By David Futrelle
I thought I’d take a moment this Friday evening to signal-boost a very important tweet from film producer Keith Calder on the subject of dudes so wrapped up in their own supposed machoness that they can’t “poop properly” or, even worse, clean up afterwards.
Here’s the tweet.
https://twitter.com/keithcalder/status/918598272243126272
Let us consider each of the three screenshots in turn.
The first one is almost poignant in its innocence, from a Reddit dude who’s been perching on the toilet rim to poop his whole life because he somehow grew up believing that toilet seats are meant only for girls.
The other two (also from Reddit) are a little more disturbing — and disgusting — partly because they involve massive failures in butt hygiene and partly because they feature posts from women who have apparently been putting up with these massive butt hygiene failures from their dudes for a long time.
Also both of the dudes in question refuse to change their ways.
Brace yourself!
I have a number of questions here, not least: how exactly did the author of this post not realize this unpleasant fact about her angry stinky dude BEFORE THEY GOT MARRIED? I’m not trying to blame the victim here but I simply don’t understand how this would even be possible.
Also I hope she has managed to get this abusive shitstain out of her life.
The next story is similarly puzzling:
YES IT IS YES YES AND AGAIN YES.
I can only hope that at least one of these posts is a troll job, if not all of them, but given what I have learned about my fellow men in my years writing this blog I have to admit that they could very well all be true.
DUDES, WIPE YOUR DAMN ASSES.
H/T — Thanks to @RemingtonWild on Twitter for alerting me to Calder’s tweet
I can understand having medical issues that make it difficult to wipe, but not wiping because it’s “””unmanly”””?
Sums it up pretty well
Anti troll kitteh
Kaitlyn,
If you’re his sister, how do you feel about the things he has written about you and your family?
What was it specifically that prompted you to stop financially supporting him?
How do you feel about the fact your brother, who is a rapist who believes women should be treated legally as property of men, has written about hoping to influence your children?
How do you feel about your brother writing about how worthless women are while your mother feeds him and keeps a roof over his head?
And if you wouldn’t characterize him whining about having to wipe his ass as whining about having to wipe his ass, how else would you explain him specifically saying it isn’t fair that he has to wipe is poop crusted ass?
I live in Green Bay, Wisconsin, famous for a football team but also we have some very big paper factories here that make lots of T.P. When you’re from here, almost anywhere in the world, home is as close as the nearest stall. So those of you with kitties that like to shred the T.P., God bless ’em! They’re helping to keep our local economy – ahem – flush.
And PaganReader, that third picture just destroyed my blood sugar tester.
Lea,
It may have sounded like Roosh was boasting about committing rape in Bang Iceland, but you’re wrong. He was just making a list of crimes and being the evil misandrist that you are, you chose to focus only on the rape part. Why do you keep lying about poor, innocent Roosh?
“Kaitlin”,
How do you feel about having your “brother” write this column about you?
http://www.rooshv.com/open-letter-to-the-parents-of-american-daughters
Yeah, I totally believe you are his sister. Uh huh.
Cool story, bro.
I’m looking forward to Kaitlin’s explanation of what Roosh really meant.
To the woman with the gross husband…
…and you MARRIED him because…?!
I’m fairly certain if that person DOES return they won’t be providing a coherent, honest explanation.
@MrsObedMarsh
Oooh, new popcorn gif! Love it!
@Kaitlin
Such sisterly devotion!
Given that devotion, I’m surprised that you don’t read your brother’s posts in their entirety.
I’m here to help you out. The bold type was added by me. It points to your brother’s disdain for grooming — specifically, wiping his ass more than perfunctorily — and his intense irritation that he must bow to women’s preferences.
Men Must Groom More Than Cats To Get Laid
August 25, 2014
Or are you saying that Roosh thinks that men should be “feminized,” be “scared,” and be “like women”?
Inquiring minds need to know. . . .
http://www.rooshv.com/men-must-groom-more-than-cats-to-get-laid
“Remove residual sock fiber from underneath toe nails”
That’s both really, really, specific and something no woman has ever noticed or cared about.
@Kaitlin
When you speak to your brother, ask him what this is and how he does it:
I’m a woman and reasonably well groomed, but I haven’t even thought about doing this.
Are implements involved?
Will he, pretty please, make a Youtube video to demonstrate it?
Hurry, hurry, because now I’m feeling ill groomed.
“Apply and remove contact lenses”?? What does this have to do with grooming? Isn’t that just, you know, to see? Is it considered “feminized” to see clearly now?
But on topic, I’ve never had a girlfreind, yet Captain Shitstain is married. Is it officially time to give up yet? And to think I’ve been keeping my anus sparkling clean all this time for nothing!
It’s also pretty hilarious that showering and brushing teeth are on that list. He apparently resents every form of basic hygiene and thinks that people only do these things to get laid.
The booger removal one might be my personal favorite though. I mean, unless you actively peer into someone’s nostrils, you probably can’t tell if there’s some boogers up in there. I don’t clean out my nose to be sexy. I do it so I can breathe well and comfortably.
Just the other day I found a leaf from a houseplant and cracker crumbs in my left nostril.
Then in my right nostril I found a GI Joe (Desert Storm military police).
Damn! How can I look sexy with debris and such in my nose!
Is there no limit to the lengths Roosh will go to to get laid!
His efforts are awe inspiring.
Dear Roosh:
Many, many men who never apply moisturizer to their faces are able to attract women — and even have sex with them.
Is it possible that when a woman tallies up your traits, both good and bad, your loathsome qualities far outweigh the fact that your skin is moisturized?
Kat
Ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Is it even possible to tell when someone has moisturized? Isn’t that something you do for your own comfort? My skin gets an odd texture if I don’t moisturize it after washing, and I don’t know if that’s a universal experience, but I don’t think it’s visible and I certainly can’t point at someone and say if they’ve moisturized or not.
WWTH, Kat, & PoM,
Nicely dissected, and hilarious! Thanks.
This seems like it would be difficult to enforce. Is there some kind of lengthy application process or is it honor system alone? Even for a manbaby website, banning women from posting seems particularly childish to me, like the online equivalent of saying we have cooties.
@PeeVee
Aww, thanks!
Still waiting to hear Kaitlin’s response to the many points that Mammotheers have made in this thread. . . .
Calmdown, I don’t know how they enforce it, but:
Rooshy’s He Man Boy’s Club Rules:
https://www.rooshvforum.com/archive/index.php?thread-3383.html
10. No girls, homosexuals, or transsexuals. Their opinions or comments are not welcome here.
Kat,
Obviously she can’t post on Big Brother’s forum. Wonder how she feels about that.
@calmdown
It’s one of the reasons I thought the site was satire when I first stumbled across it. I went to the about page to try and figure out if the articles are serious or not and that rule made me lean towards satire at first.