady
Hippielady
3 years ago

I hope things get for you soon David. Take care of yourself. And Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate and a happy Thursday for those who do not.

PeeVee the (Tired of the Militant Plasticfaced) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Tired of the Militant Plasticfaced) Sarcastic
3 years ago

Happy Day, and hope you get better soon, David.

Z&T
Z&T
3 years ago

I think I had a pretty good day today 🙂

No (the ones I’m on civil terms with) relatives called to invite me to any TG thing. Nor did anyone call to wish me a happy holiday or to see how I’m doing (for those here who missed it, my mom passed away recently, 20 Oct.)

Because this is a big “family holiday” here in the US, it could remind me of missing mom. And some other relatives. I made a concerted effort to do other things. And, for several years we haven’t been doing big “family things” because my relatives are scattered all over, people are busy, and is it really necessary to make a big to do of this? Or, why not some other close day? Or why not go out to eat? A lot of people do.

A few years ago, mom was still making a turkey and all of it and I’d go over to her house and eat. This year I was going to do the cooking and bring it over to her, and it was going to be: Meat loaf! Yeah really, I found a recipe online that included oatmeal. I, mom, and past relatives remember it with the oatmeal.

So I found a recipe and made it a couple of times and brought it to mom. This can be relatively healthy too, if it’s prepared right (baked on rack to allow grease to drain off), and you have a reasonable portion of it plus lots of veggies. Those were to be roasted potatoes and carrots, and asparagus.

Mom loved this meatloaf so that’s what I was going to make.
And of course that didn’t happen…

I was thinking of making it for myself, but, did not want to get nostalgic or upset, – so I had a frozen pizza (Reggios) and beer (Bud Light.) (Haute Cuisine.) My friend has come over to hang out. She didn’t have anything to do either. Most of her relatives are also jerks. Or just busy and doing other things, it’s not all drama. I think we have to remind ourselves that real life is often a far cry from TV ads.

To not be missing passed relatives and friends, I decided to get busy and do somethings I haven’t had a chance at. Which was mostly fixing up all my plants. They were in crappy dry potting soil so I had got new for them, I decided to work on this today and am glad I did 🙂

They’re half done, I have 3 or 4 to go. I received a plant sympathy gift too, it was 3 little plants in a basket. These now have new homes with new fresh soil. I am glad I talked myself into doing this 🙂

Everything turned out great too, and it was kind of a… happy and positive thing to do. I am glad I did it. Oh and there was nice weather for once so I went and took a walk too.

Now we’re just relaxing and having a few, friend wanted to see the plants and “You still have that frozen pizza? I’ll bring the beer.”

Overall not a bad day and I’m glad I decided to get to work on the plants. Was the highlight of my day, really 🙂

Best TG wishes from we here too 🙂

Oh and here’s that meat loaf recipe if anyone is interested –

https://reallifedinner.com/classic-meatloaf-recipe-just-like-mom-used-to-make/

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

@Z&T
I haven’t posted anything to you in several days, but I’ve been thinking of you. If I understand correctly, that is the plural “you.”

My relatives have been absent from my life lately too, so I can empathize.

Losing your mother is quite a challenge — and then other challenges have popped up too. Luckily, you’re still able to see the happy side of life, which includes plants and friends.

Now that my mother is dead (it’s been a while), no relatives contact me on holidays. But I did just go downstairs and water the apartment building plants. I also added a flower essence to the water, which I believe keeps them perky. Another tenant and I share the watering on an informal basis.

And my bf and I also took a nice, long walk to a Pakistani restaurant, stuffed ourselves, and then took a nice, long walk back. As we do several times a week, we stopped in at a local liquor store to pet the store cat.

All best wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving, Z&T!

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

Hope you get well soon David. My thanksgiving dinner with family gone pretty smoothly. No awkward talks or anything, just a nice dinner with my family.

Z&T
Z&T
3 years ago

Thanks, Kat, it sounds like you had a nice day too 🙂

Regarding plants….

