By David Futrelle
I thought I’d take a moment this Friday evening to signal-boost a very important tweet from film producer Keith Calder on the subject of dudes so wrapped up in their own supposed machoness that they can’t “poop properly” or, even worse, clean up afterwards.
Here’s the tweet.
https://twitter.com/keithcalder/status/918598272243126272
Let us consider each of the three screenshots in turn.
The first one is almost poignant in its innocence, from a Reddit dude who’s been perching on the toilet rim to poop his whole life because he somehow grew up believing that toilet seats are meant only for girls.
The other two (also from Reddit) are a little more disturbing — and disgusting — partly because they involve massive failures in butt hygiene and partly because they feature posts from women who have apparently been putting up with these massive butt hygiene failures from their dudes for a long time.
Also both of the dudes in question refuse to change their ways.
Brace yourself!
I have a number of questions here, not least: how exactly did the author of this post not realize this unpleasant fact about her angry stinky dude BEFORE THEY GOT MARRIED? I’m not trying to blame the victim here but I simply don’t understand how this would even be possible.
Also I hope she has managed to get this abusive shitstain out of her life.
The next story is similarly puzzling:
YES IT IS YES YES AND AGAIN YES.
I can only hope that at least one of these posts is a troll job, if not all of them, but given what I have learned about my fellow men in my years writing this blog I have to admit that they could very well all be true.
DUDES, WIPE YOUR DAMN ASSES.
H/T — Thanks to @RemingtonWild on Twitter for alerting me to Calder’s tweet
@TheKND
Link? Call it morbid curiousity.
Kaitlin:
What we want to know is how you defend the indefensible. So far you have made a statement defending *your brother* which was clearly false, and then when asked a few perfectly reasonable questions – which *as his sister* you should find fairly straightforward you just pull out the tired old ‘femininity not feminism. you are bitter’ bollocks.
Yes, a lot of us ARE angry at what *your brother* has done, and has written about. We hate it when rapists are so arrogant that they write about the entire crime with such arrogance and lack of remorse. There are so many more things as well that for me personally I had to stop reading any post that addressed that POS because it actually made me want to kill him.
I had a bf when I was a teen who paid poor attention to anal hygiene. The manosphere would have loved him – he was supremely arrogant and treated me like shit, a real alpha. I expect he was ‘not fussy’ partly because he was extremely macho and arrogant – I am guessing that he didn’t think it mattered.
I know. These misogynist morons wouldn’t know “manliness” if it hit them in the face with a large muskellunge!
Persians were a hygienic bunch….Ironic when you consider the junk that Mr. Stinkyboy Valizadeh and his “sister-sock” on this board has been spewing. “Traditional Persian” my butt!
Dear WHTM:
Thanks for existing! I’ve been lurking here for a while and it has given me chuckles and incredible comfort at a time when the prevalence of misogyny has been forcefully brought to my attention both personally and politically.
As for the post, I never would have dreamt this was a thing until recently. I never had a problem with men and hygiene until I married an old friend after a whirlwind courtship and being out of touch for many years. Big mistake. But, because of this I can tell you what this is about.
This is a form of covert aggression. It isn’t that these guys don’t know basic hygiene, it is another way to express their hatred and their authoritarian nature. Truly. It is also an example of oppositional defiance disorder, which fits because all of these guys are essentially children, or King Baby as a poster in the support group I belonged to dubbed my soon to be ex husband.
The fact that I complained about this with a certain amount of shocked derision made me a big, ball busting meanie. I thought I’d found a special type of creep until I happened upon this post. Seems not. But, rest assured, this is aggression. How dare women be anything other than sex, succor and slavery dispensing robots?
Ah, I found this site after a desperate google search of “why do men hate women?” which led me to ROK and other misogyny sites. I learned a lot, even if it did stand my hair on end. A comment referenced you guys as the worst, so I figured you had to be the best. I’m still horrified, frightened and confused as to why so many men hate women with such murderous vitriol and I’m well versed in feminist theory. The most bitter man hater I’ve ever known doesn’t hold a candle to these guys. But most decent people manage not to universalise from the individual to the group. Or at least they should.
