By David Futrelle
It’s a rarity in this year of terrible, but tonight has been a night of actual good news! Dems are winning elections, and Reddit has banned the toxic cesspool known as the Incels subreddit! Celebrate while you can in this open thread!
No trolls. Fuck trolls.
This is the first time a wall of news notifications hasn't been a nightmare in god knows how long pic.twitter.com/NpTaW5QK6e
— Ashley Feinberg (ashleyfeinberg.bsky.social) (@ashleyfeinberg) November 8, 2017
Dems have won all three of the marquee off-year races — NJGov, VAGov, NYC Mayor — for the first time since 1989.
— David Weigel (@daveweigel) November 8, 2017
Democrats decimated Republicans across the country tonight, at every level and in every branch of state government.
— Seth Abramson (@SethAbramson) November 8, 2017
Thanks, Trump!
And this is the icing on the cake:
Trans woman Danica Roem (D) just defeated anti-LGBTQ candidate Bob Marshall (R) in Virginia, becoming the first trans state legislator in America.
— Laura Bassett (@LEBassett) November 8, 2017
The man who wrote the anti-trans bathroom bill just lost the election to a trans woman. Let that sink in. https://t.co/KFEZXSYvMy
— Laura Bassett (@LEBassett) November 8, 2017
Oh, and there’s this:
Jeff Sessions' DOJ Drops Prosecution Of Woman Who Laughed At Jeff Sessions https://t.co/slOPOhmLYN pic.twitter.com/ekRsU1RJAq
— Curt and Frank 🏳️🌈 (@curtandfrank) November 7, 2017
Let’s all celebrate by laughing at Jeff Sessions!
Meanwhile, on Reddit:
Reddit has banned the Incels subreddit. About fucking time; it was a cesspool of misogyny and violent hate. pic.twitter.com/8RieXtxZLN
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) November 8, 2017
HEALTH NOTE: Though cheered by tonight’s news, I’m still dealing with a shitstorm of health issues. I will return to regular posting as soon as I can, but I’m not sure when that will be. Thanks again for your patience and your support!
The only thing missing is the guys surreptitiously elbowing each other in the ribs and going “heh, heh, heh…”
The killing net neutrality thing seems like such a bad political move to me. So many people, especially young people don’t pay too much attention. They buy into the idea that all the politicians are the same and it doesn’t matter who win. People feel removed from what goes on in Washington a lot of the time. Then there’s the people who still think Republicans are for the middle class and small businesses.
Well, young people live on the internet. Most small and medium businesses these days have websites and a social media presence and use the internet for business. Killing net neutrality is not the kind of thing that people can ignore as a thing that doesn’t affect them at all.
If the Dems unify for keeping net neutrality and Trump’s FCC kills it, they have a sure fire thing to campaign on for the 2018 and 2020 election cycles. The kind of thing that might actually get younger people to the polls and get small business owners to change their allegiance.
Maybe I’m being too optimistic about this. But even though you can tie Reaganomics to the slow death of the middle class, it’s complicated and in a lot of ways indirect. Unlike one rule change that will suddenly make life more difficult and costly for nearly everyone and can be simply and directly tied right to the Trump administration and by association the Republican party.
Does anyone know if the FCC does kill net neutrality whether congress has the power to pass a bill reinstating it? I really hope there’s something to be done sooner than Trump leaving office and a new head of the FCC to come in.
@Slightly annoyed (and everyone else),
Yes, I am still alive. I am dealing with an assortment of medical issues that are still in the process of being sorted out, and I am doing everything I can to sort them out — indeed, in the first two weeks of this month I had a total of 10 medical tests/doctors visits.
The issues I’m facing aren’t lifethreatening, as least as far as the doctors can tell at the moment, but they are currently very debilitating. The issue has been complicated somewhat by bureaucratic fuckups that have delayed treatment on several of my issues and by the fact that two of the specialists I’ve seen have been, well, kind of shitty.
I am hopeful that the most debilitating issue can be dealt with but so far there have been complications in treating it.
I am sorry to be so vague; I will offer more details once some of these issues are sorted out a bit more. I’ll return to posting as soon as I am able but I cannot predict when that will be.