I’m not an expert at this by far, trying to improve, and yes plural we, I’m usually hanging out with various people or my usual bestie here,

And this is a tip I cam upon via her. This is the person, poison bug bites.

Bugs in plants? She came upon something regarding that, something with gnats (doesn’t remember), and how they may be in plants or soil, (or lay eggs in there) – but what you can do is water them with 1 part peroxide + 4 parts water. Does not harm most plants. The interested can research it further.

Potting soil. Who knew this was so complex? I found out the hard way, from buying cheap $2 bags at a grocery store’s “garden area”, – that was abject crap. Twice I got garbage like this, last spring I did this with a fresh bag, which turned out to be even worse!

So this time I went to Home Depot and got a $7 bag of proper potting soil, a bit more expensive but it’s a big enough bag. I’ve only used half so far.

I think the plants are already perking up!

Z&T
Z&T
3 years ago

Also, keep forgetting to say, GET WELL SOON DAVID! 🙂

Maybe I’m forgetting because I know you will be? 🙂

Another disturbing thing has popped up among my “relatives”, not the non asshole, or sorta asshole ones I am on at least speaking terms with,

This would be from my father’s side, and they have contacted me. Which they haven’t much before, either. In the case of these…. shiftless criminals, – they are likely looking for money.

The children of my father’s second wife. One of whom decided to write me from prison.

I do not associate with these people, never have, only know them vaguely, met the kids a few times, I do not consider these people “family”.

And how did they know that my mom died? My other friend, another Z, she’s has similar issues and she doesn’t know what to do either. She avoids her relatives that are “living in gated communities.”

These people are now writing to me and the attempted manipulation is blatant. One thing was along the lines of “The reality is, we are family…”

INCORRECT. My reality is whatever I choose it to be and I do not have to interact with anyone I choose not to interact with.

I’m not entirely sure what to do about this. I need to communicate to these people that I DO NOT wish to have ANYTHING to do with them, I’m not sure what to do with this.

I got this letter yesterday, from some relative in the can, how do they already know about this, is another thing that disturbs me.

I think I will need YET MORE legal help with this!

If anyone has any advice on this, I would greatly appreciate it. As I said, I know people in sim situations and they’re not sure what to do, either.

Trying to keep a positive attitude here and not let these things weigh on me. I tell myself, if you’re going back to the paperwork tomorrow, think about it then.

I do think I need some other perspectives on this so I thought I’d mention it.

Nequam
Nequam
3 years ago

My mom came up visiting this week– the first time she’s been able to since Dad’s death (the last year Dad was alive he needed too much care for them to visit). It was a little hectic, as Mom is a woman who has always liked to keep busy, but hey we now have a cleaner house and a fuller fridge. And I’m glad to see she’s doing okay.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
3 years ago

Z&T

I need to communicate to these people that I DO NOT wish to have ANYTHING to do with them, I’m not sure what to do with this.

What would you do if this communication was on-line or anything other than snail mail?

You’d block, de-list, reject, change your email, FB and phone settings, whatever it takes to ensure that any and all people you wanted to have nothing to do with had no way of getting to you. Your negative “communication” in these avenues consists of resolute stony silence.

You could try the old-fashioned ‘Return To Sender’ trick if you can recognise the sender from the envelope. (Maybe let a few go unanswered before doing that.) You don’t really know these people so you might not feel able to judge the best/ worst, good/ bad, least or most likely-to-succeed way of dealing with them.

Perhaps drop a line to Captain Awkward. I just had a quick look through the ‘death’ category and couldn’t see anything directly relevant to your issue. But CA and the commentariat can be quite helpful with all kinds of issues. Most importantly, what to do next if what you do (or refuse to do) doesn’t work the first time around.

