By David Futrelle
It’s a rarity in this year of terrible, but tonight has been a night of actual good news! Dems are winning elections, and Reddit has banned the toxic cesspool known as the Incels subreddit! Celebrate while you can in this open thread!
No trolls. Fuck trolls.
This is the first time a wall of news notifications hasn't been a nightmare in god knows how long pic.twitter.com/NpTaW5QK6e
— Ashley Feinberg (ashleyfeinberg.bsky.social) (@ashleyfeinberg) November 8, 2017
Dems have won all three of the marquee off-year races — NJGov, VAGov, NYC Mayor — for the first time since 1989.
— David Weigel (@daveweigel) November 8, 2017
Democrats decimated Republicans across the country tonight, at every level and in every branch of state government.
— Seth Abramson (@SethAbramson) November 8, 2017
Thanks, Trump!
And this is the icing on the cake:
Trans woman Danica Roem (D) just defeated anti-LGBTQ candidate Bob Marshall (R) in Virginia, becoming the first trans state legislator in America.
— Laura Bassett (@LEBassett) November 8, 2017
The man who wrote the anti-trans bathroom bill just lost the election to a trans woman. Let that sink in. https://t.co/KFEZXSYvMy
— Laura Bassett (@LEBassett) November 8, 2017
Oh, and there’s this:
Jeff Sessions' DOJ Drops Prosecution Of Woman Who Laughed At Jeff Sessions https://t.co/slOPOhmLYN pic.twitter.com/ekRsU1RJAq
— Curt and Frank 🏳️🌈 (@curtandfrank) November 7, 2017
Let’s all celebrate by laughing at Jeff Sessions!
Meanwhile, on Reddit:
Reddit has banned the Incels subreddit. About fucking time; it was a cesspool of misogyny and violent hate. pic.twitter.com/8RieXtxZLN
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) November 8, 2017
HEALTH NOTE: Though cheered by tonight’s news, I’m still dealing with a shitstorm of health issues. I will return to regular posting as soon as I can, but I’m not sure when that will be. Thanks again for your patience and your support!
@Mish
I’ve been keeping my cats strictly indoors for years now, after many years of letting them go in and out as they pleased, and I don’t regret it one bit. There are just so many horrible things that can happen to a cat out there.
I try not to be lecture-y about it to others, but that gets harder as time goes on. My time working at an avian rescue/rehab clinic made me feel substantially more aggressive about it; so many little birds brought in with cat bites, and nearly every single one of them succumbs to sepsis because of the bacteria in cats’ mouths. There’s rarely anything to be done for them but keep them safe and comfortable until they die, even if their wounds seemed small. A single puncture usually spells death. I don’t have a whole lot of patience for cat owners who get defensive and self-righteous about the whole thing.
I still adore cats, of course – unfortunately a lot of other wildlife biologists and ornithologists are quite bitter and resentful about them. =P
Well, it looks like Teddy Beale has been suspended from Twitter again, although I don’t know why. Nor do I care.
A sex therapist looks at why men masturbate in front of women who don’t want to watch:
http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2017/11/09/a_sex_therapist_on_why_some_men_force_women_to_watch_them_masturbate.html
Not sure about the ‘masterbaters are getting back at their mothers for failing to protect them from abuse’ part, but the rest seems interesting.
I know that many of you had named many of the women who had participate to computer and computer science creation and development throught the ages, but i can not remember if this woman had been already mentioned. In the case she was not, here is an article about Joyce Weisbecker, another example to use against people who think that women can not do computer (or science in general) and/or games.
In lighter news: crabs going their own way.
I have a similar story as some of the others here. In high school my mind got sluggish, I had unexplained low-level pain in my entire body, and I suddenly needed more sleep than reasonable. I wanted to sleep all the time. I woke up with headaches every morning and getting out of bed felt like my ankles were broken. Every night after school I just wanted to sleep, which meant I could never finish my homework and just kept falling farther and farther behind. I was in a three year high school program but dropped out in my third year. The following year I repeated third year and got terrible grades, along with one fail that I had to retake the next year. In total, it took me five years to graduate from a three year program. My teachers called me lazy and unwilling to work.
I was 21 when I finally left high school for good. At that time I was dating a woman who had been my friend in school. She wanted to travel the world and do fun things that cost money. I got a job at the factory where my dad worked. I would work 12 hour days in hard boots on a cement floor. At coffee breaks I went to the bathroom stalls, took my shoes of and cried from pain. After a few months I was laid off. My contract was terminated two weeks ahead of schedule. With terrible grades and non-stellar work experience, I couldn’t find another job. I didn’t want to put my previous employer as a reference since they essentially had fired me. I never made any money to do all those fun things with that woman. She called me lazy and unwilling to work.
Instead I went to university and studied something that actually interested me. I had a strong start, aced all my exams, my body was feeling better, I lost weight, made friends. I walked 20 minutes to class every day, and every day my feet would start hurting a little bit more, and a little bit more. After a year or so, I started taking the bus to class. When I couldn’t stand for extended periods of times in the kitchen, I started eating crap food. I gained weight again. Eventually I stopped going to class at all. My professors called me lazy and unwilling to work.