After the election of Trump though, I’m honestly wondering just how much hatred is hiding, unsuspected, in everyday people. A musing both depressing and inspiring to action.
I have Persian family, and they’re not unkempt assholes like Roosh.
To be fair only one of them was too “macho” to do it, the rest were just…. untidy haha
Persians, at least in my experience, bathe. TBH, most of the Persian guys I have known are painstaking about hygiene, and would have a breakdown at the idea of their sister sleeping with four or five guys, likely, so they had to think about it. Rosh is…atypical.
Maybe Kaitlin is referring to a traditional Persian cat upbringing? Since this involves licking your own butt, I can see how someone might resent the need to do that.
US persons here. I and mine are from the near east. Same for my various friends.
And – these are western areas. Egypt? Israel? It’s – like the US. Or UK. Or EU. Or OZ.
Traditional Persians? Iran then? Western.
Traditional Female? Oh like your granny who maybe worked at McDonald’s while at uni to get an office job with some large corporation?
These people seem to think, or hope, or are propagandizing, that their recent ancestors were riding around on camels or in a covered wagon singing Gypsies, tramps and thieves.
Yeah. That was like – hundreds of years ago. WTF?
I saw something like this too, for the US, and for right here in IL – it was some TV show about people gone back to nature or what have you, and they showed these people who had a “hobby farm” in far W IL close to IA.
The woman said she became enamored of it all after reading the “Little house on the prairie” books. OK that all took place in like the – 1850s.
Which you could even say was a relatively modern age. It’s not like they were living in caves or anything. And these people were wearing modern clothes, had electricity and cell phones etc.
Do you think L. I. Wilder is rolling over in her grave? I should guess that she’d probably think – Yeah I’d have liked a cell phone, modern tractor, plumbing, and electricity too!
Jeez. Join with the times, already! T has poked me to remind me – there’s a suburb of Cairo called Beverly Hills.
Traditional Persian what now? Next time you’re in Tehran, try not to inhale so much pollution.
@AuntieMameRedux
That makes quite a lot of sense. My sister’s (thankfully now ex) boyfriend used to refuse to take dirty dishes out of his room, among other aggression, for what I assume was for similar reasoning.
Mammotheers, you make some excellent points about the ludicrous, self-contradicting “philiosophy” behind “men’s rights.”
@Steph
Yes!
Although I will point out that your post is unfair to babies, who don’t deserve to be compared to MRAs.
@AuntieMameRedux
Welcome! I enjoyed your thoughtful comment.
I’m familiar with the phenomenon of men not attending to basic hygiene because they’re authoritarians. My father would put off getting a haircut, and it wasn’t because he was in a punk band. He also would put off taking a bath. An ex-boyfriend would forget to wash his hands after having a BM. (I took care of myself by asking him every time if he had washed his hands. I heard the water running often enough to believe his answers.) Another boyfriend (a middle-aged man in a profession that demands good grooming) would put off getting a haircut; he would also let his beard get scruffy. He would also get urine on the toilet seat and not wipe it off. And then there’s the boyfriend of a friend of mine, who would pee in the bathroom sink, no matter how much my friend — or his daughter — protested. Because I knew these guys, I knew that they were authoritarians and hostile to women — or at least authoritarian and hostile toward their wives or girlfriends.
I’m also familiar with another type of guy who won’t attend to basic hygiene. An ex-boyfriend wasn’t hostile to women or authoritarian. He was lazy, at least about some things, and infatuated with himself. He wanted to be loved “for himself,” without having to make a big effort. In his case, that effort extended to hygiene. Yuck.
PS: I attended a party at his place of work, and a woman approached me to tell me that the bathroom on the second floor (where my then-boyfriend had his office) always had urine on the toilet seat. She didn’t name my boyfriend as the culprit, but I understood her message. I guess that she thought I was his keeper or his mommy and could get him to behave himself.
Hi, AuntieMameRedux. Welcome!
Mankind (written sometime in the mid-15th century) contains a bawdy song mocking guys who don’t wipe. I mean, it’s the villains singing it, so I suppose you could argue that the play is coming out against cleanliness, but my interpretation is that even medieval demons have standards.