I appreciate everyone’s patience and continued support. Thanks!
EDIT: Get well soon, David. Also, don’t feel like you have to share personal medical info over the Internet. No worries! Just focus on your wellbeing.
—-
What someone elsewhere said is yes, they can definitely change it back later (though not anytime soon since the GOP is going against their own constituents on this issue), but the resulting price hikes from businesses like Netflix will almost certainly not go back down.
(I also seem to recall our corporate overlords wanting to ensure we can’t vote it back, like how the legislature in Oklahoma passed a law – the same day after a geological survey concluded all those earthquakes were highly probably caused by fracking – denying the people any right to vote on fracking, which is a thing I do didnt know a part of the US government could legally do).
Anyone wanna give me some free legal / financial advice?
Wow do I have a mess on my hands! 🙁
I have inherited some money. Not a whole lot. A “small estate” in US legalese. I guess. It might be just over the line where it has to go through the court system.
I just called the lawyer handling the estate, he hasn’t even really touched this much and it’s been a month!
Meanwhile, I have a big mess here. I was down to part time work because I was helping my mom, and also business is slow. And really slow in the winter.
Well that will be resolved eventually and I will muddle through somehow.
The problem I presently have is – now the student loan people are after me! Well the gov has some of it’s databases merged, that’s for sure. Try arguing a speeding or parking or camera ticket. Oh, that’s not your car in the picture? Yes I can see that’s a commercial box truck and your car is three behind it and a small sedan. But, this isn’t the photo department and now you owe us $1,000. And by talking to us – you acknowledge this debt.
There is no help for you. Oh but they seem to find out fast if you’ll be getting any money….
Yes I am in default on student loans. I just couldn’t pay it, not enough money. Not a deadbeat and I do want to pay!
I called my mom’s attorney, he doesn’t know. He hasn’t even touched any of it yet! WTF? These people are so slow paced and no one knows anything, it’s a nightmare!
So. I have these old student loans that I do need to pay off. I do dispute the amount though, it seems this has gone back and forth through collectors who added on money – and one of them – never sent me ONE piece of paperwork or called me. They did NO work to collect this, and I do feel that’s a rip off and they did in fact rip off the US gov / student loan people, because they did nothing.
And supposedly the US gov “recalled” these old loans, I got a letter about that, I called them, now it’s at another collector.
It makes no sense. All of this is such a MESS! And it’s so confusing and I don’t know what to do! Everyone I call, – THEY DON’T KNOW EITHER! WTF?
But forgetting the extenuating circumstances. Wait, I called my mom’s atty about this, he doesn’t know, the guy is kind of a jerk. “I don’t do that.” “This has what to do with your mom’s estate?” Well it can possibly be an issue if that has to go to court, and this winds up in the court system, it could be all hung up for eternity!
Like her one bank account with some auto pays on there. Which I got off. The one has been an issue because it’s, stop this, no do that, no tell the bank to reverse that and we’ll give you a check, and round and round it goes, the same $500, in, out, in, out, no you tell the bank to back it out, we’ll give you checks, and round and round it goes, and all of these people are pissed at me for trying to fix it! And then there are of course all kinds of bounced check charges. I didn’t even touch this bank account and it’s fucking itself up, all by itself!
Try to fix it, everyone looks at you like you’re trying to pull some kind of scam on them.
I don’t know what to do with these old student loans. No one else seems to, either.
And forgetting all other issues, I would just like to pay this off and move on. What might they take as a flat payment? You can negotiate it down. It has to have been bought and sold a lot. If it’s 36K the collector probably bought it for a lot less, it’s around 8, 10 years old.
(I was also assuming that this had somehow been “written off”. I have not gotten any communication on this, from the fed student loan people, or any collector, for years.)
Should I try to find some kind of credit counselor, or try to deal with these people myself?
I don’t know what to do with all this. Everything is such a mess! 🙁 I tried to put some bank accounts online, or open your online account so you can see it there, this is not working either as there are old phone numbers attached, which are no longer in service, and you can’t get a text at that anyway, well send me an email, they didn’t want to talk to me because I’m not the primary person on the account, this is such a fucked up mess and I have NO idea what to do with it all.
