By David Futrelle
Over the weekend, the UK’s prestigious Daily Star ran an important work of serious journalism warning of an impending, if underappreciated, threat to humankind. In an article with the sobering headline “Sex robot ARMIES: Fears hackers could create killer cyborgs and turn technology on punters,” the Star informed the poor punters of the word that the sexbots they’ve been longing for might just take up arms against them. Or at least knives. And possibly welding torches.
In an interview with the Star, sexy robot expert Nick Patterson noted that evil hackers could
hack into a robot or a robotic device and have full control of the connections, arms, legs and other attached tools like in some cases knives or welding devices.
Bad news, fellas, because then your sexy robot friend, who could “be upwards of 200 pounds, and very strong” might just cut off your johnson, or perhaps weld it to something.
This dramatic claim, which has been bouncing around assorted other media outlets for the past several days, has been greeted with more than a little skepticism in the somewhat sexbot-obsessed Men Going Their Own Way subreddit.
As far as Reddit’s MGTOWs are concerned, articles like the one in the Star are clearly a last, desperate attempt by the world’s “bioc*nts” — that is, actual female humans — to scare men away from the sexy sexbots that MGTOWs think will soon make real women obsolete.
“The shaming didn’t work, so now they try the scare tactic,” comments someone called wathon in a thread on the alleged stabby sexbot menace. “They are getting desperate.”
“Holy shit women are terrified kek,” adds Highly_Literal.
And besides, the MGTOWs agree, there’s no way their sexy sexbots could possibly be hacked.
“Deactivate the wireless network adapter. Install software/firmware updates via wired/direct connection methods,” notes gantz_au. “Problem solved.”
“Download only 1st party official software if you need to update it with new dick sucking techniques and that’s the end of your bot killing you fear,” adds Makonar. “As [with] everything that doesn’t involve women, it can be easily solved with a simple solution.”
Even those who think there’s a chance their future sexbots could go all stabby on them think death by sexbot would still be preferable to life with a “bioc*nt.”
“[W[omen get hacked by social media into destroying the men they are with all the time,” declares redditrat99.”At least the robot is decent about it and just kills you and doesn’t make you suffer.”
“Still safer than banging a real c*nt and going through family court,” adds buster2209.
“[F]rom my POV it’s still better to be killed by sexbot then to be divorce raped and lose all my progress and money that I made over the years,” notes WWladCZ, who apparently thinks that life works like vintage video games that didn’t save your progress.
“Beats a slow horrible agonizing death being married to a real woman,” Silver-Noxx jokes. “At least we’ll die with a smile on our faces.”
Not if she comes at you with a welding torch, or even a pointed stick.
I guarantee you that each and every one of these dudes will eventually be murdered by sexbots who haven’t been hacked but who are just thoroughly sick of their bullshit.
Hello.
I wonder… Are the MGTOW and incels not already obsolete robots themselves ? I mean, they are all out of dates.
…
Sorry.
Have a nice day.
Occasional Reader-LOL! Well, I guess they are obsolete robots anyway, since all they do is whine about women on the internet.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure they can be replaced by a cron script that invokes a Markov generator and then curl to post a new whine every $(INTERVAL). I could probably hack something like that up in half an hour, most of that spent watching it crunch a big corpus of downloaded r/mgtow rants into frequency tables.
“I would rather risk being violently killed by a hacked sexbot than pay my child support” – MGTOWs, apparently.
(Also, I mentally read pointed stick” in Eric Idle’s voice. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U90dnUbZMmM )
I imagine Chad as being Ken from “Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse”. (I have kids.)
BLITD’s Ken is handsome, hunky, committed to Barbie to a comical degree, and simultaneously technically brilliant, hyperprepared and hilariously spacy.
The incels are Ryan, of course.
Wait, no, the incels can’t be Ryan. They’d think he was a total cuck, with the way he and Raquel support each other.
Why the dick? They’ve been ruined by porn, there’s no hope.
This “killer sex robots” thing sounds like an elevator pitch for a really bad soft-porn movie. Life imitates art, I suppose. But what is the deal about sex robots, anyway? Wouldn’t they be (if they ever really are developed) just sophisticated mastrubation tools?
There are a couple of problems with the premise.
The first is that such a sexbot would be expensive. My children and their friends are having incredible difficulty finding good paying jobs to be able to support themselves much less any dependents of any type. How is one to afford a sexbot worth the price?
Second, while disabling any Internet connection is obvious, who is to say that building in a requirement for connection won’t happen? You can, for example, disable as much of the tracking in your cell phone that they allow you to do, but you can’t shut it all off. The phone wouldn’t work if you could do that, so why have it at all?
It would be so much better if women would just look at how things are changing and understand that there is much they could do about this if they wanted to. I see no sign that as a group they even care to think about that right now much less be willing to do anything about that.
Women today bitch about how men aren’t what they want anymore. Who raised them? Women! Men got separated from family life no later than the outset of the Great Depression. My own grandfather traveled the country to send money home to the family and wasn’t around to help raise his kids. WWII, corporate man, the separation became worse. No matter that the job took all he had, women wanted more.
But I don’t expect women to accept any blame. They never do.
Good luck, young men! You’re going to need all you can get.