By David Futrelle
Sarah Huckabee Sanders wants an ESPN commenter fired for having an opinion about Trump that she doesn’t like. Meanwhile, no one can stop her terrible father from making awful jokes on Twitter. Meanwhile, Apple introduces some new face recognition thingy.
On to the Tweets:
At WH podium, @PressSec Sanders says @JemeleHill's comments calling POTUS a white supremacist were "outrageous" and "a fireable offense"
— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) September 13, 2017
Imagine her reaction if someone had falsely accused Trump of not being a citizen of this country https://t.co/y0ytWq6fNz
— Dan Pfeiffer (@danpfeiffer) September 13, 2017
Trump, 2016: People are too politically correct!
Trump White House: YOU MUST RESPECT THE SANCTITY OF MUH FEELINGS! https://t.co/3iDpF3J3YQ
— L O L G O P (@LOLGOP) September 13, 2017
https://twitter.com/djlavoie/status/908041553050062849
Sarah Huckabee Sanders always looks like she just asked to see your manager. pic.twitter.com/LetmqQGREL
— shauna (@goldengateblond) September 13, 2017
Meanwhile, no one can stop her father from making an endless succession of barely comprehensible “jokes” on Twitter.
Leave @tedcruz alone! He didn't like PORN-he liked CORN and it was his first overture to Iowa voters for 2020! Sheesh! Case closed!
— Gov. Mike Huckabee (@GovMikeHuckabee) September 12, 2017
Just got bumped from @FoxNews hit. Will instead rehearse synchronized swimming with dolphins for my appearance later on Cartoon Network.
— Gov. Mike Huckabee (@GovMikeHuckabee) September 12, 2017
Lil Kim inspects new "bedside super urinal" he made and pretends it's an H Bomb. He calls it his "Yellow submarine." pic.twitter.com/c02vSOE1Ni
— Gov. Mike Huckabee (@GovMikeHuckabee) September 3, 2017
Sarah, please talk to him.
In other news, apparently you can use your face to unlock iPhones now even though this is actually kind of a stupid thing?
Have we learned nothing?! pic.twitter.com/bhTXp5w2Ul
— Troy Hunt (@troyhunt) September 12, 2017
https://twitter.com/ComicPrintingUK/status/907714163564273664
In other other news:
https://twitter.com/PenzeyMoog/status/908098668301078529
Trump still hasn't signed a joint resolution condemning white supremacy passed unanimously by the House and Senate https://t.co/XsFze6oIaY
— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) September 13, 2017
The widow of the Indian man murdered in Kansas in February anti-immigrant hate crime now faces deportation from US. https://t.co/gSOx4T3Zat
— Patrick Chovanec (@prchovanec) September 13, 2017
Note to headline writers: Please do not ever begin a headline with "Ted Cruz Fingers Staffer"https://t.co/87POUC5Ajl
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) September 12, 2017
https://twitter.com/pattymo/status/908076373239103488
You might be full of yourself, but you'll never be Vox Day-wearing-a-Vox Day-shirt full of yourself. pic.twitter.com/d3v4IzonUJ
— Eyes on the Right (@EyesOnTheRight) September 13, 2017
Cute animals!
https://twitter.com/awwcuteness/status/907609515952144389
https://twitter.com/Attenboroughs_D/status/907510344226152448
https://twitter.com/ItsMeowIRL/status/907186867094908930
Lol, I answered @pattymo, “He didn’t check to see if the Garanimals matched.”
“It was like some fucked-up Escher painting, ‘The Perfect Eternal Jackass.’ […] There were layers of meaning there I couldn’t begin to interpret.”
Also, Vox Day looks like a bad photocopy of Scott Adams. “Or is it the other way around in reverse?” (Bugs Bunny, Bill of Hare [1962, dir. Robert McKimson])
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/sep/13/netanyahu-son-yair-antisemitic-cartoon-george-soros
Netanyahu’s son tweets a happy merchant / Soros / reptilian image.
The leadership of Israel is now “satirically” nazi. Amazing.
The request from Shkreli is super creepy. He didn’t just ask for a hair. He wanted a hair with the follicle attached. He was asking for a DNA sample!
Calling the pOTUS a bigot is a fireable offense??? But, but… HE FUCKING IS, JUST FUCKING ASK HIM!!!!!
I wuz gonna ask if this year could get any weirder… but I’m afraid to….
Weird Eddie, let me make it more normal for you:
https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2017/09/bungie-apologizes-for-destiny-2-item-that-resembles-neo-nazi-flag/
Game company get comments that a particular item in their game looks an awful lot like neo-Nazi imagery off the chans. They immediately apologize and push out an update to fix that (and, presumably, have a talk with the responsible artist).
And the comments thread goes wild! Any Ars readers here, spend a whole evening voting comments up/down. I recommend down for the neo-nazi apologists, up for the SJWs.
jeez I hope the thousands of people retweeting Huckabee are doing it to show people how pathetic he is… there’s no other reasonable explanation.