After I dropped out of university, I moved back in with my parents. I had already met my future wife at that point, and we moved in together in a small apartment in my parents’ town. I got part time work as a substitute teacher, but could never find anything more stable or better paid. We were still feeling the recession, but even so I deliberately avoided job ads for physical work since I knew I couldn’t handle it. I spent a lot of time on the couch. My wife didn’t say it, but I knew. I was lazy and unwilling to work.
I started seeing doctors for my increasing pain and fatigue. They ran tests, drew blood, x-rayed, squeezed, kneaded and prodded. They discovered that I was fat and should do more exercise. But I was lazy and unwilling to work.
Eventually I lost even my part time work, and I went back to university to finish my degree. I started out strong again, aced all my exams, lost weight, had fun, made friends. But my campus was a hilly place. I had to walk up slopes and down slopes, up stairs and down stairs. Some days, my feet couldn’t handle it so I stayed home. Some days, my swollen and twisted fingers couldn’t button my pants and shirt, so I stayed home. At first it was once a week, then twice a week, then whole weeks, then a whole semester, and then I had dropped out again. No big deal, and no big surprise. I already knew I was lazy and unwilling to work.
I was 30 years old when I got diagnosed with arthritis accompanied by depression. I was put on medication and my fingers shrunk to almost normal size. My feet, while still pained, worked decently once warmed up. My knees felt fine. My neck and shoulders didn’t keep me up at night anymore. But I was 30, with a wasted decade and a half behind me. I had no work experience to speak of, no higher education to speak of, terrible high school grades, no references, no network, no money.
When someone tells me I’m lazy and unwilling to work, my spontaneous reaction is yes, I know. I’ve known that since I was 15. Many people have noticed, and many of them tried to change my behavior by telling me how lazy and unwilling to work I was. But none of that made me any less lazy and unwilling to work.
Is Derek Rake the new Roosh? He’s been promoting his “Shogun Method”, which claims that seduction is not enough: the real goal should be total ENSLAVEMENT.
@Shadowplay,
… I really wouldn’t do that 😀
Seriously though,
Absolutely – and that’s one reason I found the book interesting, but I’m also quite ambivalent about it. I love that the author is a self-confessed bitter introvert with an inferiority complex; it gives the whole investigation a great frame.
I also recently found out that Storr received an award from Amnesty for his work on male victims of sexual violence – impressive!
tl;dr – your comment has given me fresh thought re why this book has preoccupied me so much 🙂
@freneticferret,
Ah, those poor birds! Seeing them suffer like that must be awful, and would really underscore the need to keep kittehs away. I’m with you 100% 🙂
*quick whinge* recently someone on Facebook declared how much she hated cats because of their impact on wildlife (on my Discworld fan site, no less – the nerve!). But when some of us noted that we kept ours indoors, she said “You can’t do that! You’re going against nature!”
@Imaginary Petal,
That’s just heartbreaking.
I has no words, except that I fully understand the awful feeling of wasted years. I hope life is treating you better now, as you so deserve it <3
… um, I think humans actually invented the domestic* cat…
* as all cat people know, the question of “who has domesticated whom” in the relationship between cats and humans… is open to debate
I think we have a few librarian Mammotheers…
https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/protect-your-library-the-medieval-way-with-horrifying-book-curses
@IP
To echo Mish, that is heartbreaking!
One thing about this that really pisses me off is that few ever seem to bother asking the “lazy” person just what is getting in the way, or bothering to believe them if they do ask.
If someone goes from being a good student to suddenly being able to get their work done, it doesn’t take divine bloody insight to tell that something has happened. People generally don’t go from active to “lazy” on a whim. There is almost always a problem.
In my case I went from being a super-energetic bounce out of bed full of energy and ready to get the day started kid, to having next to no energy and feeling permanently drained. Without bothering to ask any questions my mother came up with her own diagnosis, sudden onset laziness.
@Mish
<3
@Jesalin
Sudden Onset Laziness = SOL = Shit Out of Luck
Coincidence?
@IP
I think not.
@Mish
I wouldn’t disagree with that thesis, but I’d certainly qualify it. The affirmation that is received is for conformity and I’d still argue that it requires a certain marketability. Speaking for myself, I’m incredibly camera shy. Just to relate a story from my summer vacation in Nova Scotia, when I was at Peggy’s Cove, my father had to talk me into posing next to the lighthouse for a photograph. Meanwhile, a couple with a death wish were on the black rocks which are repeatedly labeled “FOR THE LOVE OF SIDNEY CROSBY DON’T STAND HERE!!!” just taking selfie after selfie of them kissing. It really had me wondering “Who is it that’s actually interested in seeing these two Darwin Award nominees with a famous lighthouse in the background?” So pretty much all but 7 of the 7000 photographs I took in Nova Scotia actually have me in them. Because I don’t feel like I’m interesting enough to be the story. I’m just a tourist like everyone else. The ocean, the buildings, the history, the locals, they’re the story, not some tool from Toronto.
