Categories
chad thundercock incel irony alert men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny reddit self-hatred

Reddit’s Incels are furious at a literal statue for getting more action than them

Hey, big fella!

By David Futrelle

The deeply bitter dudes who call themselves Incels – short for “involuntarily celibate” — are jealous of pretty much every other human being, living or dead, aside from their fellow incel brethren. So I suppose it was only a matter of time before they started feeling jealous of inanimate objects.

In the Incels subreddit today, they’re getting mad at a literal marble statue for getting female attention of a most intimate kind — the sort of attention they’re concinved they’ll never ever get. Here’s the statue in question — a veritable marble Chad.

Apparently Reddit’s incels do not consider a woman pretending to toss the salad of a giant hunk of carved rock to be a joking matter.

“I’m laughing on the outside, and crying on the inside at this blatant display of degeneracy,” reports one commenter calling himself bigantennaemay1.

And he’s apparently the only one even pretending to laugh.

“tfw you will never get a rimjob,” laments xxxrivenmainxxx.

“Chad object > Incel,” drincelery sadly concludes.

“Normally I roll my eyes when you folks talk about ‘the degeneracy,'” reports LooksMatterToWomen, “but THIS is legit. 912 likes? Really?”

Someone called dr_gunit, meanwhile, attacks the anonymous woman in question for what he sees as her blatant height discrimination. “If that statue was shorter than 5’8 she would not be doing that,” he complains. “[S]he wants a BIG cock in her RED c*nt and she wants BIG babies.”

Big … marble babies? I’m not altogether sure that dr_gunit was paying attention in sex ed.

There’s one commenter in the bunch who doesn’t seem overly bothered by the notion of someone licking a hunk of stone. “[T[he statue doesn’t talk or smell, that’s the whole point,” TotallyTroll explains. “I’d rather lick a statue than talk to someone.”

Naturally, he is taken to task by one of the other commenters for his heresy.

“Well Aren’t you an ignorant one,” Inceldemographic thunders.

You are such a whiteknight that you are willing to appear like a dumbass just to continue being a doormat for women. Statues or any form of public property are the dirtiest surfaces around. There’s a reason why they are regularly doused in antiseptic during a SARS outbreak. If you want to be a cuck bending over backwards to defend all kinds of behaviour, go ahead, just don’t lose your IQ over it.

If these guys get this worked up over a woman pretending to rim a statue as a joke, let’s just hope they never find out about dildos.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

101 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
FereldanMagister
FereldanMagister
4 years ago

This just in, people do stupid stuff with statues. In other news, the Pope has released a statement, “still Catholic.”

Although, the point that licking a statue is not clean in the slightest IS a fair one. I suppose even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Your Gay, Elfy, Bull Riding Friend,
The Fereldan Magister

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I honestly wonder, when these men look up and see a cloud, do they see cloud women rejecting them to be with cloud Chad?

Young man yells at cloud.

Now I’m picturing incels getting mad because hurricane Irma didn’t hit them. What a hypergamous slut going for large wealthy Florida and tropical paradise islands instead of hanging out over their houses! They should just rename every hurricane Stacey! Cause that’s all they are! Filthy no good Staceys with eyewalls that look like roast beef!

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago
Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
4 years ago

“Hurricane Stacey turns around after approaching US Virgin Islands, makes rapid landfall in West Africa instead and somehow makes it inland towards Chad without diminishing into cat “lady”. See our direct report from Virgin Islanders complaining about their lack of hurricane action.”

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Hurricane Stacey is predicted to weaken after Chad’s alpha landmass weakens her. But she is projected to regain enough strength after becoming a bitter and lonely feminist to head for Japan and destroy the sexbot factories in order to keep MGTOW from happily leaving the sexual marketplace.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
4 years ago

I choose to believe that the lady in the picture was making tuba sounds while she was doing that.

JennyWren
JennyWren
4 years ago

Thanks to everyone who dared dip into r/incel. It sounds like you’re expected to slink off quietly, so incels who get laid might not necessarily leave any evidence of their changed status behind on the subreddit.

That’s kinda sad. If one of the regulars round here disappeared, we’d definitely notice and hope they were okay, but there it seems like as soon as you have sex they don’t want anything to do with you. I guess you would spoil the angst-fantasy that they’re permanently outcast from society in some way.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

I get child support checks every month from the Easter Island heads.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

I get child support checks every month from the Easter Island heads.

The moai do actually have full bodies, including those bits. 🙂

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

The bodies were buried for some reason; but this is what they’re like when excavated:

http://www.hoax-slayer.com/images/easter-statues-3jpg

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

The bodies were buried for some reason, but this is what they look like when excavated:

comment image

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

@Alan – I know the moai are full-bodied, but the idea of heads (w/o the relevant bits) cutting in front of incels to receive feeeemale ministrations is way funnier.

Well, to me anyway. 🙂

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

Well look at him. That canthial tilt, those chunky wrists, and he is quite tall. Those poor incels never stood a chance.

#chadmoai

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

Christ the Redeemer is even taller and chaddier. Too bad he’s off the market.

