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Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ dad’s jokes are a fireable offense: Today in Tweets

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, live from the 8th circle of Hell

By David Futrelle

Sarah Huckabee Sanders wants an ESPN commenter fired for having an opinion about Trump that she doesn’t like. Meanwhile, no one can stop her terrible father from making awful jokes on Twitter. Meanwhile, Apple introduces some new face recognition thingy.

On to the Tweets:

https://twitter.com/djlavoie/status/908041553050062849

Meanwhile, no one can stop her father from making an endless succession of barely comprehensible “jokes” on Twitter.

Sarah, please talk to him.

In other news, apparently you can use your face to unlock iPhones now even though this is actually kind of a stupid thing?

https://twitter.com/ComicPrintingUK/status/907714163564273664

In other other news:

https://twitter.com/pattymo/status/908076373239103488

Cute animals!

https://twitter.com/awwcuteness/status/907609515952144389

https://twitter.com/Attenboroughs_D/status/907510344226152448

https://twitter.com/ItsMeowIRL/status/907186867094908930

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PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

Lol, I answered @pattymo, “He didn’t check to see if the Garanimals matched.”

Austin Loomis
3 years ago

Vox Day-wearing-a-Vox Day-shirt

It was like some fucked-up Escher painting, ‘The Perfect Eternal Jackass.’ […] There were layers of meaning there I couldn’t begin to interpret.”

Also, Vox Day looks like a bad photocopy of Scott Adams. “Or is it the other way around in reverse?” (Bugs Bunny, Bill of Hare [1962, dir. Robert McKimson])

numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/sep/13/netanyahu-son-yair-antisemitic-cartoon-george-soros

Netanyahu’s son tweets a happy merchant / Soros / reptilian image.

The leadership of Israel is now “satirically” nazi. Amazing.

dr. ej
dr. ej
3 years ago

The request from Shkreli is super creepy. He didn’t just ask for a hair. He wanted a hair with the follicle attached. He was asking for a DNA sample!

Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
3 years ago

Calling the pOTUS a bigot is a fireable offense??? But, but… HE FUCKING IS, JUST FUCKING ASK HIM!!!!!

The leadership of Israel is now “satirically” nazi. Amazing.

I wuz gonna ask if this year could get any weirder… but I’m afraid to….

numerobis
numerobis
3 years ago

Weird Eddie, let me make it more normal for you:
https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2017/09/bungie-apologizes-for-destiny-2-item-that-resembles-neo-nazi-flag/

Game company get comments that a particular item in their game looks an awful lot like neo-Nazi imagery off the chans. They immediately apologize and push out an update to fix that (and, presumably, have a talk with the responsible artist).

And the comments thread goes wild! Any Ars readers here, spend a whole evening voting comments up/down. I recommend down for the neo-nazi apologists, up for the SJWs.

brian
brian
3 years ago

jeez I hope the thousands of people retweeting Huckabee are doing it to show people how pathetic he is… there’s no other reasonable explanation.

DannyBoy
DannyBoy
3 years ago

Huckabee on Cartoon Network? Pretty sure even the writers of “Teen Titans Go!” wouldn’t find him funny

DannyBoy
DannyBoy
3 years ago

*Go

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
3 years ago

@dr. ej,

Uhm, WHY would Shkelri want Hilary’s DNA for? Is he going to clone her for some nefarious purpose? Or is he testing her for what (perscription) drug(s) she’s on, and wishes to make that public?

dr. ej
dr. ej
3 years ago

@Redsilkphoenix

I don’t know! That’s part of what makes it so creepy.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I’m sure the goal is just to send the message that this kind of harassment is what female candidates should expect. It’s to intimidate her and put her in her place.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

@PeeVee,

Lol, I answered @pattymo, “He didn’t check to see if the Garanimals matched.”

Ah-ha! I has found you and followed you on the Twitters xx
That is all

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
3 years ago

@numerobis

So, that led to this:

https://www.splcenter.org/hatewatch/2017/05/08/what-kek-explaining-alt-right-deity-behind-their-meme-magic

which in turn led to this:

At some point, someone at 4chan happened to seize on a coincidence: There was, in fact, an Egyptian god named Kek. An androgynous god who could take either male or female form, Kek originally was depicted in female form as possessing the head of a frog or a cat and a serpent when male; but during the Greco-Roman period, the male form was depicted as a frog-headed man.

Waitaminnit … you mean the god of the alt-right, that bunch of racist, xenophobic, homophobic, misogynistic, and transphobic jerknuts, is genderfluid?

Bahahahahahahahaha …

PaganReader - Misandrist Spinster

In studies that surprise no one at all, Trumplethinskin voters seeing a photo of a black person get angry and can change their political views. But it’s mean to call them racists.

