By David Futrelle
Over the weekend, the UK’s prestigious Daily Star ran an important work of serious journalism warning of an impending, if underappreciated, threat to humankind. In an article with the sobering headline “Sex robot ARMIES: Fears hackers could create killer cyborgs and turn technology on punters,” the Star informed the poor punters of the word that the sexbots they’ve been longing for might just take up arms against them. Or at least knives. And possibly welding torches.
In an interview with the Star, sexy robot expert Nick Patterson noted that evil hackers could
hack into a robot or a robotic device and have full control of the connections, arms, legs and other attached tools like in some cases knives or welding devices.
Bad news, fellas, because then your sexy robot friend, who could “be upwards of 200 pounds, and very strong” might just cut off your johnson, or perhaps weld it to something.
This dramatic claim, which has been bouncing around assorted other media outlets for the past several days, has been greeted with more than a little skepticism in the somewhat sexbot-obsessed Men Going Their Own Way subreddit.
As far as Reddit’s MGTOWs are concerned, articles like the one in the Star are clearly a last, desperate attempt by the world’s “bioc*nts” — that is, actual female humans — to scare men away from the sexy sexbots that MGTOWs think will soon make real women obsolete.
“The shaming didn’t work, so now they try the scare tactic,” comments someone called wathon in a thread on the alleged stabby sexbot menace. “They are getting desperate.”
“Holy shit women are terrified kek,” adds Highly_Literal.
And besides, the MGTOWs agree, there’s no way their sexy sexbots could possibly be hacked.
“Deactivate the wireless network adapter. Install software/firmware updates via wired/direct connection methods,” notes gantz_au. “Problem solved.”
“Download only 1st party official software if you need to update it with new dick sucking techniques and that’s the end of your bot killing you fear,” adds Makonar. “As [with] everything that doesn’t involve women, it can be easily solved with a simple solution.”
Even those who think there’s a chance their future sexbots could go all stabby on them think death by sexbot would still be preferable to life with a “bioc*nt.”
“[W[omen get hacked by social media into destroying the men they are with all the time,” declares redditrat99.”At least the robot is decent about it and just kills you and doesn’t make you suffer.”
“Still safer than banging a real c*nt and going through family court,” adds buster2209.
“[F]rom my POV it’s still better to be killed by sexbot then to be divorce raped and lose all my progress and money that I made over the years,” notes WWladCZ, who apparently thinks that life works like vintage video games that didn’t save your progress.
“Beats a slow horrible agonizing death being married to a real woman,” Silver-Noxx jokes. “At least we’ll die with a smile on our faces.”
Not if she comes at you with a welding torch, or even a pointed stick.
I guarantee you that each and every one of these dudes will eventually be murdered by sexbots who haven’t been hacked but who are just thoroughly sick of their bullshit.
Think about all the delicate electronics and circuitry that would be housed inside a fully functioning sexbot. Then consider the physical abuse that a not-insignificant percentage of sex dolls receive, from slapping to stabbing to burning (because creepy abusers gonna creepily abuse). Then imagine doing those sorts of things to your laptop.
Then imagine these dudes regularly having to crate up and lug their damaged 120-lb. dolls to the UPS store and pay to ship them back to the factory, for thousands of dollars in refurbishing and a 6-8 week wait (maybe longer, if there’s a long repair queue). Rinse and repeat.
Have at it, I guess.
The problem I have with gendered AI is that female AI is almost always rendered as passive, agreeable, and easily dominated. Siri, Alexa, Cortana…all there at a moment’s whim, eager to do your bidding, there to perform emotional labor. I’m not the least bit worried that female sexbots will replace women, but I also think they’re not going to do much to dispel the perception of women as commodities and playthings, even among people who wouldn’t be caught dead using them.
@ MissEB47;
because if you don’t care about being replaced by sexbots who will (in their estimation) be more adept at meeting their needs, then you don’t care about meeting their needs…
and “that does not compute….”
