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alpha asshole cock carousel alpha males entitled babies evil sexy ladies men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny that 80%/20% bullshit

Is this buxom fictional slattern the very first rider of the infamous “cock carousel?”

I’m not sure I want to know what a broken cock carousel looks like

By David Futrelle

For years I’ve been chronicling the manosphere’s obsession with the so-called “cock carousel,” that wondrous merry-go-round of endless zipless sex allegedly enjoyed by every twentysomething Western woman, but off-limits to all Western men except the Chadliest top twenty percent.

Well, it looks like I’ve finally found the first rider of this sex-go-round, and she’s a bosomy fictional slattern named Elaine, brought to life in the 1963 pulp novel This is Elaine by someone called Jason Hytes. If the front cover is any indication, Elaine was not really that into shirts.

I have not read the book — which you can purchase used for $28.50 on Amazon — but the back cover gives a bit more detail on the perverse world of Elaine and her naughty friends.

Wait, wouldn’t the carousel have to still be working for anyone to get off?

H/T — @pulplibrarian, whose tweet was pointed out to me by former regular WHTM commenter @pecunium; I found the back cover on Pop Sensation.

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IgnoreSandra
3 years ago

Are there other rides besides the merry go round? Is there a Tilt a Whirl?

I have an image of a very adult theme park now. I’ve worked out a price for a cock carousel, now I just need to figure some other rides…

Boner coaster

Tit-a-whirl

Bump and grind cars

Fornication Wheel

Lubricant slide

Tunnel of Butts

Haunted Brothel

Chris Evans

Irene
Irene
3 years ago

I prefer to think it’s Lydia from the outwardly respectable novels of Angela Thirkell. Her preferred, er, mount on the roundabout at the fair is the cock.

“I say, someone’s on my cock.”

“It’s only my cousin Hilary,” said Delia. “He won’t mind changing, will you, Hilary…”

Mr Grant, really quite glad of an excuse to dismount, offered his cock to Lydia, who immediately flung a leg over it, explaining that she had put on a frock with pleats on purpose, as she always felt sick if she rode sideways…

“I know that once Lydia is on her cock nothing will get her off.”

Space Oddity
Space Oddity
3 years ago

This looks like vintage 50s era porn, where you had to dress up the smut with morals, or at very least insist that you were documenting this aberrant behavior for the good of humanity, so as to avoid obscenity charges.

It was a simpler time. When they had morals, and values. *cough denoting sarcasm*

Dr. Thang
Dr. Thang
3 years ago

Did anyone else notice the part where it says the author also wrote something called “Sex Before Six”? I seriously hope that “six” refers to a time of the day or something and not an age. I mean, these stories look trashy, but they can’t be THAT trashy right?

Bobbie La Bomb
Bobbie La Bomb
3 years ago

Yeah, I assume ‘Sex Before Six’ refers to sex in the office.

Lord, I HOPE that’s so.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

If it weren’t for the Censored sign (and the suggestion of nakedness below it), you might think that Elaine was channeling her favorite Italian film star, Sophia Loren, while rolling out a pie crust.

Except for the suggestive-looking (scented?) candle behind her.

Watch out, Elaine! That thing is lit!

Elaine, honey, you and your friends have got to move out of Sexville, USA. Make a fresh start. I hear Peyton Place is nice.

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
3 years ago

@Ignore Sandra

Chris Evans

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Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

Sex in the afternoon? How utterly depraved!

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

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Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

@WWTH

Could be pizza pie.

But the hair needs to be short.

I’m pretty sure Sophia Loren is thinking mean thoughts about MRAs in this photo:

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Violet the Vile, Wielder of an Ideologically Weaponized Vagina
Violet the Vile, Wielder of an Ideologically Weaponized Vagina
3 years ago

I don’t really get why the merry-go-round breaking down was so bad. What happened? Because I’m reading this as:

a) everyone had loads of sex

b) one day they decided not to have so much sex, probably because they were all a bit sore and tired and felt like a cuddle instead

c) merry-go-round broke down?

d) ?

This is definitely a MGTOW/incel book because the absence of sex makes the world end.