Tabby Lavalamp
Tabby Lavalamp
3 years ago

I can’t wait for that Free Speech event at Berkeley! Bannon, Coulter, and whatshisface are going to LAY INTO the White House for this! It’s going to be glorious as they raise their voices as one denouncing this attack on a woman of colour exercising her First Amendment rights! And as they do, PewDiePie fans across the land are going to join in, raging against the idea that someone might lose their livelihood for just words, and the world will hear their song of outrage ring around the world like a choir of angry angels that will tear down this assault on freedom of speech!

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
3 years ago

WWTH:

You’re more than likely right about the reason for stealing the hair. However, I’ll just imagine instead that the nefarious plan was something out of a superhero comic book instead. Much more fun. >:D

Let’s see here…Shkelri gains Hilary’s DNA at last, and uses it to create a series of clones, all with the intent of handing them out to the original Hiliary’s enemies, to abuse and degrade them at will. He made a huge bunch of them, all for men who held a grudge against an uppity woman, and had an obscene amount of money to pay for one….

However, the nutrient soup used to feed the clones and quick-age them to adulthood had some…alien ingredients in it, and the clones didn’t come out exactly like Hilary. They came out with…superpowers. One came out like Storm, one like Wonder Woman, one like Ripley, one Buffy, one genderswapped Captain America, one genderswapped Batman, one genderswapped Dr. Who #6, etc, etc…you get the idea.

Each of the clones, of course, knew why they were created, and weren’t happy about it, to put it mildly. So instead of accepting that fate, they instead teamed up to use their powers to take down their would-be slave masters, and make the world a better place for all, not just rich straight white Christian men (of a certain age).

Alright, that’s not the best-written story idea ever, but it’s a lot more fun than whatever Shkelri probably had in mind.

ETA: I love the photo of the black cat with the litter of black kittens in the orange pumpkin bed. Cute. :3

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

I know humour is subjective, but every one of Huckabee’s gags that I’ve seen has made me think that he doesn’t really understand how jokes work.

I don’t know what Shkreli’s aiming for. He acts like he thinks he’s the smartest guy in any room, so I suspect he feels he has his future mapped out. But it’s hard to see what he wants, unless it’s “head of FDA in a dystopian USA”.

D
D
3 years ago

All I can figure about Shkreli is that his compulsive desire to be obnoxious overcomes his rational self-interest.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
3 years ago

I can imagine Shkreli defending his tweet in court.

“Your honor, no reasonable person would believe that a) Ms. Clinton is really running a shadowy political murder cabal and b) someone with my reputation would really pay $5000 for a mail-in hair ‘after checking that the sequence matches'”

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
3 years ago

Uhm, WHY would Shkelri want Hilary’s DNA for? Is he going to clone her for some nefarious purpose? Or is he testing her for what (perscription) drug(s) she’s on, and wishes to make that public?

He claimed he’s playing a citizen detective, using DNA evidence to incriminate Clinton for some political murders, or whatever the most virulent haters accuse her of.

He claimed to already have one sample that’s allegedly from Clinton, so if you send him another alleged sample and it matches the other, it shows they’re really from Clinton, and he’ll then pay you $5000 totes sure.

I’m sure the goal is just to send the message that this kind of harassment is what female candidates should expect. It’s to intimidate her and put her in her place.

I suspect the main goal was to inspire more generic Clinton-hate among people who already hate Clinton and believe in conspiracy theories. Sure, someone might try to grab her hair, but someone might also decide to play rogue avenger and try to kill her. Mostly, people will just continue calling her a murderer.

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

Arctic Ape:

“Your honor, no reasonable person would believe that a) Ms. Clinton is really running a shadowy political murder cabal and b) someone with my reputation would really pay $5000 for a mail-in hair ‘after checking that the sequence matches’”

“Mr Shkreli, no reasonable person would believe that anyone would pay two million dollars for a Wu-Tang Clan album… and yet, you did”.

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
3 years ago

Just ordered a t-shirt of me wearing a t-shirt with my own face on it.

So nah…

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

@Pagan
I saw that! I mean, we all saw that coming forever ago, but… Given the chance to make their voice heard and get their ideas out about the economic issues about which we’re assured they’re super anxious, turns out it was racism the whole time. If only millions of people and the democratic nominee coulda told y’all

Citizen Justin
3 years ago

@ rugbyyogi

Only if it was your own face when you were 20 years younger.

Nequam
Nequam
3 years ago

@Redsilk: why Doctor #6 specifically?