The Star briefly lost its crown as the absolute worst of all the UK national newspapers when the Sunday Sport went daily, but the Daily Sport ceased publication a few years ago and I don’t think there are any other challengers.
The last time I read a copy was when I was waiting for a haircut and one happened to be lying around – and I was strangely mesmerised by the fact that outside the sports pages it contained absolutely nothing that I would consider to be actual news, despite it purporting to be a newspaper. The Sun and Mirror may be downmarket, but they do at least provide proper news coverage.
Although admittedly the Star appears to be the only British tabloid running this important story, so I’ll be laughing on the other side of my face if it turns out to be true.
Out of morbid curiosity, is there an article detailing this particular strain of horror?
I wonder why these fools think we care about sex bots??
@[email protected]
From The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women by Jessica Valenti (Seal Press, 2009)
Content Warning: Violence, mutilation
@Alan It’s probably a regional thing, but I would called that “being in the ether”. In your example, I might say something like “That dandelions to latex thing has been in the ether lately”. Baba Yaga has been back in the ether recently. I keep seeing references to her.
@Pie
Oh god, it is! You have to boil the hard ones regularly, wipe them with disinfectant if they have machine parts and then there is the cheap stuff that can’t stand either and you have to use tons of…
Or so I heard <.<
(Jokes aside: Keep your toys clean, avoid infection, drink your school and stay in milk)
@banned
https://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/248414/this-guys-job-is-to-fix-the-broken-vaginas-of-realdolls-nsfw/
Now, pause briefly to consider the existence of this: http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/sex-robots-frigid-settings-rape-simulation-men-sexual-assault-a7847296.html
And finally, note the history of various murderers (especially serial killers) who started out mutilating and killing animals. Isn’t the future a wonderful place to be.
@Buttercup Q. Skullpants
This article addresses that.
https://qz.com/911681/we-tested-apples-siri-amazon-echos-alexa-microsofts-cortana-and-googles-google-home-to-see-which-personal-assistant-bots-stand-up-for-themselves-in-the-face-of-sexual-harassment/
It went over about as well as you can imagine.
OT, but Fox is talking about the “alt-left” taking the Red Pill, and it features our old friend Candace Owens (Social Autopsy)
http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2017/09/13/liberals-sick-alt-left-are-taking-red-pill.html
There was actually an interesting report called “Our sexual future with robots” that brings up the very topic, talking about how its possible sex robots could be used to reinforce heteronormative behavior and the commodification of women. I disagreed with some of her statements regarding porn, but she brought up valid points and that’s why I think its so important for everyone to really get up to speed on such topics.
Thinking about MGTOW getting dick-stabbed by sexbots is funny, but the rest of society needs to start pondering how to handle the massive, massive explosion of ethical implications across a variety of fields. Really staggering.
*siiiiigh* Have we learned nothing from Star Trek‘s many holodeck misadventures. One power surge and the safeties are gone and it’s Worf Effect time!
Keep it low-tech, folks. I wouldn’t trust my junk to El Microsofto and I don’t think anybody else should either.
Toshiba make nuclear reactors. That’s a reassuring thought next time your laptop fucks up.
BD
Fabe
True, although some (hopefully most) would just refuse to go to a sex worker out of principle. I’ve known men who loudly stated that it “wasn’t fair” to have to pay for sex because women are “supposed” to have sex with men whenever men want. It’s a “human right” to be given sex by the object of your choice, donchano.
MissEB47
Please don’t make assumptions – amongst the women I have known/ been intimate with they are not that common. I don’t really like the idea that most women need an ‘aid’ – for most of the women I have known fingers work just fine.
This is not anti toy – I just don’t think that they are necessary – just added fun for some.
Why on earth would WOMEN be writing trash pieces for trashy tabloids because they are *SO afraid* of being ‘replaced’. Clearly some hack wrote it because it is salacious shock horror. Hack in question almost certainly a man, but it is clearly not relevant.
