By David Futrelle
For years I’ve been chronicling the manosphere’s obsession with the so-called “cock carousel,” that wondrous merry-go-round of endless zipless sex allegedly enjoyed by every twentysomething Western woman, but off-limits to all Western men except the Chadliest top twenty percent.
Well, it looks like I’ve finally found the first rider of this sex-go-round, and she’s a bosomy fictional slattern named Elaine, brought to life in the 1963 pulp novel This is Elaine by someone called Jason Hytes. If the front cover is any indication, Elaine was not really that into shirts.
I have not read the book — which you can purchase used for $28.50 on Amazon — but the back cover gives a bit more detail on the perverse world of Elaine and her naughty friends.
Wait, wouldn’t the carousel have to still be working for anyone to get off?
H/T — @pulplibrarian, whose tweet was pointed out to me by former regular WHTM commenter @pecunium; I found the back cover on Pop Sensation.
Fornication Wheel
Lubricant slide
Tunnel of Butts
Haunted Brothel
Chris Evans
I prefer to think it’s Lydia from the outwardly respectable novels of Angela Thirkell. Her preferred, er, mount on the roundabout at the fair is the cock.
“I say, someone’s on my cock.”
“It’s only my cousin Hilary,” said Delia. “He won’t mind changing, will you, Hilary…”
Mr Grant, really quite glad of an excuse to dismount, offered his cock to Lydia, who immediately flung a leg over it, explaining that she had put on a frock with pleats on purpose, as she always felt sick if she rode sideways…
“I know that once Lydia is on her cock nothing will get her off.”
This looks like vintage 50s era porn, where you had to dress up the smut with morals, or at very least insist that you were documenting this aberrant behavior for the good of humanity, so as to avoid obscenity charges.
It was a simpler time. When they had morals, and values. *cough denoting sarcasm*
Did anyone else notice the part where it says the author also wrote something called “Sex Before Six”? I seriously hope that “six” refers to a time of the day or something and not an age. I mean, these stories look trashy, but they can’t be THAT trashy right?
Yeah, I assume ‘Sex Before Six’ refers to sex in the office.
Lord, I HOPE that’s so.
If it weren’t for the Censored sign (and the suggestion of nakedness below it), you might think that Elaine was channeling her favorite Italian film star, Sophia Loren, while rolling out a pie crust.
Except for the suggestive-looking (scented?) candle behind her.
Watch out, Elaine! That thing is lit!
Elaine, honey, you and your friends have got to move out of Sexville, USA. Make a fresh start. I hear Peyton Place is nice.
Pizza pie crust?
http://www.silverscreensuppers.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/sophia.png
@Ignore Sandra
Sex in the afternoon? How utterly depraved!
@WWTH
Could be pizza pie.
But the hair needs to be short.
I’m pretty sure Sophia Loren is thinking mean thoughts about MRAs in this photo:
I don’t really get why the merry-go-round breaking down was so bad. What happened? Because I’m reading this as:
a) everyone had loads of sex
b) one day they decided not to have so much sex, probably because they were all a bit sore and tired and felt like a cuddle instead
c) merry-go-round broke down?
d) ?
This is definitely a MGTOW/incel book because the absence of sex makes the world end.
I think Elaine needs to move somewhere else. A small town where everyone judges her high sex drive should be in her dust asap.
Why the fuck do people say “pizza pie”? Pizza is not pie, ok? Also, Deano, if you think pizza looks like the moon, find a better restaurant.
lol Moggie, never had deep dish?
(also unrelated, the thought of rolling pizza dough hurts my soul)
@Irene
What is this book. I need to read it
The funny thing about this metaphor, also, is that carousel rides tend to be more or less monogamous, do they not? Like, you might switch mounts between rides if you don’t have to get back in line, but have you ever gotten off and switched in the middle of one?
@Boogerghost
Uh huh huh huh huh huh, etc.
Alan:
Spoken like a true kinkster.
I dread the day when MGTOWs find out about the reverse cock carousel. Oh lord.
@Moggie
It’s actually “pizza pi” because the pizza is circular.
My brain is trying to reconcile “Sexville, U.S.A.” and a naked woman with a climate in which, by necessity, people walk around in flannels and duck boots 9 months of the year.
Now I’m starting to wonder what goes on at L.L. Bean behind closed doors.
?
Has Scildfreja got her own clothing brand now?
@alan – duck boots are the kind of US equivalent of wellies – but they have a ribbed rubberised bottom and a leather (or pleather) laceable top.
@ChimericMind
*snort*
Sorry about that! It was that kind of class and I’m still in the silly zone. Another student had set her laptop’s text-to-speech to a porn actress’ voice – her essay draft sounded amazing.
@Alan,
Don’t over-exert yourself on potato research; it’s real. I just find it hilarious and enchanting. I’m with Marge here:
@ rugbyyogi
Just Googled. Intriguing. You know we have that rule that you wear brown if you’re West of Ascot and black if you’re not; so they probably wouldn’t work here; you’d be in breach wherever you were. 🙂
Posh people here wear ‘Hunter’ wellies. They’re like regular wellies except they have a drawstring and say Hunter on them. See any celebrity pretending to slum it at Glastonbury for details.