I think Elaine needs to move somewhere else. A small town where everyone judges her high sex drive should be in her dust asap.

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

Why the fuck do people say “pizza pie”? Pizza is not pie, ok? Also, Deano, if you think pizza looks like the moon, find a better restaurant.

CleverForAGirl - microprostitute
CleverForAGirl - microprostitute
3 years ago

lol Moggie, never had deep dish?

(also unrelated, the thought of rolling pizza dough hurts my soul)

Violet the Vile, Wielder of an Ideologically Weaponized Vagina
Violet the Vile, Wielder of an Ideologically Weaponized Vagina
3 years ago

@Irene

What is this book. I need to read it

Boogerghost
Boogerghost
3 years ago

The funny thing about this metaphor, also, is that carousel rides tend to be more or less monogamous, do they not? Like, you might switch mounts between rides if you don’t have to get back in line, but have you ever gotten off and switched in the middle of one?

Pie
Pie
3 years ago

@Boogerghost

but have you ever gotten off and switched in the middle of one?

Uh huh huh huh huh huh, etc.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
3 years ago

Alan:

I’ll have to conduct further research into the potato thing.

Spoken like a true kinkster.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

I dread the day when MGTOWs find out about the reverse cock carousel. Oh lord.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

@Moggie

It’s actually “pizza pi” because the pizza is circular.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

My brain is trying to reconcile “Sexville, U.S.A.” and a naked woman with a climate in which, by necessity, people walk around in flannels and duck boots 9 months of the year.

Now I’m starting to wonder what goes on at L.L. Bean behind closed doors.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

duck boots

?

Has Scildfreja got her own clothing brand now?

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
3 years ago

@alan – duck boots are the kind of US equivalent of wellies – but they have a ribbed rubberised bottom and a leather (or pleather) laceable top.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy
3 years ago

@ChimericMind

Because of the sudden topic swerve between Mish’s first and second sentences, I thought that it was illegal to MARRY more than 50 lbs. of potatoes, which seemed like an extra-bizarre law. Less than 50 is okay, but more than 50 is terrible?

*snort*
Sorry about that! It was that kind of class and I’m still in the silly zone. Another student had set her laptop’s text-to-speech to a porn actress’ voice – her essay draft sounded amazing.

@Alan,
Don’t over-exert yourself on potato research; it’s real. I just find it hilarious and enchanting. I’m with Marge here:

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Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ rugbyyogi

duck boots are the kind of US equivalent of wellies

Just Googled. Intriguing. You know we have that rule that you wear brown if you’re West of Ascot and black if you’re not; so they probably wouldn’t work here; you’d be in breach wherever you were. 🙂

Posh people here wear ‘Hunter’ wellies. They’re like regular wellies except they have a drawstring and say Hunter on them. See any celebrity pretending to slum it at Glastonbury for details.

Wolverine's granddad (formerly Kevin)
Wolverine's granddad (formerly Kevin)
3 years ago

I think Moll Flanders and Fanny Hill may have beaten Elaine to it, even in the Americas.

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
3 years ago

@alan, they come in more colours than just black and brown – there are also blue and green bottoms. Personally, I wear Nokia boots myself. I have a fancy pair for watching rugby and basic pair for everything else.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ rugbyyogi

I spend a lot of time in mud for various reasons. But I have a thing where, unless it’s very cold, I just stay in bare feet. I figure it’s easier to shower than clean boots. I’m like that with clothes generally. If I’m going to get dirty then I’ll just strip off as much as possible. Some people may call that lazy, but I like to think of the environment. Me in a shower uses less resources than a load in the washing machine (probably).

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
3 years ago

@Alan

I figure it’s easier to shower than clean boots. I’m like that with clothes generally.

Two years ago I entered a store barefoot while on a beer run with a friend, and the security guy wouldn’t lemme in because barefoot. I asked why and got an answer with the word “hygiene” in it, muttered in a tone that indicated he wasn’t buying it either.