Schnookums Von Ghostface Fancypants Killer
Schnookums Von Ghostface Fancypants Killer
3 years ago

@Z&T

Please don’t think I’m being flippant about this, and I apologize if I come off sounding like it, but my question is: is there any reason that you need to have any contact at all with these people? Silence can be a very clear indication that you don’t want any contact with them, with the added bonus of not having to deal with anxiety of trying to explain that you don’t want any contact at all (I suffer from a general anxiety disorder as well as some social anxiety as well, so that would be a plus for me). If they’re mailing you I’d not even open the letter, I’d mark it “Return To Sender.” and drop it right back into the mailbox. I’m not saying this will work for you but honestly that would be my initial reaction. I know for myself that I’m easy to sway with a sob story, so my defense to that is not even to let them get a foot in the door in the first place.

Otrame
Otrame
3 years ago

My younger son hosted his first TG meal. In the past they either ate ate mine or his mother in law’s. My elder son was here too. It all went well, and we had a nice Thanksgiving.

David, I hope your medical problems resolve themselves soon. We do miss you, but we’ll be fine until you are well enough to continue.

Shadowplay
Shadowplay
3 years ago

@Otrame

It’s a bit of a buzz, although in a slightly sad way, when they do things like that, isn’t it. 🙂

@Z&T

Don’t talk to them.
Simple as that. Put them out of your head. They have no claim on your time or attention.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
3 years ago

Relieved to see David still here ! Hope thoses issues will stop soon enough.

And good thankgivings to all americans.

Nothing is Permanent But Woe
Nothing is Permanent But Woe
3 years ago

Oi oi folks.

Hope you’re starting to get on the mend, David, and best wishes for Thanksgiving, which is a festival I have only ever experienced vicariously through American sitcoms (I like Boyle’s version the best!).

(I’m thankful it’s payday, and I’ve just discovered that River Song is going to team up with the Fifth Doctor to fight Madam Kovarian. Take THAT, continuity! Always nice to get exciting Who news on the show’s birthday.)

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

River Song is going to team up with the Fifth Doctor

And Tom Baker has filmed extra footage so we finally get to see Shada.

Happy Thanksgiving to all as appropriate; and wishing David a speedy recovery.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
3 years ago

Happy Friday, now, and very best health wishes to Mammotheers and especially to David.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

@Lucrece

And on top of the Milo visit & the lack of progress on marriage equality, the guys on Manus were forcibly moved this morning. They’re hurt and frightened but somehow hanging in there.
(I must admit that Katter’s weird twitchy “but wait – what about them crocodiles?” was darkly amusing).

Buuuuut, in the Giving of the Thanks type moment, there are still some good things on a personal level, at least. I have some great work over the next few months, including a project on Muslims in New Zealand that I’m doing research assistance on (for award-winning academic authors, no less, whoo hoo).

More importantly, I hope you’re all well and safe, and happy (or at least, coping).
David F. – continuing warm fuzzy wishes for your health. There’s no need to tell us any details at all, so don’t apologise on that front. Just focus on looking after yourself and the kittehs!

Dalillama: Irate Social Engineer

Went to family thanksgiving, where no members of my family got my pronouns right even once. Our guest ( who hasn’t seen me since a couple years before my transition) did, though…

Jesalin
Jesalin
3 years ago

Lovely, free side order of personal invalidation with every serving.

*hugs* if you want them.

Shadowplay
Shadowplay
3 years ago

@Dalillama

Urgh. Hug if you want it.

It’s not fucking rocket surgery! My understanding:
Use the pronouns people prefer.
If you don’t know or can’t remember, use they – it takes a week or so to get into the habit of subbing they for he/she in conversation.
Always use the identifier/name they prefer.
You get ONE use of the person’s old name if you knew them before – habit happens. After that, you’re taking the piss.

It’s not “being PC,” it’s fucking MANNERS!!!

Miss anything?