I’m actually getting seriously depressed over this, I’m not kidding 🙁
Which may be an extreme reaction, but it’s all just so hard and I don’t understand it and no one else seems to either, and when I try to fix things they just get worse 🙁
I can relate this to sexism, too. I can’t believe how inept people are. I dunno, I dunno, I dunno. Any job I’ve ever had – you had better know it all backward and forward. Especially if you’re a woman in a traditionally male line of work. In my case, engineering. You had damn well better know how to build everything from a rocket ship to an energy plant, and probably how the toilets work at the office, and all the part numbers there of. And the paperwork involved. AND DO IT NOW!!!
Why doesn’t anyone know anything? What am I supposed to do?
Everything is all fucked up, it’s all this mess, I have somehow made it worse, and I have NO idea how to proceed here…
🙁
Any advice appreciated,
– Z
Thanks for checking in, David. I’m sorry you got some shitty specialists. Let us know if we can help.
@ David,
The bureaucracy!
We hear ya. My friend has brought over drinks because I’m so upset over all the paperwork. I am literally turning into a drunk over this!
And she is turning into a drunk too, from being sick, cannot afford a doc, and still has issues from poison bug bites. This has been going on since early August.
You try to self repair. Health or money or your car or computer. And there’s little help……
Tara says, she’s trying to remember, I remember too, this is the ULTIMATE in bureaucracy!
This other girl Z. Another Z. We all have the same names of our era, I know an inordinate amount of girls named Lana also. So this girl was really sick, no it was some kind of accident, and she had to diy the health and keep – the operation areas clean – is how I will say, because you probably don’t want to know what T is repeating here.
And for such diy care, you need “sterilized water”. Which can be obtained at a pharmacy. And you need a prescription for it.
For sterilized water.
WTF?
That ‘baby water’ is not the same thing either, but probably close, and you can buy that OTC. T says what this girl did is just boil water herself.
I don’t know, I might be panicky. But you could get that baby water and then boil that and that’d probably be OK.
You need a prescription for sterilized water?
This just astounded me.
Feel better soon David! 🙂
I’m sorry things are still going crappy for you, David. I hope it gets better soon.
@Z&T
https://www.nerdwallet.com/blog/loans/student-loans/hire-student-loan-lawyer/
Lawyers have strict areas that they work in. But, your estate lawyer should be able to refer you to a lawyer that can help. Or, worse comes to worse, look up bankruptcy lawyers in the phone book, as they may be familiar with who can help.
Main thing is, make sure that whoever you pay actually owns your loan. Zombie debt is unfortunately a thing.
“Try to fix it, everyone looks at you like you’re trying to pull some kind of scam on them.”
Yeah, well good reasons or bad reasons, it’s your fuck up that put you in this situation, so expect that people will side-eye you. Remain firm, keep repeating your commitment to pay what you owe, and try your best to let the rest roll off your back.
@Z&T
“poison bug bites.”
What are poison bug bites? 🙂
I ask, because if this is still going on from August, I would start to suspect that it may actually have moved on to something more like eczema or hives, or maybe a skin infection. (Which is common thing to get with any skin condition)!
Does she see these poison bugs? Mind if I ask you where you live?
David, wishing you goodest health possible as soon as possible – and sorry you are having to put up with so much shit 🙁
And sorry about that legal-financial morass, Z&T :-(((( I hope you can get some guidance to help you find your way out of the mess (frightens me just to think about it. Non-neurotypical Youngest is going to need so much help keeping track of student loan paperwork it scares me. And what if I die before their loan end date …)
@ mrex,
I get your thoughts here, but I would not necessarily call myself a fuck up, I just didn’t have the money, and – I am trying to straighten this out.
And – no one seems to want to take my money or set up any payment plan or, – no one seems to even know who I should talk to.
And I am trying to give them money, get this straightened out.
No one seems to know what to do about this. And I want to give them money.
Whether I’m a fuck up or not is debatable, I am trying to straighten this all out.
Also it’s not MY fuck up that got me here, I went back and looked at your comment here, MR, and I have been on here enough lately talking about personal issues, so you probably have seen what I said recently –
My mom died 🙁
A lot of these finances are hers, and she “did my bills”. She handled my money. Accountant. There was some – forbearance, or something, on these loans, I don’t understand these things, she handled that.
