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Irma targets Tampa, a stalker plays the piano, and tiny puppies nap: Today in Tweets

Irma batters Cuba en route to Florida

By David Futrelle

Irma’s path shifts westward, putting a seriously unprepared Tampa in its path.

There’s some other news, too. But we’ll start with Irma:

In other news:

https://twitter.com/_grendan/status/905844826771476480

On a lighter note. Or maybe not?

Animal time!

https://twitter.com/awwcuteness/status/906583996297031680

Also bugs!

https://twitter.com/invisibleman_17/status/906069959670947840

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IgnoreSandra
3 years ago

About five years ago, my cousins used to live in the US Virgin Islands.

I am severely glad they don’t anymore. At this point, you could not bribe me enough to live in the Caribbean.

My sister and her family only started leaving Florida the day before yesterday. She’s fucking 40, and appears to have no capacity for making good life choices. She has three small children and only started leaving at the last minute. But no, she paid for a vacation and she wasn’t going to cut it short at all. Ugh.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

That piano creep should get media attention alright, just not that kind.

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

The pair recently split up after a four-month relationship, and the break-up has left him devastated.

Dude. She’s not the love of your life. Get over it. We all go through breakups. You’re not special.

PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Perpetually Ignored, Invisible but Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

Ah, good old Eivind Berge. I wonder if he still with Emma the Emo, who used to comment here?

He’s still a rape/pedophilia apologist. Ptooey.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

So many telling details in that piano stalker story:

– He’s 34 years old.
– They had been dating for only 4 months.
– He calls her Rapunzel.
– He unironically uses the word “whimsical” when describing his own actions.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

That puppy took a dive in round 6, and now both aminals are splitting the spoils 😀

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

What’s the problem? That piano tactic would work in a rom com, and those are totally true to life, right?

Bina
3 years ago

“I know people in my situation will send flowers or text or write letters but that only ever seems to make things worse. I wanted to do something that she might see, to let her know how much I love her, that she can see it and then take it or leave it.”

Dude, she’s already seen it. She left it. Take a HINT.

IgnoreSandra
3 years ago

Ugh. I hope that piano eats his fingers.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

If Florida was powered by wind and solar there would be no electricity in the state this weekend.

Long live fossil fuels.

1) If Florida was powered by wind and solar, maybe there wouldn’t be a category 5 hurricane barreling down on it right now.

2) There are these things called “batteries”.

3) All those fossil fuel-powered cars, unable to go anywhere because the gas stations ran out of fossil fuels. Yep, that’s a real reliable energy source.

This man won’t stop playing the piano

“I didn’t get the outcome I wanted, so I’m going to use public shaming, movie tropes, and media pressure to FORCE her to respond to me.”

She already said no. If she were going to change her mind, she would have done it on her own, without needing to be guilted into it by a Chopsticks marathon. Now she’ll be dragged into the media spotlight and forced to justify her choice, as if “no” in and of itself isn’t sufficient. Now she has to come up with an even more ironclad no with enough weight to cancel out this guy’s media sympathy, or else she risks coming across as the bad guy. This is so manipulative and coercive.

Run, ex-girlfriend. Run and do not look back.

Bina
3 years ago

Lulzy Wonkette has discovered the Piano Man. Prepare!

And oh yeah, speaking of Piano Men:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxEPV4kolz0

Dude, maybe take your schtick to a bar where you can hear all the other mopes whining and belching about the women who left them.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent + Bard of the New Movement
3 years ago

Honestly, I’d probably edge the dude off the seat and start making up shitty compositions on the spot to fuck with him.

Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
3 years ago

Help me, someone, please… I dozed off and woke up in the middle of a universe -size bad acid trip….

How bad? You ask?? This bad: two fucking HURRICANES are tearing the underbelly from this nation, and it’s the only thing that doesn’t seem completely surreal….