Ledasmom
Ledasmom
3 years ago

Just me and husband and younger son for Thanksgiving, and I managed to get the cooking started early enough that we didn’t eat too late. One small turkey, spatchcocked to cook faster (plus if you lay it on its back to start, you can shove herb butter under the breast skin and it doesn’t drip out; it all sits there and bastes the meat gloriously). Two stuffings: fruit for me and husband, potato for the kid. Purple sweet potatoes, baked. Roasted carrots. Broccoli with lemon butter. Smashed potatoes. Gravy. Pumpkin almond cheesecake, by the request of and with the help of son. Cranberry tart, because I wanted to (cranberry curd on the bottom, cranberry citrus conserve on top, decorated with candied oranges).
I went to rest after the meal but before dessert. Fell asleep (I blame the cat). Went back in kitchen to find husband still eating. Lay down again. Woke up again and finally managed to actually get the desserts out. Husband didn’t have room for dessert. Cranberry tart still entirely untouched in fridge.
Also, I fed the cat a couple pieces of turkey and then a piece of carrot, just to see if he would take it. He did, but then he also eats canned pumpkin. We say he’s keeping himself orange.

Jayne
Jayne
3 years ago

I’m Canadian, so I had thanksgiving back in October. 🙂 It was the first time in over a decade that Thanksgiving didn’t suck, though. Instead of going to the whole extended family get-together it was just me, my parents, and my sister. We went down to the lakeshore (fifteen minutes away) and took a walk with my parents’ dogs, then had a little picnic. The weather was beautiful, we ate pie, one of the dogs jumped into the lake and got soaked. No one criticized my clothing choices, asked me if I’m dating anyone yet, made fun of me for being vegetarian, or suggested I should have majored in something different at university. It was amazing.

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
3 years ago

@Jayne Definitely sounds wonderful. 😀

And many well wishes to you, Dave. <3

Miss Edgy Nation
Miss Edgy Nation
3 years ago

Happy Friday, all!

@David:
No need to apologize or fill us in on your problems (unless it makes you feel better).

@Z&T:
You are not in any way obligated to allow horrid people to take up your time or be a part of your life, even if they are related to you.

I have a half brother that I don’t really know who used to occasionally send strange, unpleasant letters. Sometimes from jail, sometimes not.

Responding to the first one was a mistake. After getting a few more, I started tossing them out unread. I haven’t gotten one in years. Problem solved!

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

@Dalillama

Urgh that’s just awful, hugs if you want ’em.

dreemr
dreemr
3 years ago

@David, please do get better soon. Not for us, but just so you feel better.

I’m not absolutely sure but I think around this time of year is when you usually do some fundraising – so if anyone has a few spare legal-tender-type-items, please do contribute them if you can. I’ve used PayPal very successfully to contribute to WHTM.

@nequam – my mother and I did not always get along but in her later years I did enjoy her visits, not least of all because she kept my house cleaner than I have ever been able to maintain working full time. It was also heavenly to have a fully cooked hot meal when I got home from work!

@Z&T and others who have fractured relationships with their family of origin, or who just dislike the whole hullabaloo of big family-type holidays, you just do whatever is healthy for YOU. I broke contact with my family many, many years ago and I have been the happier for it. I have a child but I don’t make a big deal out of holidays, I am much more content having just an extra day off that I can wear my pajamas and eat (if I feel like cooking) all day. Spend time with my son and my pets (although sometimes my son spends holidays with his father, which is just fine with me as I like my alone-time too). Sleep if I feel like it.

No one should feel miserable, under pressure and obligated to spend time with people who make them miserable. I get many invitations to spend holidays with various friends but I usually prefer to spend the day in my cozy home with unscheduled time to just do whatever.

This year I gave my son his Christmas/Birthday combo present on Thanksgiving (a new gaming computer) so he has been busy with that. We slept in until 10 am. I went over to a friend’s house at 11 to have him deep-fry our turkey because he always offers every year lol. I wouldn’t normally choose to make turkey but A) my boss gives me one every year, and B) making turkey means I can make turkey tetrazzini afterward and eat that for a week!

I made stove-top stuffing, gravy, and mashed potatoes, and broccoli. I had carrot cake I bought at our little hometown bakery the day before for dessert. The two of us feasted!

I went to lay down but my phone rang. I don’t get many calls but this was from my best friend back in my hometown, who is also “alone” on Thanksgiving. She said she was just going to DM me but decided to call, and we spent 2 hours on the phone just laughing our asses off.