NicolaLuna
NicolaLuna
4 years ago

I love the lack of awareness behind bullet point 4 though. ‘Women are so fickle. Before she got to know me she seemed quite keen; now she doesn’t want anything to do with me.’

Amazing that he’s found a way to make it her fault.

I just can’t imagine why she wouldn’t like him. It’s a mystery.

The Adjunct
The Adjunct
4 years ago

“I’m laughing on the outside, and crying on the inside at this blatant display of degeneracy,” reports one commenter calling himself bigantennaemay1

Hahahahahaa I’m laughing forreals on the outside. Shush! Nobody tell the incels that I have a photo of me riding Stalin’s moustache! (Taken on top of a massive toppled bust of Stalin in a Soviet statuary graveyard in Tallinn.)

Stalin statue >>>> incels, sorry not sorry! OH MY THE LEFTIST DEGENERACY!!

Offtopic: mum, the dogs and I all made it through Irma intact! Thank you so much for your well wishes, it definitely helped me make it through! We are fully powered and up and running, we got very very lucky that the storm kinda veered inland just before reaching our area. Much love to all of you from us!!

Hypatia's Daughter
Hypatia's Daughter
4 years ago

Is this also a “blatant display of degeneracy” cause, ya know, a guy is doing it?

NSFW (and incel snowflakes) !

https://downtrend.com/71superb/teen-who-faked-oral-sex-with-jesus-statue-faces-2-year-sentence

AsAboveSoBelow, Deviated Preevert
AsAboveSoBelow, Deviated Preevert
4 years ago

Christ the Redeemer is a beta weakling next to the Korean “Jacked Jesus” statue.
comment image

cripdyke
cripdyke
4 years ago

If you want to be a cuck bending over backwards to defend all kinds of behaviour,

Bending, maybe. But I don’t think the appeal for the (alleged) cuck is bending over backwards.

Maybe I’m wrong.

In any case, that picture is hysterical. I so love it.

Schnookums Von Ghostface Fancypants Killer
Schnookums Von Ghostface Fancypants Killer
4 years ago

*Looks at Moai statue pictures*

I’ll be in my bunk

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@The Adjunct
A) I’ve been thinking about what to do to the Stalin statue in my town to piss these guys off, so thanks for the ideas, and B) so glad you and your family made it through safely.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
4 years ago

@The Adjunct

Offtopic: mum, the dogs and I all made it through Irma intact! Thank you so much for your well wishes, it definitely helped me make it through! We are fully powered and up and running, we got very very lucky that the storm kinda veered inland just before reaching our area. Much love to all of you from us!!

So glad to hear that! Please give your mum and the dogs my very best. Posthurricane hugs to any and all who want them.

Hu's On First
Hu's On First
4 years ago

Maybe it’s too soon, but does anyone want Disney to give Anna and Elsa (from Frozen) a cousin named Irma who has power over tropical winds, and sings her own version of “Let It Go”?

tim gueguen
4 years ago

Anyone else find themselves wondering if dr_gunit actually thinks the size of a baby depends on the size of the penis of the father? Given the nonsense people believe about sex I’d be entirely unsurprised if he did believe that.

(((Podkayne Lives)))
(((Podkayne Lives)))
4 years ago

So I look at the picture, and I think, at once, “Oh, that’s tasteless,” and “Nice butt on the statue”.

And then I get the full force of the incel freakout, and I’m ready to get out there and tongue statues myself.

Between the ‘roastie’ thing and the semen damage, I’m really struck by their apparent belief that sex actually physically harms women, and that having sex with with a number of different partners is MORE harmful than sex with one.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
4 years ago

I’m really struck by their apparent belief that sex actually physically harms women

I believe that’s called “wishful thinking on their part”.

Ms Pent Youth
Ms Pent Youth
4 years ago

RE: “Semen Damage”

When I was a HIV/STI educator, I met a woman whose boyfriend had told her that if she had sex with more than one man, their semen mixed together in her womb and became poison and that’s what caused STIs.

It took me awhile to even figure out what she was asking me and then I had to try to debunk it without laugh/crying.

MarleneMcKinnon
MarleneMcKinnon
4 years ago

I know this is pointing out the obvious, but if women would rather rim a statue that touch an incel, doesn’t that say something about the incels? Oh, and they reeeaaaallllyyy need to stop referring to women as ‘femoids’. That in itself is yet another reason they never get laid, disrespectful gits.

RomiKumu (Drive By Commenter) (ஐ╹◡╹)ノ
RomiKumu (Drive By Commenter) (ஐ╹◡╹)ノ
4 years ago

I’m really struck by their apparent belief that sex actually physically harms women

I believe that’s called “wishful thinking on their part”.

I don’t understand this either, because if sex did physically harm women every time wouldn’t that explain why women don’t want sex with them? Or then why would women be super eager to ride the cock carousel if it hurt all the time?

Yes, I know

We should come up with a logical fallacy bingo card for when David reports on these incel threads. When you BINGO! you get a free kitten.

comment image

Zemyla
Zemyla
4 years ago

Is “semen damage” a supported damage type? What spells deal semen damage? And can you get resistance or immunity to it?