I don’t want to shame a man for using a doll, if he is just doing that, but it is pretty terrible reading what they do to them apart from sex. That kind of man SHOULDN’T be with any woman, so there are not many women who are going to be trying to pull men away from sexbots, when it is likely that he will be abusive. Better that he takes it out on a doll than a human.
This got me thinking of a hypothetical new ending to an imagined remake of The Stepford Wives….
If I were a screenwriter, I’d have the protagonist, Joanna, be good at computer hacking then end it like the original….but add a twist that subverts it to Hell!….
….We zoom in on the empty eyes of Joanna-bot in the supermarket….
….we zoom out from those same eyes of Joanna-bot as she stands in the kitchen, cubes of pork with a huge chef’s knife (Symbolism!)….
….Her husband approaches to caress her and says a sleazy “compliment” like, “you are my sexy pussy-bitch”….
….”Oh, yes I am….” she says as a sinister grin forms on her face, “a pussy can bear life….a bitch can….”
….”take it away!”….A BUNCH OF RAPID CUTS….RAISED KNIFE HAND….OUTSIDE WINDOW OF HOUSE AS A MAN-SCREAM IS HEARD AND BLOOD SPLATTERS….Dogs bark and howl as this happens (Symbolism! Bitches!).
….Cut to footage from a TV screen as an areal view of the town Stepford is shown, aflame, in a state of complete destruction!….
….the faint sound of women’s laughter is heard as Leslie Gore’s “You Don’t Own Me” beings to play….
….slam-cut to the credits as Gore’s song reaches normal volume as the Credits are shown.
NOW THAT’S A GOOD ENDING! THAT’S HOW IT SHOULD’VE ENDED!
What do you think, guys?
Yeah, I try not to think about the nearby Darlington station whenever possible. At least the CANDU reactors are considered among the world’s best (albeit aging out now).
Either way, given how… well, messy the acts involved are… why deal with complex electronics when a silicone sleeve will work just fine? I honestly never understood this yearning for sex-bots; like Pie has pointed out, it’s like those the most enthused about Real Dolls or sex-bots just want an object to take out their sexual frustrations and sickening mutilation fantasies on. Why bother with expensive uncanny valley sex toys when there’s some pretty solidly-sculpted sleeve designs out there now? Especially when it’s far cheaper.
That does actually bring to mind a question that clearly Star Trek wasn’t comfortable with… are there people who abuse the technology and play-act as Jack The Ripper (or Klesla or Baratus or whatever Piglet was called) in the holodecks? Does the ship’s computer record that stuff? I could see ship’s security being concerned if a crewman started doing that regularly….
@Gussie Jives:
Well, the closest we got to that was Barclay’s introductory episode, ‘Holo Pursuits’… some of what he had in there, such as how he had Troi’s duplicate dressed, were rather creepy if you think on it too much, even if it was played at least somewhat for laughs. (In that case, the real Troi being presented with that after laughing off Riker’s annoyance at seeing his duplicate being short and whiny.)
That episode suggested that the stuff probably was recorded, but that nobody actually looks at those records unless an investigation starts up for other reasons.
Lieutenant barkley got a bit carried away with some sexy holodeck programs in the next generation episode “hollow pursuits”
I am ninj’d
@ Spuki kitty, I think:
No, thanks.
@Gussie Jives
Tuvok murders a simulated Neelix in one voyager episide. I don’t recall it being taken very seriously, but maybe I misremember.
This would *probably* work in a corporate environment, provided that the Security team had the support of upper management and was allowed to get everything locked down.
But you just know that these guys are going to be on every sketchy website out there. “Download this package that installs five new personality modules for your sexbot and also allows you to catch Pokemon. FINE PRINT: Contains ads. App requires Internet Access and Full Device Permissions.”
EJ:
Just seize the means of recreation.
Zephkiel:
I think MGTOW don’t generally really know what they want from sexbots, except that they expect to get it. Kinda like incels expect a generic girlfriend to make them suddenly happy.
Pie:
20 years from now, I expect to own an internet-connected buttplug. Not because I want to tweet out of my arse, but because there’s no other choice.