My son set up his new fast computer and played online with some of his friends in the evening, and I binge-watched some old episodes of “Father Ted”. It was a good day and no ugly intra-familial wars or squabbles at all!

Happy Days everyone <3

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
3 years ago

@Dalillama: I’m so sorry about that. I hope the rest of your weekend is better.

Hu's On First
Hu's On First
3 years ago

Alex Jones appears to have violated a law against revenge porn, after Infowars posted a video showing a sitting Congressman masturbating:

https://lawandcrime.com/uncategorized/infowars-likely-just-violated-law-by-posting-rep-barton-masturbation-video/

Chris Oakley
Chris Oakley
3 years ago

My old high school football team won big yesterday and I had a nice long visit with Mom, so my Thanksgiving was awesome.

Also I’m the proud owner of a new lunch cooler.

Robert Walker-Smith
Robert Walker-Smith
3 years ago

Z&T – I have six siblings. My children have met two of them; there’s a third who they could meet, except that he lives in another state.

The other three – no. I don’t hate them, but there’s no reason for me to expose my kids to them. Consanguinity is not enough.

Keeping toxic relatives out of your life is self-care.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Keeping toxic relatives out of your life is self-care.

This. It’s something I wish my grandmother would heed.

One of my uncles died last night. We didn’t hear about it until today because that portion of the family is estranged from the rest of us.

The hopefully not too long and boring version of the story is that when my aunt died five years ago, her husband was already dead and she had no kids so her estate went to my grandmother. My uncle was the executor and started dragging his feet on getting her house sold and the money to my grandmother. We also think he let one of his kids, who I’ll call E take some my aunts things that had sentimental value to my other aunt. So my dad and aunt intervened and had the handling of the estate turned over to an attorney who got everything done quickly. My uncle’s family was almost certainly trying to get at that money, which is a considerable amount.

So, my uncle and his wife and all his kids but one got super duper pissed off about this and stopped speaking to everyone. The whole thing was primarily instigated by my cousin E who is really toxic and horrible and basically manipulated everyone else into hating the rest of us. I was never close to any of these people and never really liked them so I don’t give a shit if they aren’t around. But I give a whole lot of shits that every time my grandmother tried to call them and mend fences my uncles wife, or my asshole cousin E would yell at her and tell her how horrible she is.

A whole ‘nother round of shitstorm occurred earlier in the year when they somehow found out that my grandmother is leaving her house to my dad. It’s a townhouse. She lives on one side and we live on the other. He’s the one who takes care of her and the house every single day. So it makes sense that he should have it. But they’re all pissy because they probably wanted the house sold and my dad forced to move so they could get some cash. My uncle’s wife actually called her at 3 in the morning to yell at my grandmother about it.

So tonight, my grandma – who is 92 years old and although her mind is pretty sharp for her age she still doesn’t always make the best decisions anymore – makes the mistake of calling over there and E. answered. She yelled at her for not being at the hospital yesterday. Well, nobody fucking called her and told her he was dying in the hospital. So how was she supposed to go there when she didn’t even know? She’s also on oxygen and 92 years old so it’s not easy for her to go out for any length of time. Do they give a fuck about that? No they do not.

Sorry to go on longer than I meant to, but I’m really fucking mad about this. I wish she would just stop trying to reach out to them. My dad keeps trying to convince her to stop trying. Because they are verbally abusive to her every time. But family is really important to and she just won’t let go.

Z&T
Z&T
3 years ago

@ Weirwoodtreehugger,

I understand.

I was just ruminating about my relatives.

Yes, avoid the toxic ones as best you can.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

@wwth

Oof, that’s awful. Especially seeing someone you care about get continually abused and hurt.

Re toxic relatives – it’s easier to cut someone off (as in slightly less horrible) when they’ve been awful the whole time. I’ve had to do that. But lately I’ve had to consider cutting off my half-sister, which is a whole different issue because we’ve been very close for most of our lives.