I am not a deadbeat or a a fuck up 🙁
I am literally crying here 🙁
Missed the edit;
@Z&T
I ask, because it sounds like her house is infested and she’s still getting bit, or maybe it’s actually something that only resembles bug bites, or maybe it’s something else that she can’t see. Just trying to figure out what you mean. 🙂
@Weird Eddie
“This
on the other hand, would SURELY be ok with the good sheriff…”
I don’t know what you mean by this. Is there a link or a picture missing? 🙂
ETA:
I am not a deadbeat or a a fuck up ?
No you’re not. What I meant by that is… everyone fucks up. Doest MAKE you a fuck up. Expect that people won’t know that you mean to do good on your debt, and try to let their shit roll off your back, because you know that you mean to do good. 🙂
@ Z&T
Sorry to hear about your woes. Probate and student loans are like a perfect storm of frustration; I’m not surprised you’re upset.
FWIW, in practical terms I’d say definitely seek expert help with the loan; don’t try to deal yourself. It’s just too draining and a loan counsellor will have the experience and expertise you need for dealing and negotiating with whoever holds the debt right now.
As for the estate, who’s the executor? Is it your mum’s lawyer or someone else? As a beneficiary you’re in a weird position. The executor’s technical duty is to the administration of the estate, so whilst they must ensure the legacies are distributed in accordance with any will, they’re not actually ‘your’ lawyer as such. However it’s worth writing to them and asking them to give you a provisional time scale as to when probate will be completed, and what steps are necessary. That could also inform your dealings with your creditors. (if you can tell l them ‘i should be in receipt of $X by end of February’ then that can feed into the negotiations. However, you may though wish to be a bit candid in your dealings. If you tell them “I’m getting $X” they may well go “Brilliant, we’ll have all that then”. So this is something better handled by an expert third party. They can advise you and insulate you.
Wish I could have more positive help, but these situations are notoriously frustrating. All i can say is get some help, and make sure you take care of yourself whilst matters resolve themselves.
David, please get better soon.?
Z&T, all the hugs you can bear from a rando netizen. And listen to Alan. He knows what he’s talking about.
“…she “did my bills”. She handled my money. Accountant. There was some – forbearance, or something, on these loans, I don’t understand these things, she handled that.”
Yeah, I remember that your mom died. I’m sorry to hear that. I don’t remember you saying that she completely handled your money, but that makes all this make a little more sense.
If you never handled your own money, really try to see a professional, because your situation would tax anyone. Where do you live? There are free debt services run by the government in many major cities that are run to help people going through bankrupcy, but they may be able to help you as well. I believe there’s one still in Boston. They also run through the internet.
Please don’t think I’m being harsh- I’ve been in a position of financial collapse myself, scared and alone. You need to hear the truth. Sorry if I made you feel like I don’t have your back. 🙁
Your loans do not sound in forebearance- at least the ones that you’re getting calls about. They’re in default. Don’t worry, I’ve been there as well. First thing first- ask for proof from these compankes that they own the loan. Get your credit report- you can get 1 free report a year from each credit bureau. You can do this over the internet as well. Find out who actually owns your loans. Debt collectors will try to get money on debt that they no longer own. If you pay them, you’re fucked.
ETA: Also, a word on “debt counseling”. Do your research before you give them any money or personal information. The US is like the Wild West when it comes to regulating these companies.
@Z&T
Not a lawyer, but do possess a paralegal degree. And honestly, your strongest move would be to hire a lawyer. You can also check your state’s Bar association for recommendations as well, but really your situation sounds like there’s enough complexity that a professional is probably called for. Until you determine EXACTLY who holds your loan and how much is owed I would err on the side of not sending anything. You can (and should) request things in writing from any debt collectors, and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Note down every time you speak to anyone involved, even just a brief note. It’s the sort of thing that can come in real handy if things escalate.
@Mrex
You may have not been calling Z&T a fuckup, but saying that they did fuck up when said action was not having enough money to pay off their loans is still a bit uncool
(Edited a bit since I do see you did walk it back)
PS.