I don’t self-aggrandize because I’m anxious and full of doubt in my own abilities, and definitely to my detriment. Whenever I post my artwork, I’m pretty much grateful for any comments and Favourites I can get. I’m still scared to post finished work and even my stories I keep close to the chest despite being pretty proud of them, cuz they’re kinda weird and niche (and they can get pretty dark). But the handful of kudos I do get for my creative stuff would mean a lot more than a Facebook like for some shot of my face in front of something famous.
I think it goes back to that old Bertrand Russell quote:
@Hambeast
I’m hoping to get it changed at some point although, as with everything else I need, that hope essentially hinges on winning the lottery.
Neither strong nor beautiful are terms I’m used to seeing in relation to myself. I’m probably just more stubborn or just plain scared than strong though. It hurts to keep going, but stopping hurts more, and I’m very averse to pain.
Thanks though 🙂
@POM
“Some people need a boot in the ass to get off the couch, and that’s just a fact.”
Been thinking about this, and I think the problem is that you’re making a false equivalence, and wording things poorly to boot. “Punishing” people is terrible for all the reasons others said, but your suggestion of giving food and shelter to people doesn’t seem punishing, so maybe “punish” is the wrong word?
I think we can all agree that there’s a gray area between punishing someone and enabling them. I said it before and I’ll say it again; you once called me on my shit, and it helped me. I’m not saying this to ass kiss you, because I’m pretty sure there’s no love lost between us-at least on your end, but because it’s true. Patting me on the head, and telling me “poor crazy mrex”, wouldn’t have helped anyone. Enabling your ex to live a parasitic lifestyle forever wouldn’t have helped anyone. Enabling my ex that was using drugs to go along merrily while I suffered the consequences of his actions, wouldn’t have helped anyone.
Thing is, these are all examples of people who are more or less equal in power.* Me, you, our ex’s, none of us have the power differential that occurs between the government and a citizen. To compare the situation between you and your ex to the situation between the government and it’s citizen is rediculious.
*And even in situations where the power differential is smaller than government/citizen, things get controversial. For example, there’s a couple of beggars in my area that are known junkies. (Not an assumption, it’s not hidden). I’ll give them food or buy things for them, but I rarely give them money because I don’t want to buy their drugs for them. But, then on the other hand, I’ve seen debates where people who give goods but refuse to give money get slammed. Somewhat rightfully, because just because a person’s begging doesn’t mean they need food and not tampons, but there’s also this argument that people who try to prevent the money from being spent on drugs by giving goods instead of money are being judgy assholes that are lording their power over the homeless, and if a homeless person want’s to spend the $10 thrown thier way on beer or herion instead of a hot meal then that should be their prerogative.
Dunno, what is abusive “punishing”? What is “giving someone a needed boot to get their ass in line”? What is “enabling”? I suspect that this may be an issue that has no single correct answer.
@Gussie Jives
” Whenever I post my artwork,”
Hey, now I have to ask, did you draw your avatar? It’s amazing. 🙂
Jesalin
A lot of us are like that, me included!
Of course, I’ve never seen you, nor you me; so I’m going on what I read of you here. You’re smart, funny and caring and that’s beautiful. Never underestimate that. I have no idea how much dead weight you can lift, but you’ve channeled your stubbornness into perseverance and carried on through pain and if that’s not strong, then I don’t know what is.
There are so many people here that I admire. You’re one of them.
ETA – correction of a typo
Mrex,
Gussie’s avatar is part of the cover from Kansas’ compilation “The Best Of Kansas” album.
Reread my post and realized that I need An addition to my above post;
None of this should be read to say that it’s OK to shame the mentally ill. Shaming people, and making assumptions of what they are and are not capable of, is never OK, and never helpful.
Like many of you, I suffer from mental illness, and like many of you, that mental illness has trashed my ability to work and live my life, and like many of you I’ve been shamed for it, and like many of you, it’s just made things worse.
I think that what I’m trying to say is that there’s a difference between “shaming” someone and “calling them on their shit”. It may not always be a clear difference, but it’s a difference that’s there. 🙂
ETA
@PV;
Ah I see. Well, I’ve always thought it was cool either way. 🙂
@Jesalin
Sort of the definition of strong, right there … 🙂
Hambeast has it right. 😛
Oh FFS: Alabama GOP lawmaker: Roy Moore accusers should be prosecuted for not coming forward sooner:
If you know anyone in Alabama who votes Republican, let them know they’re culpable in this shit.
@Moggie
I don’t have anything eloquent to say except that I really, really hate republicans. Their individual and collective response to Roy Moore is not surprising but it is despicable and sickening nonethless.
This:
Just makes me furious.
Mrex, very cool. Kansas’ album cover art always was.