For about a year now she’s been a completely different person, and so full of rage. She insists that my brother wrecked our lives by going to prison (he went in 30 years ago, been out for some time now – so why the sudden fury?). She accuses our mum of favouring him, and covering for him, enabling him, etc. etc. Recently she subjected mum to a full-blown tirade that lasted 90 minutes (mum is 71 and not super healthy). She also threatened to call the parole board and tell them stuff about my brother – which would get him put back in jail.
So that’s the point at which I thought of cutting her off, maybe even just temporarily. Anyone else, I wouldn’t even think twice. But this is my sister that I grew up with, that I used to sing Nick Cave songs with.
As Foul Ole Ron would say, “Bugrit, millennium hand and shrimp!”

eibhear
eibhear
3 years ago

Welcome back, David. Get well soon!

Shadowplay
Shadowplay
3 years ago

Report from the archives … 😛

Remember Candace Owens and Social Autopsy? I got curious about what she’s up to now and if she ever worked out why doxxing “bullies” might be a bad idea. Or if she melted down off the face of the planet.

She’s a full on red pill Trumpster fire now. Not a surprise – other than her 15 minutes seems to have lasted a bit longer than 15 minutes. 😛

poglodyte
poglodyte
3 years ago

Welcome back, David, and i hope you feel better soon!

I don’t comment here much, but I’m feeling really messed up and this commentariat is a great source of support for me; even just reading your lovely messages of support to each other often reaffirms my faith that humanity can be good and kind and accepting if we try.

I’m just having a very lonely Thanksgiving. I’m spending it with my dad and stepmom, but we don’t talk very much, disagree on nearly everything important, and it’s been three days of nothing but perfunctory conversation and silence. We ate Thanksgiving dinner at their country club (blech), where the 95% white crowd was served by 90% POC servers (the other 10% were pretty young white women, I’m guessing chosen for their pretty youngness). There’s a reason we don’t stay in touch.

I got divorced a few months ago, and these family trips were always bearable because my ex-wife and I could decompress, analyze, and vent about the day’s injustices (both of our families are of the Evangelical “we love you as long as you’re not queer, trans, black, or Democrat” variety), but now she’s gone and it’s just me, and I’m missing my best friend.

On top of that, I’m giving up on writing fiction despite being over 100k in debt from an MFA that I hardly remember taking because I was stoned and fighting depression during the whole thing, and every time I try to read a book I just feel jealous and sad because I know I’ll never be able to write like that, and I doubt I ever could in the first place.

I know other people have it so much worse than me. I’m white, cis, male, have a decent job and a place to live. My family hasn’t disowned me, they just don’t want to know anything real about me. My problems feel small and petty and stupid compared to people who have real ones, like family members dying and being dead named constantly or facing systemic oppression, which in turn makes me feel small and petty and stupid for complaining.

Sorry to detail, I just kind of wanted to vent and I know y’all are some wonderful people. Thanks for listening.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

1 end of year, family get together holiday down. 2 to go. Making my New Year’s resolution early: a 2018 without the fam for ‘the holidays’ (nor Memorial Day. I coulda had a heart attack, assholes!)

*hugs* to those whose ‘holidays’ are less than picturesque <3

Shadowplay
Shadowplay
3 years ago

@poglodyte

Don’t have much to say except I hear you. Sounds rough.

Well – do got one thing to say 😛 :

Problems are just that – problems. There’s no absolute scale of magnitude to compare them to each other. If you are hurting then you are hurting, simple as, and you should respect that. Not wallow in it – and you’re not – but the hurt does exist and will have an effect on you for a time.

“But,” you say, “I’ve got a mere splinter while others have gunshots. I feel silly for complaining.”

Don’t, eh? Everyone can see gunshots. They can’t see splinters unless you show them. Or until they become infected.

Best to you.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Poglodyte,

You don’t have to win the Oppression Olympics to feel down. Divorce is a major stressor, as are the holidays if you don’t have the perfect relationship with your family. Hugs and feel free to vent here when you need to.

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