I yelled that I wash my feet every night, “do you clean your shoes every night !?” and he eventually let me in.

dcfcfan1
dcfcfan1
3 years ago

MGTOW to me should be about men going their own way. Embarrasing to hear the so called “MGTOWS” criticising , bitching and moaning about every fucking thing that women do. Quit whinging you child and do something with your life.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

The funny thing about this metaphor, also, is that carousel rides tend to be more or less monogamous, do they not? Like, you might switch mounts between rides if you don’t have to get back in line, but have you ever gotten off and switched in the middle of one?

I actually used to do this all the time when I was a kid. It would look to me like some of the horses moved more than the others so I’d be constantly switching if the ride wasn’t super crowded.

I guess it was an early sign that I’d grow up to be an evil slut or something.

Ellesar
Ellesar
3 years ago

Word origin of ‘slattern’
C17: probably from slattering, from dialect slatter to slop; perhaps from Scandinavian; compare Old Norse sletta to slap.

It is very telling that both slattern and slut actually refer to dirtiness and an unkempt appearance in women, but are both almost exclusively used now to insult a promiscuous or presumed promiscuous, or indeed ANY woman or girl, regardless of her appearance.

Ellesar
Ellesar
3 years ago

MGTOW to me should be about men going their own way.

I am totally in support of it. I am someone who has found intimate relationships to be the cause of much pain in my life and believe that celibacy is vastly preferable.

But MGTOW is rooted in dishonesty. These are men/ boys who cannot put their personal rejections/ failures aside and instead regard all women as being cause of them. It is, after all, easier to blame others than look at oneself and see your own flaws, and do something about them.

The process is one of disempowerment.

The first MGTOW video I saw on youtube was a young man who did NOT rage at women. Since then I have found no other. I hope he is happy, and has not joined the rest of the MGTOW’s in their bitter hate.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ sinkable john

entered a store barefoot

I live at the seaside and there’s a weird etiquette about when it’s appropriate to wear swimwear in a shop. The rule seems to be “if you can still see the beach from the store”.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Since MGTOW was always based on the concept of marriage being bad because feminism has allowed female evil to run rampant rather than on just being happily single, I don’t see a way for it to be rehabilitated at all. It was only ever about outrage that they aren’t allowed to abuse and rape their wives and trap their wives in the marriage.

It’s why they obsess about marrying teenagers, buying foreign brides or moving to a country where they think feminism doesn’t exist in order to find a poor and powerless woman to exploit.

Gussie Jives
Gussie Jives
3 years ago

So wait, adultery makes an entire town’s business community fall into woman-y hands? And was Eastport the original name before it was decided that it would be more honest to just called it “Sexville”? Sorta like a reverse “Berlin, Ontario becomes Kitchener during WWI” kinda thing?

Part of me is morbidly curious as to how the dots are connected from extramarital affairs to “town’s entire economic vitality is ruined by butterfinger womz.”

Speaking of sexy midway rides, that’s one way to boost revenues at next year’s Canadian National Exhibition! I think we should suggest it in a carefully crafted email campaign. *ahem* “Dear Mayor John Tory….”

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

@dcfcfan1

the so called “MGTOWS” criticising , bitching and moaning

Bruh you gotta try a little bit harder than this.

IgnoreSandra
3 years ago

@WWTH

You are smart and entirely correct.

Carousels:

I’ve never liked carousels, and I like them a lot less as metaphors for monogamy.

What I did and do like is video games, and my pattern with them is clear. I play one for like six hours and its the best thing period, then I suddenly switch to a different one, and keep jumping games.

At its strongest, what I’ve felt for other people is similar to what I feel when I’m playing games, so I really suspect that if I ever start dating I’ll either be dating multiple people at once or serial dating. And I’m pretty sure the former is gonna be better for me.

sarah_kay_gee
sarah_kay_gee
3 years ago

I’m pretty sure no one should be buying such a tome “used”.

Jules
Jules
3 years ago

Speaking of carousels:

Hambeast, disorderly she-tornado and breaker of windows
Hambeast, disorderly she-tornado and breaker of windows
3 years ago

Buttercup said

I live in Maine, and this is extra hilarious because Eastport’s major industry is canning sardines.

This makes me think that this would be a grand parody of Twin Peaks and now I want it to happen.