Nicki
Nicki
4 years ago

Fools, all they have to do is build their own perfect statue, fall hopelessly in love with it, and then Aphrodite will bring it to life. That’s just science.

Paradoxical Intention - Mobile
Paradoxical Intention - Mobile
4 years ago

@Nicki: Hercules tried that in the animated series, and I imagine that the incels won’t fare much better with their views on women. Sorry, feeemales.

I just imagine the incels would be mad that Aphrodite (a married woman, by the way) won’t fuck them when she shows up.

Moggie
Moggie
4 years ago

OMG, Korean Swole Jesus is hilarious! What was the artist thinking? Judging by the expression on his face, he’s about to rip out those nails and smite anyone who lifteth not.

PaganReader - Misandrist Spinster

Is this also a “blatant display of degeneracy” cause, ya know, a guy is doing it?

NSFW (and incel snowflakes) !

https://downtrend.com/71superb/teen-who-faked-oral-sex-with-jesus-statue-faces-2-year-sentence

That would happen in my state.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

2 year sentence? So, one gets more jail time for raping a statue than raping an actual person? Of course they do.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
4 years ago

I’d love to hear their rationalization for this. “Statues can’t fight back” maybe? “Statues can’t help it if their skirts are too short and so they’re leading people on”?

Bah. Victimless crimes get severe penalties. Actually victimizing people gets a slap on the wrist, unless you victimize rich white cishet people.

Hurry up Musk with that man-rated reusable Falcon. I want off this planet.

Mattie
Mattie
4 years ago

Incels make conservative politicians look self-aware and cognizant of irony.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
4 years ago

@Mattie

Incels make conservative politicians look self-aware and cognizant of irony.

Incels make me look like a genius, a diplomat,* and a saint.

*Wait, wait, I actually am a diplomat. An ambassador, in fact. It’s just that no one else applied for my position.

Christina Nordlander, Keyboard Battlesister
Christina Nordlander, Keyboard Battlesister
4 years ago

@AsAboveSoBelow, Deviated Preevert

That’s not Jesus, that’s Conan while he was crucified by the bad guys!

Liberal Librarian
Liberal Librarian
4 years ago

OK, so I just discovered both Incels and this blog yesterday (I know, I’m sheltered). Wow, I have a whole new group to whom I can direct my Schadenfreude. I love the Intertubes.

Skeptic
Skeptic
4 years ago

For those of you interested in more sightings of incels’ insanity in the wild, try https://rantsofanincel.wordpress.com . Oh boy. I posted there a few times as “Anonymous” but was quickly banned, of course.

Executive summary: the blog owner is in favor of rape, murdering women at random, denying women the right to vote, and rants in public against his own mother for “teaching him to be a nice guy”, a feminist plot to emasculate men. Yet he has NO IDEA why women are not attracted to him.

Skeptic
Skeptic
4 years ago

BTW, the lack of self-awareness by the commentators on the blog is astounding, too. E.g., one of them declared that, in “revenge” for women not giving him sex, he had decided to become a “MGTOW monk”. Or, in other words, he is going to “avenge” 20-30 years of loneliness and celibecy by having another 20 -30 years of lomeliness and celibacy. That’ll show ’em!

The Chubby Sabertooth
The Chubby Sabertooth
4 years ago

Do Incels ever realize why nobody wants them? I’ll give a few hints:
It’s not their looks,
It’s not their weight,
It’s not the fact they’re sexually inexperienced,
Did they give up?
OK
It’s their toxic personalities!
Plot twist

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
4 years ago

@Skeptic: Comment policy pls.

Skeptic
Skeptic
4 years ago

@Surplus: you mean the post that was not published as off-topic (I suppose)? Sorry about that, won’t do it again…

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@Skeptic

You used the word insanity to refer to the incel world view. Not only is misogyny not recognized as an illness in the DSM, it’s bad form to armchair diagnose even if it were. There’s more info in the comments policy if you’re interested.

Skeptic
Skeptic
4 years ago

Ah, I see. You are correct. The comments policy recognizes that the use of such words as “insanity” or “crazy” is often used casually without intending it to mean the person described is actually psychotic (which is indeed the way I meant the term) but requests not to use those terms even casually in the comments.

Fair enough, will do. Sorry for violating the policy, it wasn’t intentional. A strict rule, but I can see the motivation behind it. The intention is to avoid endless bickering about the sense in which somebody “really meant” this or that word. In any case it’s a private blog and it’s the owner’s right to have any comments policy they wish.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
4 years ago

The intention is to avoid endless bickering about the sense in which somebody “really meant” this or that word.

The intention is to avoid splash damage, and to avoid giving misogynists and other bigots an out for their behavior.

Skeptic
Skeptic
4 years ago

Found a very good article on the online “incel” community here

It carefully distinguishes between real support groups for lonely men, and the woman-hating subculture of the Reddit “incels” and similar groups.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

I missed how Skeptic ‘splained the crazy-talk section of the comments to us. Good times.