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
3 years ago

@citizen justin – you bet – and about 50 lbs lighter, too with a better haircut…

kupo
kupo
3 years ago
Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
3 years ago

All I can figure about Shkreli is that his compulsive desire to be obnoxious overcomes his rational self-interest.

Isn’t there someone in the White House kinda like that…?

Gussie Jives
Gussie Jives
3 years ago

Props on the caption, Dave! After all, the deepest reaches of Dante’s hell are meant for those that betrayed the public trust. The whole Trump administration would fit right in with the fraudsters of the Malebolge.

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

Mish,

It was a lovely surprise when I woke up, so thank you! <3

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

He claimed he’s playing a citizen detective, using DNA evidence to incriminate Clinton for some political murders, or whatever the most virulent haters accuse her of.

Okay. I know that the right wing conspiracy about the Clintons murdering people have been around since the early 90’s, but DNA evidence? They can’t possibly think that Hillary Clinton physically killed anyone instead of hiring goons, can they? Even if she did, what good is getting her DNA without having access to crime scene DNA to compare it to?

I’m still going with my original instinct. An excuse to encourage misogynists to harass her. Just in case Kamala Harris, Elizabeth Warren or any other woman gets all uppity and runs against Trump.

ETA: especially since DNA can also be obtained by taking a used tissue or takeout coffee cup or whatever out of the trash. No assault necessary.

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

I’m wondering if he wants to analyze her DNA for variants correlated with diseases to push the sick Hillary narrative?

Just so everyone has some extra knowledge in case something like this does come up, you can tell from gene sequencing which variants a person has, but you can’t tell whether those genes are expressed. They may be dormant. Also, it’s not as simple as one gene variant to one disease. Some diseases have dozens of variants correlated with them, and you may need a combination of those.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

DNA can also be obtained by taking a used tissue or takeout coffee cup or whatever out of the trash.

I hope I’m not splaining here, but from a forensic point of view follicles are better.

Contact samples run up against something called Locard’s Exchange Principle. Basically that potential cross contamination makes them unreliable. With follicles there’s like a double part security.

Firstly they can take the sample from inside the follicle.

Also they wash the sample in solvent. They then analyse the solvent. If no DNA matching the follicle sample shows up in the solvent then it’s considered more likely that the sample is genuinely from the subject rather than a result of contamination.

(When I do my “Forensic Awareness for Feminists” I’ll cover how to exploit that process to alibi yourself)

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Well, yeah, picking through trash isn’t the ideal way to get a DNA sample, but it’s also the legal way if the testee is unwilling. My point is, you don’t absolutely have to assault someone to get their DNA. Yet, that’s what he’s going for. I don’t recall high profile conspiracy theorists ever doing anything like this with a famous male target (for example a certain other Clinton) and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. Misogynistic men will always come up with a pretext, no matter how thin to violate a woman’s bodily autonomy. This is just one more thing.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

but it’s also the legal way if the testee is unwilling.

Picking through trash would be more apposite for the sleaziness of the endeavour.

(Although that would be illegal in the UK I’m happy to say)

Jesalin
Jesalin
3 years ago

Almost into the final countdown, 7-8 days to go..and I’m half out of my mind because I still don’t know if this surgery is even going to happen. I’m still waiting (1 week and counting) to hear from my social worker if they’ll cover a piece of luggage so I can actually pack clothes and other necessities for the (some-what possible) trip. As for the main part, the actual plane/train/teleporter trip to get there…..I don’t have a bloody clue, and every time I think about it I just want to cry.

I went through Hope Air, because I’m poor and they provide free transport to medical appointment. Filled out their application Aug 28th, heard back on the 29th that everything was confirmed and they are working on my flight request. Then nothing. Emailed them a few days ago and the only response I got was:

We are currently processing a high volume of travel requests. Once your flight has been booked we will contact you. Thank you for your patience.

What does a breakdown feel like?
comment image
comment image

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
3 years ago

They can’t possibly think that Hillary Clinton physically killed anyone instead of hiring goons, can they? Even if she did, what good is getting her DNA without having access to crime scene DNA to compare it to?

I don’t think it likely that Shkreli personally believes in this – although sometimes you see people acting in a highly delusional manner when they want to be the hero that saves the world from evil. Like that guy who fired his gun at the floor in pizza restaurant.

Many other people wouldn’t think that far – or at least Shkreli hoped they wouldn’t. Wild conspiracy theories thrive because some people can be extremely uncritical when you tell them something they like to believe in.

And yeah, the bodily assault aspect is likely gender related.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

Maybe Shkreli wants it for some sort of voodoo ritual?

I hope when he goes to buy a candy bar at the prison commissary, he finds that the price has been suddenly jacked up to $12,387,609.78.