JS
JS
3 years ago

Good thing about Mr. Piano until she comes back… He’ll be a much better pianist after all that practice. Or he’ll get arrested for disturbing the peace maybe.

The rest of it, not show much. Damn, I’m beginning to find myself mis-typing in entire words. That was not an auto-correct fail.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

@Weird Eddie

This bad: two fucking HURRICANES are tearing the underbelly from this nation, and it’s the only thing that doesn’t seem completely surreal….

Between the hurricanes and the fires, I feel like I went to sleep and woke up in SimCity 2000 on disaster mode. Next we’ll be attacked by the robot alien.

Nequam
Nequam
3 years ago

Showing my age, but I half-expected to hear a tiny “ding!” before the caterpillar went back to the beginning of its munching arc.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

The caterpillar is nightmare stuff for me. 🙁

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

@Petal

It’s the same for me – it’s fascinating and I want to watch, but – OHMYGODISTHATITSFACELOOKAWAYLOOKAWAYLOOKAWAY

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

I think the best way to defeat this piano wankery would be for other musicians to make him look ridiculous. One tuba player can pretty much destroy a piano performance, for example. I’m not suggesting the guy’s ex should hire one: pro bono tuba must be a thing.

EJ (the Scheming Liberal Race-Traitor)

Nequam wins all internets, forever.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
3 years ago

I half-expected to hear a tiny “ding!” before the caterpillar went back to the beginning of its munching arc.

<3<3<3 🙂

Still Fiqah
Still Fiqah
3 years ago

Riding out the storm with my elderly mom, who I’m here taking care of during her cancer treatment. (I’m a Gold Coast native.) Rain in sheets. Tornadoes everywhere per my phone alerts. I needed this laugh desperately.

https://twitter.com/CSGV/status/906512170405507073

Oh…Florida.

Jojo Mojo
Jojo Mojo
3 years ago

Piano dude reminds me why the things that happen in rom-coms are not as cute when they happen in real life.

Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
Weird (thumper of trumpanzees) Eddie
3 years ago

@ Buttercup;

Next we’ll be attacked by the robot alien.

That’s Ivanka the Cyborg… see Tricia Helfer from BSG television story arc… specifically the ending of the Blood and Chrome mini….

ETA capitalize Buttercup… proper name ya know….

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
3 years ago

So Piano Man has one redeeming characteristic: he doesn’t seem to have given out his ex’s name to the media. So there’s that at least.

He sounds like an overly-dramatic handful who is way too much work, and I wish his ex the best. She did right for herself by breaking up with this guy. It’s too bad that he’s bought the social lie that loving someone really, really hard is enough to make that person love you back, because he’s making her life unnecessarily difficult right now on that basis.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Agent of the FemiNest Collective; Keeper of a Hell Toupee, and all-around Intergalactic Meanie
3 years ago

@Still Fiqah,

Why am I not surprised that a warning like that really needed to be issued? >.<

On the other hand, it did answer the question of whether it is possible to shoot straight at a target in hurricane-force winds. (Short answer: no.)

OT: is there going to be a regular open thread anytime soon? I'm feeling a need right now to vent about a customer at my workplace, his pet dog, a health inspector, and the Americans with Disabilities Act. But I'm not sure which current thread would be best for it outside of an official open thread.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
3 years ago

Stay safe my Floridians!

ChimericMind
ChimericMind
3 years ago

The Washington Post has had hurricanes rather than Trump on its front page for several days now. I’m wondering how long it will be until he gets tired of being pushed out of the spotlight by a force of nature and does something stupid/ridiculous again just to regain it. This is a prime thing to throw at one of the Alex Jones cultists– if the government really did have a weather control machine, Trump would have commandeered it by now (and also bragged about it).

Ellesar
Ellesar
3 years ago

Dear Pianoman,

It is only amazingly romantic when it is reciprocated;
right now your ‘Rapunzel’ will be reflecting on how she made the right decision, but also probably a bit worried;
you are 34 ffs, if you were HALF that age this would still be a bit off, but a man of 34 doing this is more than embarrassing and creepy;
life isn’t a rom com.