The place in Boston that I called is Money Management International. I can’t vouch for them too hard because my ex flaked (he always flaked when it came to money, comes with the territory of drugs), but every interaction I had with them was OK. So, a cautious recommendation.
@mrex
I thought you were going to stop giving people “advice”? Why do you always find the people already in incredibly shitty situations and then insult them on top of it?
@Z&T
Hugs offered. I don’t have any advice, but please have some cute.
Thanks above, 🙂
For the advice. Especially to you Alan, I understand you’re in the legal field and seem to grasp this all.
What strikes me too is, you’re in the UK? How sim the laws are. Or same type of legal situation. Which is messy.
Oh yes I did know from school that US and UK laws are sim, in the abstract way, I did not know the actual ‘paperwork’ things would be sim.
And either way, it’s a mess!
No one seems to know what to do, either. ?
Yikes! It’s all such a mess and I’m just trying to fix it.
@David
I hope things start working out for you and you start feeling better as soon as possible.
@Z&T
*hugs*
@kupo
Seconded!
@ Z&T
Glad we could be of some help. Yeah, procedural details can vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction; but the fundamentals are pretty similar. Probate law in both countries hasn’t really changed that much since before that little kerfuffle in 1776. The only real development practically since Roman times was women getting a few more rights (Jane Austin’s work was intended to highlight the unfairness of the law to women and played no small part in the introduction of the Married Women’s Property Act; but I digress)
The devil though is in the detail, hence the advice to get professional help.
I don’t if you’re one of those people who can take comfort in reading about similar situations; but if so you may like to check out Bleak House. That’s all about the misery of a probate case.
(Dickens was familiar with the legal system and he writes with wonderfully depressing accuracy)
@ Schnookums,
Thank you so much for your thoughts, this is exactly what I’m looking for, a “path” on the way to fix these things so to say 🙂
Yeah, I think I’m going to need another lawyer, or someone who works on these things, I have no fucking clue.
@ mrex –
Our friend Tara has a few words for you, about her bug bites.
Her home is spotlessly clean. No carpets or pets or anything that may be a bug factor.
And I can back her up on this because – I’m there all the time. And with this, yes that’s the first thing you think of – make sure everything is clean. So that’s what we have been doing. Cleaning, and cleaning, and cleaning some more! There is nothing there. Her home is spotlessly clean. There is nothing to point to, nothing.
It was spotlessly clean to begin with.
Something poisonous bit her. You can SEE this. This girl was pounding on my front door, head covered in blood, leaning on the doorbell, screaming like a banshee, and it scared the living hell out of me! And then, get a grip, OK we’ll fix it or go to the ER.
And it could’ve come from anywhere. Her house is spotlessly clean.
Anyway, @ mrex, Tara does not appreciate you calling her a fuck up, either. I did relay this story here elsewhere too. And even if you didn’t know, you shouldn’t leap to conclusions.
@kupo
“Why do you always find the people already in incredibly shitty situations and then insult them on top of it?”
She made a mistake by not making sure that it was handled in the past by her mom, the moment she was short of funds. Once you go into default, your options narrow, and people lose trust in you. No biggie, but now she has to deal with that reality. If that truth is an insult, so be it.
Should I tell her that it’s everyone else’s fault? Or, should I stick to a few animal pics, so that she feels better now, but wakes up in the same mess tomorrow? No, you said you didn’t have advice, so you can comfort her and make her feel better with hugs and animal pics. I have some experience with student loan default, so I gave it, harsh or not.
@David, you get better, you! If you want/need/are scheduled for a payment drive just post one and we’ll fill it on up as best we’re able. We’re all rooting for you. I hope it sorts out quickly and all the troubles resolve themselves soon!
@Z&T, you too! I have no advice to give beyond what Alan has said – professionals will make this easy for you. They’re so worth it. Collections agencies will *hate it* if you tell them you’re getting professional debt counselling help, of course, so I’d avoid mentioning it to them until it’s sorted. But please do, get some professional help as best you’re able! You’ve been through so much lately, the fact that you’re keeping such a level head is so inspiring. You might not feel it, but you’re doing just fine. Keep it up. <3