Gussie Jives
Gussie Jives
3 years ago

Off topic, but I’ve been listening to those “Oh What a Feeling” discs that whatever organization runs the Junos released back in the 90s and as a Canadian history and music nerd I was shocked that I didn’t know this: the RCMP had a file on Canadian feminists back during the second wave, including Rita MacNeil.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/rita-macneil-included-in-rcmp-s-spy-campaign-on-women-s-movement-in-1970s-1.722609

*sigh* Dammit, Mounties, I know you’ve had issues since the Red River Rebellion, but come on, leave Rita out of your Red Scare crapola! If you want to bother some Cape Bretoners, go hassle the Rankin Family. Got plenty of them to work with.

Incidentally, any Mammotheers know where I can get Volume 2 of “Oh What a Feeling”? I don’t think it’s available for digital download anywhere and it’s probably long out of print. Volume 3 looks like it has too much Chad Kroeger for my tastes….

dcfcfan1
dcfcfan1
3 years ago

@Ellesar

Shame. I think a generation of bitter young men have Hijacked MGTOW and turned it into some women-loathing bullshit. I support MGTOW too but will never identify myself with a group of women-hating assholes.

I dont get why those young men just cant explore the world a little instead of obsessing with their rejections. I mean, Ive been to 14 countries and having the time of my life (people here wont believe). Italy on Friday, tick the 15th of the list ! Cant these young men who cant get dates just read, or exercises or study ?

Msexceptiontotherule
Msexceptiontotherule
3 years ago

Psst….MGTOW has ALWAYS been about the women-hating.

dcfcfan1
dcfcfan1
3 years ago

Respectfully, I dont agree. It was meant to be about self improving and not feeling ashamed of not getting a gf/married/living up to “societies” standards. Now it has turned into a women-hating sham

General Factotum
General Factotum
3 years ago

A review from Goodreads, of the same author’s book “One-Way Ticket”:
“A sensitive account of a woman seeking revenge for her father’s murder. True, the narrative focused predominantly on her boobers, but always tastefully, and i never felt like the descriptions of her skyward-pointing nipples weren’t essential to the plot.”

IgnoreSandra
3 years ago

@Misogynist

Respectfully, I dont agree.

Too bad. Disagreeing with facts doesn’t make you respectful, it just makes you willfully wrong.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Citation sorely fucking needed on MGTOW ever being about anything besides misogyny. It was certainly the same 7 years ago when this blog started and sad boner creep would’ve been 16. Doubt he was following MGTOW before that time.

JS
JS
3 years ago

@Irene Thanks for that. I wish I could compress that joke into 140 chars.

Nameless Wonder
Nameless Wonder
3 years ago

@dcfcfan1

Respectfully, I dont agree. It was meant to be about self improving and not feeling ashamed of not getting a gf/married/living up to “societies” standards. Now it has turned into a women-hating sham

Stop trying to gaslight everyone here. MGTOW has always been about men’s money and how men don’t think they’re getting their moneys worth out of a relationship. If they can’t partner with a 100% submissive “Stacy” and dump her without losing $$$ in a divorce, then a relationship just is not worth it for them. MGTOW has always been about male entitlement to having the best of the best of the best (SIR!) and nothing less than perfection will ever be good enough. Women have always been treated like commodities by you guys instead of living breathing complex human beings

You call yourself ugly. You say you’ll never get a girlfriend solely because of your looks. BULLSHIT. I’ve met plenty of straight and bisexual women who would love to meet a well rounded gentleman but you would write them off as hypergamous because they’re poor, not 100% pretty, or they’re chubby, or they don’t behave like doormats and porn stars. It doesn’t matter if they’re nice to be around or educated or responsible or have fun hobbies. You don’t trust women when they say all they want is a man who doesn’t use abuse them, use drugs and cheat on them.

You’ve admitted your a MGTOW and brag about your exploits jet setting across the world while most everyone else is struggling just to put food on the table. This absolutely REEKS of classist smugness and #NotAllMRAs speak, not to mention making it obvious to the entire fucking world you’re spending tons of money “having the time of your life” for the opportunity of running into that ultra-submissive import wife because you secretly think American women are ungrateful assholes.

If you think this assessment is unfair, too fucking bad. You’re not fooling me or anyone else here.