TheKND
TheKND
3 years ago

Ok, I get the guy, he thinks this is a totally romantic expression of how enduring his love and conviction is.
Can HE understand, that doing things that the lady, he is “wooing”, doesn’t really enjoy is just a massive ego-masturbation with no regard for her feelings.
Maybe that last part is EXACTLY WHY SHE BROKE UP WITH YOU!

Also: Stay save everyone.

Aerinea
Aerinea
3 years ago

Talking about the piano guy has blown up my Twitter in a way where I’m having trouble following the conversation now. And all because a friend asked me why I thought it was a creepy move on his part.

Robert Walker-Smith
Robert Walker-Smith
3 years ago

Piano Stalker reminds me of a bit from a Cracked video on pop culture.
(Paraphrased for brevity)
“They’re going to make a Harley/Joker prequel as a rom-com.”
“What? Doesn’t the Joker torture Harley into insanity so she’ll fall in love with him?”
“So it IS a rom-com!”

As we know, the only difference between psychological horror and romantic comedy is camera angles and background music.

Nequam – that was exactly what I was thinking, too.
Sinkable John – my reaction as well. Some Earthly creatures look like eldritch abominations in extreme close up. Sometimes I look at trees until I can see them as living entities (as distinct from inanimate objects), which is unsettling, but they’re nothing compared to tiny arthropods.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

As we know, the only difference between psychological horror and romantic comedy is camera angles and background music.

If I wasn’t already so negligent about updating my current blog, I always thought I’d like to start one that reviews romance and rom-coms as if they were horror movies. Almost all of them seem to involve stalking and/or deceit and manipulation.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
3 years ago

So far, the piano thing looks like public whining rather than stalking. I suspect there might also be actual stalking going on, and he might be covertly seeking feedback that will generally validate his ex-girlfriend obsession.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
3 years ago

the only difference between psychological horror and romantic comedy is camera angles and background music.

QFT

Still Fiqah
Still Fiqah
3 years ago

@Redsilkphoenix: There’s a South Floridian tradition of hurricane parties. We cook up a bunch of food while we have power, and sit around eating and drinking a LOT of alcohol. It takes the edge off. HOWEVER – this is never done with Category 3 and up storms. Because you need a clear head. Otherwise you start doing reckless things, like taking pictures of yourself in front of the churning, furious ocean, or playing in flood waters, or SHOOTING AT HURRICANES.

@David: Thank you, we will!

EVERYBODY ELSE IN AMERICA’S MOST PENIS-SHAPED STATE: Take care, stay vigilant, stay safe and stay INSIDE because it’s real out here. #FloridaStrong

Hypatia's Daughter
Hypatia's Daughter
3 years ago

If Florida was powered by wind and solar there would be no electricity in the state this weekend. Long live fossil fuels.

Unless your solar setup was damaged (i.e. solar panels and storage batteries), you would be up & running as soon as the storm passed.
If your power comes in by power lines and they get damaged, you would be shit out of luck until they are repaired. (I was in Atlanta during Hurricane Opal. A tree branch snapped a power line feeding our subdivision – no other damage – and we were without power for 3 days.)

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

@Robert

It may be boringly euclidian, but it’s still nightmare fuel. Lovecraft’s got nothing on our tiny neighbors.

Did I ever mention how you sometimes hear the spiders in this house before you see them ? They’re that big. I’m gonna crawl under something now and hope to fuck it’s not already occupied.

MrsObedMarsh
MrsObedMarsh
3 years ago

Update: Piano Man quit after realizing he was making himself “the largest fool in the West Country” and embarrassing his ex, but apparently not before some rando punched him in the face.

https://inews.co.uk/essentials/news/uk/bristol-piano-player-got-punched-head-thats-not-stopped-playing/