Robert Walker-Smith
Robert Walker-Smith
3 years ago

When my older son was very young and learning about jokes, he would try to make them up. They followed the general format, but were cargo cult humor – he didn’t understand how jokes actually work.
He was five years old. I don’t think Huckabee has that excuse.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Maybe he’s really a Huckabeebot built by Warren from Buffy. The robots on that show weren’t the best joke tellers either

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m02n2jLLs01qzmqkj.gif

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

Shkreli may or may not believe in any of the conspiracy theories, and it doesn’t matter. The dude’s a chan troll, trying to crush dreams and ruin lives because that’s what they’re about. Everything he’s done has been in the service of raw greed and spite. So, yeah, he wants the hair to make Clinton’s life a little more miserable, because he gets off on the power. He would be happy if someone actually killed Mrs Clinton, because it’d be another demonstration of his “power”. She’s not human, because she’s not actually in front of him. Frankly, I’m surprised these guys exhibit object permanence.

Does he have “DNA evidence” to corroborate? Doubt it, but maybe. He’s a rich asshole with buckets of spite to spend, so he could probably get someone working at a hotel she’s stayed at to send him the hotel’s bedsheets from her room or something creepy. Does it matter? No – he’s not doing any DNA verification or what-the-hell-ever he’s saying he’s doing. It’s to harass and abuse. That’s all these people are; that way they can always retreat to “it was just a joke” and “don’t take yourself so seriously”.

Seriously, the batman movies can go to hell.

Grumble grumble!

Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
3 years ago

Ann Coulter whinges on trumpification…

“At this point, who DOESN’T want Trump impeached?,” conservative pundit Ann Coulter tweeted Thursday morning in response to a Trump tweet defending the so-called “Dreamers” that DACA covers.

so, Annie, you thought the narcissist-in-chief was on your side???

NicolaLuna
NicolaLuna
3 years ago

When my older son was very young and learning about jokes, he would try to make them up. They followed the general format, but were cargo cult humor – he didn’t understand how jokes actually work.
He was five years old. I don’t think Huckabee has that excuse.

When my son was 4 or 5 he did this. The one I always remember is,
Why did the caterpillar cross the road?

To get some eyebrows!

*uncontrollable laughter*

Hypatia's Daughter
Hypatia's Daughter
3 years ago

Some OT stuff
Apparently Coulter (& Limbaugh) stayed in Florida to ride out Hurricane Irma (as some bizarre slap down of global warming alarmists??).
Limbaugh bailed in his private plane just before the storm hit (after convincing some of his Dittoheads not to evacuate).
Coulter stayed and I was so hoping she would be evacuated to a shelter, where she would end up eating peanut butter sandwiches and drinking bottled water supplied by FEMA. No luck.

No raccoon left behind – this is one of the great things about the internet. These videos of animals doing amazingly unanimal like things. I now consider that there is no rigid line between “dumb animals” and “smart” humans” – it is a continuous spectrum, with many animals crowding very close to humans in the ability to think out problems.

Ooglyboggles
3 years ago

@Jesalin
Solidarity sister. Hang in there, your goal is almost in your grasp.

Banananana dakry: Fat, Short-Haired, and Deranged
Banananana dakry: Fat, Short-Haired, and Deranged
3 years ago

@Gussie Jives

And here I was thinking select parts of Cocytus, the very lowest part of Hell. Namely Antenora, the bit for traitors against one’s country and the citizens thereof. Freezing everything off next door to Satan seems oddly appropriate.

(((Podkayne Lives)))
(((Podkayne Lives)))
3 years ago

I am no fan of Sarah Huckabee, but the ‘looks like she’s asking to talk to your manager’ line has long since gone stale as a way to trash women. It’s a way to imply that any (older) woman being assertive is an entitled bitch. I don’t like it.

(((Podkayne Lives)))
(((Podkayne Lives)))
3 years ago

Okay. I know that the right wing conspiracy about the Clintons murdering people have been around since the early 90’s, but DNA evidence? They can’t possibly think that Hillary Clinton physically killed anyone instead of hiring goons, can they? Even if she did, what good is getting her DNA without having access to crime scene DNA to compare it to?

If these folks wanted to think about this stuff in a rational manner, we wouldn’t have spent so much time thinking about how Barack Obama’s grandparents put a fake birth announcement in the Honolulu newspapers because reasons.

(((Podkayne Lives)))
(((Podkayne Lives)))
3 years ago

I’m wondering if he wants to analyze her DNA for variants correlated with diseases to push the sick Hillary narrative?

But…like…who cares? She lost the election. Her health is now irrelevant to the public.