@AuntieMameRedux
Welcome! I loved this:
QFT!! ?
I don’t understand why guys who feel paying too much attention to their ass is unmanly have no qualms about endlessly fishing around in there for opinions and fax.
I also don’t understand why a traditional Persian family would name their daughter Kaitlyn.
Oh, “Kaitlyn”, you are a riot.
@AuntieMameRedux
Welcome to the site! I found this place after a video by Mr Sunday Movies about MRA manbabies throwing a tantrum over the latest Mad Max movie, they used a WHTM article as a source. I wasn’t really a feminist before, but I sure was getting sick of the constant endless whining of anti-feminists, and even I could tell their claims didn’t seem to line up with reality. I knew actual feminists had to be better than them because I’ve never actually SEEN these alleged shrill shrieking harpy feminists that were supposed to be everywhere. I only saw the hypersensitive anti-feminist echo chamber wankfests that spawned spontaneously wherever I went because it takes literally nothing to trigger them. So I was thrilled to find a site exposing the kinda crap I was seeing all over the place that nobody else was willing to talk about, it’s like WHTM is the website I always wanted but didn’t know I wanted.
Hi Everyone
I’m on my tablet so can’t copy and paste to do personal replies, but thank you all for the welcome and the kind replies. I’m saddened that others have experience with the bad hygiene thing….and that it does seem to correlate so consistently with some really bad things. I guess I was lucky until recently…sheesh.
Yes, WHTM is the website I never knew I needed but adore.
Now, does anyone else dream of a world where men and women actually figure out how to work together? I don’t just mean romantically either. Actually manage society and the planet in as good a way as we can muster? Given the current state of things we need the best efforts of everyone. Plus, I’m tired of feeling so divided. This can’t be good for anyone.
I was appalled after reading ROK and related sites but I refuse to believe that is the way we’re collectively headed. They act like they expect to be issued a willing woman.
Oh, and I want to meet the traditional Persian family that named one child Roosh and one Kaitlyn.
Okay, so I’m gonna post just this one comment here under a pseudonym for rather obvious reasons.
I used to work in the sex industry. We’d always ask clients to shower first before the “massage”. The number of clients with bits of toilet paper and shit on it sitting between their butt cheeks… not just a few. Quite a lot actually.
It’s completely disgusting.
And they had every opportunity to clean it beforehand. They just don’t give a shit.
Pun intended.
@Moggie,
Thanks (yet again) for making me snort my drink.
@Shadowplay, @Catalpa,
I’ve always used coconut oil on my son’s hair (he’s half Indian so his hair is super thick & strong). Works a treat & doesn’t make anything greasy. It may have been the reason he missed most of the head-lice invasions during primary school 😀
Random thought: all the talk of butts is making me think of Chuck Tingle…
I have done sex work. I am glad to say that this was not my experience. Almost without exception the men were very clean. This was in Sydney, Australia.
@Mish,
Chuck Tingle’s son just got married, and Chuck was very sweet about it. Proud Papa!
@AuntieMameRedux, welcome aboard! Please have a welcome package. It’s chock full of misandry!
I’m glad to hear that you’ve kicked your anchor to the curb. That guy sounds like nothing but dead weight to drag you down. I hope he’s no longer in your life and you’re free to do your own thing! I agree that that sort of uncleanliness can certainly be part of an aggression mode. “Aggression” is basically toxic-masculinity-101. Doing things to intentionally frustrate or stymie others is a way little boys are taught to feel good about themselves – they learn that “winning” involves “making other people upset”, and associate with that instead of with, you know, the actual thing they were trying to accomplish. Largely unconscious in adulthood though, really. Everything important is, at least.
I’m glad you’ve pulled yourself from that situation! It’s awful, and you certainly deserve better.
Yepppppp. I don’t know where you live, but up here it’s depressing how popular Trump is. And I’m not even in the USA. I mean, I’ve always known that there were large clusters of jerkbutt dudes up here, but I didn’t think they extended it to general misanthropy, bold racism and outright hate! And they dare to call it objective and rational! Them jerks wouldn’t know rationality if it bit’em on the butt. Blisteringly dumb.
Thank you for posting, and welcome again!