Huckabee on Cartoon Network? Pretty sure even the writers of “Teen Titans Go!” wouldn’t find him funny
*Go
@dr. ej,
Uhm, WHY would Shkelri want Hilary’s DNA for? Is he going to clone her for some nefarious purpose? Or is he testing her for what (perscription) drug(s) she’s on, and wishes to make that public?
@Redsilkphoenix
I don’t know! That’s part of what makes it so creepy.
I’m sure the goal is just to send the message that this kind of harassment is what female candidates should expect. It’s to intimidate her and put her in her place.
@PeeVee,
Ah-ha! I has found you and followed you on the Twitters xx
That is all
@numerobis
So, that led to this:
https://www.splcenter.org/hatewatch/2017/05/08/what-kek-explaining-alt-right-deity-behind-their-meme-magic
which in turn led to this:
Waitaminnit … you mean the god of the alt-right, that bunch of racist, xenophobic, homophobic, misogynistic, and transphobic jerknuts, is genderfluid?
Bahahahahahahahaha …
In studies that surprise no one at all, Trumplethinskin voters seeing a photo of a black person get angry and can change their political views. But it’s mean to call them racists.
I can’t wait for that Free Speech event at Berkeley! Bannon, Coulter, and whatshisface are going to LAY INTO the White House for this! It’s going to be glorious as they raise their voices as one denouncing this attack on a woman of colour exercising her First Amendment rights! And as they do, PewDiePie fans across the land are going to join in, raging against the idea that someone might lose their livelihood for just words, and the world will hear their song of outrage ring around the world like a choir of angry angels that will tear down this assault on freedom of speech!
WWTH:
You’re more than likely right about the reason for stealing the hair. However, I’ll just imagine instead that the nefarious plan was something out of a superhero comic book instead. Much more fun. >:D
Let’s see here…Shkelri gains Hilary’s DNA at last, and uses it to create a series of clones, all with the intent of handing them out to the original Hiliary’s enemies, to abuse and degrade them at will. He made a huge bunch of them, all for men who held a grudge against an uppity woman, and had an obscene amount of money to pay for one….
However, the nutrient soup used to feed the clones and quick-age them to adulthood had some…alien ingredients in it, and the clones didn’t come out exactly like Hilary. They came out with…superpowers. One came out like Storm, one like Wonder Woman, one like Ripley, one Buffy, one genderswapped Captain America, one genderswapped Batman, one genderswapped Dr. Who #6, etc, etc…you get the idea.
Each of the clones, of course, knew why they were created, and weren’t happy about it, to put it mildly. So instead of accepting that fate, they instead teamed up to use their powers to take down their would-be slave masters, and make the world a better place for all, not just rich straight white Christian men (of a certain age).
Alright, that’s not the best-written story idea ever, but it’s a lot more fun than whatever Shkelri probably had in mind.
ETA: I love the photo of the black cat with the litter of black kittens in the orange pumpkin bed. Cute. :3
I know humour is subjective, but every one of Huckabee’s gags that I’ve seen has made me think that he doesn’t really understand how jokes work.
I don’t know what Shkreli’s aiming for. He acts like he thinks he’s the smartest guy in any room, so I suspect he feels he has his future mapped out. But it’s hard to see what he wants, unless it’s “head of FDA in a dystopian USA”.
All I can figure about Shkreli is that his compulsive desire to be obnoxious overcomes his rational self-interest.
I can imagine Shkreli defending his tweet in court.
“Your honor, no reasonable person would believe that a) Ms. Clinton is really running a shadowy political murder cabal and b) someone with my reputation would really pay $5000 for a mail-in hair ‘after checking that the sequence matches'”
He claimed he’s playing a citizen detective, using DNA evidence to incriminate Clinton for some political murders, or whatever the most virulent haters accuse her of.
He claimed to already have one sample that’s allegedly from Clinton, so if you send him another alleged sample and it matches the other, it shows they’re really from Clinton, and he’ll then pay you $5000 totes sure.
I suspect the main goal was to inspire more generic Clinton-hate among people who already hate Clinton and believe in conspiracy theories. Sure, someone might try to grab her hair, but someone might also decide to play rogue avenger and try to kill her. Mostly, people will just continue calling her a murderer.
Arctic Ape:
“Mr Shkreli, no reasonable person would believe that anyone would pay two million dollars for a Wu-Tang Clan album… and yet, you did”.
Just ordered a t-shirt of me wearing a t-shirt with my own face on it.
So nah…
@Pagan
I saw that! I mean, we all saw that coming forever ago, but… Given the chance to make their voice heard and get their ideas out about the economic issues about which we’re assured they’re super anxious, turns out it was racism the whole time. If only millions of people and the democratic nominee coulda told y’all
@ rugbyyogi
Only if it was your own face when you were 20 years younger.